What's the end goal for your daughter's sport? Is she Olympic level good or simply a talented hobbyist? Is there a hope that she'll be good enough to land a scholarship for college one day? I would not put all my eggs in that basket, if that is the case. A lot can change between now and college time. There are a LOT of family resources tied up in supporting her sport, and I wonder if it is to the detriment of the rest of the family. How much time is spent with the boys beyond chores, schoolwork, doctors? I firmly believe that the foundation for successful homeschooling is the relationship between parent and child. If you want to homeschool all the kids, then you need to do less outside activities and more at-home relationship building, IMO. I am not a sports or dance mom, but what I have seen from other families tells me that the parental load does not necessarily decrease as the kids get older. It shifts to other areas. You may have fewer uniforms to wash but you now have further to drive for competitions, more expensive camps to fund-raise, etc. What's the worst that happens if you bring everyone home and simply stop doing all these outside activities?

It would be easier to list the processed foods we still eat vs list everything we don't do: -kraft mac and cheese (DS15 polishes off a box of this daily!) -canned baked beans once a week -pretzel sticks with DH's lunch every day -diet sodas for DH -mayo -canned refried beans once a week -trail mix -deli meat for DH's lunches -occasional splurges like Halloween candy -bread crumbs That's about it. It sounds hardcore, but honestly, it's not. DH is the biggest consumer of processed foods here because he's toddler-level picky. I've made some progress there, but I'm probably never going to be able to nudge him into 100% healthy eating. If you make almost everything from scratch, you don't have to watch the salt and sugar content so carefully. There is so much salt and sugar in processed foods because it tastes like garbage without it. If you eat mostly processed foods, you're always going to get too much sugar and salt. Take away the processed foods, and now you can have a slice of cake or pie without too much fretting about the sugar. And I never think about food dyes because the only time we have them is in candy at the holidays, and we all prefer chocolate anyway!

It seems to be a year round display

No, nothing like that around me. Every once in a while, there's a church sale that you can set up a table, but it seems more social event than real sale. Everything was priced oddly high? There's a Plato's Closet about 45 minutes from here, but it's almost entirely college-girl clothes (it's near a university). They don't deal in kid's clothes at all. I even tried to give away a kid's winter coat and couldn't get any takers! It looked basically new because DS wasn't one of those wrestle-and-dig-in-the-dirt kind of kids. I can't imagine passing up a free coat! 🤷‍♀️ His coat actually fit me but was too short in the arms, otherwise I would have kept it, lol

We're out in the country, so no consignment stores near me. I've offered his outgrown clothes to people with younger/smaller kids, but they aren't interested. Seems weird to me because DS isn't a rough and tumble kind of guy; his clothes are really gently worn. I don't get it, but I've always been out of sync with people around here, so there's probably some cultural cue about hand-me-downs that I'm missing.

That's crazy! Now I'm kicking myself for donating DS15's old clothes instead of trying to flip them on Ebay.

To piggyback off this, maybe a 2-year degree is something to look into? I had a 2-year programming degree, BUT I also had 4 years' experience to help me get my foot in the door. My experience mattered way more than my degree, (though that was a long time ago). @cintinative Does he have any kind of connections that can get him an internship or low-level job to put on a resume?

I've been considering cancelling my Target card because their prices are crazy, so we never shop there now. I stopped in there once for TP since I was passing by, saw the $40 price tag, and walked back out.

The companies expect he'll learn some of this on his own. If he knows 3 languages, he'll be able to learn others pretty easily. That's kind of how this field is; you'll get some formal training opportunities at jobs, but there's a lot of expectation that you will do some learning on your own. Also, job postings will say "The idea candidate will have experience with..." and list every possible software package, language, platform, etc known to man. Apply anyway, even if your skills don't match up exactly. It's not hard to pick up new coding languages. I no longer work in software development, but my husband is a Linux engineer that has transitioned over to AWS architecture.

@2ndGenHomeschooler I started this book tonight. Maybe you can see if your library has it. The Price You Pay for College

I wish I could like your post a dozen times. A lot of this private school "aid" isn't really a scholarship. A lot of it is simply a discount the school is giving. "Today, most private colleges discount their published tuition by 60% or more for virtually every student."

If she really wants to do the Bible college program, could she earn the money to go? Is there a less expensive place she could attend and get a similar experience?

The only explanation I can come up with is that she's so overwhelmed by her own life that she's lost sight of the big picture. Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

She's awful. Absolutely awful.

I went to college in 1990. Tuition, room, board, fees, etc was $5k a year. When I run an inflation calculator for then vs now, $5k equals about $11k. I cannot send my son to that same school for $11k for tuition, room, board, etc. It's $26k now, with $16k of that to live in the same average dorm that I lived in. The dining halls were updated and look very posh, but the students gripe that the food stinks. Who knows... There's a private school in town that has a sticker price of $45k a year. Assuming scholarships stack, assuming my kid gets a perfect SAT score (ha!), assuming he lives at home, assuming he gets the max scholarships available, tuition still comes out to $20k a year, double the cost of the state school, (before any possible scholarships at state u). I honestly have no idea how middle class people afford this without taking on tons of debt. Is that what everyone does, they just quietly take on debt for their kids and hope for the best?

Ruin her ability to apply? That seems a bit dramatic. Community college doesn't ruin someone for future college coursework at a 4-year institution. OP, many states have transfer agreements between the community colleges and the state universities. Some of them, like NY, even have guarantees that if a student graduates with an A.S. or A.A. from a state c.c., they have guaranteed admission to a 4-year state school. The student needs to make sure they are taking courses that will transfer from cc to a 4-year university. Taking classes willy-nilly without making sure they fit the transfer plan isn't a good idea. I have a 2-year degree from community college. My 200-level microbiology class would transfer to a state university because the state uni has a course that is comparable in scope and sequence to my previous course. My applied-veterinary-nursing classes would not transfer in as anything but "general elective credit" because the 4-year uni does not have a comparable course or program. It's the same with CLEP exams. Some schools will grant credit for the Chemistry CLEP, others won't, (as an example). It all depends on how closely the exam matches what that particular school teaches. You can look this information up on the school's website and determine whether or not it makes sense for your student to take a particular exam. Most CLEP exams are freshman college level courses. There are a few that come in as sophomore level, but it's mostly 100 level. These can be a good way to knock out general education classes, provided you know that the receiving institution will accept the exam and grant the credit where you need it. You can also get a lot of information about a school's financials by googling <name of school> common data set. You can find out how likely it is your kids will be accepted into the school, what their admissions requirements are, what the requirements are for transfer students, if they accept CLEP, AP, DSST, military credits. etc.

You are not being unreasonable. She is being a petty b!tch.

Mine was a natural speller, so I dropped spelling very early on, like 4th-ish grade, and gave him a dictionary. 🤷‍♀️

What I would drop: spelling, reading through MCT Essay Voyage, either Greek or Latin (which does he like better? I'd be inclined to drop Latin since you don't have a plan to continue in high school), and logic/world religions since it's over his head and taking up a lot of time. You already have a writing program with Writing Strands, so MCT is doubling up, even if you don't do the assignments. If he really wants to read about world religions, I'd incorporate that as part of his geography and get books closer to his level. We used MCT grammar and poetry in 7th. I stopped using the writing portion once we got to the Essay level because I thought it was so painfully dull. I'd focus more on improving the quality of what he's currently writing vs charging forward into essay writing. I'm torn on piano. If you don't plan to make him continue for much longer, then you might as well drop it entirely now. But...I also know that if you nudge them through the murky middle school years, sometimes they find a new love for music in high school and keep going.

That is 3 more than I expected

I have never thought about this before? I mean, it's rude to blather on about any topic the other person finds boring. That being said, I would probably only tell someone about a dream if they were in it and it was funny. Otherwise, I can't imagine them caring about my dream at all.

Wow, thank you for this link. I'm only a few months into the story of them leaving Texas for Vermont, but WOW. I'm off to binge-read about this lady's life for the last ten years.

Noooo. He has so many expensive hobbies already! Pottery is expensive AND messy, so that's a no go for me.

DH and I binge-watched a show called The Great Pottery Throwdown. Maybe you can find it on a streaming service? Spoiler alert: in some of the challenges, they made sinks, toilets, and urinals. You're welcome ? By the time the series was over, DH was ready to buy a wheel and kiln and start making his own bowls and cups!

Masking in doctor's offices, pharmacies, any place crowded. Still using hand sanitizer after being in public. I usually mask in stores, but I don't sweat it if I realize I forgot my mask when I arrive at the grocery. No one here has had Covid yet. DS is homeschooled and has a few out-of-the-house activities every week where he wears a mask. DH works from home. Our risk is probably lower because we're not around big groups of people all day, like for work or school. ETA: When I visited family out of state, they did not mask anywhere. I did not ask them to, and they didn't say anything about DS and I masking everywhere we went. We also did not mask when we were at their homes because it's just not practical to mask 24/7 for a 5-day trip. I was more concerned about picking something up on the plane or at the airport than my sister's livingroom.