Not really in my everyday life, but last month I took the kids to NYC and I'll admit that I had a few "What if" thoughts when we were in Times Square, on the Staten Island Ferry, and other more crowded touristy areas.

I am really enjoying Heavyweight right now.

Climbing team- $75/each (both) Piano lessons- $12/lesson (both) Waldorf class- $25/class (only the youngest) Nature School- $50/month (only the youngest) Foreign language tutor- $30/month (only the youngest) So that works out to be $351/month right now which is actually much less than I've spent in the past, but I have one child now in public school so he doesn't have as many outside classes/activities as he did when he was still at home. Even when money is tight I've always been willing to pick up extra shifts at work, find random stuff around the house to Craigslist or eBay, and even drove for Uber a little bit last year to cover the cost of these extras for the kids because they're all things that I feel strongly about wanting to be able to provide for them.

You can get HelloFresh in the mall?!

My oldest wanted to start school this year and at his age (13) I really felt like he should have a say in his schooling, so we let him go off to middle school. Trying to force a teenager to stay home against his will just sounds like a recipe for disaster, IMO. I'll admit, however, that it was hard for me to let go and to not take it as some sort of personal rejection. I hear so many horror stories about middle school, but I have to say, he is absolutely thriving in school. He's eager to go every single day. He primarily wanted to go for social reasons- he'd had individual friends his entire life, but they weren't friends who all knew each other or did things together. More than anything he just wanted to feel like he belonged to a group. He found his group on the very first day of school when some other kids invited him to sit with them and he's happier than he's been in years. Even though we belonged to multiple groups when he was homeschooled from K-6 he just never really found his niche, his people. For years we watched all of the other homeschoolers we know group together with other families to form small co-ops and classes, but despite being very active in the local homeschooling community we just never really were able to make those types of connections with others. He never felt like there were other homeschoolers who had similar likes and interests, but he once he started school he found exactly what he had been craving for so long. Academically he's doing well, and I'm satisfied with the level of work he is completing. I very much appreciate that his school puts a big emphasis on the arts, so he has some form of theater, music or art daily. I also find it quite refreshing that in place of PE middle schoolers get 30 minutes of outdoor recess everyday to run around and blow off steam. Having to give up a little bit of our freedom and flexibility hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be either since he just had a two week fall break, is about to have one week off for Thanksgiving, then will have two weeks again at Christmas and for spring break. The school will also allow parents to apply for a period of short-term independent study ranging from one to four weeks to allow for travel or other educational opportunities, and it is not counted as an absence at all as long as the child completes the negotiated terms of the independent study. It was hard for me to let go, but now that we're a few months in I can see that school has really been able to provide ds with something I just couldn't replicate at home no matter how many activities and classes I signed him up for. All kids' needs are different, and for mine, school has really satisfied a need that we hadn't been able to fulfill as homeschoolers. I wouldn't just automatically write school off: homeschooling is a great option for some kids (I still have one at home) but traditional school can be a fantastic fit for others.

When I got my first apartment I quickly realized just how much all of the little stuff adds up. I had hand-me-down furniture, but every single day it seemed like I was discovering more things that I needed and even though they were (mostly) small purchases they added up quickly, and I ended up broke. Even if your daughter isn't into cooking she's going to need a way to feed herself, even if it's just warming up leftover carry-out, making simple sandwiches, bowls of cereal, preparing a frozen pizza, etc. Some of the things I remember needing: dishes silverware dish strainer towels and dishclothes cookware can openers and other random spatulas, spoons, etc. cutting board knives basic bakeware (a cookie sheet, a baking dish, etc.) measuring cups/spoons something to hold silverware laundry hamper vacuum cleaner broom and dustpan basic cleaners mop bucket trash cans for bathroom and kitchen basic tools (screwdrivers, hammer, measuring tape, etc.) towels shower curtain/liner bath mat toilet bowl brush lamps clothes hangers

My son got an iPhone for his 12th birthday. The phone itself was under $100 and it really didn't raise our monthly bill much. As a homeschooler, having a phone was one way he had of staying in touch socially with friends who live all across town and doesn't get to see but maybe once every 2-3 weeks. This year he is in school and I'm glad he has one. He likes to walk to the public library after school and hang out at their Teen Center, so having a phone lets me keep in touch with him. Even though the phone must stay in his locker during the day he can check it at lunch and also right before dismissal, and that way he can send me a quick text if pick-up arrangements need to be altered for whatever reason. When we pick him up from the library at the end of the day the phone is useful once again: our library is in our downtown area and parking is a real pain, so it's much easier to text him when we are 5-10 minutes away that he can be waiting outside for us. Our schedules vary on a day to day basis, so setting a time in advance isn't always practical, and not having to fight for a parking meter to go inside and track him down is quite nice as well. Also, since he's allowed to walk from school to the library and often stops for an ice cream or a bubble tea with friends downtown along the way, I do like being able to log into iCloud and see where he is located at anytime. He has a lot of freedom and often has as much as 4 hours of time to do as he pleases after school with his pals, and being able to ping his phone at anytime gives me quite a bit of reassurance. We pay as it's bundled into our bill. No real rules or restrictions other than common sense and common courtesy. He's a pretty internet savvy kid, and I don't worry too much. I do reserve the right to read anything on his phone, which I do from time to time, but I don't monitor every single thing he does.

I would find something made to order on eShakti. I've been wanting a holiday party so I have an excuse to order a pretty dress! http://www.eshakti.com

I have a 100% grass-fed steer that was just taken to the butcher earlier this week. I'm getting half and someone else is taking the other half. They'll hang it for two weeks in which time I need to figure out how I want it cut and packaged. Any suggestions for ways to maximize the amount of meat we'll get without having an excess of ground beef? I know I should ask for the bones as well for making stock and for the dogs, but is there anything else useable I should get that would otherwise be tossed? I don't know if I would have use for the suet and rendering it myself seems like it would be quite a chore...

I use a crockpot or my instant pot and just dump it all in together. You can, of course, use whatever vegetables you'd like, but this is what I usually use. Cabbage and mixed veggies are the two absolute musts for us or else it's just not vegetable soup, lol: meat bag of frozen mixed veggies celery diced onion some frozen lima beans 1/2 a head of cabbage cut into chunks big can of crushed or diced tomatoes beef stock salt pepper some V8 if it needs more broth/soup water No measurements, just whatever makes it as thick or soupy as you'd like. Sometimes I'll add in a fistful of dry pearl barley in the last 30-60 minutes, but it isn't necessary.

Carryout from the local BBQ joint: wings, smoked sausage, collard greens and corn bread.

She really just didn't care/couldn't be bothered. She was rather neglectful (and downright abusive as well) as a parent.

$75 doesn't seem like it would go very far, IMO. Granted, when I was in college, I was entirely on my own financially. It would not be unreasonable to ask your child to get a part-time job to cover their own spending money. Pizza and beer qualifies as fun stuff, but a lot of the small incidentals are not "fun." Laundromat money plus money for detergent, basic toiletries, transportation, school supplies, etc. are basic necessities and they all add up quickly. My younger sister went away to school (boarding school in high school, therefore a job wasn't an option for her) and my mom would give her very little money because as far as far as Mom was concerned her daily expenses were covered. Therefore my sister felt that she had no other option than to resort to stealing shampoo, conditioner, tampons, laundry detergent, etc. from other students. :sad:

Ha, well, I want to go there only to use the public restroom, LOL. They have the automated Toto washouts with the heated seats and the wash/dry function. For years I've been saying if/when I get back to NYC I want to go there just to use their toilets. Our stop there will be very brief, and after our early morning train ride into the city, the timing will probably be just right to try out those fancy potties. :)

Good call on the scooters- my kids have them and use them frequently. Too bad I don't have one, lol. I imagine we'll actually be splurging on lots of Uber/Lyft rides. I have foot/knee/hip problems and just can't always take a ton of walking. We'll be there next week! :)

So this is kind of what I'm tentatively thinking with the help of Uber/Lyft and public transport. The kids don't know it yet (I'm keeping it a secret so they'll be surprised) but my brother-in-law's sister works at Buzzfeed and my pop-culture loving kids have been invited to visit her at the Buzzfeed offices for a tour. :) https://www.google.com/maps/dir/The+Grand+Central+Terminal,+5th+Avenue,+New+York,+NY/Japan+Society,+East+47th+Street,+New+York,+NY/Buzzfeed+Product+Labs,+West+22nd+Street,+New+York,+NY/The+High+Line,+New+York,+NY/Battery+Park+City,+New+York,+NY/World+Trade+Center,+New+York,+NY/Staten+Island+Ferry,+Whitehall+Street,+New+York,+NY/Brooklyn+Bridge,+New+York,+NY/@40.7269664,-74.0272333,13z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m50!4m49!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c259a9d9de10a3:0xc667c21ed5e83727!2m2!1d-73.9832754!2d40.7483593!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c2591d782bd44f:0xedfb17103403911d!2m2!1d-73.968287!2d40.75251!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c259bb48e74455:0x46a3ddc504eaaebc!2m2!1d-73.9953483!2d40.7430974!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c259c7840fb4e5:0x583f615c850a3c91!2m2!1d-74.0047649!2d40.7479925!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c25a1aee6620bb:0x624d5c815c1b2c2e!2m2!1d-74.0158441!2d40.7115786!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c25a19881b83fb:0x979b0a4fe0492ce6!2m2!1d-74.0131196!2d40.7118011!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c25a137caafabf:0x8d78325cd63cf060!2m2!1d-74.0131458!2d40.7009512!1m5!1m1!1s0x89c25a2343ce7b2b:0x2526ddba7abd465c!2m2!1d-73.9968643!2d40.7060855!3e0

Taking the train from my sister's house near Greenwich, CT. The kids are 9 and 13.

9 and 13.

I am taking a road trip with my kids over their fall break next week. We'll spend a couple of days on the road (we already have our audiobooks selected!), a day visiting family in MA, a day visiting a sister in CT, and then one day in NYC. It'll just be me and the kids- dh has to work. There are so many things on our list of things we'd like to do- Tenement Museum, Broadway, Ellis Island, 9/11 Memorial, going to parts of the city other than Manhattan, the Cloisters, going to the Japan Society just to use their Toto toilets, LOL. We can't narrow it down, and realistically speaking, we're kinda slow moving on vacation and don't like to try to cram too much into one day. FWIW, we've been there once before and went to The Met and the Museum of Natural History, went to a playground and sailed little boats in Central Park, and went to Times Square. If you had just one day what would be your top couple of choices?

We've had a tiny bit (minimal) contact with him the last few years, so he knows where we are and how to get in touch. We let him know when my MIL was very sick and he visited her in the hospital and nursing home, and I called to let him know when she died a couple of months ago. He didn't come to the funeral but did send flowers. My dh is adamant that he really has no interest in pursuing any relationship with that side of the family, but I have to admit that the kids and I are very curious (yes, our kids know the entire story too.) His mom and dad (the man who raised him, not bio-father) were only children and are both deceased, and dh is an only child as well, so dh and our kids are the last living branches of the family tree on both sides: no aunts, no uncles, no cousins, no one else. Seeing as my kids have no grandparents or cousins, they're actually quite interested in learning more about this side of the family. Right now I suppose we need to abide by dh's wishes, but I see no reason why they can't initiate contact themselves once they are older.

On what she thought was her deathbed (it wasn't- she ended up living for another 15 years) my MIL confessed to dh that "your dad wasn't really your father." Turns out that he is the result of an affair- she was married and his biological father was married to someone else as well. We know the name of his biological father now, and he's an evangelical minister with quite a few other children with his wife of 50+ years (my dh would be the youngest of his children.) To the best of our knowledge, dh is a secret to his bio-father's side of the family and on one else knows he exists. I got an ancestry.com DNA test for Christmas last year and the kids want to get dh one this year so that they can combine our two profiles to get a better picture of their heritage. When I did my test it was fascinating to see the various distant cousins that it found for me, but the first thing I thought of with regard to my dh is the drama it could cause (his bio-father, ironically enough, is really into genealogy.) If dh does an DNA test we'll have to make sure to not include his results in the registry lest his bio-siblings and other biological relatives get quite a shock!

My ds can only wear skinny pants that come in slim sizes. Crazy 8 had one style of jeans (their "rocker" style) that he used to wear, but he refuses to wear jeans anymore. Now he wears the skinny uniform pants from Old Navy that come in slims: http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=1&pid=520644022

I would consider leaving (hard to say for sure b/c I don't know what kind of business or services they are providing) because I just don't have time for added hassle in my life. Unless I'm misunderstanding, it sounds like everyone is paying at the time of service, it's just a matter of what payment methods they are willing to accept. It just doesn't make sense for a business to not accept my Visa/MC debit when they're accepting other credit cards, and to accept checks when those can bounce just as easily (more easily?) than a transaction run on my card.

The amount of money available on one's credit card is fluid and can change day to day depending upon one's charges and payments. The same goes for people's checking accounts regardless of whether they write you a check or use their debit card. I don't see how the method of payment changes this factor. I'm a little confused: if I try to run my card (debit or credit) somewhere and there aren't enough funds available, my card is rejected right then and there, and then I would have to come up with another form of payment on the spot. Meanwhile, I could write a check knowing that the funds aren't in my account and you would have no idea until the check bounced. If a merchant that I used regularly was cash only across the board that would be one thing, and I would decide whether or not I wanted to hassle with cash (probably not), but if you were to say that you'll accept credit cards but not debit cards with the MC/Visa logo I would not be willing to pay cash at time or service and would likely look for another vendor/merchant to use.

That would irritate me. The advantage to today's debit cards is that they can be used just like credit cards, and ultimately you would lose my business if you weren't willing to accept my Mastercard/Visa debit. I do have a credit card, but I do not routinely use it or even carry it with me.