Children are in nursery (kindergarten): what now?

[Aurora]

Dear all,

 

I am new to the forum and would like to briefly introduce myself and my family set-up.

 

I have two children, a boy who is 4 and a girl who will turn 3 next month. I work part time (from 9 am to 1 pm) and during that time they are in nursery/kindergarten. After work I pick them up and we spend the afternoon together doing fun stuff or just chilling out together. (The only 'academic' thing I do is read to them and count stuff around the house.) 

 

We have all been very happy with this arrangement until I seriously started thinking about home schooling and now have doubts. I started my son at nursery when he was 2 because he was quite active and demanded a lot of my attention, and I also had a baby to look after. I was exhausted and frustrated, we just moved abroad and I had no family around to help me. This decision to put him in nursery was more out of necessity rather than belief that he needed daycare in order to socialise and develop academically.  There were no problems: he adapted immediately and enjoyed being with other kids, doing crafts and learning different things. The groups are small and the teachers are lovely.

 

In May this year my daughter started nursery when she was 2 and a half. She was ready to go, seeing her brother leave every morning and come back with stories of what he did that day. Every day I dropped him off she wanted to go in with him. So I figured she was ready. I then started a part time job. There was no guilt, it all seemed to work out wonderfully, my husband was supportive.

 

But in the last couple of months my husband and I have been talking about homeschooling so our children can get a classical education. We feel quite strongly about this and I am doing a lot of research. However, while I would rather educate my children at home, I am happy for them to go to nursery. I feel this is quite a big contradiction and that I should pull them out as a matter of principle. Why have the kids in nursery if I want to educate them myself later on? 

 

My part time job is not a problem because I have a project to finish in April and could easily quit then. But the kids seem so happy at nursery. They have their friends and like their activities and routine. I feel guilty about pulling them out.

 

I would like to ask for your opinion on this. I'm sure many parents have gone through similar dilemmas regarding their decision to homeschool, and I'm sure that feeling conflicted is often involved in the process. I am new to all of this and appreciate your collective wisdom and experience.

 

Thank you!

 

 

[Korrale]

I assume are you in the UK? In the US Kindergarten is the first year of school. Like Reception. For 5-6 year olds. :)

 

I would post this on the after school board too. There are many people that send their children to school and continue to give them a classical education at home. That might be an option to explore.

 

For me what we decided to do was to "play homeschooling" pressure free, to see if it was a good fit for us. We don't have to register for school where we live until a child is 6. My son is almost 5. This has been able to give me a few years to test the waters, so far so good. But if at any time it is not working out I would enroll him in school when he turns 6 and after school him instead.

[Tsuga]

Welcome!

 

For me, there is no contradiction in public school and classical education, just a lack of time! I work outside the home so public school is a no-brainer. But if I didn't, I would certainly give my children the option to homeschool.

 

I think they would say no, however. Both of them really like social time at school. :(

[sewingmama]

Leave them there if you are all happy...no guilt.

 

My two oldest kids went to 4 yo kindy even though I fully intended to homeschool them later. There is no contradiction at all. Once my kids were old enough to go to K we started full time homeschool.

 

There is no reason to pull them out until you are ready to homeschool.

[Farrar]

I've known many families who had their kids in preschool and pulled them when it became "real" school in kindergarten or sometimes after kindergarten in first grade. That can totally work.

 

I don't think there's a contradiction. Being around your kids all day is hard for many people! It may be that it works for you or not. Either way is okay. And there may be ways to make it work. There is a bit of a disdain for co-ops on this board, but many parents like them because they give them a break for a full day - which lets them rest and be more engaged the other days. Ditto some part time schooling options. And other families afterschool for this reason. Lots of different schooling set ups can be made to work, depending on you and your kids.

 

While I'm always a bit dubious that "pretending" to homeschool over a school break will really give a family a true picture, I think that's a good way to start. Or, since it's preschool, you could withdraw them for a month or two just to see. While there may be reasons to try to be a bit consistent during a school term for older kids, there's really no need at this age.

[Aurora]

Thank you all for your replies. They have been very assuring, and it is good to know that it worked for some families to have children in kindergarten and then homeschool.

 

This whole thing started as an idea that I would supplement school work at home with good literature and history lessons. (I see that this is a popular option here as well.) But then a few months ago I started looking into schools and that made me think. We currently live in Asia, and will return to the UK in a few years. That means that the children would go to an international school here. The fancy ones aimed at expats are insanely expensive and that is not an option. Their philosophy of education is everything that makes me want to homeschool and use the classical method. The children are expected to have their own tablet when they start school in order to use it in class - another thing I am opposed to. If we follow the British system they would start school at the age of 5 and would spend on average 6 hours in school, plus between 1 and 2 hours a day would be spent on transport. The whole thing is just not what my husband and I want for the children, plus they would be so tired after school and I doubt they could handle any extra work.

 

We have decided to not send the boy to school next autumn when he turns 5, but to keep him in kindergarten and do a bit of work at home. We might move somewhere else around that time, so homeschooling makes sense from that perspective as well.

 

I am glad that kindergarten before homeschooling doesn't sound weird and contradictory. I'm sure people have all sorts of arrangements that work for them, and I'm keen to learn more about them.

[Tawlas]

The joy of home educating is you get to do exactly what works for your family, exactly when. Just roll with it (whatever 'it' becomes for you) and see what happens! Nothing is set in stone - if something starts to unravel, examine it and see where and how it can be fixed! There's so much information out there, good luck and enjoy!

[Jackie]

My daughter started attending a part time preschool shortly after her third birthday. It's the best child care option for me while I work. Our initial plan had been to continue the preschool until next August, when she would traditionally start a public or private kindergarten program (age 5 here), and then bring her home to homeschool full time. Due to a few changes (two of her three teachers are leaving mid-year, and we have some scheduled travel coming up) we have decided to bring her home mid-year, so she will come home full time in either January or February.

 

Travel and possible international moves are among several reasons we have for choosing to homeschool. But preschool and me continuing to work still made the most sense for us in the earlier years.

[Tanikit]

I pulled my DD(3) out of a preschool when I went on maternity leave with my second child. While she had some difficulties in the preschool she did like her friends there and it took 9 months of being home before she stopped saying she missed it there. When I asked what she was missing it was the jungle gyms and the swings and of course we easily found a place she could play and be happy and once we joined other groups of children for activities she was happy again. It was a difficult age to deal with this as she was too young for many classes or activities and only by the time she entered K could we find enough activities to satisfy her. She is about to enter Grade 2 now and is extremely happy and doing well with homeschooling, she has plenty of friends and sees them often.

 

Every change takes some adjustment - you need to look at the long term aims and goals before deciding, not the short term consequences. I still work part time though not every day and homeschool the rest of the time - we homeschool year round so that I can work as needed.

[73349]

I sent my son to nursery school two mornings a week for two years, even though we knew we wanted to homeschool starting when he was 5 (and in fact wound up doing so when he was 4). I don't see any problem with letting little ones go and play in a group for a bit while mama gets some work done, and then bringing them home when it's time to start something more academic.

 

Actually, if DS had been enjoying it a bit more, and learning social skills better, I would've sent him another year as well. Unfortunately, the school was too focused on preparing for elementary school, all write-your-letters this and pledge-of-allegiance that, even for the three-year-olds. I wish they had done more duck-duck-goose, and left the ABCs to me.

[Aurora]

The joy of home educating is you get to do exactly what works for your family, exactly when. Nothing is set in stone - if something starts to unravel, examine it and see where and how it can be fixed!

 

Thanks for the encouragement. It is good to hear that the system is flexible and that we can find the way that suits us and the kids best.

 

Travel and possible international moves are among several reasons we have for choosing to homeschool. But preschool and me continuing to work still made the most sense for us in the earlier years.

I'm glad I'm not the only one in this situation and that it's working out for you.

 

 

Every change takes some adjustment - you need to look at the long term aims and goals before deciding, not the short term consequences. I still work part time though not every day and homeschool the rest of the time - we homeschool year round so that I can work as needed.

Very true. My husband and I know why we want to do this and look at the big picture. What is missing is a plan for our immediate future and a more clear picture how education the children would fit with that. Hopefully we will have a better idea in the next few months.

 

I don't see any problem with letting little ones go and play in a group for a bit while mama gets some work done, and then bringing them home when it's time to start something more academic.

 

It is good to hear that, I feel more encouraged in keeping this arrangement for the time being.

[boscopup]

In the US, we call that preschool, so that might help you if you're searching the forum for this topic.

 

I know several homeschoolers who send their kids to preschool and bring them home for Kindergarten (age 5 school in the US). There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that.

 

I didn't start homeschooling until my oldest was halfway through first grade, and we didn't have any problems transitioning. Kids are very adaptable.

 

Also, as far as principles go, I don't see any principles being broken. You want a classical education for your children when they get to school age. They aren't currently school age. So I don't see a problem with sending them to preschool to play and do messy stuff. Academics start next year for your oldest. :)

[kiwik]

As long as they are happy it is fine.

[Aurora]

In the US, we call that preschool, so that might help you if you're searching the forum for this topic.

 

I didn't start homeschooling until my oldest was halfway through first grade, and we didn't have any problems transitioning. Kids are very adaptable.

 

Also, as far as principles go, I don't see any principles being broken. You want a classical education for your children when they get to school age. They aren't currently school age. 

 

Thanks for this. People always talk about how change is disruptive for children. We are living abroad and will continue to do so for the next few years, so I am already worried about this being challenging for them. Changing schools every year or so would make things even more difficult I think.

 

As for preschool and kindergarten- what is then 1st grade? I am a bit confused by these terms. I thought that 1st grade is the first year of elementary school when children are about the age of 6. Is kindergarten just another name for that, or is it a pre-1st grade programme that is not a part of elementary school?

[Korrale]

Thanks for this. People always talk about how change is disruptive for children. We are living abroad and will continue to do so for the next few years, so I am already worried about this being challenging for them. Changing schools every year or so would make things even more difficult I think.

 

As for preschool and kindergarten- what is then 1st grade? I am a bit confused by these terms. I thought that 1st grade is the first year of elementary school when children are about the age of 6. Is kindergarten just another name for that, or is it a pre-1st grade programme that is not a part of elementary school?

 

Kindergarten is 5-6 years old and it is the first year of elementary school. Many years ago it was half day, more play based and sometimes seperate from elementary school. But now that has changed in most school districts. Most school districts are full day. But you will see a few that have half days.

1st grade is 6-5 years old.

 

Before Kindergarten it varies a lot across the US. 3-4 year olds can be in preschool. And 4-5 year olds can be in preschool, but it is sometimes called pre-kindergarten or just pre-k.

 

Comparing it to the UK system nursery is preschool. kindergarten is reception.

[horsellian]

Thanks for this. People always talk about how change is disruptive for children. We are living abroad and will continue to do so for the next few years, so I am already worried about this being challenging for them. Changing schools every year or so would make things even more difficult I think.

 

Change can be disruptive, but it depends on your personality.  My FIL moved around a lot as a child and went to 15 different schools (some for  only a term) but still got good grades and a place at a good university, and a good degree.  I don't think his education was ideal, and I don't think everyone would manage as well, but it didn't hold him back.

 

Before Kindergarten it varies a lot across the US. 3-4 year olds can be in preschool. And 4-5 year olds can be in preschool, but it is sometimes called pre-kindergarten or just pre-k.

 

Comparing it to the UK system nursery is preschool. kindergarten is reception.

 

Although reception in the UK is 4-5 year olds, and some preschools here are called kindergartens!

[Aurora]

Comparing it to the UK system nursery is preschool. kindergarten is reception.

 

Great. Thanks very much for the explanation :thumbup1:

 

[Aurora]

 

 

Although reception in the UK is 4-5 year olds, and some preschools here are called kindergartens!

 

Didn't know that :confused1:

[duckens]

Welcome, Aurora!

 

1) We homeschool, but each of my children is doing or has done two years in preschool.  It gives them an opportunity to be without mom and develop age-appropriate friendships. 

2) Whether the Aurora chooses to homeschool or not, it is nice to know it is an option on the table.  Even if she lived in the U.S. in a community with wonderful schools, there is always the one odd year where:
--your child has a teacher that is not a good fit

--there may be bullying issues or a group of friends who are not a good influence on your child

--the style or philosophy of how a certain class is taught is not working for your child (like "the new math" or "the presence or absence of evolution in science" or "the scope and sequence of" a subject.

Knowing in the back of your mind that homeschooling is a choice helps you evaluate whether to tough it out in the local schools through the system, and when to cut your losses and educate from home for a period of time.

[Aurora]

Knowing in the back of your mind that homeschooling is a choice helps you evaluate whether to tough it out in the local schools through the system, and when to cut your losses and educate from home for a period of time.

 

So true! I have much less fear over the question of educating children since homeschooling is now a very serious option. I feel more free to make the right choice, rather than just go with the least of unsatisfactory options.

[boscopup]

Thanks for this. People always talk about how change is disruptive for children. We are living abroad and will continue to do so for the next few years, so I am already worried about this being challenging for them. Changing schools every year or so would make things even more difficult I think.

 

Changing schools every year could certainly be disruptive. But changing from preschool to homeschool is like when you change from one school for elementary to another school for middle school (not sure what the UK school setup is to compare to).

 

In the US, Kindergarten (age 5) is usually the first year of "elementary" school now, but it used to be that not all public schools had K. Now they all do, and some are adding PreK (preschool) for 4 year olds. After K is grade 1 (age 6). Elementary usually goes through grade 5, sometimes 6 in some areas (middle school vs. junior high). Then middle school is often grades 6-8 or junior high might be grades 7-8 or 7-9. Then high school is usually 9-12, but is 10-12 in some areas that do grade 9 in junior high. Yeah, not really standardized. Colleges look at grades 9-12 for transcripts.

 

Basically, "academics" start at age 5 in the US these days, though K is often a giant party with academics thrown in. Grade 1 looks more like normal school. :lol:

 

[Allearia]

I decided on classical education while my oldest was in preschool, but kept him there until he would have started public school kindergarten at 5.5. His brother started preschool just when he started homeschooling and stayed for three years until he graduated from preschool.

 

As our family didn't have issues with schools themselves, and was very happy with the preschool, I saw no contradiction in doing preschool and being dedicated homeschoolers. I was excited to get started with homeschooling, but I'm glad we stayed with school until they were old enough to really start. My two were also advanced and we're reading and writing in preschool, we did fun math things at home, and the best thing we did was listen to Story of the World audiobooks and lots of Jim Weiss CDs in the car. It helped that the preschool was play based except for a few minutes of alphabet type stuff a day. I researched curriculum and haunted the WTM forums. I wish I spent more of that time learning latin and brushing up on my math skills though!

 

This worked beautifully for our family. The only regret I have is the expense of preschool, and because of that I might have changed things if I could do it again, but the experience for both my boys was fabulous. I think that really depends on the schools and the teachers and if they fit into the education you want for your children. If you are happy with that, then take advantage of that time. I am much better with the older kids than with the under 5 crowd and it was good for me to have that break and know that they were having a wonderful time with other children and all the crafts and music and stories and other adults who cared about them, and I was much less frazzled and more able to be with them when they got home.

[Lawyer&Mom]

I think it's great for littles to spend time in a group setting. I have my 13 month old in daycare four days a week while I work part time. She loves it and I love it. I firmly believe that humans are herd animals. She spends time with her daycare herd and I get to spend time with my office herd. I don't know that we will homeschool later but if we did I would still have her in daycare now. Being home alone with her is great on my day off, I couldn't do it all week.

 

If your current setup is working enjoy it. No reason why you can't homeschool later.

[Korrale]

Although reception in the UK is 4-5 year olds, and some preschools here are called kindergartens!

Indeed. Some states in the US do have 4-5 year olds in Kinder. But it is not the norm. California just transitioned out of this.

I was actually comparing the sit at the desk for most of the day academics of Recpetion and Kindergarten as being the same.

To make it even more confusing some states in Australia call 4-5 year olds going to academic school like R and K, Prep, While preschool is called Kindergarten or more often just Kindy. But other states call it Kindergarten like the US system.

In Canada Juniour Kindergarten is 4-5 year olds, though a child could be 3. And senior Kindergarten is mostly 5-6 year olds, though a child can start at 4.

 

All baffling and even more so in an international community.

[Aurora]

 

In the US, Kindergarten (age 5) is usually the first year of "elementary" school now, but it used to be that not all public schools had K. Now they all do, and some are adding PreK (preschool) for 4 year olds. After K is grade 1 (age 6). Elementary usually goes through grade 5, sometimes 6 in some areas (middle school vs. junior high). Then middle school is often grades 6-8 or junior high might be grades 7-8 or 7-9. Then high school is usually 9-12, but is 10-12 in some areas that do grade 9 in junior high. Yeah, not really standardized. Colleges look at grades 9-12 for transcripts.

 

Basically, "academics" start at age 5 in the US these days, though K is often a giant party with academics thrown in. Grade 1 looks more like normal school. :lol:

 

 

Thanks for the explanation. The whole PreK, K and preschool terminology got me very confused. It helps to know what it all means since I will order some books from the USA, and want to make sure I get the right thing.

 

Is K compulsory now or can parents choose to send children to school starting grade 1 at the age of 6?

 

 

[Aurora]

As our family didn't have issues with schools themselves, and was very happy with the preschool, I saw no contradiction in doing preschool and being dedicated homeschoolers. I was excited to get started with homeschooling, but I'm glad we stayed with school until they were old enough to really start.

This worked beautifully for our family. (...)  If you are happy with that, then take advantage of that time. I am much better with the older kids than with the under 5 crowd and it was good for me to have that break and know that they were having a wonderful time with other children and all the crafts and music and stories and other adults who cared about them, and I was much less frazzled and more able to be with them when they got home.

 

I feel the same way, and am glad that many here had the same approach. I think that nursery has been great for my children.   I am also much better with them now that they are older (3 and 4), while dealing with very young kids left me constantly stressed and tired. I must admit I am glad that phase is over, and look forward to spending quality time with them as they get older. The thought of teaching them academic subjects is really exciting.

[kirstenhill]

Thanks for the explanation. The whole PreK, K and preschool terminology got me very confused. It helps to know what it all means since I will order some books from the USA, and want to make sure I get the right thing.

 

Is K compulsory now or can parents choose to send children to school starting grade 1 at the age of 6?

It varies from state to state in the US. I'm not sure if any states have a compulsory attendance age of 5, but I have heard that in some states or local districts, the school can refuse to start a child in 1st grade if they didn't complete a K program. Add to that the fact that some people purposely wait to start a child in K until they turn 6 (sometimes called red-shirting), and I think most schools would think twice about starting a six year old in first grade unless the parent was purposefully homeschooling (as opposed to past years when a parent could just keep them home with no educational plans, and then put the kid in first grade). In the state where I live, the compulsory attendance age is 7, but I don't know how the schools deal with students that don't show up until required by law.