I do expect my dd to walk anywhere within 2ish miles and bike within 5ish miles whenever feasible. We live in a rundown-but-mostly-safe city neighborhood so she has access to most of her friends, most of her babysitting jobs, all of her cat sitting jobs, the library, many businesses, parks, beaches, and both dh's and my places of employment. This requires crossing two majors roads and navigating many streets with no sidewalks. If the weather is bad, time is short, or dd has a lot to carry, we happily drive her. But the default expectation is that she will walk/bike. This is uncommon in our area. I seldom see kids walking anywhere. My neighbor drives her 5th grader to school every day even though it is three blocks away. It baffles me but not my circus.

We have a had our tiny pop-up for 12 years and love it. It was very used when we got it so it was quite grimy and a little banged up. I had big plans to update the curtains and cushion covers but we found out very quickly that the inside of pop-ups are very hard to keep neat so it is always in a state of total stuff-explosion-chaos at any given time during a trip. The color of the interior did not matter so much to me after a trip or two. I have power washed ours a couple of times. It gets very grimy on the outside just from normal use. Ours is so old and grimy now that I have pretty much given up. I hose down the awning once a year or so but never get all of the grime off anymore. The canvas stays pretty clean. The box exterior gets a carwash periodically but again never gets all the way clean anymore. I am only telling you this so you don't put too much effort into shining it up....it will be a losing battle. Like others I keep it stocked with most of what we will need. We practically live in it during the summer, usually without hook-ups of any kind. A couple of things I have learned that make my life easier are: Cook outside whenever you can. Mind the awning when expecting a lot of rain or wind. Get a leveler (BAL is a good one).....it prevents a lot of set-up arguments. If you have trouble with road grit making its way into the box, put your cooking items/dishes in old pillow cases. This prevents having to wash everything before you use it. I store smaller items (silverware, small dishes, cups) in tupperware boxes with sealing lids. If you want to store wine glasses or other breakable items, put them in clean socks. It protects them and if they do break, the mess is contained. Never store food in it when not in use. Chippies and mice can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time. A box of clothespins can be very handy. Aside from hanging wet items you can use them to clip things like extension cords away from sleeping areas or tacky lights to your awning. We clip our headlamps to the curtains by our heads so they are easy to find. If you don't have an AC, small clip-on fans are great both for hot nights AND for keeping mosquitos off of sleepers. Keep a map of what you have in the camper. I always forget what I have and don't have in there from one year to the next. This is how dd ended up with no sleeping bag last week. Sigh. Which leads to the next point.....be sure to UPDATE the map every year. A solar shower bag is great for no-fuss heating of dish water. If you find that you never use your sink (most people don't), take it out and save the space and weight. You can always put it back if/when you sell. This is going to sound gross, but we keep a handful of empty jars with lids in the pop-up for pee emergencies. It never fails that someone has to go during a thunderstorm. Each is labeled with a name and whoever uses one is responsible for emptying and cleaning. Have fun!

Grocery. Nearly twice what our mortgage is monthly. We even eat simply and mostly from scratch. We are just big eaters and food costs are high in our area. However, "grocery" does include personal products, cleaning supplies, and wine.

I do triathlons. I am a very strong swimmer and swim laps several times a week. In your shoes, knowing you will have an open water swim for the race, I would work on breaststroke. And DO get open swim practices in. It really helps to work on your panic before the actual race. Despite being a very strong swimmer, I cannot do freestyle in the open water. The lakes that my races are in are COLD, deep, weedy, and sometimes quite choppy. Even in my practice swims with no one kicking me, I can only do a few strokes of freestyle before I panic. So, I set my sights on improving my breaststoke. It is calming for me, I can see where I am going, and I actually have faster times because I am not getting off course or spending precious energy on panic. Like others have said, I have seen it all.....like semi-pro athletes doing the doggy paddle. The goal of the swim is to finish and not die.

This one is interesting. When i visited Amsterdam, lots of people were wearing raincoats (or at least water-resistant jackets). I did not happen to own one at the time and really wished I did!

I guess "cook" was the wrong word. "Prepare" would be a better term. Sometimes that is simply reheating leftovers or putting something cold on plates....then cleaning it all up. Although, most of the year, it is hot food. We live in a very cold climate, have an ancient house, and cannot keep the heat higher that 62 in the day. Even in the summer we can have strings of 40-50 degree days. Warm meals help keep us warm.

Pita pizzas are a favorite here. Each person stuffs their own pita with whatever pizza toppings they like, wrap in foil, stick on coals.

I hear you! I like cooking and think I am pretty good at it. No one is picky in my house and everyone seems grateful for meals. I am just SICK of cooking three meals every single day. This happens every year right about now. No produce is in season here yet so we are STILL eating root cellar stuff. I am out of imagination. There is only so much I can do with cabbage. In another month, I will be cured. I hope.

Aside from maybe being a bit odd looking and overkill, she should know it rains/drizzles a lot there, especially in the winter. Maybe not great for fur? I second layers with a waterproof jacket. I don't think anyone will attack her or her coat but she will probably get a lot of stares.

12 yo dd has been earning steady cash since age 9 when she went into the cat-sitting business. She has four regular clients that travel often which brings in an average of $100/month. She has additional clients that are less regular. The rule is she negotiates her own jobs but they must be within walking/biking distance from home because other than really bad weather, she is on her own for transport. We only let her take on clients we know personally. We live in a densely packed neighborhood with few children (potential cat sitters) so there is always more demand than supply. She has never advertised. It started by accident and has snowballed ever since. She also babysits. She is still a little young so she only currently sits for people we know well and only when one of us will be home as back-up. She gets far more calls than she can take either because of her schedule or because of our rules. Dd's biggest yield is for playing her violin. She plays solo for weddings, church services, and events. Those are usually big money. She did her first wedding at age 7 for $50. She thought she was rich! She also plays in a band. All of the other members are adults and they charge enough per gig that each member usually get at least $100. They do play often pro bono for charity events so not every gig makes money. She does it because she loves playing with the band and would happily do it for free. Getting paid is just a happy byproduct. I cannot see her getting a traditional part-time job in her teens. Partly because of her schedule but also because she has been spoiled by the jobs she does now. Per hour they all yield far more than minimum wage.

Hmmmm.... With this logic no parent should ever let any kid follow any passion since there is always a minuscule chance that they will take it far enough that even a wealthy family would run out of resources. "Cash-strapped" means after paying very significant costs for a year of private lessons, workshops, chamber groups, transportation to gigs, strings, music, etc.... we are out of "reasonable" funding for camp. A camp that is very much optional but that dd wants to attend. I hardly consider that "start what they cannot endeavor to pay." When we started dd in violin lessons at age 4, we very much endeavored to pay for the lessons and instruments necessary to continue through age 18, taking into account that those things would increase in cost over time. I don't count optional camp within the commitment. The quoted statement was very similar to the tongue-lashing I got that made me question our agreement in the first place. It came from someone with almost unlimited financial resources so I should have just ignored it.

Thanks all! I should not have second-guessed myself. I was feeling bad after getting a bit of a tongue-lashing from another parent about it being cruel to make a kid pay for what parents "should" provide. I paid for my own camps starting around this age. I also paid for my own car and clothing as a teen. It was never a question. For a brief moment I thought that camp was a "should." Good to get some perspective. We will stick with the original deal. I don't think we will even slip in half since we really cannot afford it tis year after buying a new instrument. Perhaps in future years. Dd is very proud of earning it herself and I think that might be diminished if we chip in after all.

My 12 yo dd plays the violin. She won a scholarship last summer to attend a well-known music camp. We paid the remainder of the balance. We could "technically" afford it but are really not in the income bracket where regularly paying for this type of camp is wise. She won another scholarship this year. When it was time to decide and register, dh and I hemmed and hawed over it because we cannot really justify this expense annually. In addition, dd needed a new violin this year which we purchased. This has put an additional strain on our budget (not that we would EVER tell dd this, it is very worth it to us). Dd also plays in a band that has many paying gigs. The deal from day one of this gig-playing was that the money she earned was to be saved to spend on music-related items. If it was not used for that, it is to be put in her college savings account. She babysits and catsits so is always flush with cash and regularly contributes to her savings account. The gig money is not needed for normal pocket cash. Dd has used her gig money to buy amplification equipment, a better case for her violin, a violin stand, uniforms for camp, etc..... We discussed the camp expense with dd before registration this year and she offered to pay the balance of the camp tuition from her gig money. I expected there would still be a balance leftover and agreed with the understanding that we would cover whatever she could not. This seemed like a good compromise since we do pay for lessons, transport to gigs, fees for orchestra, chamber groups, workshops, etc....., and instruments. The camp is a lot of fun for dd. She loves being around others who like music as much as she does. But she is not musically challenged by the camp's programs. So I consider it purely fun/social with no significant "educational" component. Now it is time to pay the balance. Dd has earned the full amount! She is very proud of this. But I am suddenly feeling guilty. Like who makes their 12 yo pay for their own music camp?!? What would you do? 1. Honor the original agreement and pay the balance with her gig money? 2. "Sort of" honor the agreement and pay the balance ourselves secretly putting some or all of the money in her college account? 3. Pay the balance ourselves, come clean with dd, and put the gig money in her college account? My gut wants #3 since it seems downright mean to ask a 12 yo to contribute to summer camp but it is not sustainable for us annually. I fear we would be facing the same thing next year. #2 is a good compromise since we can address it financially from year to year. But seems sneaky. I know there is no right or wrong, just wondering what others who know what it is to be a little cash-strepped would do.

This happened to us years ago except I didn't catch it for two whole months! We were driving around without insurance for TWO months! In our case we had not paid. I never got a bill, lost track of time, and didn't even think about it. We had a multi-policy with home owners. After much digging we discovered that SF had dropped our home owners insurance because they no longer covered our "kind of house." Seeing as we have no dogs, no trampoline, no pool, no wood burning anything, etc..... the only explanation that makes sense is "old house in a crappy neighborhood." No one that I spoke to could give me a specific reason for it no longer being covered. We have never even made a claim. My hunch is that our agent was supposed to have handled this communication with us and failed to do so. So both the homeowners and car insurance were cancelled and we were none the wiser. We never got a cancellation notice or anything despite the fact that they are super great at sending us junk mail and spam. Thank goodness nothing happened! We got new insurance, skipped the agent part, and I have a reminder on the calendar to make sure we are renewed just in case.

State law. Everywhere I have bartended requires all servers to go through periodic training. This is not required for wait-persons in my state but the bartender (and therefore employer) is ultimately the end of the line here so even if a server serves someone WAY too much, they will go after the bartender. I have seen it happen many times. It almost never goes anywhere since the disconnect from customer to bartender (via server) is too weak to hold the bartender accountable, but the process is harrowing enough that most bartenders are wary. I actually will not bartend for restaurants in which I am not directly serving customers because of this. I stick to bartending at straight-up bars....which is its own brand of crazy.

I have done a great deal of waitressing and bartending over my lifetime and still bartend whenever we need extra cash. I have taken all of the training multiple times. The only way I can get in legal trouble is if I serve someone who is obviously very intoxicated (or underage) and it can be proven. This does happen and I have co-workers and employers who have been fined and/or sued from this situation. I do not need to know who is driving. If someone has one too many, has an accident, and blows over, I am unlikely to even be a factor. But if there is someone who is pulled over who is so far beyond drunk that should not have been served, I (and my employer) would be held partially responsible and can be fined/charged. Since I cannot know who is the driver of any party there is not a whole lot I can do except cut a person off. In a busy bar scene, usually the cut-off person will either cause such a scene that I have to call the cops or will try to convince someone else to order more for them. I obviously watch for this carefully. I have chased down more than my share of cut-off people bumming drinks and it is never pretty. I also watch if I suspect someone is going to drive who shouldn't. I will either watch myself or send someone else to do so and call the cops immediately with plate numbers. That is where my responsibility as a server ends. This is pretty rare. Most people who will indeed blow over show no obvious signs. Then it is out of my hands and legally the server is not legally responsible. Not saying any of this is right or ideal, but it is what it is.....in my state anyway.

Depends on where you are. We are not there yet. 2-3 more weeks before we get strawberries.

Camping, swimming, boating, BBQing, parade decorating and marching, field games, watermelon, fireworks, s'mores, and playing instruments/singing around the fire until about 3am. We camp annually for a full week with the same group of families. The 4th is always our last night and if the kiddos aren't broken by then already, we break them all the way with back-to-back FUN. Then we all go home and enjoy a full week of drama-free bedtimes because the kids are toast.

I have done a ton of research on this because we like to camp with a trailer and our vehicle can only pull 1500lbs. There are not a whole lot of options out there. We currently have a very old and tiny pop-up that comes in at 1200lbs. We took some of the cabinetry out of it and do not load much inside to keep the tow weight down. It has an aluminum frame which is why it is so light. We have not found anything more modern that we can tow. When we replace the vehicle, we will get something with more tow capacity but we too would like to keep it at about half the max anyway so will always be looking for light. Look into fiberglas trailers. Scamp is a popular brand but there are many others. They are very light and can be quite spacious. They are not terribly expensive but still out of our price range right now. Someday!

I make my own yogurt at home and recently had to buy a new starter. The only plain small container I could find at the store I went to was Siggi's Skyr, so I bought it and used it to make my own. I cannot tell that my finished product is any different than the yogurt I usually make so it might be in the post-culture processing....similar to Greek yogurt. That said, I do find I quite tasty. I was in Iceland a few weeks ago and very much enjoyed sampling different skyrs. They are not as thick as the Siggi brand found here. But very yummy. I normally cannot stand flavored yogurt here in the U.S. because it is so so SO sweet. The flavored skyr in Iceland is flavorful and just a tad sweet. So good!

Per-student spending is skewed by so many factors. I don't think it is even possible to control for those factors in a way to make meaningful conclusions about educational outcomes. NPR recently reported on the district funding map found here: http://www.edweek.org/ew/section/multimedia/map-how-per-pupil-spending-compares-across-us.html I spent some time checking out different districts and comparing them against my assumptions and anecdotal experiences. I was pretty surprised at how my perceptions compared to reality. I live in a very highly ranked district and I therefore expected funding to be average or above average. It turns out that we are very much below average, $6000/student. Then I looked at other local districts that are ranked much lower in performance. Some had above average funding. Partially this did not surprise me. My district is in a STEM university town with the unusual combination of having a very low average household income for everyone not employed by the university. This creates low school funding combined with a high cultural priority for education. Meaning, the schools will succeed no matter how poorly funded they are because our local culture prioritizes education regardless of income. It seems to be "catchy" if you will. Even though perhaps only 30% of the district's parents are university employees who value education highly, the other 70% does too just because they are surrounded by people who do. Obviously, not a scientific finding by any means but it does support what we do see that even when you throw a great deal of money at very poorly performing school, there is often little change in educational outcomes. Another factor I had not considered is that vast variety in district sizes and how this impacts per-student funding. The schools in my district happen to be in what I would call the "sweet spot" for size. They have enough students to optimize class size yet are small enough to be able to quickly address problems as they arise. Some of the other districts I looked at were so small that per-student funding was high simply because there are not enough kids per grade to fill a classroom. If there are only 10 5th graders, the 5th grade teacher is going to cost more per-student than in a school with 25 5th graders. Granted there are ways to combine efforts across grades but at some point a bathroom (and the costs associated with it) is required and needs to be there whether it is for 5 students or 100. We have a one-room schoolhouse in a neighboring district. No matter how you slice it, a building and the minimal staff required for those 8 students is going to cost more per student than a bigger school. I would argue that very large schools also begin to lose the per-student funding advantage for other reasons. This is just one example of at least ten I can think of that make per-student funding difficult to compare.

I am one of "those people" that notice and twitch and JUDGE every time I see a spelling or grammar error on signs, publications, etc.... I do behave and not make a stink but I do have a like-minded friend that has the same tendencies. To keep ourselves from being jerks in public, we enjoy texting examples we see to each other. There is one that we have voted the very best of the best: Our local library had a funding vote approaching and it was hotly debated. There was a large group of people who felt that the library should not be publicly funded and should be pay-to-use. They had signs everywhere that stated, "Fee's not Taxes!" The irony was almost too much! You can just imagine how smugly the opposition capitalized on that little mistake. The voters did overwhelmingly approve the funding.

It is a tool to prepare food. You can use it to prepare all sorts of foods. It would be like saying, "Don't buy a knife because you could use it to cut cake and cake is bad for you." I have one and I love it. I do use it to prepare smoothies made with plain homemade yogurt and frozen berries that we pick in the summer. This would be no different than eating plain yogurt with berries on top, just in a different form. Sure, you can use it to make chocolate mousse and eat nothing but chocolate mousse but you don't have to, right? I find it pretty bizarre to discourage the purchase of a kitchen tool based on what could be made with it. However, she does have a point that sugary smoothies are not low calorie. Telling you that does make sense. But that is not Vitamix-specific. If it was she should also recommend you get rid of (or never purchase) almost any kitchen tool out there.

I have an irrational fear of bees/wasps. Even though I know I should stay still and they will (probably) leave me alone, I just cannot do it. The fight or flight thing takes over and I'm running around, flapping my arms, and in all likelihood making it more likely I will get stung. I have been this way since I was 7 yo and accidentally put my hand into a wasp nest in the corner of the A-frame of an old swing set. I got stung multiple times and also fell flat on my stomach, knocking the wind out of me in a way I can still recall with almost perfect clarity. This was in addition to at least one sting a year due to wasps that lived in and around my house. By the time I was 10, I was nearly hysterical at the very thought that a bee/wasp might be nearby. I say all of that because despite this, I am still able to enjoy the out-of-doors. I still camp and garden and do lawn care and run almost daily in the summer. I just occasionally look like a freak and elevate my heart rate a little too much. I know of no repellant. I assume if there were an effective one, it would be well-known for all of the people with deadly allergies. What has helped me was to learn about the different types and how they operate. I suspect I would be in a far better place now if some adult had helped me to explore this as a child. So now, I do still completely lose my mind whenever a yellow jacket or wasp comes around but can at least avoid the panic when it is a bumblebee or honey bee. Even my 12 yo, who has been stung a time or two herself, always lectures me on standing still and not elevating the aggression. It does not help me but I am pretty sure her mother's ridiculous behavior has prevented her from developing the same fear....if for no other reason than to avoid looking like a freak.

I cannot agree with all of this since the skater culture on our area is pretty positive but I DO agree about the shoes. I cannot believe how quickly dd rips through shoes on her board. I have taken to buying second hand shoes for skating only after she ripped through brand new Converse soles in about one month on her board. Clothing too, but that is always second hand for her so no worries. However, I suspect given the OP's dd's aversion to injury, all of the above issues will likely not be an issue. I would encourage it because balance in general seems to be a challenge and working through a minor scratch or two on his own might be good coping practice.