I'm about ready to take the plunge and have my DD professionally tested. The doctor I talked with says $125/hour, usual ADHD testing is 3 hours ($375) and ADHD plus cognitive processing is 5 hours ($625). Is this usual? I would think I would want the cognitive processing as well as long as I am doing this.

I don't have ADD, but have exactly the same response as you to my ADD daughter. The loose ends make me crazy and pretty regularly overwhelmed. No advice, but just wanted to offer that maybe it's just a normal part of mom-hood you would be having even if you weren't ADD.

I used to eat it, but don't now. At first I figured I ate it so much as a kid, it was just another one of those overblown fear-mongering things. But when I looked it up, some articles said that in fact there really didn't use to be as much of a salmonella problem years ago (when we ate as kids) as there is now. (Which figures, considering the decreasing quality of food processing.) Even then I still would eat it. THEN I read about how salmonella poisoning can trigger in some people some long-term immune response that resembles arthritis and can plague people for years. Doesn't happen often, but I just figured that was not worth the risk for one spoon (or more even!) of cookie dough. Especially not for my kid. It does grieve me, though...

I really appreciate all the replies. You have given me alot to think about, and I will be looking up the reading material you have mentioned. Thank you!

Thank you for this, that is exactly what I don't want to happen and where I feel like we are headed.

Thank you so much for your input. Cindergreta, too ( I don't know how to do multiple quotes!) I have been reading about ADD but it is hard for me to understand sometimes. I was an over-achiever, whiz-kid type in school, and I really struggle not to put those expectations on my DD. But I agree especially with what you said, no one wants to fail. Thanks for giving me more to think about.

I am in the camp of "not selfish as long as you don't expect everyone to come". My dearest friend from childhood had a destination wedding this past summer. I just told her, I am sorry, but no. If we did spend that much money on a vacation we would go somewhere else, but we didn't have the money in the first place. She was totally ok with that. She did it primarily for her and her husband, and had no problem with no one attending.

This is what makes me think its an effort thing... When I say did you re-read the question? YES Did you answer all parts of the questions? YES It seems clear to me that she didn't really bother to re-read the question. (I'm talking relatively simple two part questions, not something complicated that she might not get) When I say "Check off the corrections as you make them" and say that every time, but she doesn't check them off and then misses half of them. It seems clear again that she just didn't FEEL like checking them off. And actually, she doesn't seem to mind that because she has to do the work over it takes until 5 or 6 pm on somedays to finish her work. (When she works well, we work maybe until 1 or 2.) On the other hand, when the school day goes that late, I am the one who is stressful and crazy. I would prefer not to work on Saturday. But I am trying to find some kind of incentive for her to change the behavior. And to answer Cat, she does do better when I sit with her. I just can't sit with her all the time.

Thanks for that story. I always said if I won the lottery (which would be kind of hard since I don't play!) I would like to just go around doing small things for individuals and families. It would be so fun! I could spend all my time looking for people to help and finding a way to do it anonymously. I can't imagine anything more immediatly gratifying.

That is indeed a possibility. I just don't know how to get her to put in her full effort without having some kind of consequence. Just repetition hasn't been working.

I guess what I'm getting at though is how do you know when its the disability and when its just unwilling to make an effort? When I say did you re-read the question? YES Did you answer all parts of the questions? YES It seems clear to me that she didn't really bother to re-read the question. (I'm talking relatively simple two part questions, not something complicated that she might not get) When I say "Check off the corrections as you make them" and say that every time, but she doesn't check them off and then misses half of them. It seems clear again that she just didn't FEEL like checking them off. That doesn't seem to be the ADD, it seems to be behavioral. I'm not saying the ADD isn't whats causing the problem in the first place, but the other things seem to be a lack of effort.

I loved your question! It made me laugh. I did have to add though that regardless of whether you gain weight or not, you would STILL not be able to eat whatever you want if you are concerned about the health of your body. I grew up naturally skinny but living on Snickers and Dr.Pepper. My naturally skinny state made it hard for me to eat healthy foods or exercise properly. I had friends who were slightly "overweight" but were in better health than me really. Although sometimes I wish I were still that way, at least now my weight REMINDS me of what I should be doing anyway just to take care of my body. Sorry...just like we tell our kids...there are no real shortcuts!

She's not on medication, as I haven't felt that the ADD has interfered with her life enough to warrant that. Also, she definitely is ADD without hyperactivity (which I understand is more common in girls.) I am not anti-medication, but definitely am dedicated to working on coping strategies first before we would reach that point.

I have a DD11 in 6th grade who I have realized this past year has ADD issues. We have constant problems with work not being finished completely. Two examples just to give you an idea: 1. Question says, List three types of whatever and give an example of each. DD lists the three types but no examples. 2. When she gives me a rough draft of a paper, we edit it together, she goes back and makes only about half of the corrections (which are marked in red ink on the paper). Sometimes it takes three or four times before she makes all the corrections. You get the idea! I have worked together with her on numerous coping strategies. After she does each assignment, I have her one or more times go back and re-read to make sure she answered all parts. I have asked her when editing to check off each correction so she gets them all. We still have constant issues. So, although I know there is an ADD issue going on, I also feel like she is not putting in ANY personal effort on this. DD is formerly public schooled, so she absolutely HATES doing any work on the weekend. I finally told her that for certain issues like a) not answering the question completely, and b) not making all the corrections on a paper, she will have to do those items on Saturday. Note, I am still doing all the same things to help her, such as asking her multiple times before she turns in a paper to me, "Did you read the question again, etc." She totally freaked on me, gave me the "meanest mom" thing, the whole deal. Says I am punishing her for simple mistakes that she can't help. I don't want to punish her for ADD issues. But I also expect her to WORK WITH ME, and to put in some effort on her own. How do you make that distinction? Am I being too harsh?

The only reason we even know about all the moral bad decisions of Clinton is because we are living in a totally different age where the media scrutinizes and publicizes every tiny detail whether it is relevent or not. There are people who are not trustworthy morally in their personal marital or family relationships, but that are capable of doing other jobs well, and even exceptionally. Personally, I find the uproar incredibly naive. Do we really think that all our past presidents who served prior to the media age were all exemplary morally? Still, we judge them by the merits of their presidency rather than by their moral personal decisions. (Which we happen to know nothing about, due to the fluke of timing.) Aside from that, I liked Obama, but agree that he has turned out to be incredibly "weak" as a president. The video exemplified that. Very disappointing.

OP, I agree with you and you are not over-reacting. We also had a neighbor dog who would bark right by our window, during the night as well as early am. The bark is what you were describing. It would literally make us jump out of the bed with pulses racing. We tried everything. First kindness and politeness. Then more agressive. Then calling the authorities. When the neighbors cursed out the policemen, we knew we were in trouble and that they had no respect for neighbors or authorities. We began to be afraid of retaliation. The stress (the numerous sudden awakenings with pulses racing) and lack of sleep, were making me unstable! I actually had horrible thoughts about harming the dog. (This is not me, and not who I am - I am totally ashamed of it now, but during the months this went on it was really starting to affect me.) I did not harm the dog. But I sure came to understand how crazy it can make people, and how a person with lesser moral values might do so. Fortunately for us, the dog eventually escaped because one of the kids left the gate open. Thank God, they did not replace the dog. It was a horrible experience. If your city noise ordinace is 10-7, they should not allow the dog to bark during that time. Period. Unfortunatly for you, even if you call the authorities, they may not stop. As they say, laws are only for people who respect them. Some people have no respect for anything.

Yep, I still remember once when I was sick, I started feeling better. DD asked, can I watch tv, and I said no. She said, "you must be feeling better!" :) We don't have alot of tv at our house, but there are times when it is really useful! Although a 20 month old may not be too interested... I think when she was smaller I would put a dvd on, then spread out as many toys as possible in front of the couch where I was laying. Close doors or gate off if you need to contain her. PS, my mom used to say you don't know what motherhood is until the first time you and your little one are both sick at the same time! She was right.

Love Old Navy too - I'm a "Flirt" :001_smile: And they have extra tall sizes online.

Our family was playing a kids trivia/school question kind of game. The question was, what is the monetary unit in Mexico? DD said, "I know this, I know this....churros?" I wish! It did make me hungry though..

I think its the "stretch" fabric. Almost all jeans are stretch right now, and stretch jeans do just what you are describing to me. (It is especially bad since I have no butt, and when they start to stretch there is nothing to hold them up!) I try really hard to find jeans that are 100% cotton or 1% stretch fabric, no more than that. I like Old Navy. I had to try the styles on in the store, then order the style online but in tall size. I ordered about 5 diff pairs once I found one I liked.

Children learn best to deal with conflict they way they best learn other things - in an environment that is safe, secure, and with loving parents to help them process what they are going through (which includes sometimes making mistakes on their own). That is not the environment at school. My argument is that the public school environment is not very much like "real life" at all. In the real world, "bullying" is called assualt, and "teasing", depending on the type, is called sexual harassment. So how well does that really prepare them to deal with conflict in real life? Many of the "strategies" that people use to get through PS and seem effective are in fact detrimental in adult life. I made it through - but to me, it was nothing like what the real world was (thank God!). So put them in PS so they can learn to deal with conflict? Well maybe the way kids deal with conflict in PS is not the way I want my child to learn. I do agree that parents often shelter and intervene too often. But that is a totally different issue and has more to do with individual parenting that it does with WHERE the child is located.

Oh, no, I wasn't refering to you specifically. It's just that some people move freely between faiths as long as they are Christian denominations. Others, like LDS, have very specific reasons for being in that particular denomination. So it makes it more difficult when you have issues. That's what I was referring to.

I am not LDS but a member of a church that also encourages obedience. I do believe that obedience to those in authority in the interest of unity is expected of me by God. I have also been in some congregations where obedience was detrimental to my spirituality and that of my family. After years of prayer and struggle, I have reached a personal place of balance, where I am obedient to all things that I feel are not harmful to me or my family spiritually. Ultimately, it is I who have to answer to God for my own actions. If I am in disagreement with something, I consider very carefully whether being obedient in spite of disagreement would actually cause harm to my family. In other words, I feel if I am going to be disobedient to those in authority, I should be prepared to stand before God and answer for my choice. (Not just with, I didn't like that rule, or that rule was inconvenient.) And yes, I have made that choice in certain situations, but not nearly as many as I would have expected. I have also had to live with the results of those choices. If you make a certain choice in the interest of your family, you may have to deal with other members viewing you a certain way - not an example, not good association, etc. Other people have the right to feel the way they feel. If the choice is important enough to you, you have to stand by it and deal with the consequences. Some might say, why put up with that, why not just change churches. But, if you really believe your church has the truth on all the important issues, then you don't just abandon it. We live in an imperfect world and no church involving humans will be 100% perfect. You do, however, have to take whatever steps are necessary to protect your own family from spiritual harm, and your own conscience before God.

DD11 types most everything. I actually find it easier for her to edit, etc, than with pen and paper. She can add things easily, move things, etc. Also, there isn't the big argument, "This whole page is already written out and you want me to go back to add one sentence here or there? No way!" And I can't say that I blame her, with writing by hand you basically have to redo the whole thing. So she is more amiable to make improvements. She especially likes to to do her outline, then just turn her outline into the paper or paragraph. It helps keep her organized. That said, I do have her do a few assignments like vocabulary, sentences or other things like that by hand, and I am very particular with her writing legibly (not cursive though) on the few assignments I have her do. But assignments that require editing, etc, are SO MUCH easier on the computer. It's not a bad thing!

here!