That's what my dh did and they all had a great time!

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Well, let's see... I had HG through my pregnancy which caused me to be hospitalized three times. I went into early labor at 6 months and had to be on bed rest for the last 3. I had preeclampsia so badly I had to eventually e induced. Hard labor for 23 hours and after he was finally pulled out I nearly died from loss of blood as they could not stop the bleeding and I had to have multiple blood transfusions. So yeah, I know a little bit about traumatic birth experiences. Mine was so traumatic that I adopted twice rather than go through it again. But all I care about now and all I cared about then was my baby was safe. Sure a natural birth followed by going home that same day and making dinner for my family would have been great but it didn't happen. Instead I spent 5 days in the hospital trying to stay alive. Oh well. I chose not to focus on my experience and instead be grateful for my healthy child. So obviously you are very sensitive about this topic as evidenced by the "f--you" but know that I am not discounting the fact that women HAVE bad experiences since I had one myself. I am, however, not impressed with women who tell me they are upset because their birth experience was not the perfect experience they wanted it to be. Yes there are women who are more about the experience than the baby. I have met many... Some who even tell me they are depressed because they had an epidural when they really wanted to go natural. Depressed? Really? Over that? After my pregnancy and delivery I am just grateful my ds lived through it.

It is so hard to watch our kids learn such tough lessons. :grouphug::grouphug:

I don't have an opinion on home birth vs. Hospital birth. I think it is a personal choice. But I do have to agree that far too many women are more worried about whether or not their "birth experience" measures up to some utopian standard they have set for themselves rather than just being happy the baby arrived safely. My SIL ended up having an emergency c-section after preparing herself for an all-natural, at home, water birth. In the end the baby was perfect but all she could talk about was how upset she was that she didn't have the baby naturally. Give me a break... You have a healthy baby... How about a little more gratitude and a little less navel-gazing?

I've never seen the show but the article is not speaking about praising your kids for doing something really well... it is speaking against giving them praise for doing a crappy job. It mentions how we reframe "failure" into a "good try". My ds (7yo) was doing math problems online today and when he got one wrong it clapped for him and said "Nice try!" I would prefer a simple "incorrect". I had to laugh at the example of the principal dealing with kids throwing sand at each other and how she had to sit them down and "talk through" their feelings, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah... As an elementary school principal I am famous at my school for saying to squabbling kids, "If you don't need stitches or a cast, then work it out." I asked my older ds what he thought about when a teacher wants to sit the two of you down and talk through your feelings. He said "Well, I kind of wish they would just stop talking and dragging it out. It's over already. Sheesh." I believe that kids should be praised when they have ACCOMPLISHED something (even if it is something small like solving a really tough math problem that has been giving them trouble) but they should not be praised for doing what is EXPECTED of them (like making their bed).

Portion size is one major factor. When we moved here we were surprised at how small the portions are and the hawker stall owners will automatically give a bigger portion to westerners. When I asked them why they said it was because of the complaints from westerners. I also think there is a "desensitization" to obesity in America. We are quick to make excuses for it. Both my dh and I are shocked at how FEW obese locals there are on this island. All the "fat" people are westerners! I think we get used to something and then we don't notice as much any more. It becomes the norm. We just got cable after 2 years without it and when you watch american reality shows (and I am NOT talking about The Biggest Loser) there seems to be an overabundance of obese people on these shows. This is how the world sees us.

That is how we typically handle it as well but i didn't want to be accused of "submitting". :lol:

This is so true and I think some professors are becoming numb to it. I had to order a book for my last class. It did not arrive in time. We had a test over the first few chapters that I bombed because I did not have the book. The professor asked me what happened and I told him. He said "you should have told me. I would have let you take the test after you got the book." I said "I am an adult. I knew I needed the book. I should have ordered it earlier to make sure it arrived on time." This is grad school and these professors are so used to hearing 5 million excuses why someone needs a deadline extension that they now just extend the deadline on their own. Example #2 my 5yo niece is in karate. She was supposed to test for her next belt. She was very ill on the day of testing. When she got better she went to class and the instructor just handed her the belt and told her "I know you would have passed any way." My brother was furious. He made his daughter give the belt back until she could set for it like everyone else. I wish more parents would hold their kids to a higher standard.

These are great thoughts. I realized tonight as we were at the movies and he was sitting in my LAP that it primarily is an attachment to me...or at least I am the one he tends to cling to the most. I think I am going to try gradual separation... Like tell him he has to stay in the tv room while I go to the bathroom. I can even set a timer and give it to him. He may also just be extroverted. He hates to play by himself! As a child I preferred to be by myself so this is definitely a challenge. I don't think he has anxiety. He seems like a pretty happy kid in every way except the clingy thing. I guess we will see how this works out. Thanks!!!

I do not but my dh and oldest ds are diagnosed as OCD and Tourettes.

Isn't that the same thing?

Great article!!

Well dh and I have worked at the same place together for 3 years now and I love it!!!

??? So it's genetic?

As a Calvinist, I actually don't know any calvinists who believe in a cruel God. We consider him to be quite merciful, really. But perhaps your experience with calvinists is different?

Part of me does wonder if it is related to his adoption but Natalie is also adopted and not that way at all so i did not want to automatically assume that was it. We have been very careful to reassure him and give him lots of attention but I suppose I thought he would have outgrown it by age 7???? Just now he was upstairs, in broad daylight, playing a game with his brother. When his brother went downstairs to get a glass of water Alex had to come with him rather than wait upstairs alone for 5 minutes. I know this sounds awful but sometimes it can just be... well... annoying... to be followed everywhere you go. How can i help him?

We adopted ds from Korea when he was 7 months old. We were warned that we might have to deal with an attachment disorder. Actually, he HYPER attached to us. From day one he would only let me or dh hold him... No one else. He wanted to be carried at all times. He had to sleep with us or he would freak out. We literally could not leave him with anyone. Once my mom watched him for me for one hour. He sat in the corner and screamed if she came near him. If we tried to put him in the church nursery and then later in Sunday school he would cry until he threw up. Around age 5 he got to where I could take him to Sunday school and if I stayed for a while I could then leave and he would be ok... But not for too long. Now at age 7 he goes to school and he is ok but he is still very clingy. He will not sit in a room by himself... Not even for a moment. If he and I are watching tv and I get up to go to the kitchen he will follow me. He follows me everywhere. And when we are together he has to sit right next to me, often in my lap. Also, he still will not sleep in his own bed. He has to sleep with us or with his older brother. Will he eventually outgrow this? Should I be concerned? Will I ever be able to go to the bathroom wi thout him waiting outside the door?

So tonight I am going to the movies with my dh. I want to see a romantic comedy. He wants to see an action flick. One of us is going to have to give in to the other one. Or would it be better if we just don't go at all so we can say neither of us "submitted" to the other? :D

Yes I do and I feel very fortunate.

This week it is "The 6th Man" by Baldacci.

Dh says "I don't know. It's just weird." And I don't share beds with anyone but my dh or kids either.

It is this very thing, and the responses above, that led me to be a Calvinist. Calvinism says we do not choose God, he chooses us. We do not believe unless he gives us the faith to do so. This, for me, explains people who would "like to believe but they just can't seem to". For me it also explains why, after the countless times that I have tried to walk away from God due to anger and disappointment in my life, I can't. I just can't. I tried to NOT believe but he always pulls me back.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

A completely honest answer... No I wouldn't. Three is my max. I am too old and too tired for any more. I thought for a bit that I might do more but I just can't hack it. In addition, I don't want to give up my career. Juggling three kids with a career is a lot of work and any more kids would mean something has to give (speaking for myself of course, not anyone else). I am sure that notion will ruffle feathers, but it is true for me.