Regardless of what anyone's feelings are about alcohol or anything, I 1000% support a kid who was unsure who texted another adult, and I 1000% support Grandpa who then supported that kid and made sure they were safe. Kids who trust the adults to help them, and adults who show that they will help? As far as I am concerned, that was fantastic. That being said, we have talked with our kids about nuance and how it depends on how big the person is, how used to alcohol they are, how much food, and so on, while at the same time telling them that if they are unsure, they should not get in a car with someone and they can call Uber, us, whatever. (In fact, if they're ever unsure about any situation, alcohol or otherwise, even if we can't come, they can call us, and we will help them figure out a solution.) I think it's possible to teach kids about responsible alcohol consumption while also not making them decide who is safe to ride with. I would expect a preteen to see it as black and white -- that person drank and I shouldn't get in a car with them -- unless DH or I, or maybe a trusted grandparent or aunt/uncle or older siblings, maybe, were also there to explain. Maybe an older teen or young adult should have had a clue about alcohol processing in that situation, but also, maybe not; many are still very black and white in their thinking, and that seems like a lot for them to judge, especially in a not-everyday situation. For all we know, the adults who drank are lightweights (I am!) who were indeed tipsy after one glass of wine while painting.

Aw, man! This sounds very hard. Kudos to you for trying so hard for her.

Even Stevia? It's an herb that tastes sweet, rather than an artificial sweetener.

No judgment here. Change is hard! For me, when I was diabetic last pregnancy/borderline type 2, it has helped to find things that satisfy the sensory experiences and tastes I want. So, salted almonds for salt and crunch. How about homemade cheese-its made with cheese? https://simplybeingmommy.com/2018/11/07/keto-cheese-crackers/ I used to do cream cheese, stevia/flavored stevia/vanilla, and crushed walnuts when I wanted a little sweet. Keto ice cream is surprisingly good. Aldi's keto bread is not terrible, especially when made into grilled cheese.

This sounds like my kids and Minecraft. . . they have picked up quite a bit about the properties of different woods and metals from it. . .

Agreeing with documentaries. We had a subscription to Curiosity Stream one year, and my kids enjoyed it a lot. If you just want something science and aren't particular about the subdivision, you could also have them work through the SnapCircuit set using the teaching book. The teaching book actually does a really good job of explaining principles of electricity and electronics in a clear way, more than just doing the projects in the regular books. And Thames & Kosmos, among others, make some really good kits that kids can do on their own. I also agree with the suggestion to get funschooling journals. We've had a lot of fun with those this year, and it's helped the kids develop some research skills. I also like Our Journey Westward's, well, everything. She's got notebooks you can print and run through yourself, guided nature study books, recorded videos with a subscription, book lists, and so on. Oh, Ellen J McHenry also has several inexpensive products that kids could do on their own. Loads of book suggestions here: https://www.nsta.org/outstanding-science-trade-books-students-k-12 Also, we have really liked the Gizmos from Explore Learning. They were quite happy to deal with homeschooling and have a lot of virtual labs of different types. My 12yo who likes science loves to play with them or the SnapCircuits for fun.

Some kids will not learn time management the hard way. Some kids will struggle to learn it at all. They may do just fine in college because they thrive under the pressure of the last minute. Not that I know from personal experience or anything. . . I graduated with honors and high distinction, and still, the only paper I managed to write before last minute was my senior honors thesis and only because my advisor had me send him parts periodically. 26 years later, and I am still unable to do things ahead of time very well, but I can crank them out once the time crunch hits and I can hyperfocus. I've never been evaluated for ADHD, but it seems pretty likely. Sometimes what we think means they will learn from failing or feeling miserable from staying up all night or whatever does not in fact mean they will, and they may need more scaffolding with their executive function.

Khan Academy (free)? Or Study.com (not free)?

Is cyber school an option? We have some good cyber options here that friends have liked, and given the choice between that and public school, I'd probably try cyber first. In our state, cyber is considered public school, so the oversight is different from a traditional homeschooler. That could take pressure off of you to make sure work happens when they're with Dad.

My young adults have chosen not to go to college right away, but I would say these are things that they have needed to know or that helped us when we transitioned to college back in the stone age. 1) Knowing any medical diagnoses, how to get more meds, how to reach a doctor. They may need you to assist in scouting out doctor and pharmacy at college. 2) Laundry 3) How to ask for help, and how to be a student that professors want to help -- be proactive, check for office hours, let the professor know if you are struggling, etc. I was far better prepared for this than my husband was, and it was harder for him than it needed to be. 4) I am not a partier, and neither are my kids, so I am not an expert at all, but especially if they're at a school known for partying, I'd discuss that with them, don't accept drinks you didn't see opened, etc. I'm sure someone else will have more useful info. 5) Stress that they can always call you, any time, day or night. If they're worried or struggling or overwhelmed, call home. They don't have to be alone. One kid lives on their own, near enough that I can be there quickly if needed but far enough away that they handle daily life on their own. But they text or call if they're unwell or overwhelmed, and they know that if nothing else, I will help them prioritize and figure out where to start. 6) Go join a club or activity. Go to the new student open house type stuff. Then you're not the only newbie. A part time job can also be a good option for an introverted kid-- it helped my one kiddo talk to people and make some friends without a lot of pressure. (Of course, balancing studies can be a lot for some kids.) And for you, know when to hover and when to back off. Reach out to let them know you're thinking of them and that they aren't forgotten but don't bug and be okay if they don't respond immediately. Help but let them handle (and stumble!) too. Understand that their schedule may be different when they come home, and be understanding. My kid has also asked that if we make big changes to the house (their home for almost two decades), we let them know, and I remember that from my own college years, that it could be very jarring if my parents made big changes, even things like painting a room, without telling me.

Praying for you

Can you find out what they have access to -- oven, stove, instant pot, freezer, fridge, etc.? Would you or a church or some friends be able to cook up a few things like shredded chicken with taco seasoning or ground beef to package in small quantities and freeze for her? Precooked meat makes meals so fast.

First off, all of them beat option 0 by a mile: you didn't feed your kid at all. You were able to put food in your kid's belly, and that trumps everything IMO. Aside from that, I would rank them in order of preference, 3 then 2 (probably), then 1. Given the complete option, McD's would probably rank behind the other two for me. And if any of these were happening every day, I'd say it's time to look into some changes if at all possible. ETA, after reading more: keeping the frozen/convenience foods on hand as a hedge against eating out is a legit strategy that I wholeheartedly support. Again, if it's happening often, what can we do to make the meals more nutritious?

DD22 and I love Mona Lisa Smile.

My doctor recommended vitamin E capsules for overall inflammation.