Wow! That is awful! I am so relieved though that you are okay.

I am not a fan of all the hallmark holidays. We give a gift on Mother's Day and when there were grandpas, Father's Day as well. Good enough.

We hate them. They are often long, stuffy, and exhausting the way they are done here. My mom was so done in after my dad's funeral, burial, and dinner, that I vowed so would never do one for her. It didn't help that the pastor of their church took 45 minutes of the service to preach an apocalyptic, get saved sinners, message complete with a long rant about rape that sent three relatives into the foyer with panic attacks. Sigh. Our current plan is when mom and mil pass, immediate family only potluck gathering, visiting with on another, sharing memories, singing their favorite songs. No pastor, noe one from their church or the wider community invited, private graveside service for mom (she pre-paid), cremation for mil. We will she a memorial card to their churches. I am sure some folks are going to be offended. However, er have been down this road many times before with exhaustive funerals, and just don't have the energy or mental bandwidth for them anymore. And of course it doesn't help that immediate family is spread out all over this country, so to do anything, there is a lot of traveling involved, and a big service means for most of them, they spend all day with strangers and not being able to visit with us because we have this huge thing to deal with. Something very private and informal sounds just right for the needs of the people who will be mourning the hardest.

Update: I entitle this episode: "When Apple Trees Attack" I am on my third five gallon bucket of apples. I have 14 quarts of dried apples and by the end of this bucket, 7 more. I have given away a dozen apples, and need to find someone who wants to come pick. I have fallen apples that would be great for livestock and have called around, but no one willing to come get them. I am tired of apples, and do not want to spend hours making applesauce at the end of dehydrating. I also had an epiphany. Now I am sure all of you know this, have thought to do this, because, well ya'll aren't ignorant plant serial killing gardeners like me, but this was a new thought for my brain. Why am I making compost in the big holes around my raised beds so that I have to then dig it up in the spring and dump it into the raised beds? Except for the garlic, some scallions, and the cherry tomatoes and tomatillos, all the other plants have been pulled. Just put the apple peelings and grass clippings IN the raised beds and mix it up, let it compost in there. Duh. Sigh. Why is this whole learning curve on growing food so darn hard for me? Ugh. So now I have one 4x2 bed being filled, and in a couple days the other beds will be completely harvested and the plants pulled, so all of them can begin getting kitchen and yard refuse. In October, leaves will start dropping so I can add them to the beds, mix it up with my trowel, and hopefully won't need to fertilize the soil in the spring before planting. I am in awe of my honey crisp tree! I also feel like she is some sort of Marvel Comic tree and is growing apples overnight so that I am never done. I think I will be surrendering soon. I have some more 5 gallon buckets. I would pick up all the semi- decent ones on the ground and take them to a cider mill if I knew of one that would process them for me for a fee. However, so far I have not found a place that does that.

My condolences to UK and the Commonwealth. I am very sorry for your loss, and the uncertainty you face with a change over in both monarch and prime minister. For what it is worth, I think King Charles will be pretty good at the job.

Evil, bad, no good @##$$%&%$$#@@#$&& squirrels! Squirrels are supreme actors, Academy Award winners. They act innocent and stupid, but inside, they are really devious mini-coons.

Milkweed is great. I let a large patch grow on our property this year and have enjoyed the butterflies and pollinators. I have had some butterflies I couldn't identify so I need to get a little guidebook to keep with my gardening supplies. I did have two Monarchs and am quite proud of that achievement.

Oh boy! 😱😱😱 The other thing too is that it is important to help kids learn the types of things that are simply not okay to share. Privacy can be a hard topic to help children grasp the nuances. We puke with you, Rosie! 😁

You win the World Photography award, and we bow to your skills!

No idea. I seriously do not know what any plant wants except a vague idea of soil and water! 😂😂😂 But I can tell you that my tomatillos this year are 4.5 ft tall, and there are four of them with easily 50 tomatillos out there and probably more. I haven't counted. We had hot weather in July. Michigan hot which is 80-90 with MAYBE three days over 90 certainly not more than a week. It was dry so I did water them and I was generous. I would seriously soak them, usually out after dark so they couldn't see it was me 😉, and with the hose just pouring, no soaker hoses or drip system. June and August have been 70-80 nearly every day. They are ripening now and it is getting down to 55-60 at night. Wait let me put this all in C. Okay, So June 21-26, July mostly 26-32, August 21-26, and now 23-25 during the day, 12-16 at night. Sunny skies. Still watering since we haven't had a good rain in a while, but I am also not doing that more than 2-3 times a week. They are in a raised bed and not in the ground. It is loamy, top soil which had a bag of compost mixed in back in the spring. Store bought junk compost, not anything really nice like organic, local farm compost, or my own kitchen compost. And having successfully grown the things, I know no more about them than I did when I started! I am seriously inept. BUT, I am having fun, and getting a lot of satisfaction out of little victories. So I don't know what to say about your tomatillos. I suspect mine may have had a huddle, discussed their situation after I bought them from the nursery, decided on some sort of Navy Seal survivalist approach, claimed no plant shall be left behind, and marched out of imminent danger heads held high. I would not be shocked if plants talked to themselves like that behind my back! Survival by spite. 😅

Thanks for that help! I nerd all the advice I can get!

Wow! He is such a prince! 😜.Good grief. I am just so glad you got out.

I can understand that too. I just meant when possible try to redirect. It is difficult to maintain emotionally in these situations. Hugs!

I just scored something great and free for my gardening efforts next year. I needed a new raised bed because the four tomatillo plants turned into a rainforest whose canopy cast too much shade for the other plants nearby. Those crazy things got so tall and prolific it was just like a mini forest. They are beginning to ripen, finally, so by the end of next week, I will be able to harvest a whole bunch. So I have been thinking about what kind of raised bed to build them. Well the neighbor has a practically brand new very long, deep horse water trough that he doesn't want, and was just going to put it out to the road. So I asked about, and it is now in my back yard. It has a big drain plug so the plants can't get water logged, but otherwise also no entrance for weeds. SCORE!!!! Since it is high and I don't need 3 ft deep of top soil, I am going to fill the bottom with logs to take up some of the space, and then fill with soil and compost. Note to self. Grow cilantro next year so I don't have to go seek it out when the tomatillos are ripe, and it is time to make verde. Also, get them into the raised bed sooner so they do not ripen at the exact same time that the apple tree is ready because at this point all I do is process harvest, and I am getting a little tired of my kitchen.

100% this Unfortunately, we lose so much control when we are separated from the other parent, that we can't just stay on the hook for things we simply cannot do a thing about when gaining objective opinion/advice/perspective from outside the relationship can help the child cope.

It isn't cruel because you can't be objective. It is actually healthier to redirect to people who can be more objective.

You are doing great, Heart! Ignore that jackass as much as possible. You can't fix his stupid, and he can just keep the girlfriend to himself. You do you. Personally, I think he is a lazy ass parent. He found out it isn't all rainbows and unicorns to single parent, and now he is trolling for a woman to do his job for him. He can take the consequences for that which is likely another woman who leaves him because he is a p.o.s. Just remind the kids that if they need to share about his woman drama, they should not do that with you, and to bring it up with their counselor, their priest, a godparent, the guidance counselor at school, etc. Be nice about it, but nip it in the bud. And again, you're doing great!!!

Ha ha ha!!!! My dog do something useful????? So funny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I am fairly sure Lewis thinks work is beneath him. 😁

It definitely definitely goes community by community. Some have a lot of resources and services, some not. Ours had almost nothing. My father was on hospice for two weeks before he did. We saw the nurse once. She came at the beginning to talk us through it, order his pain meds, and make sure the hospital bed and commode was delivered before he came home from the hospital. No other kind of care or assistance was offered except a grief support group for mom. We didn't even have the offer of a CNA for sponge bath or anything else. Mom was disabled and basically the nurse said either the offspring or some other relatives had to move in and take care of him or he could go to the nursing home. I am not a natural born nurse - medical anxiety since my car accident and not good at it to begin with so bam - and my dad had been abusive to me in the last years of his life so I had zero interest or ability to manage such intensive, physical care. Mom couldn't lift him or do any of it either. But my sister insisted he be at home so she had to do the care. Thankfully, he slept all the time, and didn't last long or it would have ruined her health because she was barely strong enough to lift him. The nurse did come to call time of death and be with us when his body was taken by the funeral home. Again, very kind person. She even came to his funeral. But apart from the first visit and then coming when he died, meds, and medical equipment he needed, nothing else was provided. My grandmother died on hospice, but in her assisted living home. They had two CNA's and one LPN on staff 24/7 so we had no physical care of her, and did not need to be there 24/7 nor was she alone when she died. I never even met the hospice R.N. I think my mom did. But again, not a negative experience.

Yes this! The callous, heartless, and merciless attitude covid deniers and their anti-do anything proponents have is so dehumanizing. And if they economy is all they care about or social program costs, then they are really just denying the costs. Many of those million lost were caregivers. It is estimated in the first year alone, 30,000 or more children in this country lost a primary care giver or after school giver because grandparents are relied upon so heavily. Millions have long covid and will have to draw disability. The feds had to hire a large number of new workers just to process applications and handle the massive influx of recipients. That is millions of workers who didn't return to work. The cost is astronomical, and well outside the boundaries of normal death rates and disability claims as well as bodies leaving the work force in any regular year. It is astounding to me how incredibly self centered this country has become. The mentality is revolting.

That is amazing! Sadly, we have our cocker spaniel, a cat, two little grandsons, and a nephew who visits often with his dogs so I can't grow one.

This is a good plan! 😁

This just breaks my heart! So preventable. I am not a supporter of religious freedom to this extent at all. A parent's right to believe does not trump a child's right to live. Measles will likely make it here sooner or later. The stats for my county indicate there will be carnage and casualties when it does. My local elementary school has 12% of students there unvaxed on religious waivers. Though there are a couple of schools with 0% waivers, and a few with just a very small percentage 3-4%, there are religious schools with unforgiveably ridiculous waiver rates. And it should be noted the covid vaccine is NOT a required childhood vaccine. We are talking about DTaP, Polio, Chicken Pox, MMR, and HIB being the required ones for school enrollment. Here are the rates for three parochial schools within a 30 minute drive of my house, these are the waiver rates thus the percentage of UNvaxed students. 87%, 66.7%, and 72.5%. 😭.The one around the corner from us refuses to report to the state. From talking with the pastor of the church that runs it - someone whose children are vaxed fully to protect their little brother with an immune disorder - I can make a pretty solid, educated guess that 75% of the students have had no childhood immunizations. He homeschools his kids, but that isn't going to protect them long living on the same property as that school, and people walk across tp the parsonage all the time to try to speak to him or his wife. His kids play on the playground equipment. He may have to put them into a total lockdown if it or polio hits Michigan. The stats just kill me. The public elementary near me is bad enough but still a fairly good, protective herd immunity. But those parochial schools are just going to be super spreaders, and these are diseases with frightening maim/kill rates. Every community will know children who have died or been immune compromised from measles, left with devastated health and disabilities. I weep for Zimbabwe's children, and I weep for the children here. So many parents blinded by dangerous conspiracy theories and religious fervor. 😢😢😢

You need to invest in a telephoto lens. We approve of this purchase! 😁

We are roughly 5a here but due to proximity to Lake Huron which provides a little insulation, quasi 5B even though interior of the lower peninsula is 4-5a. What I am doing with my spaces that will be garden next year is raking all my fall leaves and grass clippings into the beds and then laying cardboard down on top which will be waited down with logs. I will peel up the cardboard in the spring and rototill. This is supposed to add nitrogen back. I have dug three large holes elsewhere and am filling with grass clippings and vegetable/fruit refuse from the kitchen. When 2/3 full, I'll stir in some of the dirt, and let mother nature take its course. I can't plant until May so I figure they will have two or three months now of composting before temps are too low, and then another month to six weeks in the spring. I will add to the in ground garden plot, and to the raised beds and wait a week or two before planting so it hopefully marries together well without any major labor on my part. My gardening has to be relatively easy or it tends not to happen. I can't fuss around plants. I have to just let them exist without handling. I try not to speak to them. I have always been the grim reaper of green things. Plants have been known to commit acts of self destruction just for knowing that I am their caretaker. So I have to put them in their ground or container, and then not go near. If they have to be watered, I do it from a distance, and only begin venturing to them when their is produce to be gleaned. Therefore take anything I say about gardening under advisement and with deep suspicion! 😁 and yes, I am proud of the fact that we ate produce from our raised beds this year courtesy of me finally getting the grim reaper under control.