After everything that has happened, we are trying to get back on track. Our appetites have not been great. Yesterday: Coffee war, no breakfast. Salads for lunch. Didn't taste good which had nothing to do with the salads, and everything to do with being a really tough day. Refried bean burritos topped with grilled veggies, black beans, salsa, and some Greek yogurt.

The younger generations think more clearly about things like public transport, car reliance in urban environments, the cost of car welfare, issues of stress on an aging grid, and what not. They are more interested in a variety of solutions, and do not a one size fits all. We need to get rid of the people in power who simply cannot think creatively. That said, I suspect that the politics behind ev's is to keep the automakers profitable. Public transport and car welfare benefit them greatly. Still ev's have a place in the solution, just a limited one where the grid is being upgraded and a reasonable portion of the electricity produced is coming from alternative energy. Nuclear isn't the only option, but definitely one to look at. For us, we can actually produce enough solar energy at both of our houses to cover the home charging station. We can keep a gas power car/hybrid minivan for road trips and van camping, but do all of our regular driving, the bulk of our driving, on an ev charged at home without increasing our power draw on the grid. If this country had been investing in solar beginning in the 80's instead of continuing to back oil companies, we would be in much better shape. It isn't a one size fits all plan, and certainly isn't going to work for northern climes so well, however, letting the perfect become the enemy of the good seems to be the norm in this nation. One thing to consider is just the upgrading of the power grid. 10% of electricity, and in some areas more due to how old the lines are, is lost in transmission. Our old, above ground lines produce a lot of heat, and require a ton of maintenance which in and of itself then uses a tremendous amount of fossil fuels to fix when one considers all the trucks transporting tools and crew, the manufacturing of replacement parts and lines, etc. Leadership at state and federal levels were warned about this 30 years ago. But they just passed the buck along, no action taken, and the powrr companies for whom greed is their only incentive, didn't volunteer to start fixing the mess. Sigh. Making the grid more durable with up to date technology is a win win for everyone in the long term, and does save power and emissions. There are so many things that while not being an individual solution, when combined, become a powerful tool for reducing emissions, producing higher oxygen environment and reducing pollution, and making us less fossil fuel reliant. From insulation in houses, new building techniques and materials, geothermal heat/cooling, green roofs (biomoss filtration) that reduce heat and bind heavy metals from car exhaust, ripping up parking lots and creating green parking which mitigates temperatures in urban heat islands, investing in rail which saves about 75% in emissions per ton of freight moved by truck, so many things that could be done. And we do have the money to do it, but instead of spending it on nine million ways to kill people with the D.O.D. while not taking care of veterans, we need to spend it at home on our infrastructure and helping home and building owners make these expensive changes. For 2024, just about half of all discretionary spending will be military, and it will total nearly 1 trillion dollars, 842 billion is the current estimate. Something to think about. I think every single president we have had has been nothing but pro big 3 automakers backed by a congress funded by oil and oil consuming hogs. Until that changes, we aren't going to get real action. All I can do is make my own home a bit of a haven, a place to enjoy as things get worse, a place with higher oxygenation and a home that is way easier to heat and cool just for the well being of our own family. I have no ability to solve it for everyone. More insulation for both houses, changing out some windows, earth tubes since we can't put in true geothermal due to the locations of the well and septic fields at each property, supplement with solar energy where we can, ripping out the lawn and growing moss in shade, heat resistant oxygen producing ground covers in the sunny spots so eventually we do not mow and produce more oxygen, have an EV which we produce the alternative energy to charge, and a hybrid for long distance driving, garden for our own health (it is amazing to me how much puttering with my raised bed gardens makes me happy and content, and makes me happy to just stay home), and advocate locally for more and more green spaces which helps sequester carbon and makes the local air cleaner. I don't have any candidates at a level of power who can actually make a difference to vote for, not until the old guard who will only ever advocate for status quo is forced out due to health or unfortunately, death. The things we are doing personally are not a one size fits all prescription for everyone, please do not take it that way.

Happy Anniversary!

Yes. Every student regardless of homeschool, public, or private should have legal access to their high school transcript. That could just be a law on its own, and a requirement in each state that the parent provide a transcript, keep records. Of course, parents who didn't do their jobs will lie about it, but it might be a place to start. If there was a financial penalty attached, maybe it would be a deterrent. The reality is no law that will make crappy parents be less crappy. All we can do is react after the craptasticness is brought to light. Plenty of ps kids have profoundly awful parents. But maybe we could say if they don't keep education records, they can be penalized. Some would step up that much if it saved them a $3000 fine or whatever. I also think part and parcel of this is a right at 18 to all legal records, birth certificate, social security card, etc. Nip that ultra nutty mess in the bud where some kids can't get jobs, financial assistance, etc. because they can't prove who they are. I would love it if every Amish parent in my state got nailed with a big fine and a lot of legal woes because their kids have no birth certificates. The local group refuses to apply for them for their home births, and for the Amish youth who do want to leave, it is a huge problem. They have no legal identity. But, this isn't a "homeschool bill of rights" per se. It should really simply be laws enacted to help ensure the rights of any new adult. I know kids in private, parochial schools who were home birthed and have no legal identity.

Jane, that sweater is absolutely lovely!

I think we need to work for a bill of rights for ps kids who seem to have exactly none. I do believe an education appropriate for the capabilities of the student, so for neuro typical kids, a fully preparatory high school diploma should be a right. For special needs and learning disabilities, the most robust as is reasonable, and ya, I know, Grey areas. Ps needs to be gutted and overhauled. This needs to be a priority, and be fully funded. I have no problem with decent homeschool guidelines and some measure of accountability. Children should not be pawns in the power trip war between parents and state. They deserve better, and since they cannot take care of themselves as adults without a proper education, it should be considered a fundamental, basic human right. How we get from country wide abject educational disaster to this, stumps me though because getting people to agree on anything is just nuts now.

If memory serves, I did 350° for 20 minutes ish.

I have done them, but not round. I just make up double batches of dough and spread on sheet pans, then ice with chocolate icing. The wording isn't hard if you choose to go simple, no scrolls. The bakery wanted quite a lot of money to make a 12" diameter cookie with the word congratulations on it. I saved a bundle just doing it myself. We served with ice cream, and it was very popular.

When we had six in 1200 square feet and one room had to be devoted to the music studio, it was very uncomfy, not cozy. But we needed the income from my teaching and performing. Now we have 4000 sq ft, but 2000 is unfinished because we decided not to spend anymore money on the house. The bottom has permanently fallen out of real estate here, and throwing money at the place is a lot like burning $100 bills for a bonfire. Now that it is just the two of us, it feels very very large. The Alabama house has 4000 sq ft, but we regularly host large family get togethers so there is a reason for the space. We wanted a huge kitchen for cooking for large crews and dining, plus bedrooms for our adult kids and their spouses/s.o.'s. I imagine at some point in retirement maybe one or two of them will take over hosting, and we will downsize.

East Michigan, doom, gloom, rain, and I can't stay warm or if I finally get enough layers on, I warm up but then get hot, tale a layer off, and start freezing again. I am so over this, I could scream. Michigan, we are begging you to pull it together!

In a pinch, I eat Panera Bread because I can get nice salads. I am not entirely meatless, so often I get the Mediterranean chicken bowl which is quinoa, arugula, cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, and black olives with some chicken and topped with hummus plus either Greek yogurt or sour cream. I usually make some stir fry rice and veggies to take, and have an Rtic cooler for the back seat. I also make broccoli pasta salad which Mark and I really enjoy when we road trip. If it is too cold or stormy to eat at a picnic table at a rest area or park, we just eat inside the car. Mark makes homemade gf bagels, and we keep peanut butter and cream cheese to go with them, and those are very filling. I make dehydrated fruits, and we take cashews and almonds, pretzels and hummus (I travel a LOT with hummus), veggie sticks, usually some cheese sticks, and I make gf cookies to take for a fun dessert. I have also been known to eat at Cracker Barrel if it is too nasty out to picnic, and I am tired. I get the country side platter which is six sides, and have cooked carrots, two of the pinto and beans, two of the green beans, and mashed potatoes without gravy. It comes with biscuits (which I can't have but Mark enjoys). Cracker Barrel coffee is pretty good so it makes an okay stop.

I am finally home from Alabama, and from Kalamazoo. Mark took excellent care of my seedlings. The cukes are looking great, so are the broccoli. But because I didn't realize that I should have started them three-year weeks sooner, they are small. The cherry tomatoes are too small to transplant. I will be going to my favorite nursery this week and purchasing transplants. But, I am happy that I tried to grow from seed, and have learned a lot. I will transplant these seedlings to pots/buckets as soon as they are large enough. The carrots, radishes, and green bean seeds are going in the beds this coming weekend. I wish I had been home to get the carrots in a lot sooner. Mark also found a cedar 8" deep 2 ft deep by 3ft long planter in a kit on sale at a farm place for $30. It had a beautiful shelf under it, very pretty. He put it together, and I will fill it with top soil, compost, and add some chicken manure pellets this week, let it all mix and get nice and nutrient dense. I am not sure what to put in it. Should I try my hand at garlic? I could put strawberries in it, but I also have space for 15 strawberry plants at the base of each panel of my other raised beds. I didn't have a plan for much salad green space, so maybe I should use this new space for that. Is butter lettuce hard to grow? It is my favorite salad leaf followed by spinach and then radichio (?sp). At any rate it has been cold and rainy so not a lot going on. This week temps are going to be in the 60's and lows in the 40's which is the warmest we have had. I will put the transplants in on Thursday, my first sunny day, and cover them at night to hold heat in with the hopes of getting that soil warmed up so they will grow. Current plan is 13 Amish Paste tomato plants, 4 cherry tomatoes, 3 cucumber, 12 broccoli, 4 jalapeno (need to make pesto and taco sauce), chives, green onion, a bed devoted to carrots and radishes, 6 bell pepper, 15 strawberry plants, two beds of green beans hoping to have 42-60 plants, candy onions grown in buckets, some baby red potatoes grown in buckets, cilantro, basil, and oregano in four hanging pots on my shepherd's hooks, and now whatever goes into the new planter. I won't have as much as I wanted, but we ran out of pallets and haven't found more. The 3x13x2.5 ft bed that was going into the middle of the yard in front of the blue spruce tree (my other large, sunny spot) can't happen until we find pallets, and if we don't find them soon, it will be too late unless I wait until mid-August and plant a fall, cool weather crop like peas, more broccoli, and some spinach or something. The rhubarb is up and going well. The black caps, which I have not had the heart to kill but are becoming an out of control menace, are threatening a bumper crop. I will probably harvest them, and then I really need to have a killing spree because the previous owners out them in right up against the brick part of the house, and they AR e breaking out the bricks, holding too much moisture against the house. The grapes look terrible, always do, but I am sure they will come back with a vengeance. The apple trees look fantastic. I am going to be engaging in some crazy picking this summer. Strawberry farm in June, blueberry farm and cherry orchard in July, and peach picking early August. I must be insane. Thankfully, we now have two dehydrators. I don't have freezer space for all of it, and I am NOT going to the work of canning fruit.

Update: I didn't make it very far down the road, maybe 30 minutes and then had a bereft phone call from dsil. He could hardly talk. The hospital had allowed the wrong funeral home to take custody of baby, apparently a snafu with another baby who had passed in the NICU. They were beside themselves, and simply unable to handle this. I turned around and drove back with the hospital on speaker phone the whole way because dsil had told them when they saw my phone number on caller ID they had to pick up and talk to me. I went mama bear, immediately was transferred to the right person, and very quickly the correct funeral home was notified, and they graciously went to the other funeral home at no charge, and picked up baby. The autopsy had been completed - we paid for that, I was going to own someone if she had been released without that done, but thankfully it wasn't that level of mix up. Then I went back and spent the day with them, and laid over at the boys' apartment. Last night we all had a good dinner together. Mama and daddy needed to be able to share their birth/delivery experience just like any set of parents, but hadn't felt safe to do that with anyone else so far because when they try with his family, they get clearly, physically uncomfortable. So the five of us sat around and just shared rather naturally, and I gave some post partum tips. One of my ds's said later, "That might have been more about my birth than I ever wanted to know, but they really needed to sit and talk through this naturally, like any recently birthed mom and dad would, so I sucked it up and tried to act normal." That made me chuckle. Oh, and the chaplain fund is providing several weeks of professional grief therapy for both of them. I am very grateful for that since they cannot afford it themselves. So,I am just now home with dh. We have had a good snuggle and cry together. Mil, in one of her startlingly most lucid moments of harking back to her years as first a NICU nurse (sick baby nurse back then) and a pediatric specialty nurse gave us some insight, based on some subtle things she could see from the photos, of what might have gone wrong, and how that might not have been caused by gene mutations that they carry. If she is right, that would be such good news because it could mean there is something that can be done, and maybe they can try again in the future with a high risk doctor and more monitoring. We will see. It will be quite a while before there is a report. There will be a private, small service later in the week, and we will go back for that. I am exhausted. Just so bone tired. But before this happened we made plans to meet with our eldest ds and dil for dinner. They have something to celebrate, both of them having writing that was accepted for publication and ds winning a writing award. I do not want to cancel this. In the midst of the heartsick, it is good to have something else to think about, something to celebrate and enjoy. And they really scaled back their celebration from a party with a lot of family and friends, to just dinner with Mark and I in honor of their little niece, and not wanting to take a large number people away from focusing on their sibling and sibling in law, an action that is so very thoughtful. So dinner tonight, and then I swear I am going to collapse, and tomorrow I am doing exactly NOTHING, but cuddling on the couch with Mark and watching movies. Thank you everyone. I can never express how much your support and kind, loving words mean to me!

Thank you everyone. I got up at 5 am, and was to my sons' apartment by 10 am. I picked up one of them, and we went to spend an hour with dd and dsil. I held them both for a while, made lunch, took ds back to the apartment, and in a minute, will hit the road for our house which is 3 hrs away. Holding them and listening to their sobs nearly ripped my heart out of my chest. I don't know if it was even helpful, or if my presence made things worse. Maybe if I had not gone, they could have had a numb day without the emotional exhaustion. Maybe it was needed. I don't know. Our eldest, Dd and dsil, sent a gift basket of door dash cards, an beautiful picture frame for A's hospital footprints, and post partum items that will help mommy heal and be more comfortable physically. The drive home is going to feel worse than yesterday. Thankfully, dh's arms will be waiting.

Thank you. We checked them out, and Tears is helping so is SEOLE. Then another local one that is connected to the hospital. I am thankful for these resources. It is so gut wrenching to me to think of daddy spending his day making these arrangements.

Thank you Rosie. Good reminder. Keep it simple, carbs for energy, nothing too difficult to process. I made it to Dayton. I was just too exhausted to go further. I am in a hotel, and will make the rest of the trip tomorrow. Baby A was 38 weeks + 3 days. We did pay for the testing so hopefully there will be some answers for them. Three foundations plus relatives on both sides are contributing for cremation and an urn. Mamma had a very bad delivery (baby came so fast after they turned the pitocin on that her poor body had no time to prepare, and she tore very very badly). Our goal at this time is caring for her physical and mental health needs, and papa as well. I have no idea if we will eventually gather for any kind of memorial. This is a one day at a time thing. When I get back, I will be coordinating from home for a couple of days. Our two bachelor sons, one of whom was going to be A's godfather, are spending the weekend caring for mommy and daddy. I will spend a day or two resting, get some appointments rescheduled at home for me and for mother in law, and then spend a week with them. After I leave, baby A's auntie on her father's side is going to come. The hospital arranged for a photographer to come, and they have some beautiful photos of her, and the nurses did hand and foot prints on nice paper. I think the photos were covered by the chaplains benevolence fund, but I could be wrong about that. If they end up being charged for the pictures, Mark and I will pay that bill. It is really important for them to keep those photos.

Thank you, Cintinative, I will check that out.

Thank you, I will ask about that.

I won't be posting for a few days everyone. Our grandbaby, A, was born stillborn last night. We are all reeling, and trying to figure out all the ways we need to support her parents. The next few days are going to be a blur, and more about getting through than worrying about an eating plan. I hope everyone else is having a much better life at the moment. Lots of love to you, my friends.

I am at a rest area eating a little something. Not much appetite, but I need to stay alert. Thank you all so much. The Hive is always so supportive! Baby A is covered by medicaid because though her parents work full time, they do not have employer provided health insurance. The hospital billing department said Medicaid will not pay for any testing to find out the cause. They have had two miscarriages prior to losing A. I strongly suspect a clotting issue potential, and I think it is vital that they get answers. I am so tired of our effed up excuse of patchwork, chaos, for profit "healthcare". They are having her cremated to save money for testing, but must get the cash to the hospital asap for it to happen. Mark sent them a lump sum, enough to satisfy the hospital, and then Mark and I will send more. Our sons and daughter are contributing as well for their little niece. Hopefully, we can pull enough together to get it all done. It is ridiculous that in a country this rich, people hate others so much, they are unwilling to change the system to cover things like this. The United States of America needs to hang its head in abject shame.

Thank you everyone. I made it ten miles and had to pull over and cry. I am drinking coffee and trying to pull myself together.

I am just gutted. I don't know how to comfort my daughter and son in law. (This daughter is not officially ours but would have been had she been available for adoption.) We are Marmee and Papa Mark to little A. I am leaving in a while to drive home from Alabama so I can be there to take care them when they get home from the hospital tomorrow. We don't know why she died. I am worried that the doctors and pathology will not look for the cause because our daughter is on Medicaid because both she and her husband's full time jobs do not provide medical insurance. I am not in a good place emotionally at the moment. I also need to be strong for them.

Not wrong!

I'm the coon!!!! It makes Mark insane. I have to tell him to back off.

Acoustic basic playing or will he pursue Classical Guitar. I am a fan of breedloves. For classical, I love the sound of the Cordobas.