Um, yes, absolutely. :D Perhaps it might help to put it in perspective: what is the purpose of your relationship with MIL? Is it really to get affirmation for YOU? Is it for the kids (in which case you have to ask if it is benefitting them currently)? Is it to support your dh's relationship to his mom (in which case you need to be cognoscente of how often HE wants to see her)? Once you have a clear idea about what is important, you can make better decisions about how often and on what terms you want to see her. You might find that when you stop pursuing her, she may decide to pursue you. IMO, as long as you are doing the pursuing you are enabling her bad behavior and validating her right to behave badly. You cannot change her. All you can do is find a way to manage your interactions with her to be as healthy and positive for you all as possible. A bit of distance might also help you keep your heart open if she should choose to make an effort. As to toxicity: I don't agree that we should bring toxic people into our lives, and especially our children's lives. We try to teach our children to be kind and respectful to everyone, even the toxic. But we also try to teach them to not allow toxic people to harm or abuse them. We talk honestly with our kids (as age appropriate) about why MIL isn't allowed to be unsupervised with them. I think sometimes we try so hard to be "accepting" and "forgiving" that we don't realize what messages we are sending our kids. It's great to model graciousness and tolerance, but I don't want to accidentally send the message that anyone (even grandma) should be allowed to be abusive (verbally or physically) or that "good manners" are more important than confronting injustice or cruelty. I'd rather my kids go thru life protecting the weak and tilting windmills of injustice than "smiling and getting along no matter what". kwim?

...respects no boundaries. None. How deal with it? Firm, consistent boundaries enforced by dh. I agree mil problems are really dh problems. Some people are just toxic. I'm surprised you encourage a relationship between her and your dc. From the sounds of it, I wouldn't be pursuing her AT ALL and maybe have her at group events a couple times a year. As to the kids being hurt (physically or emotionally) -- to me that's the #1 priority, not some sense of familiar responsibility, esp if your dh isn't pushing for it -- he knows her best! It may sound disrespectful to some here, but our responsibility and duty is to our kids. MIL's just reaping what she sowed.

Run it by your OB to make sure it is just "normal hormonal angst of pregnancy". :D I believe hormones make us overreact, but don't create feelings. In other words, something that normally would just slightly irritate you will now send you into a rage (there's something triggering it). It probably always bugs you, just normally you suppress the annoyance. Maybe consider this an opportunity -- use your heightened sensitivity to understand yourself better. Pause to think of even journal about what really set you off and how you really FELT. I often feel a lot better if I just acknowledge the feeling. Today I felt angry I had to tell the kids 4 times to do something (had a migraine, which also messes with neurochemistry/emotions). I realized what really bothered me is that I felt they were taking advantage of my distraction (I had a lot of things to do) and that bothered me because they were not respecting my time (or me...that *I* wasn't important). Just realizing the why brought me a degree of peace (since I could challenge the idea of my importance) and I was able to sit the kids down and discuss responsibilities (theirs and mine) calmly and with humor instead of yelling at them (my first instinct :lol:). Don't try to resolve any issues you uncover NOW, but keep them in mind for when you reach calm waters (about 9mo from now...maybe). You might uncover some easy to address small irritants (things you didn't know bothered you) or internal dialogues you can change and really improve your life. Finally, you don't control how you feel, but you can control how you act on it. You may need to cut back on responsibilities/activities/chores and be willing to walk away for a minute when you know the feeling is hormonal, not "real". Good luck!

I don't think the brand matters too much -- we've gotten them at REI, Target, and Costco. Make sure it specifies a 50+ UPF protection and FEEL the fabric. Some are really stiff with no stretch (yuck) and some seem too thin or the neck is too tight/high. A comfy shirt gets worn. :D We LOVE ours on our toehead kiddos!

:iagree: Same here, except only 12yrs. :D Having common goals and communicating daily helps, too. Before our kids were born we agreed that when it came to dc, whichever parent was the more conservative safety-wise "wins". That applies to everything from whether to take them to the ER, avoiding taking them on unnecessary car trips, to which activities they do. If it is an issue of safety in one parent's eyes, the other respects that. After all, the consequences of being wrong are higher. So, I guess I would add that discussing "in principle" what criteria are important to you for making a decision (as a team) can be helpful. If you cannot resolve it on criteria, maybe one parent is willing to yield (not a fan of "submit, :lol:) with the promise that next time you cannot resolve the other will yield. :) In the end, you have to be able to let go and take that decision as yours (as a team) and not hold a grudge. ;)

I think it is only a comp question of the reader knows what segregation was. I don't think that NOT knowing is such a terrible thing -- they aren't absorbing it because inequality is foreign. During the last election my then 6yo asked me why the news was making such a big deal about the president's hair color. :D I would LIKE kids to know the history of the battles for equality, including BvB, women's suffrage (another one that most would prolly miss), japanese american internment during WWII, native american exp during US expansion, etc -- mainly so they don't take the hard won (and imperfect) equalities for granted. And yet, the fact that the need for these changes is difficult for a teenager to comprehend isn't ALL a bad thing. Taking equality as a given is a victory, too. I think this type of social "amnesia" may be part of the healing process as one generation's current events morphs into another's ancient history. I think/hope if returns into broader social consciousness in the next generation or two.

I like to sew, knit, paint, refinishing...but not so good on the little kiddie crafts (have to remind myself to do). Some family mag had a craft for making Easter eggs that I've found good year round and the kiddos love to do every week: As soon as you've boiled them, put them back in a carton and give the kiddos some of your old broken crayons to draw on them with. The wax melts and you can make very neat patterns. I also think the wax makes them peel easier. Only hard part is when I have to flip them over (still HOT). Anyway, consumable art the kids still love doing and uses up the broken crayons. DHs coworkers are teasing him about still eating Easter eggs, tho. :lol: Anyone else have some easy crafts to share for the craft-challenged (like me)? :D

Lots of neat ideas! I'm going to have to try them here! One thing I didn't see mentioned is having the older sib help. I have my 7yo read stories to my 2.5yo when my K'r needs my attention. The 2nd grader gets practice reading aloud, the K'r gets my focus, and the toddler loves books. The 7yo gets a kick out of being the older useful sis, and her brother appreciates another reader in the house. Now my K'r has started reading to him and he is absolutely thrilled (and she is proud to be a big sister, too). He can always find a lap to crawl into for storytime now!

Tough call -- the black is $30 cheaper. :D If the room is a bit dim, the black may be too dark. Green is more colorful. If your room is well-lit and colorful enough, there's something about the crispness of a BLACKboard I like, esp when you use colored chalk -- more "pop". Both will show chalkdust, esp in pics. Totally an issue of preference. Since chalkboards are a bit nostalgic (at least for me and part of why I got one) you might consider if one feels better to that. :) In a toss-up, poll the kiddos or save the $30. :lol:

:iagree: One thing I'm good at is modifying recipes to more healthy versions that taste the same. It's really not tough. :D I like the idea of comfort foods one day a week. Our kids are younger, but I agree with avoiding battles over food since eating is one of the only things a kid really has 100% control over (defecating is the other :x). We expect our kids to TRY everything they are served, but if dd just hates something (common with dd#2) we have *acceptable healthy* standbys OF THE SAME kind (instead of snacking later). For example, if she's missing out on the protein, after she tries what's served she can have a hard boiled egg. If it's veggies, she can have some carrot sticks or cherry tomatoes instead. We keep the standbys the same -- likable, healthy, but BORING. After a meal there's zero snacking for at least an hour or two. If they're hungry right after a meal we tell them to go drink some water. I'd try to move away from cereal as a snack. :p Good luck! We've definitely gone thru periods of feeling our diet is held hostage to the kiddos. Of late I've just refused to compromise our diet and instead require they try it and if they don't like it, boring simple standby options are on hand that don't require me to play short order cook!

He doesn't hate you, he's just instinctively using his greatest weapon to make sure you hear how mad he is and how much he wants his way. FWIW, I believe kids have an unfettered right to their feelings, but (as I tell them) how they ACT on their feelings is another matter. I agree with the PPs that said they'd calmly tell dc that it's ok to be upset but not ok to tell someone you hate them or to behave badly (we had a rash of sibs saying it each other and it wasn't tolerated, so it ceased quickly). I also agree that I'd point out it just confirmed he wasn't mature enough to have a say in those decisions. One technique I use to to ask the child what their behavior is teaching me. "I let you play with your ps friends every day. The result is that you now are beaving badly, putting your socializing ahead of your education, and yelling at me that you hate me. So what are you teaching me? From my perspective, what is the problem? What should I do about it? Because it seem to me you are teaching me that letting you play with your ps friends is a BAD thing, so do you think I'm more likely to let you spend MORE time with them (makes no sense) or not let you play with them AT ALL?" I'd tell him the deal is if he stops whining and behaving badly, he can continue to see his friends and you can you're willing to sit down and discuss ways to increase his extracurriculars (but not ps) AS LONG AS HE demonstates he's mature enough to handle it. But every day he doesn't tow the line or had another unacceptable breach of behavior he loses TWO days seeing his friends AT ALL. Of course, that's just me. :D And I wouldn't try that with a 15yo, but at 11yo...yep.

People still like to say Macs are more expensive, but that hasn't been true for many years. Consider when you get an iMac you've gotten everything you'll need while most "cheap PCs" would require $$$ of software to even be useable. I love that OS X is built on Unix, not DOS -- inherently more secure. I can even port compiled UNIX apps to my Mac! It's smooth, seamless, and sleek with the underbelly of a UNIX programmer's dream -- an underbelly you NEVER need to know about to use the thing (no more MS Tech Support telling you, "ok, open a DOS command prompt window and type c:\Windows\System32\ISuck\09785837.dll"). I can use eye-candy iPhoto and hardcore vi... at the same time with no issues. As to backups and migration twix macs -- one cool thing is they also take care of apps. In other words, even if you have Office on your Mac you'll never have to pull out the install disks again! As to Office -- I finally dumped it for a FREEWARE Office suite that works better. There's no issue sending things between Mac and PC users, and like the others have said, it just...works. And if you buy an App from Apple's App store, it automatically installs on ALL your Macs. And doesn't screw anything up in the process. Definitely go to an Apple Store if you have one nearby and fondle their gear. Then you'll understand. :lol: Note that you can order an iMac with either the mouse of trackpad (which I prefer), so test ride that as well.

We like Costco's and have never worried about quality. They (as well as others) also make "enteric coated" versions -- significantly pricier, but don't dissolve until lower in the gut, so no fishy burp. I get most other things from Puritan's Pride (fish oil and daily multi are cheaper at Costco). My solution is to take cinnamon pills at the same time as regular fish oil pills (cinnamon is good for stabilizing blood sugar) -- if you burp you'd never taste the fish past the cinnamon. :lol: I'd take cinnamon for the fish oil taming alone! If you take them with or right before a meal, that will cull most fishiness as well. At a minimum, always drink plenty of water with any pills.

:iagree: Ditto. Agree 100%. :iagree: I just don't buy into this "tattle tale" expecting a kid to handle behavior that would NEVER be tolerated in the adult world bull. Talk to the coach privately and explain you expect a CHURCH run camp to hold the participants to a higher standard. I DO like the, "Wasn't that your intent?" response. Might even add, "wouldn't want to disappoint you since your ego's so small you have to pick on litttler kids to feel good about yourself. I'm just sad for you." At his age I'd have probably said something like that or, "I'm just sad because Jesus must be sooo disappointed in you right now. I'll pray for you." :lol: NOT saying a pithy response is the best response. Sure, no one picked on me since I could retort well and had an unerring sense for where their insecurities were, but didn't exactly make me the most popular. :lol: Bottom line: I wouldn't tolerate it from an adult; I won't tolerate it from a child to my child. When we have run into bad behavior from neighborhood kids I've bluntly explained to my introvert the psychological defects in those kids (which they'll hopefully outgrow) and to live to her own conscience (everyone likes my dd, so it was usually about one kid picking on another in front of her). I was very proud when when chose to handle it by calmly telling the "mean" girl that she didn't like how she was treating the other girl and that if she didn't stop, my dd wouldn't play with her anymore. DD went to the picked-on girl and started playing, the other kids followed, and finally the mean girl apologized. Of course, it's not the same as when you are the target, but I do think you can: 1) expect the environ you send your dc to is healthy and abuse from other kids won't be tolerated, and 2) empower your child to understand that the bullying comes from a scared sad little place in those kids and they should be pitied, but not tolerated. ;) ETA: If the coach/chaperone was blase about it, I'd point out the real reason these kids are there is to learn to live a godly life. Allowing those bigger kids to pick on the smaller ones is truly opposite Christ's teachings, and should be addressed as such. If your kids can't feel emotionally safe at a church camp, where can they?

Dunno if I should thank you or curse you for posting about this. :D Since I got 17 ebooks for $17, mostly stuff to add a little variety to spice things up, I guess I'll thank you. :)

I've used their Progress in Mathematics and like it alot. K12 used it (until K12 went to their inhouse horrid Math+ curriculum this year). It's mastery based (sequential) like MM but more bubblegum colorful and visually appealing to DD#2. I think especially nice in the K-grade4 years. Solid and inexpensive. It compares favorably to Saxon (there was a study comparing them; google it).

:iagree: With 4 weeks you don't have time to get in a rhythm, so why not take the time to decompress? If you want to set the tone that HS isn't no school, how about focussing on the 3Rs? Have him free READ for an hour a day. Discuss what books he likes and why, and get a stack of ones he likes from the library. Have him WRITE 1-3 pages in a writing journal each day. Don't edit it or correct it, just have him write about anything. If he needs ideas to get started, have him write about what happened that day, what he'd like to study in hs, what he wants to do on summer break, etc. Have him do a page (20min most) of arithmetic. You can use a free worksheet generator or even the MM placement test (a page at a time). One day do addition of whole numbers, another subtraction, then multiplication facts to 12x12, then 2dig x 2dig mult, division facts, then do the 4 operations with decimals, long division, then fractions. Make sure they are easy enough that he can succeed and short enough not to get tedious. Focus on areas he struggles (but gently). Do this for four weeks and you'll have a really good idea about where your dc is academically. Another option is just to get a 4th grade workbook (like BrainQuest) and have him do a page from each subject area each day. Listen for signs of his interest and feed it with fun books or movies from the library on that subject. Good luck!

I'm not a big fan of GD (doesn't meet criteria for a disease, for example). Some studies haven't found it to useful: "To determine if the results of glucose testing for diabetes are related to the outcome of the pregnancy, 608 pregnant women were studied. Eighty-eight of the women had abnormally high glucose levels detected by glucose screening. When GTTs were performed, 35 of the women had higher than normal levels of blood glucose (an abnormal GTT), and 48 had normal GTT. The mean infant birth weight and the incidence of infant morbidity and maternal morbidity were the same for those with normal GTTs and those who had abnormal GTTs. There was no relationship between the results of the GTTs and the incidence of birth trauma, cesarean delivery, or fetal macrosomia (oversized body). These findings indicate that the results of glucose testing had little relationship to the outcome of these pregnancies. Read more: http://www.faqs.org/abstracts/Health/Glucose-challenge-testing-in-pregnancy-Which-cutoff-level-should-be-used-in-screening-for-glucose-in.html#ixzz1MwY75V40" You are sooooo borderline and since bg rises in 3rd tri, if they'd done the screen at the recommended 24-26th week mark you'd probably have passed. The old cutoff (and still used by some) for "normal" is 185, so you would have passed that. Was your test first thing in the am near-fasting? (what my NMW recommended to avoid false positives)? During my first pgc I had the test right after lunch and failed by a few points. Passed the 3hr test, but bg plunged afterward to the point I was shaking. Was sick as a dog and had to take the rest of the day off work. Swore I would NEVER take the 3hr test again. Fortunately passed my next 2 screens by not setting myself up to fail by doing the screen after lunch. :p

we LOVE Umpqua SP. Where the Sand Dunes meet the ocean. Many SP in OR have yurts you can rent inexpensively. So camping without hauling the gear. Tend to be booked ahead, tho. OT: if you're in CO late May/early June the Great Sand Dunes Nat'l Monument is awesome -- 6" deep creek flowing thru surreal sand dunes; great kid-friendly hikes. When we lived in CO we went there 4x a year in the Spring.

I think you've got a great idea about a MIL support forum/group. Or maybe a "how to" class. I'm a loooong way off from being one, know plenty of lousy ones. Luckly my mom is an excellent one (2 SILs and 1 DIL would all agree), so I hope to emulate her when my time comes. My DH likes to say families are big on love but often short on respect. I really think it comes down to respecting your dc and dil. Accept you're a spectator in their life. Let them figure out their way of being and then figure out where you fit in. You can't push your way in, but hope that by how you raised your dc and how you treat your dil you will be invited into their lives. Don't offer advice unless asked. Look for and focus on the good in your dil. If you are looking for flaws, she'll feel that. Be open and let the relationship unfold. If you can approach it as, "Wow, you're an amazing person my son chose and brought into our lives. I look forward to getting to know you better." I think you'll be fine. :D

Our 3 are all amazing at bedtime, no fuss, no battles. Our family and friends continue to tell us how amazed they are with how issue free our kids bedtimes are and I believe firmly it's because we NEVER did CIO. You can do this without resorting to CIO. I get annoyed when someone who CLEARLY chose the AP/EBF/co-sleeping route asks for help and the CIO'rs jump all over it as The Only Way To Parent (or at least to be a GOOD parent). We all made our choices years ago on the AP/CIO debate, so. move. on. So I disagree with Ellie 100%. Sorry. What's worked for us is to set up a bed on our room adjacent to ours. Gives a little space. If you can't do that try a mat on the floor. Start delatching when asleep and use the space to create a little distance. Then delatch when drowsy and work towards a couple minutes nursing. Eventually move the other bed across the room. By this point you'll be sleeping much better. During a bout of independence you should be able to move her to a different bedroom (sibling's or own). We moved ours out around the 2yo mark, which worked well. They share one room and love it. I still nurse the 2.5yo to sleep, but just a couple minutes (ready for him to give that up), then I lay on a mat at the foot of their beds until they fall asleep, about 10-15min and I'm done for the night. Good luck, you'll get there. Check out AP-friendly forums or books, such as Sears or E. Pantley for more ideas or strategies.

We started with MM in Nov/Dec. 7yo DD#1 is finishing up MM4B and likes it. DD#2 is almost 6yo and doing MM1A and was ho-hum so I added in Sadlier-Oxford's (SO) Progress in Mathematics Grade 1 workbook (also glossy and has coloring, etc but a solid curric). SO is actually more gradual on math facts. She doesn't want to give up MM, tho. So we do both (or actually 3 if you count DK math workbooks, but I like to wallow in math for K-2). We'll cover the concept in MM for a few lessons then practice it in SO. I looked a lot at Singapore and used some with DD#1, but like the sequencing of MM and SO better. I do wish the first couple levels of MM were a little more...playful or silly to interest the younger child. In our case, we solved the aesthetic preference issue by adding in some eye candy on the side. :D Just a thought for folks currently using MM (and struggling with kiddos enthusiasm). :) Of course leaves me juggling books, but I usually just alternate twix lessons.

I still have my high school math textbooks for over 20 years ago, my oldest is 7 and I plan on using them. So you can probably guess what I'd do! :lol: Fortunately they're from well-regarded editions. The content hasn't changed much and I'm familiar with the books, so that's worth more than glossy "new editions" to me. Actually, I also have all my old college texts and lecture notes and I'm not afraid to use 'em! :D

For younger kids, I'd say skip 'em. But by your kids' ages I'd personally be inclined to make them suffer thru. :D I think there is value in reading and thinking about lit we don't particularly like. Even just discussing WHY they don't like something and then maybe look into why it is considered such a classic is a good learning exp. A lot of books I didn't appreciate in MS/HS I think about a lot now and definitely influence how I think about things (Lord of the Flies, Animal Farm, ...)

Check out: http://www.bindingmachine.com/ProClick-Binding-Machines.htm I got my comb binder there, the supplies (combs, and check out the plastic cover sheets) were the cheapest I found, fast shipping, no problems. Definitely shop around, tho. :D ETA: Amazon looks cheaper for this, go Amazon! :D