Are you close enough with the host to tell them you won't be having the cocktail? If they like making signature drinks, they might like the challenge of making a mocktail version of it. Assuming the other guests at this party are polite people, I think it would be enough to say, "Alcohol just doesn't agree with me since I've gotten older". Which is basically true; something in your outlook has changed and you don't want to have it anymore. Only a boor would press the issue. My lack of participation in Mommy Wine Brunches has definitely impacted relationships, but it's typically only one symptom of underlying incompatibility. And honestly, you are a really interesting person; if these women can't find something to talk about with you without the aid of booze, then they are dull and it's 100% a them problem. True, but I'm one of those people that is impaired after only 1 drink. One glass of wine with dinner would make me a danger on the road.

Not just midwestern; I've seen that dynamic in my corner of Texas. Hunting, fishing, camping trip: kids run wild, dad is busy being outdoorsy/half in the bag, and mom is responsible for cooking, washing, kid watching. Doesn't sound like much fun to me. My FOO does an east coast variation on this: apple or pumpkin picking at a u-pick farm at least an hour from home. The day ends with cranky, sticky kids, dad wandering off for a nap, and mom angrily making dinner, bathing kids, making pies, cleaning the kitchen while dad snoozes.

I don't drink, either. Most people won't care or notice if you don't have alcohol. If the booze is incidental to the event, it won't matter if you have soda or water instead. If all of the events have booze at the center, then that could be tricky with some friendships. Some of the younger women in my family are big into Mommy Wine culture and all of the social events have booze as the main feature. Not my scene, so I don't attend those events.

After MIL dies, the situation won't improve. It will only switch to "FIL/SIL/the niblings are having such a hard time without MIL. It would be mean to not include them/go on that trip with them/see them every weekend/etc". Put your foot down now. You get to be happy, too.

I've recently restarted this. My son was taking a really long time to get work done, so I sat him next to me to see where things were going off the tracks.

I'm glad you got to see her, @popmom ❤️

This place was very important to me when I was working through big family issues. Sometimes, I think it helped more than therapy. I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share with us. ❤️

Fun socks Mittens/gloves

I'm so sorry. My mother has done this to me as well. Solidarity. ❤️

Independent work doesn't come for a few more years for many, many kids. My 15 yo has only been able to reliably work independently since September. I write out a daily assignment list on the white board and I can trust that he'll work on it rather that play with the cat or daydream, lol.

Most people do not view texting as formal, written communication. They view it as casual conversation. This has nothing to do with being from New York. I grew up in NY, splitting my time between Queens and the suburbs. Women call each other sweetie sometimes there, too. I've been called sweetie, doll, dolly, hon, bubbie, bubbalah, and sugar by women of all ages. I've also been "Hey girl!"-ed by women my age (50s). I feel like you're looking for offense where there is none.

Picked up an advent calendar, a few stocking stuffers, and a couple of books. DS has no idea what he wants. Neither does DH. My extended family is difficult to buy for, but also gets very upset if they don't receive a gift. 🙄 Everyone is getting food and if they don't like it, better luck next year!

Some people are just snotty and critical. 🤷‍♀️ When you said one was a mechanic and the other an anesthesiologist, I thought "Wow, BIG culture differences!". That's probably at the root of it all. The in-laws might feel very insecure that their child has chosen someone so outside of their "class" and wonder what it means. Is she trying to "steal" our child away? Does she think she's better than us because she can afford that big, fancy house? Putting down her particularness about food is a way of taking back some power over the situation. "You might have all that fancy book learning, Dr Know-it-all, but at least I can relax and have a burger and beer every once in a while!" One side of my family is blue-collar and the other white-collar. Both sides snark on the other side regularly. It's exhausting.

Hmmm...I do have a ThredUp credit on my account...

My son's algebra performance improves with me sitting next to him. Just sayin'... 😉

I think you can wear black to a wedding as long as you make it look "fun" and celebratory in some way: bright cardigan, colorful jewelry, bright belt and shoes, etc.

I got lucky and found 2 big bags of "good" candy for 50% off, (Twix, Reese's, KitKat, etc.). The people in this town are like vultures and I normally never find anything good! The pharmacy gave DS15 and me $10 coupons when we got our covid shots. I'm using the free $20 for treats for stockings. I wish I knew they were doing that when I got our flu shots 2 weeks ago! I bought our Thanksgiving turkey today. The store runs a deal where if you buy a ham, you get a 12 lb turkey for free. The small hams and turkeys go really fast, but I was able to get a 5 lb spiral ham and a 12 lb turkey for $26. I might go back and see if there's another small one of each to freeze for Christmas. I bought a couple of books to set aside for Christmas during BetterWorldBooks 40% off sale.

Two cups of coffee in the am, and a hot drink in the evening. Sometimes it's herbal tea, sometimes it's only hot water with lemon. I have Raynaud's phenomenon and the evening hot drink is really more about warming my hands than anything else.

I guess I'm low class/a cheap date, because I'd be pretty happy if someone took me to Cheesecake Factory or Red Lobster. Or any of those restaurants, really. I've been on several first dates where I didn't realize it until halfway through the date. I'm very relieved to know this has happened to someone else!

I managed to find 6 books for our family for just under $23. I need to keep a list going for the next time a good deal comes up!

Thank you! Of course, I cannot think of anything I want!

Is it a small business? If so, yes; this was a test to make sure you weren't a total maniac, didn't show up drunk/high, knew to dress appropriately for the job, were polite, didn't show up late, had reliable transportation, etc.

Not-girlfriend's mom sure is breathing life into this relationship. ETA: I would not pull my son from this activity. Based on what the op has described, he's not doing anything wrong. I'd let the instructor(s) know they have my blessing to make sure son and not-girlfriend are seated apart. And then I'd keep son busy busy busy so that he doesn't have much time for chatting with not-girlfriend, and let the whole thing fizzle out over the holiday season.

I had a 4-hour working interview at a veterinary ER, but it was paid. It isn't uncommon for vet med to have working interviews because a lot of techs have OJT rather than a degree. Quality of OJT varies considerably; some people have been taught bad/sloppy habits.

Has anyone asked FIL what he wants?