My eldest is my stepdaughter. It is hard to "share" a child. I work hard to let go of my own self and just be happy that my lovely dd has a mother in her life who loves her. And I'm human too, so it's not always that easy. :grouphug: I get it. Hang in there. Be excited with him if you can as he embarks on his summer adventure. You'll always be the one who taught him to tie his shoes, and held him when he was throwing up in the middle of the night, and holds him accountable when he's done wrong, and plans his birthday parties, and makes his favorite meals. You'll always be "home" to him, no one can replace that. :-) Cat

The details are gorier. My sister raises chickens and happened to be butchering about the time my chicken was hurt, so I took Lucy along with me when I went to help with her chickens. It's pretty easy-- hang them upside down by their feet (with twine or rope) and slit their throats. When they're hanging upside-down, they stay still, but they flap once their throat is cut-- if you care about broken wings you can put a gunny sack around them before you slit. Catch the blood in a pan if you don't want to attract critters to the bloody spot in the dirt. Dunk the chicken in hot water, about 140-150 degrees, for a couple minutes, then pull off the feathers. Then you cut off the head and feet and eviscerate the chicken. It sounds harder than it really is, but it's about as gross as it sounds, lol. Cat

This reminds me of my daughter's first-grade experience in a half-day autism classroom-- the teachers called her "baby" and "crybaby" among other things. This was supposed to be a teaching strategy. The rationale: To show her what would happen with her peers in a regular classroom. Never mind that they weren't her peers, they were adults that we (and she) trusted to protect and support her. Never mind that her wonderful regular classroom teacher would NEVER have allowed such behavior from peers, nor would the playground aides and parent volunteers, and never mind that the school had a very clear anti-bullying policy that was strictly enforced. They let her call home because she was so upset. That was a mistake on their part, one I am profoundly grateful they made. I have never been so livid in my life. And they were surprised at my reaction! She was out of that classroom within the week. With a full-time assistant in the regular classroom. The classroom was investigated and the teacher left at the end of the year. I can't imagine a school principal or district allowing or condoning or looking away from that kind of behavior. I find that more disturbing than the actual incident with the child. Cat

It's delicious! The recipe: http://myfunnybunch.blogspot.com/2006/08/blueberry-cobbler.html (Scroll past the blabbering-- the recipe itself is at the bottom of the post.) I made blueberry jam last year by whirling the berries in the food processor to deal with the skins. It was fabulous!! I use Pomona's pectin for low-sugar jam, and the jam really did taste like fresh blueberries. I plan to make more than one batch this year because it was such a hit. Cat

We've got two adults and four young ones right now. Our chickens have never gotten sick. I got a little freaked when I read about chicken diseases too, but so far, so good. When it got cold outside, we put a heat lamp in the coop. When I say cold, I mean below freezing. If it's just plain cold, they have to shiver. This is for the adult chickens. We kept the chicks in the basement until the weather warmed up and they were grown enough to withstand normal cool spring temps. Our neighbors think our chickens are great. They barely know they're in our yard. Every once in a while the neighbor kids collect an egg, which they think is way cool. Our chickens do not die of old age. Ahem. If you want chickens for pets, stop reading. ;) We used to have three adult hens. One of our chickens was injured somehow. Rather than pay $50 or more just to set foot into the vet's office, she ended up in our freezer and eventually in the crockpot. (We were very respectful when tossing the bones in the trash, though. Does that count?) You can see our back yard chicken coop, and the chickens, here: Chickens at Poohsticks Cat

I'll second everything that dalynnrmc and Mrs. Mungo have written. I had a very similar experience to yours. My middle boy did what your little guy is doing. I cried every time he latched on, it was just SO painful to nurse him. My nipples were pinched into pyramids and bleeding. I called a lactation consultant and she helpfully said, "Oh, you're an experienced mom, just use all of those tricks that you know and it will all work out." (Oh, gee....I hadn't thought of that. :rolleyes: Some people just don't think before they open their mouths.) I finally called another lactation consultant. That's my first bit of advice: Talk to an LLL leader or another lactation consultant. The helpful lactation consultant gave me a couple more simple tongue games to play with baby, in addition to those mentioned already: Face to face while baby is awake, stick out your tongue. The baby should try to stick his tongue out too. (This cracks me up, btw. I played this game with all of my babies because it's funny.) Gently tickle the end of baby's tongue with the end of your pinkie, then slowly pull your pinkie out of his mouth, still tickling. The tongue should follow. A friend with a similar problem said she enlisted the help of a friend and her dh and went to bed with the baby for two days. She let baby use her for a pacifier, nursed as often as possible, latching and relatching and relatching until they got it right. Would your parents take care of the other kids and the house while you "hide" in the bedroom? (I certainly hope they don't expect to be entertained.) :grouphug: Hang in there.

Check with your salon or stylist when you make the appointment. There may be a local organization that provides the same service to children in our community. I'd only heard of Locks of Love, but I got my hair cut from mid-back length to chin length, and the stylist asked if she could donate it to the local foundation instead of LOL. I am lovin' my short do. Cat

I voted "Other." Our neighborhood school has two recesses, 15 minutes each, as well as playtime during the lunch break--typically 10-15 minutes depending on how long it takes individual children to eat their lunches. On warm days children often eat lunch or have PE classes outside. I hate hearing/reading about dusty dirty cement playgrounds. Our school playground has a huge grassy field, a baseball diamond, and lots of playground equipment. There is a very active parent association that uses money from fundraisers for supplemental music and PE education and playground equipment. Cat

A book (if we know for sure that the teacher doesn't own it). A small basket of fun teacher supplies: Pens, pencils, Post-Its. Gift cards: Ben & Jerry's, coffee store, bookstore, teacher supply store, farmer's market, craft store. And most important, I have the children make a card or write a letter or draw a picture. Words of appreciation are a precious gift. :) Cat

Books on education and child development offer valuable advice, but every writer and researcher (not to mention pediatrician-MIL-nosy neighbor) has different ideas about the best way. Once you've read the ideas of others, use your own instincts. :) The more language we use with young ones, the better. We used both, and more. Adult talk. Baby talk. Nonsense words. Read the newspaper or gardening book out loud. Silly rhyming books. Songs, real and made-up. Described the rain or spoke our thoughts out loud, "Gee I wish that goofy UPS guy would bring my package. Let's see what's in the refrigerator." We filled the day with words-- real words, imaginary words, long words, baby words. Now I just wish they would be quiet once in a while. :D Cat

I completely get where you're coming from. My guys thrive on structure and routine too, and enjoy workbooks as much as they enjoy hands-on learning. Without the structure, they are far less pleasant to be around. Occupied and challenged, they are gems during their school time and their play time. Nature journals: I'd recommend the book Wild Days (Karen Skidmore Rackliffe). I reviewed it on my blog, review here. Actually, now that I think of it, I write about our nature studies often on my blog: Nature Studies at Poohsticks Because you need another "must-do" right? ;) But seriously, the great thing about nature studies is that you can make the notebooks as important or not as you like, as you have time for, as the children are interested. In a nutshell, we do pretty much what you described: Wander the woods and make a nature journal. Our nature journals are just sketch books, and we bring drawing and painting supplies with us. We write or draw whatever tickles our fancy. I do (very gently) insist that each child make an effort to put something in the journal, but what they choose to draw (or paint or write, or sometimes to tape onto the page) is completely up to them. Because nature study is a priority for our family, I try to embed other subjects, make the nature studies do double-duty-- handwriting and drawing, writing, science, copywork and poetry, reading for information about things we've seen, reading literature about nature for pleasure. I hope that's helpful and not one more thing on the "to do" list. :) I have found that for me deliberately choosing "wild days" or nature days helps me to slow down and relax and enjoy learning with the kids. Cat

I get myself caught up in wanting to do it all. I look at what others accomplish and I feel inadequate. Not because I don't appreciate what I'm doing with my children, but because I want to be able to do all of the things we already do PLUS what I see. The lightbulb went on for me when my sister said to me that she saw what I was doing-- the art projects, the nature studies-- and she felt like she wasn't doing enough in those areas. I'd been looking at her schooling and feeling like I wasn't doing enough in different areas. :D Specific scheduling suggestions that have helped us: You don't have to cover every subject every day. My schedule is a piece of lined paper with the subjects I want to cover each day, prioritized in order of importance. We do math daily, science and our unit study twice a week, and so on. Unit studies are a fantastic. You can cover a subject intensively (including fun projects) without committing to it for the whole year. I was dubious about the effectiveness of this strategy, by the way, but decided to try it this year. Last week in the car my 7 y.o. gave me a whole speech about the African savanna (our winter geography/science study) and how it compares to the grasslands in our valley. I only actually plan a few subjects. The rest we just "do the next thing" (complete the next math page, read the next chapter, and so forth) until we're done. So...general advice: You can't do it all. No one can. Think of everything you could possibly want to do schoolwise next year-- projects, daily subjects, field trips. Even to the point that you specify about how much free/play time you want your children to have. Then prioritize. Cross stuff off the list until you have what you can manage. You'll probably find that it's quite a lot. If you're like me, it will be painful to cross off some of those items, lol. I gave up a subject I had my heart set on teaching because I realized that having time for nature days is a high priority in our school. Now at the end of the year, I can't remember what exactly it was that I let go, and we've got notebooks full of nature drawings and have spent a lot of time out of doors. Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. You're in this for the long haul, and you don't have to do every subject, every project, every book, every field trip right now. (I don't know if this is an issue for you, by the way, just throwing it in because I am finally realizing this for myself.) I made a "if there's time" wish list when I was trying to figure out my priorities, and we actually got to some of the things on the list. And your guy is so young. If he enjoys reading then read. He'll learn. Play games, make it fun. You're very low pressure for him....now give yourself the same grace. You're learning too, and this is a perfect time to figure out what works for you. Use the resources you find, the blogs and Ambleside and WTM for ideas, for inspiration, for help, and then do it your way. I've read here and elsewhere that most people take about three years to get really comfortable and confident with homeschooling. It's certainly been true for me. :grouphug: Take a deep breath. You won't ruin your kids, even if they never learn who in the world was Hammurabi. :-) Have fun. Enjoy learning with them.

My boys have enjoyed The Little House series as well. Laura and Mary have exciting adventures. Swallows and Amazons has been the hit of the year. They asked me the other day if I'd read it again. Swallows and Amazons Cat

Our school district has an open-door policy. My son took a PE class at our neighborhood school last year, and could have taken music as well. We were also invited to use the library and join extra-curricular clubs. It was a wonderful experience. I wish our schedule allowed us to continue to participate. Cat

Fruit cobbler/crisp recipes from my blog: http://myfunnybunch.blogspot.com/2007/09/blackberry-days.html http://myfunnybunch.blogspot.com/2006/08/blueberry-cobbler.html You'll have to scroll down to the bottom of the posts to the recipes. I didn't use frozen berries, so I got out my cookbook to look-- The New Best Recipe recommends thawing berries in a collander set over a bowl to collect the juice, then making the berry juice into a syrup. "Simmer the juice in a small saucepan over medium heat until syrupy and thick enough to coat the back of a spoon" then mix the syrup in when you mix the berries with the other filling ingredients. Increase the baking time by about 5 minutes. I wish we had enough frozen berries left for a cobbler, yum! Enjoy! Cat

My first thought was "Sure, we have lots of great bird books, and a couple about bees too!" Oh. Duh. ;) Can you go to the library to preview books? That's what I did. I'll bet the children's librarians are accustomed to pointing parents toward books that might be helpful, and that would give you an idea of what might work best for your family. You can check out an age-appropriate book for free, and you can return it so that it's not sitting around waiting for a younger not-quite-ready person to find it. Cat

Big B, Little b What begins with B? Barber Baby Bubbles And a bumblebee! How many times have I read this book? Big C, little c, what begins with C? Camel on the ceiling, C, c, C. I could go on............ ;)

A nap.

You've already got some great responses. Two of my boys sometimes tell me, "Mom, it's too much talking." When they've been asked to sit for a long time, especially, or have done a lot of listening, it's as though they've gone into language overload and literally cannot process what I'm saying. I have been in your very shoes, and been completely frustrated by that response from my own boys. :grouphug: FWIW, I also have an ds who will yell and bang when he's upset. It takes him a long time to get over it. But he gets over it eventually. Now I try to KISS (Keep It Simple...er...Silly ;) ) when I suspect a fine young gent is already in overload, especially when he's hungry or has been in a situation with a lot of people and talking. "I was frustrated today with your talking. You know the rule is no talking, and I had a hard time concentrating." Then later, usually at bedtime, when we're relaxed, not hungry, not too tired we diiscuss it. I'm less frustrated, he's more able to really listen, we go over the expectations and problem-solve together about making different choices next time. Sigh....I am reading this and thinking, "If only my real life were as simple as it looks online." It's not been quite that easy, lol. But we're plugging away and changing my response to this particular issue really is starting to make a difference. Cat

We play "I Spy" too, especially when the guys are getting restless. Our favorite car game lately is singing the road signs and business names going by to the tune of The William Tell Overture. (Sing it with me: "Left turn, Playful Pet, Will-a-mette Street...")

We went on the spur of the moment this afternoon because it was warm and sunny. I bought tomato, broccoli, and cucumber starts, and the kids hit me up for the last cookie from the bakery stand. The bakery dude threw in the last macaroon for free. Score! ;) We saw leafy greens, asparagus, honey, bok choy, gorgeous bouquets of flowers.....I can't remember what else. Lots of stands with garden starts and other plants. Cat (in OR), off to plant things

Chore chart on the fridge? My kids have a hard time with rotating chores because no one, my own forgetful self included, can remember whose week it is for which chore. Cat care goes to the oldest because she's obsessed with the cats, dog feeding goes to the youngest child capable of the chore because the others are assigned more difficult chores. So I guess my suggestion would be to either have a big visual reminder in a prominent place, or choose one person and assign them a time to do the chore. After breakfast and after dinner work well here. You'll probably still have to remind once in a while. I still have to remind my 15 y.o. to do her chores. :glare: Cat

My dh works from home and was delighted when we moved to a house with an office that has a door. The children know not to go into the office without permission. And I am not shy about asking for help if I need it. (You know, if someone barfs, or when someone needs help with a math problem right about the same time the another someone informs you that he accidentally peed all over the floor next to the potty. And the phone is ringing, and the UPS guy just pulled up.) Perhaps you and your dh could compromise: ~He works in the other room with the door closed when he needs to concentrate. At those times he is not available for little people with questions. If you need help, you'll come ask for it. ~If he's doing work that he's able to complete with interruptions, he is welcome to hang out with you all at the table. But if he's in the room, that means he's available for all kinds of questions, so you won't try to run interference even when he's been asked "Daddy, what are you doing? Can I sit with you? Are you working? Can I see? What's that? Can I see? Click on that! What's that?" for the umpteenth time in a row. If he genuinely desires to help because he wants to be a part of your day and of the children's education, woohoo! Maybe he needs a specific task-- teach science or help with math or read the history read-aloud. Then both he and the children know when that time begins and ends, he feels involved, you get some help...win-win-win. I love having my husband at home during the day. It's wonderful. And we've found that the best way to make it work is for everyone involved to have some clarity about boundaries. It'll take some practice and adjusting, but eventually you'll settle in to what works best for you. :) Cat

:) Just don't let them know about the really good double-fudge with chunks stuff hidden in the way back of the freezer. ;)

:grouphug: I have a drama queen. You're describing my special needs daughter to a "T". Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there. Things I have learned....wait, am learning.....from my drama queen: Drama begets more drama. She will push my buttons until I engage. Once I (finally) recognized the pattern, I stopped engaging. Mostly, anyway. I'm not perfect and I have my days too. As she gets louder, I get quieter. I tell her "Let's solve this instead of fighting." I tell her, "I want to hear what you have to say, and I can't talk about this when you're disrespectful." For my dd, it's mostly in demand situations. I am placing a demand on her time and energy that's not naturally rewarding to her: Brushing teeth, getting ready for bed, doing chores, schoolwork. My natural isntinct is to shrug my shoulders and say (not in so many words, but in essence) "I don't care if you want to do it, you have to." Now, I validate that she doesn't want to do the activity. I say, "I hear what you're saying. I do understand you don't want to do this. Here's why it's important...." I don't think the explanation is as important as letting her know that I hear her. I find ways for her to be as successful as possible. If I know something will be difficult for her, I warn her ahead of time: "In twenty minutes it will be time for X, I'll ask you to get your books in ten minutes, then you'll have time to relax until it's time to start." I found I was saying things like "Do this. If you don't here's what will happen (consequence)." I've switched to, "It's time to do this. When you're done, here's what will happen (something to look forward to,even if it's just being finished for the day)." One day she started yelling about something, and I said "What do you want? What do you want from me that I can give you without you yelling?" And she yelled, "I want a hug." Oh. So I love on that girl. Love, love, love. When she's calm and open to spending time with me, I try to fill her tank as much as she'll let me. I hug her as often as I can. I set up a special time to wake her a few minutes early in the morning and sit with her to rub her back and tell her about the upcoming day and to let her know how much I love her. I check in with her at night. I try to give her as much positive attention in non-demand situations as I can, and it's making the situations where I must place a demand easier. Not easy, but easier, at least. If nothing else, you're not alone. As a matter of fact, reading your post reminded me that no, I am not the only mother with a child who struggles with daily demands, which is...well, not good, but at least we're not the only ones in the whole entire world. :-) :grouphug: again. Cat