Heather in Neverland Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Dh and I have been talking a lot lately about our standards for media. We are pretty conservative and strict about what our kids watch but standards for ourselves have been a little more lax....nothing too terrible but things that really aren't glorifying to God either. This week our pastor posted a link to an article on his blog about media standards. If you get a chance I would love for you to read it and tell me what you think: http://www.worldviewtimes.com/articl...articleid-2440 I am interested in what kind of standards other Christian families have set for themselves and their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) When our first kids were young they never watched tv. We let them watch the occasional Disney sing-a-long video, but that was it. Gradually, over time, as the kids got older and more numerous, we allowed them to watch more things with us. Let it be said that when one has older teens and pre-teens, and has been a parent for many years, it's probably a safe bet that one's standards will have relaxed at bit compared to how they started. Ria Edited March 12, 2009 by Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I feel uncomfortable watching shows that have fornication/adultery, and graphic violence for starters. I am not perfect in this area, but those are my biggies. I would hope that my standards become higher and higher as I grow in the Lord and in holiness. Too often, vile entertainment is a cheap substitute for the inexpressible joy that can be found in the Holy of Holies. Cheap thrills don't last long, do they? I'm off to read the article. Thanks for posting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I couldn't get the article to come up, but I'll let you know how we handle things here. Really, we have no television at all because it's hard to monitor, we don't like the unpredictable commercials, there's little worth watching, and Netflix is so much cheaper anyway. I will use www.screenit.com to preview any movies I can and get a feel for who can watch it. This gives me a feel for its language and sexuality. Essentially, I will watch chick flicks with skimpy outfits and such if they have a cute story, but John and Aaron will not watch them. They watch nothing with (what we consider) immodesty or nudity. Often, I will watch a movie first (if I'm not sure about its content) and then pass it along if it will not be a stumbling block for them. I tend to watch my movies when I ride my bike in the morning anyway. I do fast forward through sexual scenes -- it just weirds me out watching other people do something like that. The three adults here will watch a great story and put up with a little language, but if it's just loaded, we don't watch it. It's just too annoying and disgusting. Usually, these are things like You've Got Mail or a historical movie. For children's movies, we don't like movies with sayings and attitudes our boys will copy. We don't like movies with lots of put-downs, rude comments, bathroom humor, and sexual innuendos. Examples are: idiot, jerk, loser, etc. For us, it really is about whether the movie is a stumbling block. Scantilly-clad women don't tempt me, so I'm okay there. For example, I really enjoyed the movie Hitch but didn't pass it along to my guys. None of us is tempted to curse (though we do at time when really upset -- I don't want to be untrue here) in normal language, so we will watch something like U-571 and not be affected. The boys will go around saying numerous foolish things from movies -- whether it's Henry (the sarcastic lizard on the Dk movies for children) or the words from something like Horton Hears a Hoo, so we are careful about them. Oh, we will watch violence in historical and military movies, but not in something like Men in Black. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Basically, I won't let my dd watch on tv what I won't let her do IRL. We watch a lot of Animal Planet, HGTV, Foodnetwork, ABCFamily and some reality TV (American Idol, for example). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 We allowed no screen time at all until our dd was 5, and she didn't see her first movie until she was almost 6. We do not have a TV, so any screen-based entertainment is on the computer. We borrow G-rated movies and educational videos from the library and watch them as a family. In addition to over-the-top violence or s*xual content, we try to avoid grotesque or frenetic visuals (most contemporary cartoons) sarcastic language (ditto) disordered relationships (adults depicted as stupid, abusive, or incompetent) low humor (e.g., potty jokes) blatant marketing ploys (e.g., Hannah Montana) Which pretty much leaves us with a handful of older kids' movies and nature shows. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 maybe the link will work this time? http://www.worldviewtimes.com/article.php/articleid-2440/Brannon-Howse/Ray-Comfort Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 (edited) Which pretty much leaves us with a handful of older kids' movies and nature shows. :glare: Documentaries are a big hit around here! For about a year, The Great Wildebeest Migration was one of Nathan's favorite movies. :lol: Nathan and Ben also love watching Model Railroading DVDs and science/math/history educational films. Right now, Dad and Nathan are watching "Icons of Evolution." Edited March 13, 2009 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 "It astonishes me how many Christians watch the same banal, empty, silly, trivial, titillating, suggestive, immodest TV shows that most unbelievers watch--and then wonder why their spiritual lives are weak and their worship experience is shallow with no intensity." from www.desiringgod.org Last year during the long winter months I got interested in the show, "The Biggest Loser" (a show about fat people working hard to lose weight and become healthy). My girls started getting into it, too. However, we believe that it is a sin to say, "Oh my God!" unless we are talking (in a respectful way) to our God, like in the psalms. I could not believe how many times the people on the show said that expression over and over and over again! I finally had to make the decision to stop watching the show. It was really too bad because it was a fun show to watch. If a show or movie is dishonoring to God, the age of the viewers doesn't matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I feel uncomfortable watching shows that have fornication/adultery, and graphic violence for starters. I am not perfect in this area, but those are my biggies. I would hope that my standards become higher and higher as I grow in the Lord and in holiness. Too often, vile entertainment is a cheap substitute for the inexpressible joy that can be found in the Holy of Holies. Cheap thrills don't last long, do they? :iagree:I hope to read the artcle, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 We allowed no screen time at all until our dd was 5, and she didn't see her first movie until she was almost 6. We do not have a TV, so any screen-based entertainment is on the computer. We borrow G-rated movies and educational videos from the library and watch them as a family. :glare: I've wondered if you're of a Waldorfy/Classical Bent. Is that a popular philosophy out where you are? I would LOVE to say that my child has never watched tv...but with 3 big sisters...it's just not true... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 No, I don't subscribe to Waldorf educational philosophy; there's just some "lifestyle"overlap in the areas of media exposure, the value of fairy tales, and a preference for natural materials. My wife did make Waldorf dolls for a while, but again, she's not an anthroposophist, just someone who likes natural crafts. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 The link isn't working for me :glare: , but I'll share our standards. - the film must be good art/ fulfill its intended purpose (i.e. a good documentary would not be judged on the same standards as a good drama or a good "just for fun" flick - they have different purposes) - it must portray what it intends in a consistent way (sin is ugly and penetrating; grace is beautiful and also penetrating; worldviews are accurately represented as well as we can understand them to be) - our childrens' personalities are taken into consideration before letting them watch any movie; they all react differently, so my dh and I have to know our children and the movies before allowing them to watch them (for example, all of my children have seen Batman Begins, although we have a few "don't look" moments, but Jurrasic Park scares my 12yo but not my younger children so anything along that vein, we don't allow her to watch right now) Although I believe that there are subjects that should be addressed with caution and possibly not watched by anyone, I think at least as great a dishonor to God is to call good what is in fact bad (i.e. cheesy art being passed off as good because the "message" is good) and that takes sin lightly by not showing how truely awful and destructive it is or doing the same for grace by not revealing how glorious it is. Although we do not recommend it to many people we know because we know they would be offended by it, Magnolia is one of dh's and my favorite movies because it tells a tale of sin that is dark and poisonous and grace that is beautiful and unearned with a well-written script, great cinematography, excellent and appropriate music, and poignant acting. That said, I think that we have to be aware of our own sensitivities and sinful tendencies and not feed them through our thoughtless movies watching or other forays into entertainment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri in MI Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 My dh and I have different standards, which has made things difficult. Dh is more permissive, which is interesting to me as he is much more legalistic in all other areas than I. Ds is now 10. We didn't have t.v. until 2 years ago. That didn't stop us from watching a ton (too many!) of dvds. We started off with no viewing of anything until after age 2. As a preschooler ds just saw VeggieTales videos, Prayer Bear, things like that, mild things. Eventually we allowed Toy Story and other Disney videos. Since about 7 or so we started watching Little House on the Prairie and then various family movies. Sarah Plain and Tall series is one of our favorites. Since we got DirectTV 2 years ago we started allowing Sponge Bob (he pushes the envelope sometimes on rudeness and underwear displays), Spider Man, Krypto. We recently started allowing some shows on Disney. We all love Phineas and Ferb! I wish we watched more educational shows, but dh & ds prefer entertainment. We watch Hallmark Channel. Generally we stuck to G movies for ds, PG sometimes depending on the story. In this last year dh has I think taken it up a notch and allowed ds to see all the new superhero movies which I don't think are kid-friendly at all. They are really more adult in my opinion. Too much intense graphic violence for kids. He's also shown him other movies that I feel were more appropriate for adults (such as Terminator movies and Rocky movies and some extremely violent, vigilante-justice movies. Not Bonanza type westerns) The story and message matter. Generally, I'm very protective and would prefer ds not see anything with graphic violence or inappropriate male-female relationships. I don't even like him seeing movies with dating just yet. If I stuck with my own personal standard (no sex or violence), many movies out there would be eliminated. When I was single (14 years ago) I only saw about 4 movies a year, mainly because so few passed my content standards. But I've become way too lax over the years, personally and with ds. I have allowed myself to be influenced by family and friends. When movies become a family or social event, it's hard to continually be the moral protestor, or to miss out on a get-together because of the movie. I look forward to reading the article! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 The link isn't working for me :glare: , but I'll share our standards. I fixed the link in post #7. Sorry about that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 We are pretty lax compared to a lot of you. If it is on the Disney Channel or Nick we allow it. I tried to go the no TV route, but with my dh that wasn't possible. Luckily he does understand the need to keep as much as possible rated G. So even though he spends a great deal of his time at home with the TV on, he is watching Hannah Montana and Phineas and Ferb. ETA: The good thing about always watching Disney and Nick, dd is really starting to get bored with TV. I'm hoping reading will become more interesting some time in the near future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I fixed the link in post #7. Sorry about that! Thanks for fixing it, Heather. I have to admit that when I did get it to come up, I stopped reading about 2 paragraphs in. I don't think that Hollywood is any more or less moral than the American society in general. Movies are not to blame for the downturn of American society. That is a very simplistic view, in my opinion. Hollywood wouldn't make the movies they do if there were no market for them. Are there a shortage of movies with a good message? Sure. There is also a shortage of truly good, well-made movies. I'd love to see well-written, well-acted, well-filmed movies with a true, honest message. Such movies have to show the reality of the human condition and the human experience and that includes sin... in all its goriness. I think we learn to take sin too lightly when we see it glossed over in movies. That's not to say that we need to see every detail, but we shouldn't avoid it either because we know that grace is also present. Grace is the light that reveals sin for what it is... vile and sickening. But grace also brings hope and healing and peace, but grace looks pale when presented as an antidote for shallow, phony sin. Most "Christian" movies I've seen are a disgrace. Sure, the message may be alright in some, but using poor art to portray a good message (the greatest message there is) is dishonoring to God, the Creator of all things beautiful and good. At least as dishonoring as not showing sin and grace for what they really are. High JPMs can't redeem a poorly written, poorly acted, poorly filmed movie because they reveal/ emphasize a lack of creativity and thought (IMO). As you can tell, I am a bit passionate about this topic. :D Dh and I love movies and the discussions that they inspire about faith, life, love, etc with our children, friends, and strangers. I think I have shared this link with you before, Heather, but for anyone else who is interested, Ransom Fellowship has some great, generic discussion questions for movies and for exploring discernment in culture in general. I highly recommend them. I will now get off my soapbox and read the other comments that come in. I love to see the response others have to movies and want to see what others here think. :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Let it be said that when one has older teens and pre-teens, and has been a parent for many years, it's probably a safe bet that one's standards will have relaxed at bit compared to how they started. Ain't that the truth. My kids were never going to see a trite, commercialized, watered down "princess story". Or eat boxed mac-n-chz. Or fill out a busy work worksheet. Or have their precious bottoms covered in anything other than cloth. My media standards are not so specific that they are listed. DH has been a positive influence in this regard. But we are also somewhat limited in power due to co parenting arrangements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 My girls started getting into it, too. However, we believe that it is a sin to say, "Oh my God!" unless we are talking (in a respectful way) to our God, like in the psalms. I could not believe how many times the people on the show said that expression over and over and over again! I finally had to make the decision to stop watching the show. It was really too bad because it was a fun show to watch. From the perspective of a Christian who was not raised to consider "Oh my God" an inappropriate expression - let alone a SIN - can I offer something? Those of us with the habit of expression using "Oh my God" are almost ALWAYS not doing so out of disrespect. I believe our *heart* is in the right place. If you see it in shows like that (I see it a lot in Extreme Home Makeover), it is often because the person saying it is completely and positively overwhelmed or over-desparate. I'm not trying to change your family's viewing choices, but I wanted to offer the perspective that "Oh my God" is not uttered in most cases to be disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 (edited) We allowed no screen time at all until our dd was 5, and she didn't see her first movie until she was almost 6. We do not have a TV, so any screen-based entertainment is on the computer. We borrow G-rated movies and educational videos from the library and watch them as a family. In addition to over-the-top violence or s*xual content, we try to avoid grotesque or frenetic visuals (most contemporary cartoons) sarcastic language (ditto) disordered relationships (adults depicted as stupid, abusive, or incompetent) low humor (e.g., potty jokes) blatant marketing ploys (e.g., Hannah Montana) Which pretty much leaves us with a handful of older kids' movies and nature shows. :glare: Our three girls got no screen time (at all) until they were each 2 years old (I'd love to be able to say 4 or 5, like Drew). :001_smile: They truly hardly watch anything at all. We also have no TV, nor do we intend to get one (no space, no money, no interest). The only DVDs my twins have ever watched are Brainy Baby videos -- Animals, ABCs, 123s, Shapes & Colors, Spanish & French. They did watch Brainy Baby Music and Art, but these seemed to be too abstract for them. Presently, I think they watch these (45 minute) DVDs at the rate of about one every two weeks. And that's it for the twins. My older daughter has gone over to my mom's house once per week for about the past two years, so she does get some (very) limited exposure to TV there -- Dora the Explorer and Diego. I'd rather she didn't watch even these shows, but then again, I'm happy to have my mom take her for the day (go easy on me, my twins are in their Terribles Twos, no matter how hard I try to deny it.... ask me what kind of morning we had here.....). :tongue_smilie: I tell myself a little TV is not going to kill her -- an hour a week. But I agree that the Campbells' way is better. NO TV for littles is a great idea. Read Marie Winn's book, "The Plug-In Drug," if you need convincing. http://www.mariewinn.com/plugin.htm Most people think we are weird enough anyway, just for not having a TV. Edited March 18, 2009 by Sahamamama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Our kids watch more movies than TV but they have surprised me. They frequently have to ask questions about pop culture because they never see those shows. We've put a ban on Barney videos, horror movies and anything with s*x. The rest we review on a case by case basis. In the meantime they have grown to love the documentaries. They frequently ask for those more than anything else. Who knew? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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