I'm completely clear that it's rape. Got it. Sorry this line was a reminder line that I meant to add/clarify. I meant to delete this from my post after I had worked through this more clearly but I had an awake child stumble into the room. (ugh, I often post too quickly without clearly posting my complete thought. I'm actually an attorney. I don't deal with sexual crimes and children however I do deal with adult victims of violent sexual crimes so I get the legal definitions of child abuse, rape etc, got it, even without the highlighted phrases.) Here is the jist what I wanted to add earlier:I wish he should still be charged because he failed to stop the crime while it was in progress, he didn't merely have the obligation to report the rape but he was witness to the actual incident and did nothing. I see these as two separate things. I know he can be legally charged under PA law for failure to report and I think that's horrible.Many times there will be different standards for mandated reporters for reporting neglect or physical abuse vs. sexual abuse including rape but in PA this doesn't seem to be the case and that is why he is fine in merely reporting to his superior. In other states (like mine) he would be required to not only report to his superiors but to also report to the police including being required to give an oral report and file a statement. I question the sufficiency of his reporting given the nature of the crime. I especially question the sufficiency considering that he was a coach. Also, if he left out details then it seems that his report was insufficient. Additionally if is were to be considered a mandated or required reporter and knew that Sandusky continued to take children out alone he also failed to report that Sandusky continued to have direct supervision over children at the charity and that those children were in the presence of a person who had previously raped a child. This continued threat should to be reported. If he was a considered to be at the level of a required reporter this is a major problem. To me at the least he should be held to the standard of mandated reporters in other states but obviously PA law is insanely lax in this area. § 3490.13. Reports by employees who are required reporters. (a) Required reporters who work in an institution, school, facility or agency shall immediately notify the person in charge of the institution, school, facility or agency or the person in charge's designee of suspected abuse. The person in charge, or the designee, shall be responsible and have the obligation to make a report of the suspected child abuse to ChildLine immediately. This is the requirement for mandated reporters for child abuse. The law in PA does not (as far as I know make an additional reporting requirement for child rape and puts it under the general child abuse reporting) So yes, he did meet the requirements of PA law for reporting child abuse including for PA law apparently, rape. But does this actually make sense to anyone? Shouldn't he have an additional reporting requirement even under PA law for reporting this? The only way to get him in trouble is if PA law requires regular citizens to also report and give a statement on child abuse and child rape to the police. (not just the people in charge of the institution he works at) This is the same ridiculous argument that the PA priests made when they failed to report child sexual abuse by priests. Their argument was that "they had no obligation to report sexual abuse to the law enforcement" and that this was told to them by legal council. Their legal council wasn't so far off. In practice there are often no requirements to report a rape to law enforcement. However, should he be required to STOP the rape of a child while it is occurring? It seems to me that this is where the argument needs to lie. PA really doesn't have any way to get him trouble for this? (clearly they don't, I just find that insane but honestly, that's probably pretty standard. I worked a case where a man literally raped a woman in the bathroom stall of a full bathroom and nobody who witnessed the crime was in any trouble because they didn't actually 'know that she didn't consent and additionally they weren't obligated to go to her assistance to check or under the obligation to call 911 in such an indicent" Um, yeh, it didn't matter that she clearly verbalized her non-consent because he wasn't physically hitting her "just raping" her they didn't call the cops. (this is public record) I wish that they could get him under a more stringent rule. If he knew that Sandusky was still working with children at the charity he should have had another obligation to report to the head of the institution. If he also knew that Sandusky may come in contact with any potential football player who was a minor even in recruiting he should have the obligation to report. Arguably he could have also contacted Child Protection and Social Services. Obviously, he won't be charged and he is now a key witness for the prosecution. I should have clarified my statement but instead of editing here is a quick clarification. back to my now half asleep child...:)

I sincerely hope that he actually did do more than is being reported and he just can't talk about it because of the trial. I have no comprehension of how the shock etc must have actually affected him however, years went by before anything was actually done concerning this situation. Did he not in those years ever question why nothing was happening and why the police didn't want to interview him? Did he ever wonder why he didn't have to make a signed statement? Didn't he wonder why the officials met with him at the arena instead of the police station? Did he ever do anything about this other than "feel uncomfortable" or wonder? He claims that he thought he had reported it to the Penn State police or Central PA police but there is no record of that from any police department. (obviously they could be lying/covering it up however, it does seem odd that he doesn't recall ever making a statement or being interviewed) If he was worried about a cover-up or his reputation wouldn't it have been better to go to the off campus police? Get an attorney of his own and file a report? Honestly, I think he continued with his life, continued showing up to Sandusky charity events, recruited for the team, etc simply because he couldn't handle rocking the boat or contemplating that by making a greater effort to report Sanusky he may lose his job, his social life would be wrecked, people wouldn't believe him etc etc I know those are things that all whistleblowers must deal with but in cases involving children I think there should be a higher duty placed on people who had knowledge of situations like this. Yes, he froze, yes, he tried but you know what I think it is just fine for society to say "you should have tried harder and done more." So many kids were harmed by this man that I have no tolerance for the adults involved who failed to stop the situation. Seriously we can't come up with a higher standard of acceptable behavior for these adults and instead worry about the poor guy who will have lost job prospects and his social life? A major reason he won't being charged is that in most states it is not actually a crime to not report child abuse. (unless you are a mandated reporter, which it seems to me a coach should be)

I don't feel bad for him. He caught an adult male raping a child and his response was to make noise so they would know someone was there, call a person who was not the police and in meetings where he claimed he was reporting the incident he left out details. How about grabbing the kid and driving to the nearest police station? How about calling 911? The family friend thing etc just doesn't hold up to me, this was a child and he saw exactly what was happening. Even if in the moment he didn't know what to do or was in shock he could have gone to the police after, tried to contact the child to bring him to the police etc. and all of this could be done without even talking to his superiors at the school. It would have been much harder to cover up if someone was able to medically examine the child immediately after the rape. I understand that he may have been in shock but after he had time to process he needed to act. I think he would be employable if he had done something more extreme as a response. His half-action makes him unemployable. I personally think he should be in jail for his inaction. I could care less about his job prospects. I also think the school counselor should have charges brought against her.

Toms of Maine has a non-gel kids toothpaste. My son uses the strawberry flavored one since he is anti-mint/cinnamon and most common adult toothpastes seem to be some variety of mint or cinnamon.

I think pulling a child out of his home and putting him into foster care when he has loving parents (even if inept) is undercutting his emotional health to such an extreme as to be unconscionable. Obviously, this kid has a huge potential for future health problems, this is clear. I have a few questions however: 1. was he getting some of his food at school from a school lunch or breakfast system? If yes, look at the quality of the food/calorie/sugar/sodium content. Does it count french fries or ketchup as a vegetable? Does it consider milk laced with high fructose corn syrup to be an acceptable way to get Vit D and calcium? Perhaps this child could start losing weight by being taken out of the school lunch program. Most low-income families have children that have at least one but often two meals a day at school. This would be a great place to improve a child's nutrition. 2. Is this child going to be emotionally better off in foster care and only seeing his mother for two hours a week? One's emotional state is often not as easily fixed as one's weight. How do they intend to address this issue? Is it really cost effective to provide emotional support instead of further nutritional guidance? 3. Is this child part of a food stamp or food assistance program? What is available as part of this program? Can foods that are completely horrid be purchased? If yes to both of those questions blame the government program along with the mother. 4. Consider the social cost to this child that he must deal with after being put into foster care. He was a child who was participating in school activities even while overweight. Now he gets to be the overweight kid who was pulled out of his home because of his weight. Isn't this potentially a larger social stigma for both him and his mother? Is this equal to the offense? 5. Was the health plan given to the mother even feasible for her to do? Did it actually include physical activity? What is the percentage of sedentary activity at the school? Is it more than %75? Why can't more physical activity being included as part of his school day to assist ALL children in healthy lifestyles? Personally, this case (if the facts are presented accurately) enrages me. Yes, what his mother is doing or not doing is problematic but it should not be met with pulling the child from the home. Sometimes I am in awe at the complete lack of regard for a child's mental and emotional needs. This child clearly needs help: I don't think this was the proper way to provide it. OT slightly: I saw a study recently that suggested that middle income families consume more fast food and convenience style foods than lower income families? Did I completely read that wrong or not recall the correct details?

I think you just plain rock for helping your kids with their father's present. It's a great gift to them that you are making this gesture.

I left my 2 year old for a week and a half with my husband. (I did this with both kids actually) My kids were extremely attached, I put them to bed at night, they were very Mom-centric by nature, my husband didn't even always understand everything my 2-year old was saying, etc. They did great while I was gone, things that they normally insisted that only wanted 'mom' to do for them when I was around went just fine when Dad was the only option! ;D (Both of my kids quit nursing right before their second birthdays so that wasn't an issue for us.) My husband was completely busy and crazed but he really appreciated the Dad-only bonding time. He is a very involved guy but does things different than I do. Sometimes I think it is nice for everybody to see that Mom's way isn't better than Dad's way, it's just different. It was also great for me to actually see that my husband rocks as a dad even when I am not there! (I mean I knew he was great before but now I don't even worry that in the event of an emergency he wouldn't be able to handle it!) The kids have grown to actually enjoy it when I have to leave for a few days! He is their dad, they are with a parent. I wouldn't look at it so much as leaving them as it is the kids get to spend ALL of their time with their dad while you get a Mom/daughter trip. I hope my daughter is able to spend some Mom/daughter time with me after she has kids! If you do want to talk to them daily I would just try to schedule it so that it isn't at bedtime or another time of the day that is normally spent only with you. I found my kids would get sad at night if I called but if I called during the day bedtime went just fine.

I co-slept. I know many people are against this but we both got more sleep and eventually I could put them to bed in my bed and get up and they slept perfectly even when I wasn't there. If you aren't against it maybe it's worth a try? checking the reflux idea seems like a great suggestion!

aWe do a version of this game at Christmas. (like a Dirty Santa but with dice and all of the presents start wrapped in brown paper and the holder of the item can decide if they are going to unwrap it or not, if they don't unwrap the gift cannot be unwrapped unless you steal it) Everyone participates and it is usually a favorite activity and talked about fondly throughout the year. Gifts are thought of for literally weeks in advance. (I'm the only person in my family who actually like shopping so this is a feat!) Kids and adults participate equally and the only thing off limits is live animals or "naughty" themed gift items. We usually keep a fun game or small item in reserve so that if one of the kids gets something not super we have a special ice cream or treat to make sure everybody has a good experience. I guess in my family we have fun because look at it as a game, a fun group activity with prizes as opposed to real presents. We have a pretty competitive but not mean spirited about the whole thing, nobody has ever even so much as teared up. Honestly, it is one of my favorite parts of Christmas. Love it.

I have a Blendtec. I have heard that the Blendtec is actually louder but I have never put it to a side by side with the Vitamix.I have used a Vitamix and while using it I didn't notice a huge noise difference but don't know for certain one way or another. They are loud but the noise is brief becuase of how fast you can blend anything. We LOVE our blender, it is the first blender that hasn't made me want to throw it away within 5 min. If you ever use a blender or have ever wanted to blend something but been completely dismayed by your current blender buy a Vitamix. (or Blendtec! ;))

Thanks! Sadly (in this case!) I am not taking any drugs/medications, don't have malaria, typhoid, etc. Ugh, sometimes the internet is a curse to sleep. I don't like it when you can narrow down all of the "acceptable" options and the ones left are hideous! :glare: Yes, I am hoping for a quicker appointment. much quicker!

Not books per se, but my 4 year old is crazy about comics. I do edit his options but for us older DC and Marvel comics have been a huge hit. The comic compilation books keep him busy on car rides for much longer periods of time than a huge stack of regular picture books. Picture books that are popular are Mo Williams, Curious Geoge, Mike Mulligan, Dr. Suess, Maurice Sendek, Art Book for Children, The Z was Zapped, the Trucktown books, the Lewis Carrol Poetry for Young People Book is the only poetry he currently is into, mostly really basic items that are on most bookshelves so this is probably not helpful for you! He is crazy about looking through my photography books so I have been busy moving things to higher shelves. For reading aloud we are doing Danny Champion of the World.

Unless it is a business contact who I know would want their information given out or information that is completely public, I check. Maybe I am crazy paranoid but I feel better being cautious with other people's personal information.I usually try to get the contact information of the person who is seeking contact and just give it to the person they wish to contact instead of passing out personal information. This way I am an intermediary going upstream but not handling any personal information that may be problematic. So I will simply say "Can you give me your email/phone number and I will give it to Person X." I then do actually give the information to Person X. If Person X never responds it is no longer in my sphere of influence. It changes depending upon the situation if I tell the person that I will be asking before I pass along the information. Most of the time I am pretty upfront with telling that I need to check first, or I will make a vague comment similar to 'Let me see what information or contact details I have of Person X's and get back to you.' Then if Person X does not want the information given out I simply may imply that I do have the information being sought. I realize this procedure may be a bit too close to lying for many but I personally, don't find harm in not sticking to the literal truth for the social good or feelings of others. Yes, I have given this much thought, probably because I am a freak. ;D

Ok, reasearching is making me crazy (and feeling like I need to go check my will immediately!) I have a low white blood cell count at 3.6 (the lab low normal end was 4.8) and I had this same count 5 months ago. My doctor didn't mention it until I looked at my chart and asked why my count was so low. He then decided to tell me that it can be a sign of leukemia, rattled off a few names of incredibly scary, incurable types of leukemia and that we should monitor it. At that point he chatted with me about literature and walked out of the room.Honestly, I felt like I was in shock and sort of froze through the whole literature conversation so I am sure it looked like I was incredibly calm. Not suprisingly, I am FREAKED out, like so freaked out I can't sleep freaked out. I called the nurse back to get the numbers explained to me and she said we should just monitor this, not worry about it, even if I have a problem it may not show up for years. Um, yeh. So I have an appointment in 3 weeks with a hematologist. (I called from the car today and that was the quickest they could get me in without it being a direct emergency. I will call a few more doctors tomorrow to get a quicker appointment.) I did not have a cold, flu, or infection that I am aware or had any signs of for either blood test so it doesn't seem to be a temporary thing. I am now vaguely aware of having low white blood cell counts two other times but both of those times (a few years ago) I actually had an infection and so I just assumed that was the cause. At this point I am sort of hoping for lupus however he ran a ESR test and it came back "normal." Ugh. Any thoughts? I honestly would never think to ask this question here normally but I can actually not sleep and my husband is gone so it's going to be a long night with WebMD and the Mayo website both of which are telling me to make a very short bucket list.

We also used the Cetaphil treatment. (My daughter is highly allergic to some of the ingredients in the typical lice treaments.) It actually worked: Frankly, I was shocked. I think the washing of linens, bagging of items, etc is also helpful even if only to provide peace of mind!

Does this mean that by reading Austen I will want my husband to be more like Mr. Darcy and lead to unrealistic expectations in our relationship?

We lived in SA for a while. Honestly, we left Joburg for the Cape Town area as quickly as possible. I found Joburg to be an incredibly intimidating place. If the situation was simple robbery or pickpocketing I wouldn't think twice about staying there, however, often the robbery turns into robbery with assault and the pickpocketing is a mugging at gunpoint. I do think that they have been working incredibly hard to lower crime but for me it isn't comfortable enough. If possible, I would go visit to get an idea of the location and crime situation. I personally, just don't like living long-term in an area that is so volatile and I found it difficult to live day-to-day there. There are many wonderful things to love about SA. I think this is the sort of balancing act that must be done on an individual basis. I really loved our time in SA and as soon as we can fit it in we are planning to go back for several months to a year but we won't go back to stay in Joburg. On the multiracial thing I can't give an accurate assessment. Multiracial people make up a high percentage of the SA populace and my husband's good friend in SA is in a multiracial family but he has never brought it up as being a particular issue. I did find that in genera, SA was incredibly less PC than the US or what I am used to, the slang and toys/names/restaurant decor/jokes seemed to reflect this difference. While I was there I was told several jokes and heard many comments focusing on race, including multiracial references, from acquaintances both white and black. (this was always in professional settings and not told as part of a private conversation with just me etc.) This is only my perception about my relatively brief time living there.

Bosch. Love it and we don't rinse. (If your Bosch isn't cleaning well maybe contacting an appliance repair guy would help? We had some problems at one point and had to get our top rack spinner thing-I think that's the technical term-replaced. Our detergent wasn't rinsing and the dishes weren't getting clean hence the call, but after the replacement, perfection!)

I can really relate to your daughter! When I was 16/17 I went for over a year with a migraine. I went to a ton of doctors (even Mayo, how weird is that?) They often did seem to focus on medication. The medications helped at times but overall left me feeling fuzzy because I was taking them daily. I kept a diary of triggers which is hard when the headache is daily, I started noting things that seemed to make it worse, lights, weather, food, anything at all. I tried acupuncture and while I LOVED it and would keep it up for the fun alone it didn't help my head long term. I would try it though if you haven't. I also did extensive biofeedback "training" to help with relaxation etc. I am not sure if this would work for everyone but it really helped me and I still do it daily. I had the dentist recheck my alignment and had a retainer for a while. Is her menstrual cycle a trigger? I also tried BCP for any potential relief. (though often they are a trigger) I found switching doctors was helpful because sometimes different doctors in the same system had unique ways of looking at the issue. I did end up seeing a psychiatrist for a while to help with some of the mental effects of dealing with long term pain, it sounds crazy, but it can be a more draining experience than expected. (more so than I expected and I was the one dealing with the pain!) Having my neck/back adjusted actually made my headaches worse. (if you believe in chiro care go for it, if ANYTHING helps I would do it! Honestly however, it was completely useless to me and did absolutely nothing that was promised) I did all of the typical stuff, drank lots of water, worked on destressing, made sure my caffeine intake was regulated, watched foods, slept on a regular schedule not too long and not too short, watched my blood pressure, tried vitamins etc. Honestly, I think you just have to not give up which can be unbelievably hard. I still get the occasional headache but I do believe that because I spent literally 5 years dealing with it I have some resources that help, biofeedback, knowing triggers, medication when necessary, not living at certain altitudes, etc. Best wishes to your daughter. Ugh, I wish I had something more helpful to say than "Sorry, headaches really suck. I wish you the best and will be thinking about you."

Thanks for all of the input. I have to admit that I am starting to get very, very tempted to just go for it and get a Newfie! I really need a dog that can be taught not to chew on everything, I live important stuff around all of the time and frankly, I am not sure I can be taught to put it away. (this is one reason I love border terriers, they just can't be bothered with my boring shoes or furniture and only want their toys!) Most of the time we aren't in a hot climate and we always have a big yard/water nearby. I think I can attempt to handle the fur, we don't have carpet so cleaning may be tolerable even if it is a daily event. (my floors could probably use a bit more diligence anyway. ;)) I am a bit concerned about the level of wet fur in the vehicles... I am a little worried about the size, they just feel so much bigger to me than a Shepherd! I think we will have to stagger dog ages if we get one so that the kids are never completely dogless. (though I do know that any loss of a dog is hard, especially if it is "your" dog, I always found having a dog around was helpful.) Hmm...now to really see how much my husband loves me: Does he love me enough to get a puppy this year? :D

Zappos rocks my world.

Any thoughts on actually adding one to the family? I am worried because we have a Border Terrier who LOVES other dogs but who acts like a crazed lunatic when seeing them, barking and running around them in circles. (until he gets to play with them and then he is happy for hours. Would this drive the poor Newfoundland mad?) We can handle dirt, slobber and fur. We have a full acre yard that is fenced in and easy regular access to lakes or the ocean. (though not on our property) Overall we are pretty active and the dog would get to run around the yard daily with very physical children but may not get taken on daily walks. (though would get included in park visits etc.) I have two children who love animals, my daughter already has a dog (the Border Terrier) who she cares for obsessively so I am not worried that my children will not "help" with the dog. I am looking for a dog that would be my son's "officially" but obviously would be part of the family. He really wants a big dog and I had German Shepherds/Labs growing up so I have had some experience with larger dogs. Thought on Newfoundlands? How much training should I prepare for? Is it three years of insanity before they grow up? Would they be ok with just yard playtime and house time or would we really have to make a huge effort to provide rigorous directed exercise daily? I know a reputable breeder and family friends have three who I have had positive experiences with but I have not spent long amounts of time with the breed.

To the camera shop! Or if the problem isn't easily solved contact Duclos lenses! (I love Duclos!)

If you order online you can get tons of different jean options. For example Levi's are available in several styles that are not often in stores and are available at the levis.com site and other sites. Straight leg jeans are super popular on many sites; I don't see how trouser jeans can be portrayed by anyone as "slutty" or "standing on the street corner" style and I see them for sale at many places. Boyfriend jeans are usually very loose fitting and if your daughter is 5'4 she should be able to move into women's sizes right?(I am 5'4 and can find jeans, I do find it necessary to occasionally get them professionally hemmed) Bootcut jeans still are the most popular style in terms of number of sales in the United States. If you are having problems buy jeans were older women buy their jeans, Talbots or LL Bean maybe? However, you probably don't want to listen to my jeans input. I often wear super skinny jeans and have been known to wear 5 inch heels with them. The horror! :lol:Maybe this is why I don't have a problem finding clothes for my daughter? I just have bad taste! :lol: Seriously, though I hope you find jeans that your daughter likes, not finding jeans that make you happy is irritating!

MOA is actually my local, hometown mall. I wouldn't think twice about bringing my child there. (well unless they hated shopping) It is big but unless you are in the general food court area or parts of the amusement park etc it is often not really crowded. (though opening hunting may be a busy day) If you feel crowded it often helps to walk on one of the top levels. I also wouldn't eat at the general food courts because those can be busy and overwhelming. If you want to avoid restaurants I would actually eat at Nordstroms; either their coffee bar or Marketplace cafe. (the coffee bar has sandwiches etc, and the cafe has a kids menu under $6 and individual items are reasonable. Plus the bathrooms are nicer and quieter!) If you bring coats you can rent lockers so you don't have to carry them around. (they start at $6 but I don't know what you can leave on the bus) Also, if you want to see Ikea it is easily walkable from MOA. If you follow MOA on their blog, facebook or twitter you can be alerted to special events or discounts available.