Homework question

[EKS]

I must be completely missing a part of this story.

 

Most (maybe all) private schools make the parents either pay the entire year's tuition up front or have the parents sign something saying that they are going to pay for the whole year even if they pull their kid out.  You can buy tuition insurance, but it doesn't cover at 100%.  So threatening to pull a child out at the beginning of the year doesn't really have any financial repercussions for the school.  In fact, it seems to me it would just make the school's job easier because they would get the tuition money and not have to deal with this situation any more.

 

Will the school somehow be getting money from the state to offset the expense of providing special tutoring for the OP's daughter?  Is that what the scholarship people are referring to is?  Because, otherwise, at a private school the cost of any special tutoring would be borne by the parents.

 

What incentive does this school have to keep the OP's daughter enrolled?

 

[Love_to_Read]

One thought on creating conflict...

 

The PS doing the eval is not your district of residence.

They are not the district who will write the IEP.
They are not the school your children are attending.

The coordinator herself is not the psychologist who will be conducting the actual testing or observations of your child.  (Unless it's a super tiny district like mine, but it doesn't sound like it.)

So, what you have is a PS coordinator whose sole job is be the gatekeeper.  She authorizes which professionals shall test your child...psychologist for certain tests, OT to evaluate fine motor if handwriting is an issue, PT if gross motor coordination is noted, etc.  Apparently, part of her implied job is to save the school district some time, money, obligations, or something by denying or delaying such evals, even though doing so is shady and illegal.

 

If you completely anger her by involving the Dept. of Ed. and create an adversarial situation, what power does she have exactly?  She cannot keep denying you the evaluations with the Department looking over her shoulder.  She cannot change what the psychologist will find. She cannot affect what happens to your child in the Christian school classroom.  She cannot even write the IEP herself.

 

If by some slim chance she finds some way to still mess things up, who does the evaluation if you pull your daughter out of school?  Your district of residence.

 

So, in my mind, even if we imagine a worst case scenario of conflict going poorly, she has very little power to be vindictive. Right now, she is using her gatekeeper power to block you, and who knows how many other students for various reasons, from being able to get your foot in the door with a timely evaluation as per the law, but to the best of my knowledge, that's it.  Once the Dept. of Ed. orders her to hurry up and comply with the law to evaluate, that power evaporates.

We've also seen in her reply that she is backpedalling and trying to lie to smooth things over in her own conflict avoidance.  She isn't coming out and calling you liars, she isn't continuing to refuse to look at your sample work...she's being about a thousand times more polite in writing than she was in the meeting, because apparently she also has a need for everything to look pretty on the surface.  So, my thought is that if you back her further into a corner, she isn't the type to lash out.  She seems like the type to keep on politely protesting that it's all just a big misunderstanding, no harm meant, no wrong done, and then to deal with you as civilly as possible in hopes that you'll go on your merry way and be a quickly forgotten blip on the radar.  For her to get aggressive back is just more stuff that could be reported to the Dept. of Ed., to shatter the façade of her being a diligent law-abiding employee who was misinformed and simply concerned about having enough evidence to evaluate these kids accurately.

 

In other words, she's a bully when she thinks she can get away with it, such as verbally during a meeting with a fresh new parent and coworkers who will back her up.  But if you continue dealing with her in writing and invoke the specter of actually getting caught breaking the law, she suddenly starts singing a different tune.  I think she'll be much more compliant with the Dept. of Ed. on your side....still trying to insist left and right that she didn't have your records and it was all your fault...but absolutely forced to look at them now. And I'm sure the Dept. of Ed. has heard that same song and dance a thousand times from a thousand coordinators to take such protests of innocence with a large grain of salt.

 

[Heathermomster]

I must be completely missing a part of this story.

 

Most (maybe all) private schools make the parents either pay the entire year's tuition up front or have the parents sign something saying that they are going to pay for the whole year even if they pull their kid out. You can buy tuition insurance, but it doesn't cover at 100%. So threatening to pull a child out at the beginning of the year doesn't really have any financial repercussions for the school. In fact, it seems to me it would just make the school's job easier because they would get the tuition money and not have to deal with this situation any more.

 

Will the school somehow be getting money from the state to offset the expense of providing special tutoring for the OP's daughter? Is that what the scholarship people are referring to is? Because, otherwise, at a private school the cost of any special tutoring would be borne by the parents.

 

What incentive does this school have to keep the OP's daughter enrolled?

Excellent question.

 

I struggle with the notion of a private school following the lead of a ps. DS attended private school for two years when I called the ps about getting helps for DS. The ps was happy to blame the private's poor teaching for my son's difficulties. The rapport between this ps and private school is interesting. It seems like the private school is stalling, but whatever. In this case, the private is blaming the ps for their policy and failure to act.

[Storygirl]

Thanks, everyone!

 

Lecka, I didn't respond to your previous post explaining the psychologist's likely role in the IEP process. I'm sure you are right that we would be steered toward someone else for any necessary counseling.

 

Yes, she is a new principal. She became the interim principal partway through last school year and was given the regular position over the summer. The lead intervention teacher is new in that position as well (she was an intervention teacher at this school last year, but not the lead), and the other two intervention teachers are brand new. So it's new for everyone. I'm sure that there is a bit if a learning curve for them. And I'm also thinking that they are feeling a little annoyed with us for pushing them to think more about one particular child when they are busy trying to get a handle on all the kids (they haven't said this, but there is an undertone). I get that. But too bad.

 

Well, since they wouldn't agree to a meeting, I've written two more LOOONNG emails full of information for them :D . I pointed out that I wanted a meeting because I had a lot to say, so now I would just write it down for them instead. The plus side is that everything will be in writing, and I can refer to it later when and if necessary. The principal wrote to me that response about DD's distress, and the classroom teacher responded to my email of suggestions for her, so they are both getting detailed responses. Copied to everyone involved. I'm going to wait to send them until DH is home tonight and has has a chance to give them a once over.

 

By the way, the problem has cycled back around to the original issue of homework. The classroom teacher so sweetly informed us that DD seems to be having a fine time with the work in the classroom and that she needs more homework support, because the homework she is handing in is much worse than what DD is producing in class. :banghead:  Also, DD is cheerful and happy and showing no distress at all at school  :mad: . Okay, she is only reporting what she sees. I get that. I encouraged DD to start telling her teacher when she is feeling upset and wishing she could call me to take her home in the middle of the day, because otherwise the teacher doesn't know. DD responded saying she doesn't want to show anyone she is sad and is afraid that if she talks about it to the teacher she will cry in front of her friends. Sigh.

 

In my email to the classroom teacher, I pointed out that DD's emotional instability and her tiredness from working her brain extra hard during the day were factors affecting her homework at night. Also, I wrote a paragraph about how DD has good working memory and awesome processing speed, so she can seem to get things immediately in class. But that the dyslexic brain does not store new information in the long term memory, so that by the time she arrives home to do her homework, she can no longer pull that information out of her brain.

 

So the troubles with homework are actually evidence of the learning disability.

 

Another day, another round of emails. We haven't given up on meeting with them (or on the possibility of pulling her out), but we are going to see how each day goes. DD was in a slightly better mood last night and was able to work harder on her homework, but we still had crying. And she still didn't want to go to school this morning.

 

Elizabeth, I think I will call the dyslexia school. I'm also planning to contact our local public school to see what would happen with the status of the IEP stuff if we pull her out and go back to homeschooling. I just need to gather some information about our options. But right now I need to eat lunch and then do some schoolwork with DD13, whom I've been ignoring all morning.

[PeterPan]

Heather, it's the law here.  It's very complex.  The ps are federally mandated to comply with IDEA for ALL kids.  So you get these complex situations the law has rules for, like non-public charter schools, private schools, who does the eval the first time, who writes the IEP, who does the follow-up reviews the next year.  It's all about who gets dumped with the work, basically, and it's all specified in the law.  It's not really that the cs is trying to do something wrong.  

 

The cs is over a barrel in that sense, because they have NO legal power over the SN coor or the process.  They're not her boss.  Now the dept of ed, they have power.  The principal of the ps has power.  When I got frustrated and started using email daggers with the law to make things happen, I started cc: both the SN coor (whom I had previously corresponded with) AND the principal (her boss).  It was saying your butt is on the line (principal) and your person isn't kicking in.  

 

If they don't follow the law, you can file the due process complaint.  If they really don't follow the law, at the end you take them to court and a magistrate can rule against them, costing them a lot.  You can also pay by the hour for an advocate to come in.  But I really don't think that's necessary right now.  I think it's just a matter of clarifying the law with the dept of ed and making sure the parties are AWARE of the law.  Daggers, conviction, stating the law and asking when we can do this.  And if they don't comply at that point, you file due process and contact the dept of ed.  But in our case just clarifying the law, putting it really politely in an email cc to the principal, and asking when we could do this, was all it took.  

[PeterPan]

Story, I might not be the most perceptive about people, but I'm guessing your take on the teachers and what's going on is accurate.  And if they keep it up, yes the ps will use it to shaft her in the IEP process.  It's never just about what the diagnosis is.  It's can they function and receive a basic education in the classroom.  

[Heathermomster]

Heather, it's the law here. It's very complex. The ps are federally mandated to comply with IDEA for ALL kids. So you get these complex situations the law has rules for, like non-public charter schools, private schools, who does the eval the first time, who writes the IEP, who does the follow-up reviews the next year. It's all about who gets dumped with the work, basically, and it's all specified in the law. It's not really that the cs is trying to do something wrong.

 

The cs is over a barrel in that sense, because they have NO legal power over the SN coor or the process. They're not her boss. Now the dept of ed, they have power. The principal of the ps has power. When I got frustrated and started using email daggers with the law to make things happen, I started cc: both the SN coor (whom I had previously corresponded with) AND the principal (her boss). It was saying your butt is on the line (principal) and your person isn't kicking in.

 

If they don't follow the law, you can file the due process complaint. If they really don't follow the law, at the end you take them to court and a magistrate can rule against them, costing them a lot. You can also pay by the hour for an advocate to come in. But I really don't think that's necessary right now. I think it's just a matter of clarifying the law with the dept of ed and making sure the parties are AWARE of the law. Daggers, conviction, stating the law and asking when we can do this. And if they don't comply at that point, you file due process and contact the dept of ed. But in our case just clarifying the law, putting it really politely in an email cc to the principal, and asking when we could do this, was all it took.

Ok, so this an Ohio thing.

[EKS]

Here's some information on the scholarship that has been discussed here.  I am less confused now.

[OneStepAtATime]

I must be completely missing a part of this story.

 

Most (maybe all) private schools make the parents either pay the entire year's tuition up front or have the parents sign something saying that they are going to pay for the whole year even if they pull their kid out.  You can buy tuition insurance, but it doesn't cover at 100%.  So threatening to pull a child out at the beginning of the year doesn't really have any financial repercussions for the school.  In fact, it seems to me it would just make the school's job easier because they would get the tuition money and not have to deal with this situation any more.

 

Will the school somehow be getting money from the state to offset the expense of providing special tutoring for the OP's daughter?  Is that what the scholarship people are referring to is?  Because, otherwise, at a private school the cost of any special tutoring would be borne by the parents.

 

What incentive does this school have to keep the OP's daughter enrolled?

This is interesting.  I did not know that was the norm in many places.  Where I am from there are only two private schools that require up front payment or signing a statement that you will pay whether you withdraw or not.  One is a very specialized school for dual languages.  The other is really abnormal for this area.  Private Christian based school that makes you sign all kinds of legal documents that absolutely require you to keep paying whether your child attends or not.  That is definitely no the norm for this area and we have a lot of private schools.  The rest of the schools allow early withdrawal.  You can pay for the year and get a discount but it is not required.  You can pay month to month and withdraw any time if you feel it necessary.  They will even refund money if you paid for a new month and withdrew before the month began.  Obviously they try hard to keep people in but definitely parents do have clout if they decide to withdraw because of problems in the school.

[OneStepAtATime]

Here's some information on the scholarship that has been discussed here.  I am less confused now.

Thanks for linking.  Makes a lot of sense.

[EKS]

This is interesting.  I did not know that was the norm in many places.  Where I am from there are only two private schools that require up front payment or signing a statement that you will pay whether you withdraw or not.  One is a very specialized school for dual languages.  The other is really abnormal for this area.  Private Christian based school that makes you sign all kinds of legal documents that absolutely require you to keep paying whether your child attends or not.  That is definitely no the norm for this area and we have a lot of private schools.  The rest of the schools allow early withdrawal.  You can pay for the year and get a discount but it is not required.  You can pay month to month and withdraw any time if you feel it necessary.  They will even refund money if you paid for a new month and withdrew before the month began.  Obviously they try hard to keep people in but definitely parents do have clout if they decide to withdraw because of problems in the school.

 

I am astounded that a private school wouldn't have this policy.  I served on the board of a private school here for several years, and enrollment (and the tuition money raised from it) is everything.  The school wouldn't be able to properly budget if it didn't have a commitment from families to pay out their contracts each year.  Is there enough demand for private schools in your area that the schools can reliably fill vacancies midyear?  

[OneStepAtATime]

I am astounded that a private school wouldn't have this policy.  I served on the board of a private school here for several years, and enrollment (and the tuition money raised from it) is everything.  The school wouldn't be able to properly budget if it didn't have a commitment from families to pay out their contracts each year.  Is there enough demand for private schools in your area that the schools can reliably fill vacancies midyear?  

Excellent question.  I don't know, really.  I know that some schools typically have a wait list for at least a few grade levels but I don't know how many kids they allow in a class or how many shift out or in during the year.  I just know they don't have the require you to pay if you leave policy because we were researching schools in the area quite extensively.  At the private school I had the closest ties to I do know they were talking about normally having 15 students per classroom (their preference) but a couple of years in a row they maxed out classes at 18.  They do not allow more than 18 students per classroom.  A couple of slots opened up at Christmas and were immediately filled.

[Lecka]

The staff of your school are not being helpful.  I would not be giving them the benefit of the doubt anymore (like I have been).

 

How dare the teacher not believe your report.  How dare she. 

[Lecka]

Oh, if she wants to play this game, bring in your husband. 

[PeterPan]

And to continue with what Lecka is saying, if the teacher does this, she WILL cost you the scholarship.  Guaranteed.  The ps will use that to deny need for evals and an IEP.  You ONLY get an IEP if it affects ability to receive an education.  Your diagnosis means nothing if she can receive an education, no matter how mediocre.  So if you let that stand with the teacher painting you as somehow whatever and that she's functional in school, it's over.  Your pulling her out seems (to me) to be a way of asserting that it's NOT working and that she's NOT functioning in school.  

 

Again, I'm so sorry this is happening.  :(

[Pen]

 

By the way, the problem has cycled back around to the original issue of homework. The classroom teacher so sweetly informed us that DD seems to be having a fine time with the work in the classroom and that she needs more homework support, because the homework she is handing in is much worse than what DD is producing in class. :banghead:  Also, DD is cheerful and happy and showing no distress at all at school  :mad:

 

 

 

 

Oh oh.    If this were all true then it would be a good thing that she is doing well academically and is happy as well.    But if not true, and it seems that it is not true, then, alas,  it has probably killed or nearly killed your dd's chance of getting IEP help.

 

I think it will be hard to write emails that will stand against this.  

 

Maybe your dd could talk to her teacher privately so she would not cry in front of others.

 

Otherwise the situation seems to be that you say things are not fine, but in school everything appears to be fine.

 

 

Of course, unless things went wonderfully today from the POV of both you and your dd, by my one day rule I'd be not sending dd back tomorrow if she still did not want to go.

[Love_to_Read]

Is there any possibility of her staying afterschool for homework help some afternoon?  Not that it would help her scores per se, but just so that she can ask questions privately without her friends seeing...and maybe break down emotionally...and maybe demonstrate how the quality of work declines that late in the day.  If the private school or public school have any sort of homework club, especially if you can't make arrangements with the individual teacher but maybe even in addition to the teacher, I'd recommend seeing whether she could attend that for a couple days/weeks, just to get some other adults weighing in on how dd handles homework. Oh what I wouldn't have given for dd's teacher to see what homework looks like at 4pm instead of 9am...if your dd's teacher is required to be in the building after school, maybe she CAN get another view than what she's been seeing by helping dd a couple times.

 

I second the idea of seeing whether dd could get in with the school counselor / social worker regarding the adjustment.  Because we know it's not just the adjustment...but that seems like the logical person to get to the bottom of understanding the degree to which she's putting on a front in class while suffering silently. You need someone else on your side insisting that it's not you, not poor parenting, not the lack of a home environment conducive to getting homework done, etc., someone who will actually talk to dd and hear her side of what's going on in her head during class.

 

I agree that they are probably swamped with other kids at this time of year.  My dd's school renewed all their IEPs in October and early November, so that the teachers for their new grade would have a few weeks to try out the old accommodations and have some opinion on whether they needed adjusting for the new school year...so September was prime testing season for those who needed updated evals in time for the October renewals.  Plus, of course, anyone else who moved into the district over the summer, or transferred into the private school, and anyone who calls for a revision of the IEP upon realizing that the next grade/teacher is significantly harder, etc.  They are most likely scrambling to get everyone evaluated within these first 60 days, particularly those who already had an IEP from their previous school, and thus you seemed like a good case to potentially shunt to the back of the line since your children haven't even begun the process yet other than your request, and being new to school in general, you might not know your rights and they might be able to make a semi-plausible case for deniability based on lack of prior education instead of ability.  You still have the same rights and your kids deserve justice, but yes...the passive tendency is going to be to marginalize their needs unless you fight for them.

 

I think the district of residence is the wrong place to ask what happens to the IEP process if you pull them back out.  The Dept. of Ed. are the ones who know the intricacies of the law.  The local school is going to either be ignorant of such an uncommon request, or is going to play ignorant.  It's a game of pass the buck.  Just like the current SN coordinator is trying to tell you that we NEVER evaluate for 6mo, the local ps is surely going to tell you whatever they can to delay or deny the process if you thrust this back in their lap.  Once you actually get into the IEP process with them, they might be a bit more helpful to you as a homeschooler, figuring that they probably are not obliged to offer you services unless you enroll, or they might be less helpful, figuring that you are not going to affect their test scores, so who cares whether you ever get a helpful IEP?  But either way, I can't see them giving you an accurate answer as to how the IEP would be handled if you pull out now.  The Dept. of Ed., on the other hand, could tell you whether you have to submit a new request, whether the timeline gets restarted, whether the local school would have to request the current paperwork from the current PS gatekeeper or whether they'd be starting fresh without it or whether it would be at their discretion to do it either way.  This type of request for information is not creating conflict at all...it's an informational request, and a large part of why the Dept. of Ed. exists.

 

As I've stated above, though, I agree with OhE that contacting them with the full story of how the PS is delaying you illegally is not a conflict to avoid, and I don't even think the coordinator would be angered so much as nervous.  She most likely knows your rights, and knows that she's trampling them, and pragmatically must bump you up the priority scale if the Dept. of Ed. orders her to do so.  But if you're not willing to go that far yet, and are leaning toward just finding out whether doing the IEP process as a homeschooler might be easier, I'd at least contact them to ask that much. They are the right entity to answer that question. 

 

[Storygirl]

Thanks for all of the support! It's been a hard couple of weeks, and having a sounding board here has been extremely helpful.

 

I had a chance to talk to the OG trained intervention teacher today after DD's tutoring today, and it was extremely helpful. I had little birdies flying around my head singing happily (figuratively of course  :) ) instead of steam coming out of my ears.

 

She took DD's 20 word spelling list (all words that make the "e" sound, spelled in different ways :thumbdown: ) and wrote down 10 of the words separated into two groups, each group with the same spelling pattern. She said only practice those ten words and gave us a specific way to practice them, focusing on each of the sounds individually. Then she said that if spelling is ever frustratingly hard....don't do it!! Stop before it becomes frustrating. Then DD should tell her classroom teacher that the words were too hard, and she couldn't do them. :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

She said she understood that DD had been upset, even though she wasn't showing it in the classroom. And she commented that DD may forget what she had learned in the lessons by the time she arrived home to do homework (I know I said I was bringing this up in an email, but I did not send that message yet).

 

This is the same intervention teacher who will be working with DD in the classroom. She noted today that DD is not hearing and differentiating all of the sounds in the words and said that she would be collecting a lot of information about her to put in the eventual IEP. So I believe that no matter what the classroom teacher thinks about DD, there will be a teacher advocating for DD during the IEP process who understands what dyslexic learners need.

 

This is why we chose this school.

 

I was really starting to doubt. I think the classroom teacher may not understand dyslexia and how it shows up in schoolwork, that it is not just a reading problem. So she is seeing the terrible homework and thinking it is a parenting problem. Or a problem with DD rushing and not trying hard enough. From what I've heard of her, I think she is a good teacher and may provide some helpful input into the IEP (she helped our neighbors), but she just doesn't seem to be seeing the depth of DD's problems, at least at this point. The intervention teacher definitely sees and understands the issues. I'm glad she's going to be on our side.

 

I'm feeling better tonight. We're not past the school refusal issues, and we had another round of it tonight. I'm still going to be advocating for DD and sending those emails (after DH reads them -- it's been a busy night) to the classroom teacher and the principal about homework and emotional distress. But I see a little light in the tunnel now.

 

ETA: The emotional time tonight involved less crying and more talking (initiated by DD). DD is annoyed that the school is putting off the meeting, because she wants to speak to someone but is afraid to if I'm not there with her. I'm going to discuss things with DH when he gets home tonight.

 

 

 

[PeterPan]

That's awesome that the OG teacher is helping!!  You're right, that's what you needed!  But you still need to write the dept of ed and clarify the law.  Yes, I would agree with the person who said it might make her nervous or hold the fire to her feet but not poison the process.  Fire to the feet and correct information.  They may write back and say they don't care.  

 

As far as the timetables, in our area the overall gig seems to be tidying up previous year stuff in the fall, teach for a semester and identify, eval 2nd semester, and ram through a zillion IEPs in April.  Like it's nuts then.  So they may have some work, but not as much as they'll have in the spring.

 

Anyways, happy dance for the uptick in how things are going!!

 

:party:   :party:

[Love_to_Read]

For math, we found that dd's struggles were related to dyslexia/dysgraphia, in that she had trouble with:

 

rote memory of facts

sequence of steps

left-to-right directionality

the actual writing of the numerals, in the same manner that writing letters oriented correctly requires extra concentration

 

And then:
fine motor fatigue (which is why the first 5 problems in class were fine, but finishing the 30+ problems per page at night was pure torture after about 15 or so)

visual fatigue since the problems had to be copied from the book to paper, back and forth

visual tracking issues...struggled to visually follow the columns and rows in a multiplication table when one was provided, esp. one tiny enough to include all 100 facts.

same tracking issues when it came to lining up the place values of large problems without graph paper

 

None of that ended up being an actual math disability in terms of understanding quantity or logic, but math was impacted every bit as severely as spelling because of those dyslexia-related weaknesses plus some motor and visual issues.  Once we got the right supports in place, we're back to where she has confidence in her abilities and is progressing through Math U See on track to hit Algebra in high school.  It was definitely one of the areas which the classroom teacher really struggled to understand why dd wasn't doing well...seeing those first five problems getting done in class, seeing the legible handwriting at first, handing her the times table cheat sheet without it making any significant impact...she definitely chalked it up to attitude, laziness, and poor parenting, even though it was mentioned in her original IEP as an area in which the school psychologist expected trouble down the road.

 

Accommodations that worked (we had to do these at home, but if we re-enrolled, these are what I would press for continuing):

Graph paper on a large enough scale to accommodate her handwriting when fatigued, preferably with color-coded columns to help with visual tracking and as a clue to left-right*

Multiplication Fact Tables by family, just nine facts per page (and addition/subtraction at first, though we did those as a list instead)*

Reduced number of problems to what can be finished in a reasonable amount of time

Extended time as needed, private environment if needed
In the earlier grades (but way past the time peers ditched these), an alphabet strip and numerals 0-9, just to reference the directionality of how to write them
Possibly a note card indicating sequence of steps for lengthy operations (we did this with one-on-one prompting until ingrained, but in class I'd say notecard)
Being allowed to check with a calculator rather than doing the inverse by hand to check

Being allowed to Xerox the page and write the answers right on it whenever possible (so things like fact practice, mental math, measurements, labeling geometry figures, etc., as opposed to things like long-division that had to be written on graph paper to do the work)

Being allowed to abbreviate whenever possible (such as writing geometry answers)
 

*See the youtube videos for the Making Math Real Institute for more info on color-coding place value and 9-lines multiplication tables.

 

[Lecka]

Can you ask the OG teacher to speak with the classroom teacher?  

 

If the OG teacher can share with her that *yes, this is what things look like* then that is good.  

 

My son's teacher herself was not necessarily familiar with "what anxiety might look like" but she was willing to listen to me and especially to other professionals in the school.  Could the OG teacher tell the classroom teacher that this is how internalizing behavior works and what it looks like (this is what I was told at least).  

 

They (the counselor and classroom teacher) also really, really wanted my son to age-appropriately self-advocate.  Aka not go home and tell me things, not go and tell the counselor things.  They really wanted him to talk to the classroom teacher.  The classroom teacher said it was an expectation for his age.

 

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!  This was like a goal for him, it was a goal for him.  It was going between the counselor and the classroom teacher.  The counselor (and me) were encouraging him to talk to his classroom teacher about a problem.  BUT the classroom teacher was also very committed to trying to draw him out, being very understanding, giving him a good hearing, listening to him, etc.  

 

So we had a basic guarantee that the classroom teacher would not blow him off.  

 

This "talking to the teacher about a problem, asking for help" behavior (I mean like -- as in, a learned skill that kids need) is so difficult and if kids who have this as an issue get blown off by the teacher, it may make it harder for them ask the next time.  

 

But at school they were like "this is what he needs to do, this is what will help a lot, he needs to quit saying nothing at school and then going home and crying and asking you to go and talk to the teacher for him or write him a note."  So I was supposed to also tell him to talk to the teacher, but I would e-mail the teacher and so she would know ahead of time and be prepared.  

 

But it also sounds like ------ the classroom teacher is aware of what you have said, and so I think there is a good chance she is prepared to hear your daughter and be receptive to what she says.  And, it is not like your daughter has to get some perfect, perfect response from the classroom teacher, it just can't be that the teacher is mean or totally blows her off.  

 

I also think ----- with my son, when it is just me telling him something, he is less likely to do it.  That is why it helped to have him talk to the counselor!  She might say the same thing (after all I was saying what she recommended for me to say at this point) but he had a good kind of rapport with her.  If your daughter can have this kind of rapport with the OG teacher, I think it could help your daughter a lot to have the OG teacher work with her about "how to talk to the teacher."  

 

It is not right, to me, that a teacher blows off a parent and says they will only listen to what a child says.  That puts a huge, unrealistic on a child, and is also so rude to the parent.  It is also *so known* I think that this is how kids act who internalize their problems (or this is what I was told).  But it is also true, kids do need to speak up for themselves at school.  

 

For my son we found that part of the problem was that he had no idea when he should bring something up.  Should he go to the teacher's desk?  Should he raise his hand when they were having seatwork and the teacher was walking around to check on kids?  He had no idea.  So I would bring that up.  Is she supposed to go before school starts to talk to the teacher?  Right at the end of class?  During seat work?  When exactly is it a good time to bring it up?  

 

This is also something that it turns out my son has trouble with in various settings, and I have to give him a lot of pep talks about asking for help or saying he has a problem, and I still need to go and talk to people and let them know there is a problem in case he does not explain himself well, etc, etc, etc.  So I also think -- if this is something that has come up a little before, it is something you might be able to work with at church or with activities or with other relatives.  Right now my son is the most confident about asking for help at school, I think b/c the teacher at the time made it a point to make it be a good experience for him.  

 

Edit:  In our case we built up to having my son talk to the teacher.  At first we were just happy if he would talk to anyone, b/c at first I had no idea that he had any problem at school, and I didn't know that is why he was staying home from school, I really thought he was sick.  I also think the OG teacher might know your daughter and her age and her personality, and think ---- she is ready to talk to the teacher.  It might not be such an ordeal, it might just be something where she needs the little bit of encouragement from the OG teacher and from home.  

 

Not that I think it should all be given over to the child.  But it is something kids need to learn to do, too.  

 

 

[PeterPan]

Could I just say Lecka is AWESOME...   :hurray:   Way to totally nail a situation!!  

[Lecka]

I think we got really lucky with the social worker and the pediatrician.  I had no idea what to do at the time, and felt horrible my son had missed school.  I had never heard of any of it before.  

 

Also his classroom teacher was nice.  She is the one who originally was convinced he had ADHD but it turns out he does not.  But she was totally willing to work with the social worker and she liked my son, and wanted school to be a good experience for him.  She was also really funny and told a lot of jokes and funny stories in class, which my son really liked about her.  

 

But none of this will totally work until Story's daughter is getting the right level of math, I think.  It can all help, but it can't be the entire solution.  

 

My son was getting help with his handwriting, informal classroom accomodations/supports from his teacher for his handwriting, not having to be in the room during timed math facts, etc, etc, etc, and so that was all happening at the same time.  But fortunately it was all stuff the teacher could just do, and that was a good situation for us.  The teacher was very willing, she wasn't one where you have to get everything in writing and then bring it up all the time, she wanted to do it, and she felt bad about thinking he had ADHD b/c it turned out some things she had been trying were counter-productive for him.   

 

[Storygirl]

Thanks, Lecka! That was really helpful!

 

DD is interesting. She really did have a better attitude yesterday and worked hard on her homework (without tears, though she wanted to rush through it). I think she was encouraged by some papers she brought home that had better grades -- 14 out of 14 on a map! -- and that the OG tutor was able to break down her spelling for her and give her a way to work on it that made sense to her. She felt a little less like a failure.

 

But she still pulled me aside at bedtime and said she was unhappy and wanted to quit school. She said she planned to sleep in in the morning. I managed to help her avoid devolving into a crying mess.

 

Here is the surprising thing. She wants to advocate for herself. She is annoyed that I requested a meeting and it was put off (she knew about the meeting, because I had asked her if having me talk to her teachers would help). She wants the meeting to happen, and she wants to be there to tell them her feelings herself. She is very brave! I would never have done this as a child! She just wants me to be with her when she talks to them. She has been saying for a couple of days that she wants to have a meeting.

 

So I sent an email back to the principal early this morning saying that DD is insisting that she wants to talk to them, but that she will only do it if I am there. That I think she is brave to self-advocate and that her request should be honored.

 

That was four hours ago. I haven't heard back. :confused1:

 

But maybe the principal has been out of the office this morning and has not checked her email. You never know. We have found that they are not good at returning phone calls, and email has been the best way to actually get a timely response from her, but if we don't hear back, we will call the office.

 

Lecka, I think it would help if the teacher could give DD a signal to use if she needs to talk to her or is feeling upset in class. The best result here would be that after DD has a chance to tell the teachers/school her feelings about school, that she will be relieved of that pressure or burden, and that she would just feel more comfortable at school generally. She needs to feel that it is a safe place for her, and that they are willing to try to understand her.

 

I think the OG teacher will work to get some accommodations for DD now that she has had a chance to work with her one on one and sees more of what she needs. She said she would give her a little notebook to keep at her desk that shows the letters and sounds, that she would be allowed to look at any time that she needs it. :thumbup1:  I'm glad to see that she is going to provide these kind of helps.

 

So far it seems that the classroom teacher and principal like to discuss my emails with the intervention team before responding to them. Since I put some information about dyslexia in my email to the classroom teacher (which was copied to everyone), I'm hoping that will prompt them to have a discussion about it. The OG teacher is dyslexic herself, and she is indicating that she wants to be an advocate for DD, so I feel good about that.

[Storygirl]

I plan to respond to some of the other posts, at some point, but I'm trying to balance a lot of things time-wise. More later!

[Storygirl]

DD10 and I had a meeting with the school principal and her classroom teacher this morning, and I think it went well. Last night, DD decided that she might not feel like talking in the meeting and wanted to write down her thoughts. This was all her own idea! In the note, she said that she wanted to quit, found homework stressful, had been crying a lot at night, and sometimes felt sad in class but didn't want anyone to know. She listed the classes that she finds hard and said that spelling is "so so hard" for her. She also listed out the things she would miss if she quit, including her teacher :) , a few of the classes, her friends, and lunch. She had me read the note for her in the meeting. I was very proud of her.

 

The principal did most of the talking, encouraging her by saying that she knows it is hard but that she can see what a hard worker DD is and pointed out the areas that DD has been doing well. She asked if DD could think of anything that would help her feel better, and DD shrugged, so I suggested that she could write little notes to her teacher if she wanted to tell her something privately (she seemed to find writing this note to be empowering and had been eager to do it, so I thought it was a good way for her to express herself). The teacher said that was a great idea and that she would make sure that DD had a supply of notepaper to use.

 

The teacher also said that she and the intervention teacher would be working together to modify what she should do for spelling, so that she would not have to do it the same as the rest of the class, and that the intervention teacher would soon start pulling DD out of class for some of the language arts time to work with her in a small group.

 

The meeting was only 15 minutes long, but I think it was extremely helpful for them to hear directly from her that she has been so upset that she wants to quit. DD is very friendly and outgoing and energized by being around friends, so they were only seeing the happy side of her. She was hiding the sad feelings and only expressing them at home. I'm hoping that the meeting relieved a lot of DD's internal stress. Just knowing that the teachers are willing to listen and now know what she feels inside may tip the balance for her, so that she will keep giving school a chance. She seemed happy after the meeting and skipped down the hall to her gym class :thumbup1: .

[Storygirl]

I'm not concerned at all now that DD10 will not qualify for an IEP. Our neighbor said that even though her kids had okay grades on their report cards, that they were found to have learning disorders. One of the teachers (whom DS11 has this year :mellow: ) did a poor job of marking assignments (for example awarding 5 of 5 points on a paper that clearly had incorrect answers), was not organized, did not have a good handle on all of the student's needs, and kept downplaying the child's difficulties in the IEP meeting ("she's such a nice girl and tries hard"), but that child got an IEP and is receiving some very intense one-on-one help this year. Because the OG intervention tutor will advocate for DD at the IEP meeting and present a lot of data about her disability, I think getting the IEP is just a matter of time for her.

 

I'm mainly concerned now with making sure that she has enough understanding and support in the classroom to keep her from feeling like a failure while we wait for the IEP to be in place. The meeting today helped, I hope.

 

DS11 is another story. He has that less preferred teacher for homeroom, Bible, math, and science. But he has a different teacher for language arts, and she seems to be on the ball. I think the math difficulties will reveal themselves in such a way that it is obvious. The language arts issues will be a little more complex to understand, so I'm glad he has the other teacher for that. It will be interesting to see what they observe about him. His executive function issues have already started to become apparent -- forgetting to turn in homework, not writing in his planner, not realizing his missed a take-home assignment, forgetting his lunch, disorganized papers, not being able to tell us at home what the teacher said in class, etc. But I haven't seen enough returned work from his classes to know if his LDs are showing up in his work yet. He's been doing a little better on his homework than I expected. Which is good. But, then again, not good, because they need to see his needs in order to address them in the IEP. Most of his homework so far has been  the "read for 20 minutes," "practice for your spelling test" variety, which doesn't require output, but he's starting to bring home some more things that require him to turn in papers.

 

ETA: I'm predicting someone will suggest that we ask to have DS switched to be in the other teacher's class. It wouldn't make a difference, because these teachers are teaching as a team (last year only the less desirable teacher was at the school; this is the first year that they have had two fifth grade teachers). DS would have the same teacher for math and science no matter what. The only thing that would change is having the other teacher for homeroom and Bible instead of his current one. Not worth switching him for that.

 

[Storygirl]

A couple of things to answer questions from earlier in the thread:

 

I'm planning to ask the dept of ed some questions. Love to Read, your perspective was really helpful to me. Thank you! I am such a conflict avoider. And I have social anxiety, anyway, so the idea of walking into a meeting where I know I will be face to face with someone who is annoyed at me makes this whole IEP process seem much more stressful. I need to not worry about the special education coordinator's opinion of me and just push on as an advocate for my children.

 

And your list of ways that the dysgraphia/dyslexia showed up for your child is extremely helpful, because DS11 has dysgraphia. I think it is especially interesting that even though the original IEP stated that problems might crop up in later years, that a classroom teacher attributed the difficulties to attitude and poor parenting. How frustrating! It's a good thing for me to keep in mind. Our son's NP report definitely point out some things that will increase in difficulty for him over time, and I will ask for those to be noted in his IEP if possible. I can see that a note like that could help in the future.

 

 

[Storygirl]

We are paying tuition by the month, and I don't think that there is a clause that we must pay the whole amount if we pull out. I think there is something in there about giving a certain amount of notice??? I'll have to go back and check.

 

I honestly think the private school is going to WANT our kids to have IEPs and won't try to keep them from qualifying. Once the IEPs are in place, the school has the potential to benefit financially in a big way, because that scholarship money will kick in. There isn't a reason to go into specifics about how it works, because it is specific to our state, and some details are specific to this school, except to say that the school has the potential to gain tens of thousands of dollars more each year by having our family enrolled. Those dollars pay for the intervention services that this school offers, which is why we can get more services at this private Christian school than at any other Christian school in our area. Which is also why we can get more pre-IEP intervention than we would by going to the public school (they would absolutely have to miserably fail before the public school would start to help them).

 

I'm not certain that this will be the best school for my kids all the way through. We haven't been in school before, so it's kind of an experiment. But we thought it was the best place for them to get intervention right away AND get IEPs. Which then qualify us for the scholarships. Which we can then take to a different school sometime down the line if this school proves to be ineffective.

 

Getting intervention right away was a big selling point. Which is why we were especially discouraged that the initial request for evaluations was refused by the public school. I'm encouraged now that the school is indicating they will start actively helping DD instead of just observing her.

[PeterPan]

Story, you are correct that it's really the psych who is going to drive that diagnosis.  At our ps, the psych was pretty much revered.  Note to self, find out title of psych and use it.  In the ps, the psychs are called Mr./Mrs. and not Dr.  Think about that.  Earned phd, and all day long they're treated like Uncle Jack, kwim?  I went in and was as respectful as I could be, and I think he appreciated it.  

 

I'm SO glad working with the OG person is getting some changes in the classroom.  And you know, I think that's phenomenal that this cs is really doing it.  This is what ALL cs's should provide, and instead you were able to find *1* doing it.  Now I don't mind that other cs that had their alternative program, but even that was, in reality, a copout, encouraging people to find ways to avoid psychs, avoid diagnoses, avoid labels, which goes back to the whole stigma of it in our circles.  So I just am BLOWN AWAY by how much effort they're making.  It's crazy crunchy right now, but just the fact that they're TRYING is really touching.

 

I'll bet you're super proud of what your dd did.  That was amazing!  So does that hint kind of at a shift, that maybe if she sees the accommodations and changes kicking in, she can get more comfortable?  I don't think it's a *bad* thing to be pushed on stuff we're uncomfortable with.  My ds is uncomfortable with the idea of competing for his gymnastics in a place he's never been before.  Doesn't mean he shouldn't do it.  It's just going to be a stretching experience.  And it sounds like, as long as you can keep her from *breaking*, this is going to be a terrific stretching experience.  That's fabulous!

 

You know, I'm trying to figure out, have you thought about what disabling condition you're wanting your ds to get labeled with for the scholarship?  It goes back to IDEA and the disabling condition labels, which are the same everywhere.  Lecka was just sending me the list.  Will they count non-verbal learning disorder under SLD?  I'm just asking.  They'll put ADHD as OHI-minor, but I think they're sort of reticent to do it.  Like they could/should, but you're a lot safer under SLD.  So I was just checking to see if you had thought that through.

 

Well I'm relieved for your sake things seem to be coming to the other side!  Yes, she'll be clearly dyslexic when the ps does the evals, no matter how much intervention the cs does right now.  The main thing was they had to have the chance to see how crunchy it was and kick in *their* support structure and their process of Houston we have a problem.  It sounds like it's working really well, integrating into the classroom, etc., so that's fabulous.  Up and down, up and down for your emotions, but maybe through the worst of it...

[Storygirl]

The NP gave him SLD in math, written expression, and reading comprehension. I'm not sure what the school will decide -- whether they will qualify him in all three areas or not. The NVLD is weird, because it's not officially autism, even though there is a lot of crossover, so I think it will have to be a SLD as the qualifier.

 

I just came back from curriculum night at the school. Each teacher gave a presentation to the parents in their classes about the materials they will be using, how they will be grading, etc. I got a stack of math papers returned (only because I asked for them -- the teacher pulled some out of DS's desk and some out of her own basket :glare:). I also had brief conversations with his two teachers. 

 

So I'll just say...I don't think they are going to have any trouble seeing his learning disabilities. At one point I got a Very Concerned Look. They are already planning to raid a lower level classroom to find some books for him to read, because what they have in the classroom library is not appropriate for his abilities.

 

[Storygirl]

 

I'll bet you're super proud of what your dd did.  That was amazing!  So does that hint kind of at a shift, that maybe if she sees the accommodations and changes kicking in, she can get more comfortable?  I don't think it's a *bad* thing to be pushed on stuff we're uncomfortable with.  My ds is uncomfortable with the idea of competing for his gymnastics in a place he's never been before.  Doesn't mean he shouldn't do it.  It's just going to be a stretching experience.  And it sounds like, as long as you can keep her from *breaking*, this is going to be a terrific stretching experience.  That's fabulous!

 

I'm really proud! I could not have done that as a child. Heck, I have trouble self-advocating now!

 

I'm hoping that she'll feel better now. Both knowing that they understand her feelings and that she's going to get some extra help.

 

I really like the OG teacher.

 

I really think DS's classroom teacher is not going to help him enough with math.

 

I really dislike Everyday Math, even after only a couple of weeks.

 

I think they are going to find it easier to help DD, even though she has had a rougher start, because there is a clear cut way to tutor someone with dyslexia. I feel confident that she can be in a better place by the end of the school year, because she will be working with the OG teacher part of the time.

 

I think DS is likely to be harder to help. I'm not sure he will be in a better place academically at the end of the year than he is now -- I'm not sure he is going to do well with the math, for example. It's going to be harder for them to figure out how to help him. But I think he will benefit socially. He already has a friend who wants to invite him over :) . That's a big deal for him.

 

So I still have mixed feelings. I'll always have mixed feelings. Some things would be better with homeschooling. Some things will be better with traditional schooling.

[Love_to_Read]

Do you know yet what causes your DS's dysgraphia?  Phonetic issues (stealth dyslexia)?  Sensory-Motor issues? Attention issues (ADHD, perhaps)?  Somewhere I heard that dysgraphia is never really a stand-alone disability....that it's caused by (or at least co-morbid with) a ton of common disabilities, and thus it helps once you know which mix of factors are causing it.

 

For mine, it was mostly a mix of stealth dyslexia and SPD.  So, the OT worked on things like pencil grip, pencil pressure, fine motor control, hand-eye coordination, proprioperception, etc. to improve the physical act of writing, and we worked on phonics with All About Spelling and Dianne Craft's Right-Brained Phonics to improve the ability to visualize the spelling of what she wanted to write. I think there was an attention component, too, but for the most part, we've handled that by just having her pre-plan aloud, then prompt her to include the rest of what she said...working on transitioning this to outlining it herself for greater independence.  And learning to re-read the question to see if all parts have been answered or if half of it was forgotten.  But that may not be enough if ADHD is the main force driving it.

[Heathermomster]

The NP gave him SLD in math, written expression, and reading comprehension. I'm not sure what the school will decide -- whether they will qualify him in all three areas or not. The NVLD is weird, because it's not officially autism, even though there is a lot of crossover, so I think it will have to be a SLD as the qualifier.

 

I just came back from curriculum night at the school. Each teacher gave a presentation to the parents in their classes about the materials they will be using, how they will be grading, etc. I got a stack of math papers returned (only because I asked for them -- the teacher pulled some out of DS's desk and some out of her own basket :glare:). I also had brief conversations with his two teachers. 

 

So I'll just say...I don't think they are going to have any trouble seeing his learning disabilities. At one point I got a Very Concerned Look. They are already planning to raid a lower level classroom to find some books for him to read, because what they have in the classroom library is not appropriate for his abilities.

I'm more concerned that the teachers know that your child has NVLD and they are surprised that he struggles with reading comprehension, writing, and mathematics.  Seriously?  Those issues are CLASSIC NVLD.  Very concerned look?  I don't get that at all,,but whatever..

 

ETA:  Maybe have the staff look at this for comprehension since they are using state scholarship money.

[Storygirl]

Thanks for the suggestion, Heathermomster! I'll make a note of that; it looks like something they might consider down the line. I know the school purchased a special leveled math program to use with my friend's child, so they are willing to purchase special curriculum if the IEP indicates it is needed. In the meantime, the school is intent on seeing the problems for themselves before deciding how to help.

 

I'm not sure the lead intervention teacher is familiar with NVLD. She is extremely young and so may not have enough experience to have dealt with it before. Before our IEP-evaluation-refusal meeting, she called me and asked me if I would describe to them at the meeting "what I was seeing" with DS. This was after I had turned in the NP report and quite a bit of other information about his disabilities, so I got the sense she wasn't sure what to expect from a kid with NVLD. I made a bunch of notes to prepare, which I covered orally at the meeting, and I've now fleshed them out into a five-page description of DS's progression of difficulties from toddlerhood through current day, including who diagnosed him for what, and my predictions for exactly how he will struggle in the classroom. This is addition to all of the official documents. Should be educational for her!

 

The concerned classroom teacher was filled in on DS's situation by the intervention teacher, and I also wrote her a detailed note about his disabilities and what she might see, but I don't know if she grasped the depth of the issues before she saw it for herself. We'll see how things go as time goes on.

 

The one good thing about the public school special education coordinator is that she nodded along as I talked about DS, saying that he sounded like all of her kids with NVLD, so she knows. Not that it made a difference when it came time to deny evaluations. :sneaky2:

[Storygirl]

Love_to_Read, DS11 has NVLD, ADHD, SPD, dyscalculia, and dyspraxia. But not dyslexia -- it's the one thing he missed out on!! ;) DD10 got that little gift instead. So the dysgraphia is probably caused by multiple things. Interestingly, DS11 just showed me the other day that he is now able to write faster instead of working through his words one letter at a time. It's especially noteworthy that he noticed that about himself, because he tends to lack self-awareness (he can't tell the difference when he is off his meds, for example, even though it is obvious to everyone around him when they wear off).

[PeterPan]

Story, since he has an SLD math diagnosis, I would ask what their options are for math intervention.  Our IEP has just as much math intervention (small group pullout with an intervention teacher) as reading does for the SLD reading.  In other words, if they are saying just keep the regular teacher, that's not as much as can be done.

[Storygirl]

Thanks, Elizabeth! Of course, the school won't accept the NP's math SLD diagnosis but want to re-figure it out all on their own. :confused1:  Guess that's just how it is, but it seems crazy.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if they ultimately decide that he needs to be pulled out for both math and language arts. Each of which they do for ninety minutes, so that is up to three hours a day away from his regular classroom. I don't know if they will find that he needs that level of intervention, but it makes me wonder how much he can qualify for before this school would say that they can't do it.

 

Who knows -- maybe he'll do better than I think. He's such a mystery; you never know what you are going to get until it is slapping you in the face. He was starting the fifth grade level of CLE with me over the summer, so I was able to keep him on track with math until now. I had him do CLE reading, too, but a level down, so he was participating with what his younger siblings were doing (third grade level in fourth grade).

 

I think I said it before, but I'll say it again, because I'm really feeling it...Everyday Math stinks! The fact that this school uses Common Core math was a strike in the CON column when we were comparing schools,but there were other PROs to balance it out. I really think there is little chance that DS11 is actually getting anything out of the program, but he hasn't had a test yet, so we may end up surprised. He never brings home math homework, saying that he has completed it in class, so I don't get to see what he is doing.

 

The other night I brought home the workbook that they use in class so that we could see what DS has been up to. I think they must fill a lot of it out as a group, maybe copying down what the teacher writes on the board, because he had correct answers in there that I know he didn't come up with on his own. There is a section of that workbook that the teacher checks (literally -- she puts a checkmark on it) after he has done the work independently. DH looked through it carefully (I didn't have time) and said that there were some checkmarks on pages that had incorrect answers, so I don't think the teacher is very diligent about making sure that DS is getting it. He also had some math homework sheets (you know -- the ones that he claims to be completing in class?) shoved into his desk. Uncompleted, of course. The teacher said, "Well, I TELL the students to put it in their folder."  :lol:

 

The first test will be revealing. I don't think this teacher realizes yet that he's not grasping it. The language arts teacher is definitely more on the ball; she is the one who seems concerned.

[Storygirl]

By the way, I never felt that I was doing well enough with him while homeschooling. I've adjusted my thinking now. Sure, I still wish I had had the time and ability to do so much more with him. But for him to have stayed on grade level with math and be only a year down in reading?? Homeschooling success!

 

 

 

 

I'm tempted to add all the areas where we / he fell short. But I'm resisting. :leaving:

 

 

[Heathermomster]

Thanks, Elizabeth! Of course, the school won't accept the NP's math SLD diagnosis but want to re-figure it out all on their own. :confused1:  Guess that's just how it is, but it seems crazy.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if they ultimately decide that he needs to be pulled out for both math and language arts. Each of which they do for ninety minutes, so that is up to three hours a day away from his regular classroom. I don't know if they will find that he needs that level of intervention, but it makes me wonder how much he can qualify for before this school would say that they can't do it.

 

Who knows -- maybe he'll do better than I think. He's such a mystery; you never know what you are going to get until it is slapping you in the face. He was starting the fifth grade level of CLE with me over the summer, so I was able to keep him on track with math until now. I had him do CLE reading, too, but a level down, so he was participating with what his younger siblings were doing (third grade level in fourth grade).

 

I think I said it before, but I'll say it again, because I'm really feeling it...Everyday Math stinks! The fact that this school uses Common Core math was a strike in the CON column when we were comparing schools,but there were other PROs to balance it out. I really think there is little chance that DS11 is actually getting anything out of the program, but he hasn't had a test yet, so we may end up surprised. He never brings home math homework, saying that he has completed it in class, so I don't get to see what he is doing.

 

The other night I brought home the workbook that they use in class so that we could see what DS has been up to. I think they must fill a lot of it out as a group, maybe copying down what the teacher writes on the board, because he had correct answers in there that I know he didn't come up with on his own. There is a section of that workbook that the teacher checks (literally -- she puts a checkmark on it) after he has done the work independently. DH looked through it carefully (I didn't have time) and said that there were some checkmarks on pages that had incorrect answers, so I don't think the teacher is very diligent about making sure that DS is getting it. He also had some math homework sheets (you know -- the ones that he claims to be completing in class?) shoved into his desk. Uncompleted, of course. The teacher said, "Well, I TELL the students to put it in their folder."  :lol:

 

The first test will be revealing. I don't think this teacher realizes yet that he's not grasping it. The language arts teacher is definitely more on the ball; she is the one who seems concerned.

Maybe consult with geodob offline about the NVLD and math.  I can easily see where Chicago Math may not be a good fit for your boy due to his visual spatial difficulties.  Is your DS currently in OT?

 

ETA:  Here are some suggested classroom accommodations for his IEP.

[PeterPan]

By the way, I never felt that I was doing well enough with him while homeschooling. I've adjusted my thinking now. Sure, I still wish I had had the time and ability to do so much more with him. But for him to have stayed on grade level with math and be only a year down in reading?? Homeschooling success!

 

 

 

 

I'm tempted to add all the areas where we / he fell short. But I'm resisting. :leaving:

This is very true.  

[Storygirl]

Heathermomster, that is a great link! Thanks! I have a book by Tanguay in my stack on my desk. I started to read it some time ago and found that some things in there fit DS11 and some did not, so I set it aside to focus on other things. I'll pull it back out again and take another look.

 

That link talks about getting lost around the halls at school. I was worried about this during the first few days of school. DS11's brother (DS10) is excellent at knowing his way around, so I asked him to walk DS11 to his classroom at first. This school is small enough that DS11 will learn his way around fairly soon, but our local public high school is huge. If DS11 ever ends up there (not our plan, but you never know), he may need a guide or a map. (Except good luck getting him to read a map successfully.)

 

Sigh. DS11 so far is doing both better than I expected and worse. It's hard to predict what things are going to look like with him. The more ideas I can collect to suggest for his IEP, the better! It is interesting to see how he functions outside the homeschooling environment.

[OneStepAtATime]

Hugs and best wishes Storygirl. I have been following with interest but felt I had little to add to what others are posting. Just wanted to send my positive thoughts and support your way.

[PeterPan]

Story, since you mention ps, I'll just throw this out to you.  Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School   My friend was just telling me it's an exceptional read no matter *where* your dc go to school.

[Storygirl]

Thanks! I put that in my cart. It looks really good! :001_smile: