Do you have much experience with those who've juggled both? My DH and I have been doing it for years and, while I admit I took off 7-8 years to be a full-time carer, it was reluctantly. Both of my kids were in daycare through age 3/4. None the worse for wear. I am happy that I was able to maintain some semblance of control over my financial/professional future. Most of my dual-income friends are high-income (private schools on the coasts) parents who coach soccer/basketball and remain heavily involved tho so I haven't seen what you have. It seems to me that implicates the quality/affordability of childcare more than the decision-making. I agree 'people' can't have it all and yet many men seem to have it (with extras and extramarital benefits) with ease.

Do you feel that same judgment when their kids are 'successful' by mainstream definitions and/or they have significant retirement accounts to draw upon?

Something in me flipped a switch 10 or so years ago. I was just...DONE.

Oh, man... That time I took off on two weeks notice to go to Puerto Rico with my friends and DH flipped his lid while he travels (and has for two and a half decades) on a few days notice without giving it a second thought (he srsly could have requested leave but it never crossed his mind)? That part.

Everytime someone crooks their lips to call a female military spouse a "dependa" or suggests they find themselves a "Jody", which is weekly (daily if you ask a larger sample). These things mean the woman is a lazy, fat, mooch who does nothing while her spouse works a military job. Doesn't matter if she works, has worked, is working at home with children, is in school... That's misogyny.

WOOT!! #LifeAfterHomeschooling!!

Jives with what I see. Masks haven’t been mandated for over a year. We are very purple. Lots of ‘don’t teach my kids to be LGBTQIA, and God is a white man, manifest destiny is inevitable thinking. It’s driving diverse parents of means away.

In honor of Hispanic heritage month, pupusas and seafood tostadas.

I don't think it's weird. I'll be honest tho, as a military family, DH and I have talked about this and we don't want any of those people around for our most intimate family moments. Graveside, sure, hospital? HELL NO.

I had the exact same visceral (drop everything and speed out of the driveway leaving gaping parent and SIL on the lawn) reaction to my parent showing up unannounced and uninvited at my home at 8a the day oldest graduated.

I am planning to take my dad to homecoming this year since we are playing his Penix-led Huskies. Lord help me if we lose!! Dad's memory may be slipping but he will remember THAT! 🙂

Everyone's hearing is affected by earmuffs and la, la, laaaas! 😂

There’s a certain haze that comes with time. I distinctly remember being annoyed when my peeps threw food. I took it away. Gave it back. They threw it again, they didn’t get it back. I said, OK, woo hoo, you’re done!! I did the same thing when I cared for my niece last year. Hardheaded as she could be, she tried it, I gave her a chance to eat, she chose play. I cleaned up while she yelled and that was it. She no longer throws food. Time/growth resolved it. Baby was testing boundaries but it was ok. I think making a big deal out of it, my upset, would have encouraged the behavior.

I can’t either but I regularly put them aside when DS was grabby while DD (3-4) played nearby. It was a PHASE, a moment in a day, not an excuse to punish my son.

You know, you can just take your glasses off. When my babies reached up, it was no problem for me to do that. Somehow, someway, my 5yo no longer had that urge.

Wriggling during a diaper change is rebellious?? I can’t.

Yeah, I did that too. I also never imposed consequences for failing to behave in ways that benefited me when they (my kids) were understandably and obviously uncomfy.

So, I hear you, and yet I’ve never seen a baby that didn’t at some point reject cold wipes on a warm butt and want to avoid the task. It’s a PHASE, not a flaw. Treating a phase as a flaw I. in need of training seems like a running theme and recipe for disaster. ESPECIALLY for young kids.

I had a kid who HATED ‘pat-pat’ at daycare nap-time and wouldn’t sleep. Rather than let my kid stay awake and rest quietly, corrective measures were employed…hence pat-pat. There was nothing wrong with my kid and everything wrong with the adults who insisted he sleep, on command, according to their preferences. When he started speaking, he clearly said… ‘I don’t like pat-pat. Lee-mee lone.’ I didn’t hear that until Y2 at which time I made it stop. They TELL us who they are, as they are able. We meet their needs, as they appear, as we are able. These ‘training’ measures feel profoundly disrespectful of their humanity/independence.

I have changed wiggly babies. Repeatedly. Even when toddlers are present. I’ve NEVER felt the need to train them to obey or else. That’s sick IMO. If you can’t deal…stop. Know your limits.

No. I’m saying it’s inappropriate to use restrictive/corrective SPED techniques intended for toddlers and youths or adults on **ANY** 12-week old child who doesn’t demonstrate a need for them. The priority for ALL infants, NT/ND is meeting their, specific, needs. That’s it. Unless you have a diagnosis at 12 weeks, impulse control (CONTROL!!) isn’t one if them.

So do I, for kids capable of reasoning. Are infants capable of weighing pros, cons or consequences???

You have no idea at 12 weeks. None.

I don’t try shit other than meeting **needs** with my 12 week old BABIES. I will not excuse abusive foolishness.

12 WEEKS!! WHO TF knows their kid is NT/ND at 12 weeks??