That's weird in my book. We live in a new build, in a new subdivision. We all have our own mailboxes. There are even newer subdivisions going up around us, and I'm pretty darn sure they have their own mailboxes on their own property. But I would assume it's going to be like apartments and mail in your situation. When my mom lived in an apartment, Fed Ex and UPS delivered to her door.

DD16 has had a cell since about age 8, when we needed to drop her off at things like tennis. She was only to have it when she left the house on her own, however. We gave her a smart phone around age 12 or 13, I think. I don't recall many limits. It was subject to random checks and that's about it. She recently turned 16. She still has a smartphone (obviously it's a different one than she had originally) and we did give her an iwatch thing for her birthday. No real rules -- but it's still subject to random checks. ETA: we do have one rule. It's been around since the beginning and applies to adults, too, so I didn't think of it. No phones at the dinner table.

When I was younger, my middle sister and I were involved in competitive gymnastics. All kids in the house (fosters included) were also involved in local soccer teams for the duration of their time in our family, lol. My parents coached for the local teams :P We weren't overly busy, but then my middle sister made the classic soccer teams (I'm not sure what they are called elsewhere, but in my hometown that was the highly competitive travel soccer team) and things got busy. And expensive. We had to drop gymnastics, and since I didn't like soccer, and certainly wasn't good enough for the classic team, I ended up not participating in any activities -- there just wasn't enough time or money to be involved in anything other than the team my sister was on, or a team my parents were coaching, I guess. To be fair, we were lower income and competitive gym is pricey. I strongly dislike the outdoors, so I was uninterested in outdoor activities and much preferred to stay in and read :P

I would go where she would receive help quickly. Here, that's one of our urgent care centers -- but ours can take care of minor broken bones, etc. If they feel you need the ER, they call an ambulance, make some calls, and move that ER process along more quickly. We have great hospitals, but ER wait times can be hours... even for pretty major things, imo.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I really have no idea what anyone can do if the powers-that-be are demanding information that you simply have no access to. And if nobody has access to it, I think the best possible solution is to try to move the process along more quickly to get him under a court-appointed. I completely get not wanting to spend money on this, but it sounds like you're at least slightly invested (due to the fact that you feel concern regarding what you can, and cannot, do in the situation, even while knowing your personal limits). I would be inclined to see if there are any more phone calls you can make, to certain people, to move this along faster. Your relative is NOT the first (or even remotely the "only") elderly person to enter the hospital with no relatives available with information. ETA: the hospital is not the worst place for him to be. I can only speak from very limited personal experience, but in my FIL's case the hospital was far preferable to a nursing home when we got to the point where quality of life was sincerely an issue, and he received excellent care in the hospital.

There are some kids who, because of learning differences, may never be "ready" developmentally. It's why there are 14 year olds who can barely read. And there are some kids who need an approach other than phonics, or alongside phonics. Sincere, The-Mom-Who-Wishes-She'd-Used-a-Blended-Approach vs. pure phonics P.S. we're now starting over entirely with a third grader who isn't reading--at all--despite intensive OG-based phonics instruction; we're deliberately using a blended approach with our five year old, and I'm grateful I taught a blended approach to my now-16 year old dyslexic daughter, long ago. At the moment, our third grader is so miserable with phonics, that any desire he HAD to read is long, long gone, no matter how "fun" I try to make it.

If DD has any inkling at all that a car is coming sometime soon, then her bestie knows, too. And I'm almost positive she does know it's coming at some point (something she said earlier to DH). But, we're trying for surprise -- both in the type of car and in the timing. We don't get to surprise her often, because she literally never asks for anything big-ish specifically, unless we ask her for holiday ideas, and then she already knows what we're getting her :P Even if this isn't a surprise to her, DH thinks it is and has put a lot of time into this, so we'll go with that.

That was literally one or two lines in the entire post. I just went back to re-read the post to check. I very specifically said that I feel it's tacky in general to give large gifts, like this, in front of friends. Any friends. In fact, the bolded question in my initial post asks it generally -- and, as I said, the general question is one I was interested in asking others because it has actually never come up here before, because we don't typically have people over when things like this have occasion to happen. ETA: this kid is like family when she's here. She folds perfectly into our home and our chaos. She even adores and includes DD's much younger special needs' siblings, who aren't alway easy kids. I will readily admit that doing this in front of her, particularly, does leave a bad taste in my mouth -- because I do love her. And I'm not sorry that I'm trying to consider her feelings in this. This doesn't have jack-squat to do with leaving out "the poor friend." I'm not going to pretend like it doesn't matter to me that a kid I care about, a kid we all care about, is going through a tough time and I don't want to add to that in any way. I think others have phrased it in the way I couldn't quite put my finger on. I believe giving a large gift like this in front of the recipient's friends would be tacky in any situation -- but crosses over and into inconsiderate in this situation. And, again, these are just my personal feelings. My husband is a compassionate and kind man and doesn't think it's tacky at all, so I know this is all relative.

We had originally planned it to be when it was just "us" at home. DH just happened into a great deal and it is happening a few weeks sooner than we had planned -- and it just happens to be happening, quickly, over a weekend when we have other things going on (like friends over). I think it's tacky to do this in front of friends in general. I feel that more because I'm particularly fond of this friend and I know her situation, but I wouldn't want any friends here for this. And we aren't hiding it from her friend primarily -- we're hiding it from DD. Because, well, it's a surprise.

Part of it is just knowing DD's personality. She has been so concerned about getting behind the wheel, that she chose to wait well over a year past the age most of her peers were doing it, to even consider it. We're grateful that she knows her own limits. By her nature, she is already very concerned, still a bit nervous, and just finally getting to the point of wanting to try. We do not have ready access to public transit here. Wish we did, though :P It would save my nerves about this, lol.

I understand that everyone has a different opinion RE buying teens cars (which is why I mentioned it specifically in my OP, lol).

I believe she will be listed as a driver on the insurance once she passes the test. She won't have legal ownership of the car until she has her unrestricted or turns 18 (or her and DH decide otherwise).

We can't park the car at DH coworker's indefinitely, though -- or even just for a week. Our HOA has pretty strict rules regarding cars, garages, etc. We'd like to give it as a gift, so if it's here, we need to... gift it. KWIM? We have impressed on DD that it is absolutely okay for her to wait any amount of time to take the test -- it can be taken next week, or in three weeks. She is dyslexic and ADHD and we know not to push her into this until she's ready (which is why she isn't even attempting it until well after her 16th birthday, even though most take it on their 15th birthday-day).

She knows we've had an eye out for a car, but had nothing to do with the buying practice. She may know about it, because we don't always hear her come into the room when we're talking. It is a gift and a surprise. Well, it's supposed to be a surprise.

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To start, this isn't a serious disagreement by any means, and DH was more than willing to defer to me on it -- he just didn't (still doesn't) see it as tacky. DH found a great deal on a very nice car for DD16 (who will test for her permit next week). This isn't really a conversation asking if you ever would or wouldn't buy your kid a car -- I know, from other forums, that particular subject can get heated for a number of reasons. DD has a friend staying with us until Saturday, so that they can attend a homeschool event tomorrow together (friend lives a fair distance from us and most events, so often stays with us for several days, when her and DD do get together). Friend may not be getting a car any time in the near future (or she might; I'm just not sure). To be fair to DH, I can say that I definitely feel this is more tacky because this is DD's very best friend, and I'm more cautious regarding feelings because of that. DH was, initially, going to bring the car home late this weekend, but the person he is purchasing it from has done what needs to be done on his end, and wants DH to take it tonight. I told DH to take it, but park it at his co-worker's house, or his office, until later Saturday, after DD's friend leaves. I personally think it's tacky, period, to give a very large gift (outside of a birthday or similar) in front of a friend -- DH just doesn't see any problem with it at all. Like I said, he shrugged and was fine with deferring to me on it, at the end of the day, but I thought it did pose an interesting question, and one that hasn't come up in our home before, because typically large gifts are reserved for holidays and birthdays. Do you think it's tacky to give large gifts (doesn't need to be a car... any large gift) -- outside of birthdays or holidays -- in front of guests / friends of the recipient?

And I guess this is my main concern with UBI. If a contributing factor within neglect, that is based on poverty, is the inability (of, say, parents) to prioritize where monies go, so the government still needs to take control on such a level that they also give each family an "overseer" who sets up that family's UBI in such a way that shelter, health, and food is paid for consistently from that money, how is it any different than the services we have now? UBI may not be needs' based, but we couldn't provide a social worker to oversee that money distribution to everyone, so that would have to be based on need -- and then it isn't "no strings" money, because (just like food stamps, childcare vouchers, and section 8 vouchers) someone else is deciding where the money goes and when. I was also under the impression that most countries with things similar to a UBI, didn't also have section 8 housing or food stamps or childcare vouchers (at least to the extent that we have them here). Childcare alone would eat up most of that UBI -- and if the parents are still only bringing in, say, 30-40K a year, besides the UBI, then foot costs, clothing, shelter, and healthcare isn't going to be paid for at all. Let's even assume that we throw Universal Healthcare into the mix... what about dental or procedures not covered by a UHC system? For the record, I'm asking because I'm sincerely curious. Although I identify as politically conservative, I'm not actually against a Universal Basic Income... I just don't understand how it's better than the resources we have now, save the obvious headache that goes into getting the services we have now. Again, though, if we throw into the mix the government somehow ensuring that the basics are covered with that UBI, it's no less restrictive than the system we have now. Right?

I help a friend of mine plan dances for our local homeschooled teens. We started a couple years ago and typically do two every year -- a spring dance and a halloween/fall dance. He (my friend) has access to a huge space and he's an epic planner. I'm a good right-hand-man, so it works out, lol. We didn't do one this past spring, but I think we're trying to plan a halloween for this year, albeit last minute. We've had to fine tune a couple things, regarding how we word things, but the dances have been nice. And we've had to realize that we can't please everyone, lol. Somebody will complain, inevitably. For example: we have a professional DJ, a photographer, food and beverages, light machines, decorations, etc. Please do not expect that this is free. It isn't. Far, far from it. Despite charging what we feel is a minimal entrance fee, my friend and I always end up paying for quite a bit out of pocket. But, people do WANT all of these costly extras... some just don't want to pay for it and wonder why it costs :P And we've had to start specifying age -- not grade. Too many homeschoolers are more than happy to tag their much younger kids as "middle school," if we specify "middle school and high school," to get them into a large social event.

My activity book (for volume 1) has a copyright date of 2002. Since it doesn't say revised on the front, I'm assuming it is the first printing. I need additional student pages (three sets total) and I'm assuming the student pages listed on the WTM site are for much more current versions. If you used the first printing of the activity guide, when newer versions were out, did you just take your AG to the copier and copy the entirety of the student pages? How different are the more current versions? If I bought the most current student pages, would it match up to the rest of the AG? To the actual text I have on hand (also first printing, I believe)?

Yes, all kitchen appliances math. They are all stainless steel, I believe. They are not all the same brand, however.

I missed this in the original post somehow. Is he refusing care for his wife? Necessary care?

Not in my experience. We went through EXACTLY this with my FIL (also in his eighties). Money spent on himself was never worthwhile to him. He would gladly give money to a number of charitable organizations, the Church, or any random who came to his door; he gladly gave money to his adult children and spoiled his grandchildren. But decent food for himself? No. We had to strong-arm him into spending money on a new couch when his was literally giving way under his very small 80-pound body. When I say strong-arm, I mean we bought it and had it delivered, and didn't tell him about it until delivery day. Even when he was dying... or, maybe especially when he was dying, he wanted nothing spent on his care. It was very frustrating. To be fair, he was fairly happy living the lifestyle he lived -- he enjoyed his cheap cheerios, boxed mashed potatoes, and eggs. And toast with coffee or tea in the morning. I don't think it would have been fair for us to try to change the things in life that made him happy -- not at that point in his life. We drew the line carefully when we had to, and reserved that line only for when it was an immediate and serious comfort concern. When he didn't want to spend the money on cockroaches, we drew the line and hired somebody to come out, regardless of that he just wanted us to let the bugs be; when he couldn't get upstairs to the toilet, and was having accidents (and sitting in those accidents), we made the calls for a portable toilet to be brought in; etc. At the stage of life he was in, nothing good would come out of requiring he eat healthier or use better quality toilet paper. It would have only made him sad, because he wanted familiarity.

My grandparents lived in the keys for a long, long time. They always refused evacuation. It was long before skype, lol. They were told more times than I could could that the keys "going under this time." I think the hard and fast of it was, for them, that they honestly would have preferred to go out with everything they had worked so hard for, than to leave/evacuate and come back to nothing.

I hate duvet covers with a passion I can't fully express. :P The kids are all over these comforters, all day. They definitely need to be washed... more than once a month, lol.

I've looked at online "buyers' guides," but according to them, a typical washing machine can -- albeit, barely -- fit a king-size comforter. I have standard-size in my current washer and dryer, and the washer absolutely cannot fit our king comforters, or even my daughter's very fluffy queen-size comforter. At least, not without the fit being so tight I can't imagine it actually being able to move and cleaned in there. So, today I went to the laundromat, thinking that if I had to go once monthly to wash comforters, no big deal. But their standard size washers couldn't really fit a comforter safely. I mean, I was able to PACK that sucker in there, but I wasn't comfortable with the fit at all (way, way tight), so I took it out and went in search of another washer at the same laundromat. They had one. Yay! But each load cost 6.50, just to wash (another 4 or 5 to dry, I guess). At the end of the day, I decided to leave the comforters with the office and pay them $15/each to wash and dry, because it was going to cost me not much less than that to do it myself, sitting there for two hours with three kids. Assuming these comforters should be washed more than once monthly, it makes very little sense -- long term -- not to just buy larger appliances. We love, love, love comfortable blankets and oversized comforters, duvet covers, etc. in this house. Do you have a favorite larger washing machine?