Oh, no, I was talking about the mother's comments. She said she didn't think he deserved to be prosecuted, which seems like that would negate the theory of a contentious trade-off game.

Um, I think you're going to have to keep the 4 year old in a 5-point. Not sure what the law is in TX, but most places it's 4 years AND 40 lbs. And then they should be in a high-backed, belt positioning booster until they're 6? Then they move on to the "phone book" (to quote a NHTSA guy) until they fit properly in the seatbelt... and *I* don't even fit properly in the seatbelt. I would suggest something like we've worked out. My husband and I don't have cars. There is the "kids car" and the "no kids car". I mostly drive the minivan, but if my husband takes it for something, then I plan to go nowhere. He can take up to 2 kids in the no kid car (Volvo wagon) but the three will not fit across safely. (It used to be the kid car when we only had 2, but when we suddenly had 4 and three were in carseats...) Or, keep the younger two in full seats and get the oldest the slimmest "phone book" one you can find. That may fit. Ours does fit in the little removable middle row seat in the van, between the two Britax seats in the captain's chairs, and it's not the slimmest one out there. (And remember: the best carseat is the one that fits properly in your car.)

I haven't been there, and I'm sure you will have plenty of useful insights coming. But, for your own psyche, let's apply one of the standard rules of medicine: Common things occur commonly. My boys routinely spray the seat and the floor... and the laundry... and sometimes the wall. I do not suspect there is a physical cause for this. They fairly frequently don't make it in time and have a wetting accident. (They're 4). I don't think it's a physical issue. There is no reason for you to have suspected aiming issues - which, as far as I can tell, occur in about 90% of the male population - were due to anything medical at all. And it's not uncommon for kids to wait until the last. possible. second to go running to the toilet. So, no mommy bashing. You are not Crescan the Magnificent. Ok, on with the usable advice, then. ;)

That is appalling. I hope somebody slapped her.

Yes, but then to say that he doesn't deserve to be prosecuted? I've heard contentious parents say the other should be prosecuted for far less than this... I just can't imagine she would extend that kind of understanding after playing such a game. I'm also wondering what happened to the 5 hours between her calling him and her friend calling 911... Does the mother have a phone? Does she use the "friend"s? Maybe that's where part of the disconnect in communication is. Maybe there is a communication issue with the mother? I don't even know what that means. Is she, perhaps, an addict? Homeless? Did she indicate that she would have a "friend" drive her to meet the children and doesn't recall or doesn't want it to appear that she dropped the ball? There has to be a reason that he has custody. It seems like this whole tragedy is the culmination of a series of bad decisions on the part of every single person involved. (Note: I am NOT placing or deflecting blame, just observing the report) They start off with a bad plan (either on the part of one or both of the parents). Dad and cousin continue the bad plan - driving in really bad weather conditions rather than calling and saying we'll have to wait for the roads to clear. Dad allows the kids to continue on foot, alone. Apparently, cousin concurs. Brother and sister separate. Dad assumes they're safe. Mom assumes they're safe, though they could hardly have been anywhere near on time at that point. Nobody calls 911... I mean, if ANY one person had chosen the "other" option at ANY one of those decision points, this would have been a rescue story, or no story at all. I don't think it can be said enough. This is truly tragic. For everyone involved.

I wasn't strictly referring to Canadian politics (though I'm a Bourassa, so I do have an appreciation) just that very low key, clever sense of humor (humour) Canadians seem to possess... and Americans often don't so much understand. You know, like the spelling. :D

Um, like a chinois? Or is it more like an old-fashioned food mill that has a pestle sort of affair instead of the turny handle thing? Oh, sorry, Tap... didn't see your subject line. Yeah, like Tap pointed out. :-)

Yeah, I think that's the thing to remember: everything will come around again in a week or two. (or two days, in the case of kitchen and hand towels) If it's only half done this time, no worries. We'll come back to it.

I've had that happen, and generally it has been marked as "claimed returned" (which seems snide to me). I check my checkout receipt against books in my bag when I leave the house, so I would know if one was missing. I also had, last year, an incident where my husband grabbed a couple of books on tape (yes, actual cassettes) and when we got home, he realized one had a cassette missing (not the one he wanted to listen to, though), so I called the library and told them. Then, I waited at the desk to explain when I returned them. THEN, I got a rather rude phone call from the library which ended with the caller telling me they would overlook it "this one time"... WTH? They are overlooking a cassette being missing when we checked it out?!?! :glare: I've had the same conversation when trying to renew a book that is not on hold or even new - so not new that the woman who checked it out said I would probably be the last person before it was retired! I generally try to go to an out of state library that's about 45 minutes away. It's where my 7 y.o. has book club and they are so wonderful and flexible and generous. The children's librarian will even periodically check up on the accounts of her book club families and renew our books if they will come due before the next meeting and if it's overlooked, they get rid of the overdue charge and apologize... It's as if they may actually want people to check out their books or something. Go figure.

Oh, dear. I am so sorry. We'll be sending good thoughts your way. :grouphug:

Maybe Minnesotans have a very clever, highly developed sense of humor the rest of us just don't get. You know, like Canadians. :D

Exactly. I don't necessarily act on my initial, momentary judgment but I take in and interpret the message being sent. As with any communication, sometimes the receiver is faulty. Obviously, if my one-look assessment came up with "danger! danger! knife!" I likely wouldn't be waiting to see whether I was accurate. But, generally, the assessment only sets an expectation in my mind about what this person is like, much the same way we form a visual image of people we "meet" first on the phone or assign visual/vocal characteristics of people we chat with online. Obviously, all of those would be overwritten by in-person interaction.

Unfortunately, napping comes to mind every day after lunch. And, yes, I probably do need one, but at this point (it's ten after 4 here) I'll just stick it out. When my bread comes out of the oven, I'll wake the boys and head out to post a cd someone ordered from my Amazon Marketplace listing today, get catfood and, possibly, a new trashcan lid. (Honestly. Who has to buy a trash can lid??) I am taking the "bedrooms or second floor" to mean do the non-public rooms if you live on one story, or the second floor, if you live on multiple. (I have hardwood, too, but vacuum them. We have too much dust and other funk around to swiffer - I'd go through a box of cloths a day. ) Whether you wait until your regular day or go ahead and do your daughter's room is up to you... You can always just do the upstairs floors again next week on the chore list. I'm sure this is not supposed to cause anxiety. :D Meanwhile, my bathroom chores are done... so now I just have laundry folding (which can be done in my room before bed) and vacuuming. Not too shabby on Day 2. Checklists are my very favorite thing, next to spreadsheets.

I had that happen with ball point pen on one of my walls. Truly, unbelievable, the way this ridiculous little scribble could bleed through anything. We ended up using Zinsser oil based primer; it says it can then be painted with regular latex paint, which is what we used three or so years ago and it hasn't bled back through, nor has the paint fallen off the walls. (There are new masterpieces, however) The Zinsser seems thin and transparent, but it seemed to work better than Kilz. I feel your pain. We had saggy, baggy, ugly paneling that we ripped off the kitchen walls and ceiling last year... unfortunately, it was holding up crumbling plaster, so we ended up drywalling over the lath. Ugh.

I've done the regular daily things that can be done at this point, including putting away two loads of laundry and moving along two more. The beds are made, sink cleared out, kitchen cloths changed. There are two loaves of oat bread rising on the counter, we've done school, and I have fed the children at least two meals. I "cleaned out" my purse - a wristlet that barely holds my little card holder and a tube of lip gloss, lol. I went all medieval on that one receipt in there, though! I'm on my way up to do the tub and mirror, and will change the hand towel up there when I'm doing that. We were awakened by a small house fire across the street at 2:15 this morning. (Inconsequential. The guys were all walking around, unmasked, fire out, by the time the second engine arrived and my husband had dressed and gotten out the front door.) I am now debating whether to take a nap or just wait and go to bed early. On the one hand, I could keep plugging away, which I will not do after a nap. On the other, I sent the kids up for quiet time and I think they're napping, so they might not go to bed early... and I may be too tired to actually be able to make a decision. Oh, nifty. The dryer is done. I'll take some clothes up to fold after I do the tub! :blink:

Theirs were, too. Dry trees go very, very quickly.

Can you get him a house plant? The tree is probably a fire hazard, particularly with plugging the lights in. (Sorry. My husband is a firefighter and had a fatal fire a few years ago that involved a Christmas tree, and the daughter and grandchildren of a co-worker. We err on the side of complete paranoia.) This year, we opted for a couple of potted Norfolk pines. You could add a string of battery operated lights and let him have at it without having a Christmas tree up forever.

I did a series of cards like that for our homeschool co-op, so everyone wasn't wandering around wondering what had been done and what needed to be. Right now, since we just started Motivated Moms this week, I've been giving my 7 (almost 8) year old a chore or two on the daily checklist. So, she's been making her and the boys' beds. She cleaned the toilets yesterday (her favorite chore... no, really). She and the boys (4) rotate feeding the cat, and they are all responsible for bringing their own clothes to the laundry room after they change. Your 13 year old is probably more than capable of doing laundry, just not without some education. Laundry is, after all, an experience-based knowledge. :001_smile: So, maybe you should have her sort, given specific criteria. Then, pick the pile that you prefer to be cleaned first and give the next instruction, like examining each garment for stains and treating them the way you prefer. When she's done, then it goes into the washer with instructions... It can seem like more work than doing it yourself, but you're really only sticking your head in periodically. My 4 year olds were ECSTATIC to get their own little broom/dustpan combos from their Auntie for Christmas. I can set them to sweeping the kitchen in the afternoon... is it cleaning service thorough? No. But they'll do it again tomorrow, too, so...

:iagree: Though, if I was going to get just one, it would probably be Financial Peace. The same concepts are in both, but FP has more practical, checklist type of things.

Right-click the link, save-as. Or right-click, open with, and pick iTunes.

:lol: I just put mine out! (Not so much because they are messy - they are! - but because they are being annoying and they need to run off some energy instead of running through the house, dumping things)

I would use a semi-gloss. It's just more wipe-able and doesn't tend to show rubs as readily. Also, frankly, it is the "expected" finish on cabinetry (or high-gloss, but that's WAY shiny) and a flat or eggshell finish would probably just look odd. I love (LOVE!) oil based paint because it flattens out before drying, so it has that nice finish. A friend recommended to me that, since I can no longer, apparently, buy oil, I should thin out latex paint with a little water. It extends the drying time so it, too, flattens out before drying and there aren't any odd textures left by brush or roller. Good luck! I feel you on the need to eradicate the old color scheme. Our house was battleship gray with darker battleship gray trim. Enormously depressing, until I couldn't take it any more and painted every room in a different, saturated color over the course of a year. Much better.

I guess it would depend on the actual cause of the lower libido. Is it just one of those marital lulls? Are you stressed? If you are perimenopausal, it could be to decreased estrogen. In that case, you would want to look for things that enhance estrogen production. dong quai (the Chinese angelica cultivar), hops, ginseng would all be excellent tonics (though angelica should be avoided during menstruation or pregnancy). Most herbalists prefer teas or tintures over capsules. But really, you should look to the cause before trying to seek a solution.

I absolutely love my LG washer and dryer. Huge capacity, very efficient. No issues in 5 years with 4 years of twins in cloth diapers. And they make pleasant little "happy to see you" noises when you turn them on. ;)

The Yarn Harlot, Crazy Aunt Purl (because I knit), and I subscribe to The Simple Dollar for interesting finance / frugal living thoughts.