My divorce was finalized in October, he married a week later. The kids are with their dad today and tomorrow til 12pm. I have cleaned the house and organized toy bins, making room for new toys. I Did a few loads of laundry, plus I went through and put some clothes in a give-away bin that no longer fit anyone. I baked a tray of brownies and ate some. I vacuumed, swept and mopped. I played Youtube videos like Stronger and Mr. Know it All and sang real loud. :blush: I cried for a few minutes when I got a nasty email from him telling me he's taking me back to court because his new wife's kids are smarter than mine and he wants them in school. I avoided my mom calling because she too gets more emotional than me and keeps telling me she's not surprised because he always was a jerk. Thanks, but it doesn't help. I may take a hot bath and read a good book. If the kids were home I'd play games with them and watch Home Alone or Christmas Story. Everyone says it gets better, but I'm still waiting. I joined a gym last month and that has been a good outlet. So, my friends dragged me out last weekend for the first time. I got hit on by a Russian man. He called the next day and wanted to take me to the woods hiking. I told him he made me uncomfortable and not to call again. It was good for a laugh though. My best advice is cry as much as you want now, just let it all out.

I think a selection from the following: Tolstoy Dickens Jane Austen Bronte- either sister Orwell Conrad Victor Hugo Duma Nathaniel Hawthorne Shakespeare Mark Twain Homer John Steinbeck F. Scott Fitzgerald

Find a topic that interests your son and go looking through the nonfiction section of the library. Mine has a huge children's section. My ds8 loves animals and dinosaurs. He actually chooses to watch educational shows on Netflix. My ds12 likes to read books about Wars and baseball.

If I use bag tea I buy Twinings. We drink Irish Breakfast, Earl Grey and Dajeeling. I also really like 4 Red Fruits. I used to use the ball strainer for loose tea, but I thought it was messy. I recently found this: http://www.teavana.com/tea-products/tea-makers-infusers/p/teavana-perfect-teamaker I really love it! I have gotten loose tea from here: http://www.mountainroseherbs.com/ I prefer black teas myself. I recently got a yummy black tea infused with dried apricots. It gave it a lovely smell. I add cream/ sugar to plain black tea, but just honey to the fruit based ones.

I sent MIL a nice email saying she could meet the kids and I for dinner on Wednesday night and that we also would be available Thursday morning of Thanksgiving day from 9-11. I told her I didn't feel comfortable with her taking the kids off and I would not allow it. I ended it saying that we did hope to see her. She responded and said that it wasn't fair because I allowed my mother to take my kids all the time and she was sure that she loved them more than my mom. She said she did not appreciate the fact that I was putting conditions on her being allowed to see the kids, and it bothered her that she was driving 17 hours to only see them when I said she could. She felt that she was driving that far I should skip my family Thanksgiving to allow her the time she wanted. She also informed me how excited my oldest son was that she was coming. She finally said it wasn't fair because her son would make sure that his dad (her ex that she hates) would always see the kids. He was keeping the kids from her just to hurt her she thought. I responded and told her if she wanted to see the grandkids ever she now needed to go through her son. Just one simple line. Thanks for all the advice. I am really glad that I tried to be nice though. She proved herself there.

:grouphug: I'm so sorry I know exactly how you feel. Mine dragged it on for a year. He went to counseling, but didn't bother trying. I am a rip the bandaid right off kind of girl. I'd rather not ease it off, it's like slow torture. I don't regret fighting to save my marriage though. I did it for God and for myself. I loved him unconditionally and forgave all. I begged and pleaded for him to give us a chance, but he didn't want to. It really has transformed me and changed me more like Christ. That is our purpose in life to become more Christ-like. Above all love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. 2nd love your neighbors. I learned to love someone who was unlovable. I learned to love even the girl. She sat across from me on the pew every Sunday. I learned also how much I am worth in God's eyes. You are lovely and perfect when God looks at you. You are worthy. God sent His son to die just for you because He loves you that much. Let GOd's love fill that whole inside you due to this pain. God blessed me with the oppurtunity to have an awesome testimony for Him. The scripture that God gave me is 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 . Just know that no matter what God has good planned for you. When you can't remember that pray for God to give you the belief. Remember the man who said, " I do believe; Lord help my unbelief." Mark 9:24 He has provided for me in everyway. I am not in want of anything. He will provide all for you as well. I'll be praying for you.

Well, I am new to it all but I think it is just time management. . I think anyone can do something if they really want to. If I keep up on the cleaning everyday it won't get overwhelming. There are 24 hours in day. I am gone 8 hours to class on T/W. I will be gone 10 hours every other Th/F. That still leaves lots of hours in a day. I sleep 6-7 hours. On the weekends I try to make freezer meals to last all week. A lot of times we get Pizza on Fridays. I am so used to the kids always being with me, and me always having to do everything. I think it would be much harder if your dh helped a whole lot with the kids and house, and then he suddenly was gone.

I saw that Timberdoodle has this: http://www.timberdoodle.com/Snap_Circuits_Light_p/125-139.htm

The kids each have toys in their bedrooms. I have a bin I keep under the entertainment center in the livingroom for stray toys. These sometimes stay there for a month, but it is a small amount. I also have 1 bin down in the schoolroom for my youngers. Whatever you prefer is what works best. If you don't mind it everywhere, let it be.

It is super similar to German Chocolate cake IMO. No red food dye and different icings, but the cake is a lot alike.

My favorite is DK encyclopedia of Animals. I really didn't care for the writing style of Kingfisher's encyclo.

He had an affair. I was willing to forgive all and we did go to counseling, but he decided he could not forgive me for not keeping the house clean and making him work 2 jobs. Neither one of those statements are true. Most likely he is still with the girl, but it could be he just didn't want to clean up the mess he made. He filed this past March. I told him to leave at the end of April. He is staying at a male friend's house (a bachelor pad) and I did not want the kids over there for long periods of time. Dh stays here at the house while I am at school to make it easier on the kids. I am going to insist when he gets a place that he keep them there. Another issue may arise because he cannot keep the kids overnight if there is a female staying overnight too. It is a morality clause that I put into our divorce papers. Due to our county law, we could not go to court until June because we had had relations up to March. We also can only get an uncontested divorce in our county on the 2nd Tuesday of the month. :001_smile: June fell too short of the time period of 90 days and the judge insisted 2 days mattered. In July all the papers between both lawyers mysteriously disappeared. Neither one could find a copy. In August dh decided to make a last minute change and my lawyer ran for judge. So now maybe we will get divorced September 11th. I feel that day is fitting.

Thank you, this is a really good idea!

I guess I would start by taking inventory of what I have and then going through cookbooks for ideas. I also have several food websites I like. Always keep in mind you can interchange some ingredients.

Well, let me give my experience as an example. I played rec. league soccer until high school. Nothing serious at all. My high school was #1 for girl's team in the state of Texas. My freshman year I made JV, they didn't allow us on Varsity. I was first string though and never benched. I attended the Tar Heels Summer Camp that year. Next year, 10th grade, I made it onto the Varsity team. I was the sweeper. Again, I never was benched. That summer I got invited to camp at West Point. I got several offers to play at various colleges. If you have talent, then you are that kid who is in his backyard playing all hours. I used to dribble a ball around my backyard every night. I learned the most from those summer camps. It was intensive and great, but I didn't forget it when I went back to a regular school team.

Thanks, I so don't feel this way though. I want to crawl up in a hole and quit everything. This isn't the life I planned or wanted. I couldn't do that to my kids though; it's what keeps me going. I keep telling myself Nursing school is only 1 1/2 years. Surely I can do it for just that long. People keep telling me the pain goes away....still waiting. I feel like this song: Well, staying busy helps for me. :001_smile:

I hate confrontation and only do it when I must. If it involves the kids I have to, but I will allow myself to be run over and used to avoid it. It usually reaches a point where I just start avoiding the person rather than confront. I just want to be nice to everyone. I wish people didn't take advantage.

An example of Tuesday's schedule: 6:30 get up and shower. Have quiet time with my bible. 7:15 eat breakfast and empty the dishwasher 7:30 Leave to drive in traffic til 8:45. Attend Nursing classes 9am-3pm Drive 40 minutes home. Catch up on kid's day and go over schoolwork Start dinner while I talk on the phone to a friend and throw in a load of laundry 5pm eat dinner with the kids 5:30 clean up and chores (switch out laundry) 6:30 read books with the kids or play game 7:30-8:30 outside time with kids Supervise baths for ds8 and dd4 9pm tuck in dd4 with bedtime routine and then read Peter Pan to ds8 9:40 Get on the computer and work on my college classes grab the laundry fold and put away start the dishwasher 11pm Read a book til I fall asleep around 12:30

My ds12 has played baseball year round since he was 7. He loves it! He is a great catcher, but is not challenged at all in the local rec. league. I did not go for Travel Ball because I am not willing to drag my 3 kids around the state to watch ds12 play. I will drag them down the street. It is not fair for the others to spend so much time in car trips and sitting there. I also feel he gets more time on the field in rec. league. He would be benched a lot on a travel team maybe. He never sits out in the rec. league. A third reason was if he is good enough he can be recruited through college ball and not have to spend all this time and money on travel ball.

You all were helpful for the MIL problem. I have another problem with dh and homeschooling. I am in Nursing School. Week 1 T/W from 7:30-3. This includes driving time. Week2 T/W 7:30-3 and TH/F 6am-4pm. I am a fast learner and am used to studying after dd4 goes to bed, about 9pm. Over the summer dh agreed to homeschool them for me on T/W. Last week was the first week and it went awful. DH thought homeschooling was going to be super easy. He thought I sat on my hiney and did nothing the last 6 years.:D Day 1 went good, but day 2 was a mess. Instead of admitting he had a hard time; he decided it was my fault. He says that ds8 cannot read and spell as well as a 3rd grader ought. He is about 6 months behind on reading, but this is due to dyslexia. He has been diagnosed. Last January he was not reading at all, so I consider this to be a huge improvement. DH isn't impressed and feels they should be smarter. He also complained about ds12's handwriting. His y, g. and p do not touch the bottom line. This is not a hill worth dying on IMO. Ds12 told me that ds8 goofed off and cried for 3 hours about his math. He then refused to read the book assigned. Dh is not very patient and feels they should know what he knows. My options now are: 1. Get the kids up at 5am and school them til 7:30, leaving easier subjects for Dh to do. 2. Do school at night. This would be a little difficult with ds12, but nice with ds8 3. Let dh keep doing it, and have a stern talk with ds8 about doing his best work instead of playing and crying. 4. Do school on Sat/Sunday/Mondays every week and add Thursday/Friday every other week. On weeks when I am gone Th/F do 2 days on evening school. Thanks!!

Thanks, I like this idea. It might be more comfortable to meet somewhere else. I never would allow her to take them off without me too.

I never planned to let her have them. I just wanted to see if I am mean for refusing to let her come now. I have told him she is calling. He is ok with that if I want to deal with her, he just refuses to talk to her himself. He tells me it's a waste of my time.

Thanks, this is lovely. My parents live across the road and we have always done Thanksgiving with them. My MIL hates my mother so I would have to arrange my day around still seeing my parents and the kids seeing their dad after 6pm. My mother would throw a fit if I miss her Thanksgiving. In reality, I am stuck with a bunch of selfish people. I am not sure what boundaries to instill, but still be "Christ-like." My parents are helping me a whole lot right now. I could not make it through Nursing School without them. My mom is just very controlling about having everything done her way. She also is insistant that everyone put on a happy face and look perfect, whether you are dying inside or not. My dh is making all the same decisions his mother made and it hurts to see this. I don't want my kids to hate their dad. The best one of the bunch, my FIL, is being a coward right now but I understand. Dh decided that since he left me I cannot talk to his dad. He ordered his dad not to talk to me. I am so glad his dad chose him because dh needed to know that a parent would choose him over anyone else. But, I wish FIL would grow some and tell dh what a selfish jerk he is being. FIL is afraid that dh will no longer speak to him if he doesn't go along with it all. He plainly told me all this. I guess I talked to her because I want to believe people are good. I wanted to believe that MIL truly misses getting to know her grandkids. I thought we might become friends, and she would come have dinner at my house, and it would be nice.

He refuses to talk to her or answer her calls. That's why she started calling me. I get Thanksgiving til 6pm.