Let us count our blessings :)

[Night Elf]

In an effort to make some personal changes, I'm trying to rid myself of constant negative thinking. I'm turning the negatives over to find the positives.

 

I really miss Sonlighting with my kids. DH and kids prefer K12. I need to let go of the dream of sitting on the sofa reading for hours. While my DH and I love to read, my children really don't. I'm also bent towards unschooling and dislike the traditional educational system. -- I'm very thankful that our family even has the opportunity to homeschool and that my DH is so very supportive. I'm happy the kids are doing well with a strong academic program that is mostly interesting to them and opens up many wonderful discussions about the world.

 

I've been griping about my small house. I've yo-yo'd between loving it and hating it for 2 of the 3 years we've lived here. I love how it has potential to be warm and cozy, when the clutter is not overwhelming. I love our property, a long 1 acre rectangle with our house at the back of the lot. We're surrounded by beautiful trees. We see lots of different wildlife that is just so cool. -- Rather than longing for more space to store even more stuff, I'm trying to let go of the stuff altogether. We're replacing the nasty old carpet with laminate wood flooring and the house is beginning to look amazing. It's more clean than it's been in a long time. I'd like to try to maintain this look by cleaning everyday, something I wasn't doing before. I'd like to stop crisis cleaning and start honoring my family by keeping our home a lovely, warm inviting place to live, love, laugh and learn.

 

So what about you? Do you have any negative thoughts that need to be turned around? :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

My negativity is about me and things I can't change. In my head, I know beating myself up isn't helping anything, but for some reason I keep really wailing on myself. In fact, I was just about to post a thread to a private group I'm on hoping to get some ways to change this behavior.

 

As for the specifics?

 

The biggest thing lately has been thinking I'm just stupid and/or incapable. I started a BA degree (education) in September. When I don't pick something up as quickly as I think I should or have a paper returned with a less than perfect grade or whatever, I get really down and carry on like nobody's business. I am currently doing a harder class so this is pretty big right now. I'm also struggling getting my reading done for literature. I have not read ONE single book all the way through since my stroke almost 3 years ago (despite being an avid reader prior). So I kinda have it in my head that I can't. And yet, I know all that isn't really true. I took 17 credits the first term. This Spring, I have even more (though admittedly, 12 of the credits are incredibly easy classes for me). My mom says I need to talk to myself as if I were speaking to an 8yo (positive, encouraging, etc).

 

My health is the other big thing. It has just been CONsTANTLY driving me nuts. The biggest issues currently are the severe back and hip pain. My limp is pretty bad right now. I couldn't do a section of the yard without ending up just dragging that leg. The pain causes a great deal of nausea also and I just don't handle tummy upset very well. But it's less the pain than it is the limitations. I got this great new mower and I want to PLAY with it more! I want to get the outside of the house fixed up just right. I want to go do more volunteer work. I want to make it to every meeting of the congregation. I want Mondays to not scare me because I don't know I'll be able to do it all. I want to do things more ideally. I want to not end up in bed once or twice per week (or the other day or two per week I should probably be there). I want to work a little more. I want to be a better role model to my teens in regards of work ethic and healthy living (esp exercising).

 

Anyway, the first thing, I just need to be positive about. I can't be perfect so enjoy what goes well and work through what doesn't. And for the other? Acceptance would probably go a long way.

 

But as I put in the chronic illness thread months ago (It's back up on the first page), there have been a LOT of benefits to my issues. I need to focus on what I CAN do and what good has come from it.

Edited April 6, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[MamaT]

Oh my. I have been convicted of this lately. My number one negative thoughts come from disliking where we live. I, too, have complained about our house and hated it the whole time we've lived here (4 1/2 years). I know there are people out there losing their homes and I should be grateful for what I have. It is about 3200 sq. ft., but is just laid out wrong for us. My plan is to purge, purge, purge this summer and make the space I have more functional and less cluttered. We live on a beautiful piece of property with pastures, a big barn, space for a big garden, and trails up the mountains around us. We have beautiful views of the mountains. I should be more grateful.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I've been thinking about my attitude a lot lately. Dh and I were laughing at a Randy Travis song, "Every thing I own has got a dent." Inside I was thinking how true it is. Everything is old and battered, but functional. The dents, chips, scratches, and kid messes, have been filling my mind and heart, instead of gratitude. I have resisted inviting people over because I make automatic comparisons between my "well-loved" home and their shiny clean, well ordered, new-looking interiors.

 

Well, this week we are spring cleaning. And while I am trying to scrub my home into submission, I am reminding myself how wonderful it is to be able live where we do and to be able to be at home with my boys.

[TammyinTN]

I've finally come to peace with the little apartment we live in. We came from a 3000sq ft home in another town to this little military apartment. It was a forced move and forced on post housing. I have finally started to make it more homey outside. I put in loads of pansies, new flag, decorated the mail boxes and put in planters. My neighbors really liked it and said it seemed so much brighter. I've added a new wreath to the front door. With all that's going on in the world it seemed crazy to be complaining about having a cozy place to live. :001_smile:

 

Your tread certainly brightened my day!

[swellmomma]

My negativity is about me and things I can't change. In my head, I know beating myself up isn't helping anything, but for some reason I keep really wailing on myself. In fact, I was just about to post a thread to a private group I'm on hoping to get some ways to change this behavior.

 

As for the specifics?

 

The biggest thing lately has been thinking I'm just stupid and/or incapable. I started a BA degree (education) in September. When I don't pick something up as quickly as I think I should or have a paper returned with a less than perfect grade or whatever, I get really down and carry on like nobody's business. I am currently doing a harder class so this is pretty big right now. I'm also struggling getting my reading done for literature. I have not read ONE single book all the way through since my stroke almost 3 years ago (despite being an avid reader prior). So I kinda have it in my head that I can't. And yet, I know all that isn't really true. I took 17 credits the first term. This Spring, I have even more (though admittedly, 12 of the credits are incredibly easy classes for me). My mom says I need to talk to myself as if I were speaking to an 8yo (positive, encouraging, etc).

 

My health is the other big thing. It has just been CONsTANTLY driving me nuts. The biggest issues currently are the severe back and hip pain. My limp is pretty bad right now. I couldn't do a section of the yard without ending up just dragging that leg. The pain causes a great deal of nausea also and I just don't handle tummy upset very well. But it's less the pain than it is the limitations. I got this great new mower and I want to PLAY with it more! I want to get the outside of the house fixed up just right. I want to go do more volunteer work. I want to make it to every meeting of the congregation. I want Mondays to not scare me because I don't know I'll be able to do it all. I want to do things more ideally. I want to not end up in bed once or twice per week (or the other day or two per week I should probably be there). I want to work a little more. I want to be a better role model to my teens in regards of work ethic and healthy living (esp exercising).

 

Anyway, the first thing, I just need to be positive about. I can't be perfect so enjoy what goes well and work through what doesn't. And for the other? Acceptance would probably go a long way.

 

But as I put in the chronic illness thread months ago (It's back up on the first page), there have been a LOT of benefits to my issues. I need to focus on what I CAN do and what good has come from it.

 

Here is a pick me up for you http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujenRXDu2Ik&feature=PlayList&p=C2787B78057770A9&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=41

 

Don't try to be perfect, Just be you :)

[Night Elf]

The biggest thing lately has been thinking I'm just stupid and/or incapable.

 

Possible upside: You're in school! You're doing something for yourself that you hopefully enjoy, at least when you aren't stressing about your performance.

 

I want Mondays to not scare me because I don't know I'll be able to do it all.

 

Possible upside: Change ONE thing about your Mondays that make them a bit more pleasant. That might be your day off housework responsibilities, treating yourself to a favorite activity like watching a particular show/movie, bringing in take-out so you don't have to cook, or cooking something on Sunday that can just be heated so you don't have to cook.

 

Just food for thought. :)

[Night Elf]

It is about 3200 sq. ft., but is just laid out wrong for us.

 

Have you considered repurposing rooms? Switch the living room and dining room, for example. Another idea is to set up zones in the rooms. We did that this weekend. Our living room is the only big family space we have. So we moved the seating to one side of the room having the loveseat sitting in the middle of the room. Normally that would drive me nuts, but having all the furniture against all the walls was boxy looking and left a big space in the middle of the floor that was useless. Then we put our piano on the wall behind the loveseat and made that section of the room the music area. It doesn't look too bad!

 

I went to Barnes & Noble and looked at some decorating books, especially books that focused on small spaces. I got some great ideas. Maybe looking at those books might inspire you too. :)

[Night Elf]

The dents, chips, scratches, and kid messes, have been filling my mind and heart, instead of gratitude.

 

You might try moving things around a bit, changing out one small table for a different one in your home. Maybe you can add a few little new things like a tablecloth, decorative lamp, or a vase of cut flowers. Also try adding a nice smell, like boiling cinnamon sticks and carrying the pot around the home. Or bake a batch of bread or cookies before someone comes over. :)

[Night Elf]

I put in loads of pansies, new flag, decorated the mail boxes and put in planters.

 

Oh I bet it's lovely! I am going to plant lots of little flowers in front of our house when the weather warms up again. I think having the outside of the house makes coming home a little more pleasant. Don't forget to put a few flowers in your home as well. They can brighten a room easily!

[Hannah]

I am finding positives about my country (great weather, outdoor lifestyle, fantastic wildlife, our lovely home, good jobs, my high speed internet) rather than dwelling on the fact that we can't emigrate to a safer place with better prospects for our children like most of our friends have done.

 

I need to continue putting in the effort of turning acquaintances into friends.

[Dooley]

Here is my gripe that I want to see in a new light - even though I know my oldest teen is, well, trouble in lots of ways, I want to remember that when she is vulnerable, she comes to me, she tells me she loves me, she wants a good relationship with me...so all those "I hate you and want out of this house" moments are not completely solid. I do still have my daughters heart somewhere in there. I need to remember to talk to her like I love her, I want her to always know this, no matter what else.

 

I want to always remember that God can do anything - He can bring hope to the hopeless. When I was a young, rebellious teen, hating my family, He got hold of me and gave me life. He can do the same for my child too. All is not lost, the door is open and there is always, always hope.

[Kathleen in VA]

Great thread, Beth! I tend to look at things negatively, too. I could relate to things everyone has said so far.

 

We live in a tiny house, too - with seven people, four of whom are adults. I've spent waaaay too many hours wishing this place were bigger or that we would move. Now I'm beginning to appreciate the fact that we have a place at all and that I can look out my back windows and see acres and acres of forest (we don't own it - it's just back there:)).

 

We live in an area of McMansions (Northern Virginia) so every time I go out for any reason I pass these humungous homes where no one lives (they live there, but they're never there - off to work and school) and it just about does me in. But then I think those are the kinds of homes that are more likely to get robbed. No one would consider robbing my house as long as there are so many other large, beautiful homes to consider instead.;)

 

I also need to make an effort to turn acquaintances into friends - great thought! Lots of folks have joined our church in the last couple of years and I really do need to work towards making them feel more a part of the group and getting to know them more. I've had the privilege of being a member of the same church for 23 years. The Pastor has been the same all those years, too. Many of the families have been there all that time as well, so I imagine it might feel difficult to newbies to feel welcome and truly like they belong. What an enormous blessing it is to have such a stable, steady church home - very unusual these days.

 

I also feel like all my stuff has a dent in it:). So many of our friends have lovely homes with well thought out decorating schemes and shiny new stainless appliances and new carpet/hardwood floors and all. All my stuff is "Early Goodwill/yard sale," lol, and sometimes it really gets to me. Decorating is just not in the budget so I have to content myself with the way things are. I do find when things are tidy I feel much better so I just need to focus on keeping it all picked up and vacuumed and not worry so much about whether it's a showplace or not.

 

Also, many of my friends' husbands are white collar workers - computer engineers, nuclear scientists, PhDs in you-name-it. Dh is a letter carrier and I've sometimes (ok, often!) felt a bit out of place and somewhat poor. These are folks who take yearly two-week vacations, never clip coupons, buy all their curriculum brand new:). It's wrong of me, but I still feel like we don't measure up. Now, with the economy the way it is, I'm just so very thankful that, at least so far, dh is still working! His job is a huge blessing and I need to stop my whining and be thankful we have food on the table and a roof over our heads.

 

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement to see the glass half-full and to make lemonade with my lemons! I have a feeling today will be a bit brighter for it.

[Karen sn]

I am still extremely sad about losing my horse...the tragic way in which she died.

There is an empty place inside my soul that misses her daily because I NEED to brush her, I NEED to ride her, I need to smell her deeply......

She was my best friend.

 

I found a beautiful horse down the street.

There are several Rocky Mountain horses.

GORGEOUS and SWEET.

Not skittish at all - even the baby comes up to the fence for carrots and love.

So I am entertaining the idea of getting another horse.

It will be a year or two, but having hope helps.

 

I lost all hope last year. The year of liars.....

It was the worst year of my life for many reasons.

But spending time with other horses has given me hope for the possibilities of what could be. Hope for a new life, our own land, and horses.

 

I am deeply thankful that my baby was not born early or angry.

I was 7 months pregnant when Missy was killed. I started having contractions the very minute I learned she was dead. I grieved for a long time. I thought for sure he would be born early of just be a very sad/angry baby. Turns out he is all smiles....except when teething.

 

I am sooooo thankful for his health and happiness.

It also helps that this weekend we had some sunshine and I was able to sit outside and soak it in. I need sun.

[Tree House Academy]

Honestly, as someone who suffers constantly from OCD over health issues and wears stress like a badge, this has been something that I have tried to do daily for the last few months.

 

My mantra is..."what do I have to complain about?" I can nitpick this and that to death, but the fact is that we have a nice home, my husband still has a job, our credit cards are paid, our kids are healthy, we are relatively healthy (or so it seems overall), I have been given the opportunity to care for my kids and homeschool and I am blessed in so very many ways. I know this, I see this, and I try hard to thank God for the good things in my life and not focus so much on the bad. :)