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Found 11 results

  1. My mother tracked down Wolf's # and called him at work today. Psychotic, sociopathic wench from H*ll. He let it go to vm. The deal was, I'd deal w/her. I asked him to just let me deal w/it. Now she's crossed the line, and Wolf's been told that he has free reign to deal w/her if she calls him at work again. I see a ph# change happening after the long wknd. I do NOT want to write her a p!ss off and leave me alone letter. It'll add fuel to her fire, give her something to focus in on. I'm still hoping that something will come up to distract her. I give any indication that she's upset me, or prompted me to break my silence, and she'll just redouble her efforts. You know...I *predicted* she would do this. So why am I still stunned by it?! If anger were jet fuel, I'd be able to visit several WTM members right now...or at least fly over their state!
  2. MIL sent another one of her pkgs. As usual, consists of pages cut out of magazines, old calendar pages, etc. And a CD titled, "Everybody Needs Good Manners!" :001_huh: The note accompanying it states that she got the cd for free, and we can always use reminders when it comes to manners. This ranks up there w/her sending Tazzie a dvd when he was 3? 4? w/The Demoniac Boy on it...rated 12+...after she'd just spent her visit complaining about Tazzie's behaviour the entire time. (He wouldn't sit still and listen to story after story after story for her). *headdesk*
  3. :rant: Unless I've either married you, or birthed you, I am not responsible for you. I'm not accountable to you. I make my decisions based on what is best for my family. Ftr, that means Wolf, the kids, and I. So, give up thinking that I/we need to change our decisions for your benefit. Quit thinking that you can guilt us into doing what you want by whining that your feelings are hurt, b/c you aren't at the centre of our decision making process. Frankly, you're not even on the radar when we make our decisions. We don't do things b/c of you, or in spite of you. We do them b/c they're best for our family. So just get over yourself already. :rant:
  4. My mom has now called a total of 4x that I haven't responded (2x last mth, 2x in the last wk). And emailed once. I read the email, and listen to the msgs, b/c as I've mentioned before, she meets 5 of 7 criteria to be a sociopath, and I consider her dangerous. She's across country which certainly *does* create a buffer zone, she can't just show up on my doorstep w/out a lot of effort and spending $$, which I don't *think* she would consider me important enough to do...but then again, I've never told her no before. She's getting some p!ssed, according to the vm. Her tone of voice has my stomach doing flips. "This is the THIRD time I've called you, you NEED to call me back!" "Call me back asap!" etc. Trust me, it's the tone, not just the words. I *really* don't want to write her a leave us the heck alone letter b/c it will just cause h@ll to rain down on me...but at the same time, how bad is this going to get? Would it really get worse if I write her a letter, or is it going to get that bad regardless? W/Wolf up for a promo at work, I just really don't want to have to deal w/her right now. I just don't know what I should do. I feel like I'm caught btwn the devil and the deep blue sea...and I'm bleeding and there's sharks in them there waters. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised to find police at my door one day soon if I don't answer her call. And/or CPS.
  5. I posted about a month ago re: my situation w/my mom, and that I'd finally had to face up to the fact that it's simply not possible to have any sort of healthy, positive relationship w/her. To give you an idea, according to the DSM IV, there's 7 criteria to be dx'd as a sociopath. (I'm just looking at the behaviours, not stuff like age). To be dx'd, a person needs only 3. She has 5. And those 5 are the ones that I've personally witnessed, on more than one occasion, not an 'off day' or my misinterpreting or being too sensitive, or whatever. So when I say that it's not possible to have a healthy relationship, I truly mean that in a clinical sense. Anyways. Hadn't heard from her since last month. I suspected that she was busy being entertained elsewhere and hadn't noticed that she hadn't heard from me...and I wasn't about to stick my head out of the foxhole to get shot at by sending her a 'leave me and mine alone' email. Got an email last night. Other than babbling about some trips I have no clue about like I helped her plan them :confused: she takes me to task for not having returned her call in May, then states, "I'll call you again (and again) until I get in touch with you." At first, I inserted an 'LOL' in there. By that I mean, I thought I'd read that SHE put an 'lol' in there...but on rereading, nope. Which explained why I felt so anxious. I know to someone just reading it, it doesn't sound like a big deal...but this is the kind of thing she's pulled before...complete w/glare, venomous tone...it's a threat, and also a demand for me to do as she wants, or she'll make me. As a kid, it was terrifying, and you complied, instantly. I intend to continue to ignore, but sooner or later she'll be harrassing the living daylights out of me, and I'll have to send her an email telling her to cease and desist, or I'll pursue harrassment charges. Yee freaking haw.
  6. I've been away for a bit. I've had to figure out some things in regards to family issues. Wolf, the kids and I are fine, no worries there. It's to do w/my mother. I've mentioned here before that I believe she's NPD, and that I've had a difficult relationship w/her all my life. Physical abuse growing up, many issues as an adult. I agreed to allow her and my Dad to establish more of a relationship w/my kids 2 yrs ago. At that point, she'd seen Tazzie once as an infant, neither of them had met Princess at all. I told them both at the time that it wasn't about how Wolf and I felt, or about how they felt, but about what was best for my kids...and if my kids could have gparents that loved them, were involved w/their lives, then I wasn't going to deny them that. Here's where the problem begins. My mother has a habit of either she's the most attentive, most interested person ever, making me think that wow, we could really have a good relationship, or we cease to exist. Completely. There's no inbetween. I called her on Tazzie's birthday, b/c she hadn't called him. First, she tells me that it's NOT his birthday. :001_huh: Then, after I insist, she replies, "Oh. So it is." and says she'll call back, she's on the other line. In that call, she was told about Wolf being up for the new job. I've realized several things about that call since. One, she never remembers any of my kids birthdays. I have to call and prompt her to talk to them and wish them a happy birthday. Two, she never once called to find out how the job process was going, if he got the job, etc. I left 4 different msgs for her, and she ignored them all. I had folks HERE posting and asking if we'd heard anything, but complete silence from her. After we moved, I deliberately waited a few wks before calling her. I wanted to see if she'd bother to call and find out how our move went. I mean, disabled dd, 4 kids, one an infant, moving over 5 hrs...wouldn't you think that you'd be wondering, worrying, something? Nope. I've also realized she's called a grand total of 4 times this yr. 3 of which were prompted by me either leaving msgs or email. She's simply not emotionally invested in a relationship w/my kids. I used to think it was just the distance, but I've known other families that are far apart, and gparents put in effort. They call regularily, they mail, they Skype. I found out my mom had Skype for YEARS before I'd downloaded it, but never once suggested skyping w/the kids. She bragged about using it w/her internet friends, but when I asked her to Skype w/the kids, she came up w/excuse after excuse why it wouldn't work. The kids are noticing. They've asked why she doesn't bother w/them. Tazzie wanted to know if he'd done something wrong, if she was mad at him. I've decided, after much prayer, that it ends now. I tried to build more of a relationship w/them for my kids sake, but I can't force them to care. I can't make them be decent, normal gparents...and I will not allow them to hurt my kids. It's going to suck. My mother will throw a tantrum to end all tantrums, and it won't surprise me in the slightest if she decides to call CPS on us...simply to hurt and cause trouble. I also wouldn't be surprised if she manipulates my brother the police officer into doing so on her behalf as well. I'm not looking forward to dealing w/whatever sh!tstorm she brews up, and there WILL be one. I just can't allow the fear of what she'll do control my decisions, or prevent me from doing what's best for my kids. This relationship simply isn't emotionally healthy for them.
  7. I just saw this article about psychopaths, and it made me think of the thread last week about the hateful little girl. I like how the researchers distinguish between "hot-headed" and "cold-hearted." http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2141160/Born-bad-Rapists-psychopathic-murderers-physically-different-brains-normal-people.html
  8. There's a girl in Hobbes' class who gave him a hard time when he first went to school. She (let's call her 'Jez') deliberately did things to get him into trouble (told him rude words to say to the teacher, suggested short cuts through the girls' changing rooms, told lies to teacher about him...). We told the school and it was sorted out - Jez has a record of doing things like this, so the headmaster talked to her and her parents, and it stopped. H and she dislike each other but ignore each other. One day I was in the class and I saw her in action. One other girl had a pretty paper bag with her (not sure what was in it) and Jez walked up to her, looked her straight in the eye, and ripped the bag from top to bottom. The look in her eye was the best illustration of 'malevolent' that I had ever seen. The other girl was just minding her own business. Having seen her in action, I don't think she is someone with poor impulse control, a need for attention, excess energy, misdirected sense of fun..... She's just horrible. She's the queen bee of the class - the other girls don't dare go against her. Her parents seem loving to her, although not friendly to the other parents. Where does this kind of child come from? Is it something that good parents struggle with? For the record: my children are not angels. They do the wrong thing, make mistakes, get cheeky, push the limits...... But I've not seen malevolence in their eyes. Laura
  9. Well, I still haven't had my mom return any calls. I did get a fw'd email from her this am re: St. Patrick's Day, so I know she's around. It's the first I've heard from her in almost a month. She still doesn't know that Wolf got the job, and that we're moving. I was doing an email up for my friends this am, letting them know that we may not have internet, and w/our addy and ph#. So, I bcc'd her on it. I figure if she can bcc me on an email to her friends to tell me my Nan died, finding out I'm moving the same way, when she can't be bothered to return ph calls is fair. She's going to be furious about it. I realize that it was passive aggressive on my part to do it this way, but she's shown 0 interest in what's going on w/us, at this point, I wasn't sure if I was going to bother telling her we're moving at all.
  10. Oy. Tazzie's 7th birthday yesterday. I called my mother before we went out for dinner, since we hadn't heard from them. She was busy...asks, "What's up?" "Uh...Tazzie's birthday?" She forgot. Niiiiiiice. She mentioned it when she was on the phone w/me on Sunday. But forgot by Wed. Ok then. She called back later. We deliberately hadn't told either of our mothers about the job situation. Frankly, we don't need the stress of dealing w/their opinions, pov, etc. Tazzie, however... So, I ended up having to explain, since he let the cat outta the bag. I'm just waiting for the phone call, once my mother realizes this job means that we won't EVER be moving back to my home province. We'd already made that decision in the last cpl of months, but not something we were going to announce, "We're never moving, b/c the idea of being that close to you makes our collective skin crawl...across country, 1 visit a year, is good for us" :lol: Ugh. So not looking forward to it...and yeah, I know my mom well enough to know that the call *will* come...blech.
  11. Since reading this website, I've been thinking a LOT about NPD, and having been raised by a mother I really believe has it. So, to others with experience with NPD, how have you managed? Have you healed? Is the person still in your life? Do you wake up in a cold sweat sometimes, wondering if you have NPD? Or wake up from a nightmare where you're once again living under the same roof, without any hope of escape? How do you deal w/ppl that tell you 'she can't be THAT bad...' or other invalidating comments? How do *you* cope?
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