:grouphug: My son just finished 18 months of weekly chemo on a carboplatin + vincristine protocol. A few things that we learned: Actually getting the infusions wasn't so bad. The bad part was boredom/waiting. Bring amusements to pass the time. Eating was a challenge for my son. If it is a challenge to you (or even if it isn't), I'd recommend the book "The Cancer-Fighting Kitchen" by Rebecca Katz. It was useful for the recipes, as well as the front matter of the book. I have actually loaned the book to a half-dozen friends, neighbors and family members who were going through chemo. All of them found it useful. While your oncologist sounds like a train wreck, don't underestimate how awesomely fabulous the nurses can be. We spent a ton of time with our nurses, and they were marvelously practical. And I have to concur with the others; get an oncologist you are comfortable with. You may have to have some long conversations with the person. Better to be confident and comfortable with him/her.

We live in Portland, Oregon. My son is in first, and this is the fifth week of school. His class has differentiated reading, but it seems to depend on the teacher. We were really lucky this year and he has an amazing teacher. They also have differentiated math. I was dreading this year due to class sizes ballooning, but the teacher has done a remarkable job. _________________________________________________ DS1(7): Afterschooling with LOF, living math books, US History, OPGTR, McGuffey Readers DS2(3): OPGTR, at his insistence

We had Middle Eastern for our wedding -- hummous, tabbouleh, falafel, pita, babaganoush, salad, lamb kabobs... It was lovely. Almost everything was at room temperature. The colors were great, and it was almost entirely dairy-free (feta cheese, but that is mostly optional).

MtnMama, I think our boys would be very good friends! And yes, finding similarly interested friends locally has been a challenge. I think we will get some Edmund Fitzgerald books and the song out this weekend. I went to undergrad in northern Michigan, so I think I know all the words to the song... Thanks for the resource, Mrs Mungo!

Hive -- My DS6 is an aspiring poet. Or slam poet. He likes to rhyme, in any case. ;) His poetry revolves primarily about the Civil War or the Revolutionary War. Paul Revere is a big hero, and he loves to read/recite The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere. I am currently reading him Shel Silverstein poems, which he tolerates because they rhyme. However, he has asked for some more dramatic poetry, hopefully involving the Civil or Revolutionary War, or ship wrecks, or similarly dramatic things. Can you recommend a collection that is remotely appropriate for a 6 year old? I know, this is a crazy, crazy request.

Hive-folk, I hope you all can provide a bit of a reality-check for me. My DS6 (almost 7) is very imaginative. If I ask him a question about his day (say he's with his aunties), I get this long, winding spiel about what they did, even though it is really something completely different than what actually happened. And it is constant. I don't think that he is necessarily lying for purposes of deception, he just seems to have his own version of events that no one else has. It often involves him as a hero or at least someone with particular insight. While at home, he spends a goodly portion of time playing by himself or reading. I think he's a bit of a space cadet (in the doting mother way), but it seems harder and harder to actually have a conversation with him about his day (when we aren't together), what is actually thinking, etc. Is this normal? Do kids go through a particularly imaginative phase? I don't have friends or family with kids my son's age (they are all younger), so I don't really have a frame of reference. (And yes, I'm really this clueless.) Thanks

My go-to recipe is: 2 c spinach 1 banana 1 c frozen mixed berries (I used the Costco three-berry blend) 1 c water 1 t cinnamon 2 T flax seed (ground) 1 T fresh ginger Everything gets chucked into the blender and it eventually turns into a delicious smoothie. Without the ginger it is a little bland, but the ginger really perks it up.

Of course, bring the issue up, but if you want to try something at home, you might want to read the book "Food Chaining" by C. Fraker. It has really helped my son. It is hard work, but so worth it.:001_smile:

If the nurse is flip again, ask for the charge nurse. Tell her/him factually the situation. Ask him/her to help fix the issue. If the charge nurse doesn't get the job done, ask for a patient advocate. If the patient advocate doesn't help, ask them to refer you to someone else for assistance (floor steward is sometimes the next one up the food chain). Don't be afraid to advocate for your child! I know it is hard and you're hurting, but get good care and then deal with emotions... Pm me if you need help navigating the "system.":grouphug:

My 15yo nephew just spent the week with us, and he got "bored" (tragically). We ended up giving him a few golf clubs and some plastic practice golf balls and let him whack balls back and forth in the backyard. We followed it up with a trip to the driving range. You can pick some up at Goodwill or Salvation Army for a buck or two, and the balls are super cheap. I'm not saying the game of golf is inexpensive, but it keeps them busy. When nephew got home, he picked up clubs at Goodwill and is continuing to play in his own backyard.

For cleaning bedrooms with my DS6 and DS3, I find that giving discreet tasks in the same order, every time, helps. If I say, "Clean your rooms," they just stare at me like I have three heads. But the steps keep them more organized. DS6 has finally memorized the steps and I only have to remind him 10 times instead of 100 times... In any case, I set a timer for 10 minutes (they don't have cleaning stamina...). Then they use the following steps: (1) pick up dirty clothes; (2) pick up books; (3) pick up toys; (4) pick up trash; and (5) make beds. For cleaning the house (generally), squirt bottles and tools that can double as weapons are very, very popular... For laundry, they get to toss the dirty laundry down the stairs. My DH or I try to walk in their way so they can "bomb" us with the clothes ... hilarious for them. every. time. :lol:

No big deal, banana peel! (mantra I say to the kids) and Try harder. (mantra I say to myself)

So sorry. :grouphug: Sadly, my mother has pretty much identical crazy as yours does, and it is not pleasant for anyone. I do keep in marginal contact with my mother, but only to make sure she isn't abusing or extorting money from my grandmother or my sisters (literally). Long story short, I would send her an email response saying, "Since it is [insert lame excuse -- I'd go with "summer"], we are never near the phone. Let's email, and then I will be sure to get your message." Then, something to let her talk about herself... "The vacations sound great! Tell me more!" At least for my darling mother, the opportunity to talk about oneself is irresistible. Follow on with a "The kids are doing great; we're so looking forward to spending time outside." If you're feeling generous, attach a fuzzy photo. I have written the same email for the past 10 years, and it seems to work for her. If/when the promotion is finalized, tell her that hubby is changing jobs and it will be a bit before you are settled... then disappear if you can swing it. Good luck, whatever you decide. It's a tough, tough road. :grouphug:

My go-to recipe is pretty simple: 1 c lentils (dry) 1 c rice (whatever kind is fine) 1 large onion salt, pepper, cumin, garlic Cook the lentils in water until done. Cook the rice in another pan until done (cooking times vary on the rice you use, of course). While the lentils and rice are cooking, slice the onion thinly and caramelize it (it is easiest if you have some oil to cook it in, otherwise, cook it slowly with a bit of honey or other sweetener and some water). Mix the lentils and rice when they are done, add seasoning. Caramelized onion on the top. Yum. Or Mexican: 1 can black beans 1 can diced tomatoes (or dice them yourself, either way) 1 onion, diced / some garlic, diced / or both sweet potato, corn, peppers, or other veggies (if you have them) rice, cooked Saute the onion/garlic for a few moments. Add any veggies, if you have them, and let cook until fork-tender. Add the black beans and tomatoes. Heat thoroughly and season. Serve over rice.

Definitely check out the John Day Fossil Beds, if you have any interest in fossils. The Painted Hills Unit is amazing. The Clarno Unit of the John Day Fossil Beds is about 20 miles from Fossil. We spent four days in Fossil, and it was excellent. I would also highly recommend fossil hunting behind Wheeler High School in Fossil. We were there for five minutes and had a pocketful of excellent fossils (which is legal, happily enough).

My dh uses the table saw. He cut off the binding of three large books in about five minutes. The cuts are clean and even. Or any office supply store can cut off the bindings relatively quickly and inexpensively.

This recipe is delicious. 1 - 15 oz can of canned pumpkin 1 box MoriNu silken tofu 1/4 c maple syrup (or agave) 1/4 c brown sugar 2 t pumpkin pie spice 1/8 t salt 1/2 t vanilla Whirl in a food processor until smooth. Taste and adjust flavorings if needed.

Thanks so much for all of the input. It provides a ton of food for thought. We have tried the assisted/group living route many, many times. We've found some lovely ones, but she always balks at the last minute. I think it is probably part of her "drama" story. We did have a power of attorney for healthcare, but she revoked it. We've also looked into guardianship. Unfortunately, it is pretty expensive even if the guardianship is uncontested. If it is contested, it is cost prohibitive for us. We're at the point where she would contest the guardianship. She has no assets. Really. When she moved in with Sister4, she had the clothes on her back. In any case, I think it's family meeting time, and then we'll see if we can navigate this <again>. I'm so glad that this will never happen to my kids. Never!

My mother is what I would call a tad difficult. To summarize things succinctly: she is under 60, in poor physical health (heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, replaced knees and hips, etc) and mental health (narcissistic, passive aggressive, completely devoid of executive function). She’s also addicted to prescription painkillers and the internet. She is unable to work, and is on disability. She is unable to manage her small disability checks and my siblings and I have sporadically financially assisted her since I was 18. She is divorced, blessedly. Repeatedly, we have “caught†mother asking each of us simultaneously to pay for the same bill (and then she went and purchased “fun†items with the excess money). My siblings and I are all united in dealing with mother, and support each other in our dealings with her (one speaks for all). Each time one of us interacts with mother, we email/text/call the others to make sure that things are OK, etc. It is exhausting but necessary, as she loves to pit one against another. With our extended family (she has siblings and parents still alive), she repeatedly attached herself to one person, isolated them from us (my siblings and I), and then taken money from them. They eventually catch on, and then start talking to us again, and then distance themselves from her. She is always the victim; we are always bad (repeat, repeat, repeat). Well, she currently lives in the same city as Sister4, who is married and has two children under three. Mother has been horrible to her (which was unfortunately not unexpected), and Sister4 has begun the process of distancing herself. Mother has indicated that she is moving out of Sister4’s house at the end of the week, but has nowhere to go and is “likely moving out of state." To be very honest, Mother has run through every family member, and there is no one left for her to latch onto. She realizes she is in trouble, and is now reaching out to me again in the past two days. Our conversation today was gut-wrenching, in that she truly does not understand why it is so difficult for us to deal with her (she has the mental capacity of a 12 year old, per one psych test). She is in the “poor me†stage and keeps asking why Sister4 (and all of her children) avoid her. She just wants to have “great relationships with all her children†but can’t understand why it doesn’t work out. At this point, she has no one. She cannot live on her own, but refuses to live in a group home or even assisted living. She cannot live with any of my other siblings due to various life circumstances, and the fact that she is verbally abusive and, well, crazy. Even if I could put up with the drama, my youngest child has health issues such that it isn’t safe for them to be in the same room. The problem is, I don’t know what to do with her. She says she wants to take care of herself, but she is incompetent to do so. She lives half-way across the country. Sadly, I just don't want to have to deal with her any longer. I am wondering what I should do, quite frankly. Do I, as a daughter, have an obligation to try to do something, solely because she gave me life? Do I try to send money once a month and just pretend that’s enough? My husband is opposed to that option, which I respect. Does a person have a moral obligation to help someone that they are related to, simply due to a genetic/blood relationship? I apologize. This is long, and rambling, and probably discloses too much information. I’m just at the end of my problem solving abilities and am interested in what the Hive might, in its collective wisdom, have to throw out. :confused:

I put my husband's retired socks (holes and whatnot) on each of my precious children's hands, arm them with homemade dusting polish in squirt bottles, and let them go to town. The kids are six and just-turned-three. They are very... enthusiastic! The dusting mostly gets done. And I get a few minutes to do other cleaning. It's better to give each one their own room to do, so we don't have fights break out over who "gets" to do what... :lol:

My DS2 has a brain tumor. We went through months and months of diagnostic crap and although it was an emotional nightmare, our Kaiser doctor was beyond amazing. She referred us appropriately at every turn. Once we received the diagnosis, they have also been amazing. During DS2's tumor surgery, his pediatrician sat with us for three of the six hour surgery. Just sat there. We have had weekly chemotherapy treatments for a year, and they've been great. For DS6, who needed feeding clinic, they were amazing. I think for mental health issues, though, that they probably aren't equipped to do everything. That's one area where we've been disappointed. I guess with big organizations, you just need to be persistent in finding the right care. If someone says no, figure out something else. Approach it from a different perspective. I don't know about preexisting conditions, but that is part of the new healthcare law. You would want to maybe do some research on the topic.

Hummus (any bean) with fresh veggies and pita to dip (that's the whole meal). ________________ Lentil and rice salad 1 c lentils (cooked) 1 c rice (cooked) 1 large carrot, diced fine 1/4 red onion, diced fine and soaked in ice water for 20 minutes 4 mint leaves, cut into fine ribbons 1/4 c champagne vinaigrette (but really, to your taste) Mix gently, and chill before serving * a little goat cheese crumbled on top of this is amazing... ________________ Black bean salad (like this: http://www.food.com/recipe/black-bean-and-sweet-potato-salad-306507)

This isn't a very interesting guess, but I had the exact same issue a few weeks back. I was severely dehydrated due to a bunch of wacky issues. In any case, once I was re-hydrated, my joints felt better and the swelling went down.

Thanks so much for the ideas! I think this summer will be pretty fun, with all your help. I'm going to try to pull together a "spy curriculum" of codes, secret messages, and books. I also stumbled upon something called geocaching when I was googling for additional ideas. That seems like it would be right up DS6's alley, as there are hidden clues and codes associated with it.

My DS6 is obsessed with spies and spying. He doesn't know much about it, but he likes the thought, if you know what I mean. I hate to say it, but his obsession provides me with tremendous leverage and a way to get school done. For example, "A, logic is important for spies, let's do a page in your Logic book." Or "A, spies need to be excellent readers, why don't you read an extra book..." DS6 has asked that we do "spy school" this summer instead of our same old schooling. :001_huh: Apparently, I need to dust off some spy movies because I'm just not clicking with any other ideas on how to tie spying/sleuthing into our day. I was wondering if anyone has ideas as to spying activities or educational tie-ins? It will be in the summer so we have some flexibility, but I need some inspiration (or coffee)... Thanks, Melissa