chai Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Help! My dd has turned into somebody I don't know any more! :confused: She just turned nine and is starting emotional swings. My library has lots of books on babies, toddlers and teens, but nothing on this age. Do you have any book suggestions for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cajun.classical Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Is she hypoglycemic? YOu may want to get this checked out. My dd8 was having horrible mood swings and crying for no reason. I was completely puzzled. Then one day she turned white as death and passed out. I stuck a piece of fruit in her mouth and she came to. It was very scary. That was when we discovered that she has hypoglycemia. Her father had it as a kid too. We treat it nutritionally, which I think is the only way it can be treated. We monitor her food and make sure that she gets lots of protein and fiber to keep that blood sugar in check. NO more crying spells! Might be worth checking out if you don't suspect discipline issues are the cause of the moods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 It's freaky when they start turning this way, isn't it? lol My .02 is that she is probably starting to experience the beginnings of the hormones of puberty. They actually start coursing thru the body around 8 in some girls, and can start even earlier. Doesn't mean she'll get her period early or anything, but the body does a lot of prep work for adolescence. Perhaps teaching her to do the right thing regardless of how she feels would be in order. I'm sorry you are so distressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 How long has it been going on? If it's just a couple weeks, it could be a growth spurt (more hungry) or the start of the flu. There's a nasty flu bug going around that hangs on for a couple weeks, making them fussy and tired. My dd is about the same age as yours, and I finally sent her to bed this morning, lol. We tried working (as in doing school work) through it, hugs/cuddles, food, alternate options, and finally it was bed. SWB shared at the convention that her mother (JW) had a cure-all paradigm with them: -You need a shower. -You need a sandwhich. -You need a nap. There may have been one more step there, but SWB said it taught her that it wasn't her mom's job to cure everything, that you have to do something to help yourself, and that sometimes the "existential crisis" will pass if you do those other things. I guess as a teen it seemed rather heartless (My world is falling apart.--You need a sandwhich.), but apparently it worked. I forgot about the bath option this morning, hmm. But she's been sick, so I fed her a little and sent her back to bed. I figure it can't hurt. Certainly not going to have her up in front of me being cranky, not when I'm having morning sickness and nausea, that only makes things worse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Let me offer some commiseration, here. I think that it was only a year or so ago when I posted on a forum "My Daughter is Driving Me CrAZy!!!" She went from a loving, sweet, caring child to moody, sensetive, petulent seemingly overnight. I had to adjust to that. Right now she is almost 10. I love the ideas above a la SWB/JB. Usually, my daughter needs some quiet down time. Often she just needs a hug and understanding. I will never forget when she had a complete tantrum/breakdown at age 8 and I just sat next to her, waiting it out. She reached out to me, sobbing and said "Help me!" That's the bottom line isn't it? From then on (and not always successfully...) I have tried to keep MY emotions out of it. I try for "matter of fact, help youself" as step 1. Step 2 is trying to help her find a way through the emotion/situation itself. Step 3 is giving her some time/space alone, but not isolated. Not getting emotionally involved is SO stinking hard as usually what triggers these moods is something I've done. I feel responsible. I feel the need to fix it for her. It's been interesting to watch these changes. She's still my little girl, but she is still growing into something so totally foreign to me. That's the awful part, I can remember going thru this myself, but I can't relate to it anymore!! I want to say "Just get over it!" How awful is that? But I'm getting used to navigating the moods. And so is she. We learn to be flexible and deal with whatever is coming. But it's a rollercoaster. I wish I had a good book to recommend. We looked through one of the American Girls books on your changing body. She was slightly interested, but then wanted to go play. But it's there if we need it. We read the part about emotions being all over the place and that it's normal and would pass. It was good for me to be reminded of that too! Hang in there. We both have only children, and somehow I think that makes for a bit more intensity for us. If you ever want to PM me feel free....I'll try to dig those books up and give you some titles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closeacademy Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 There is something called the 9 year change that begins to usher in puberty. I haven't been there yet but I have heard that it can be a real ride. Hang in there and give her plenty of emotional support. I think that they recommend journaling for your dd to help get through this time. Sorry, I can't be of more help but there are books out there on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 A book someone recommended to me is "Strong willed child or dreamer". I'm not sure it would be pertinent to your situation, but it did help me understand my son a lot better when he was nine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 Is she hypoglycemic? YOu may want to get this checked out. Might be worth checking out if you don't suspect discipline issues are the cause of the moods. I don't think so. I don't have any reason to suspect that it is dietary, although I'd be willing to make some changes if it would help. I don't think that it is a discipline issue either. Yesterday, she started a fabulous, deep conversation with me and dh. Then she broke down and couldn't stop crying when she didn't understand something. We were both stumped, because it was not a reasonable reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I'm there with you. DD11 began acting this way about a year ago and we're still going through it so don't expect any quick turn-arounds. DH's immediate reaction was that we needed to find a qualified therapist PRONTO! I had to reassure him that I went through the same thing and even then he asked several other women before he believed that this was normal. I remember bursting into tears if someone just looked at me funny. I try to handle it calmly and just explain to DD that her reaction is mostly hormonally driven, that it is not reasonable to burst into tears over something so inconsequential. I advise her to take deep breaths, walk around the house, dry her tears, and then come back once she has calmed down. Hugs and cuddles sometimes help as well but when I'm short tempered, I will sometimes send her off on her own. I appreciated the post about hypoglacemia because we've noted this in DD as well. If she hasn't eaten within the last couple of hours, that's the first thing we do if she has a melt down. Pegasus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenora in MD Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 If you are looking for a good book to read, go to the website of Family Life Today. They have a lot of resources for this age. They have also have some great articles. Their website it www.familylife.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I am right there with ya. I have 2 9yo dd. I gave them each a book written at their level about what their body is going through. The love it. Sometimes we will read it together and just have girl talks about what is happening. Once, my temperamental one said as we were driving home, "Mommy, hurry and make dinner so we can sit on the couch and talk about the girl stuff." I thought I would give each one her own private time, but they love to curl up in one bed together and talk now. And it seems to come and go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishnoises Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 My dd is 10. "IT" started about a year ago. My husband is more baffled by her behaviour than I am. I have 2 more girls to go and my ds often acts like a hormonal 10 yr girl! Heck! I often act like a hormonal 10 yo girl! (Stupid pms) Maybe it helps to be living in a house full of crazy people! I think she thinks she is acting normal!!!!! (We got 6 in this house plus a kitty and a turtle and a goldfish that was supposed to be the turtle food but they are buddies now...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 When I started looking for information today under "pre-teen", I found all kinds of articles that fit my dd to a tee. PRE-TEEN! :eek: I didn't think that 9 year olds were pre-teens! I looked at the Family Life web site, but didn't find anything that directly covered this stage. However Todays Parent has loads of information. One of the articles mentioned that if your dd is "sensitive, intense and persistent", the changes are even more dramatic. That's my girl! She also passed the test for being "highly sensitive". It has certainly given me more insight. I never thought of dd has being sensitive, because as a baby nothing could faze her. She rarely cried and was happy in any situation. That has changed! Robin, what is the name of the book that you are using with your 9 year olds? I don't think my dd is ready for anything too detailed. She is still so much like a little girl. It's nice to see that there are others in the same situation. Well...not nice for you, but comforting for me. :D Anyone have book titles or did you all just figure this out on your own? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Here are some titles I have... from generations of virtue site - Beautifully Made - a three book series on explaining the changes of adolescence site: http://www.generationsofvirtue.org/product_info.php?cPath=23_26&products_id=210&osCsid=623a746fa826c01a7aaa392e4de67c42 Your Girl by Vicki Courtney - a general book about raising girls http://www.amazon.com/Your-Girl-Raising-Daughter-Ungodly/dp/0805430539 and two written by Carolyn Mahaney - she has three daughters and wrote a great (IMHO) book on Titus 2 called Feminine Appeal - covers loving your husband, children, loving God, etc. and her book spcifically about raising daughters - Girl Talk http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/102-4387586-8895308?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=carolyn+mahaney She also has a blog although I find that more random in it's postings than just on raising girls - it covers lots of topics but you may find somethings to help there We're having a mothers raising daughters night at our church next week - and I've found some great christian resources if you're really interested - I can give you some free teaching links to listen to... Stephanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Stephanie, Thanks for the book titles. I've taken quick look and they might be what I'm looking for. I'm not a big audio fan, but thanks for the offer. I'd rather read than listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin Hood Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 When I started looking for information today under "pre-teen", Robin, what is the name of the book that you are using with your 9 year olds? I don't think my dd is ready for anything too detailed. She is still so much like a little girl.:D The name of the book is The Body Book by Nancy Rue. It's in a series called the the Lili series. This book is a companion to a story book and I personally think the series is rather fluffy. The format is sort of like The Magic Tree House books where there is a story, then a companion book full of facts. It's Christian oriented and is full of questionaires to find out where girls fit in the spectrum, 9 being the youngest. It's a book to keep around for a few years and there are places for girls to write things down. One draw back is that it is geared to public schooled kids, so I suppliment my own opinions on certain things. I found nothing offensive in it and there are no pictures of body parts. There is a diagram of a uterus and how it works, but "The Facts" are left up to you to tell about, which I pretty much still gloss over. I am surprised to find out how much into themselves they are, not really caring about the boy body parts yet. If you don't want to go Christian, I believe American Girl has a body book too. I don't remember what is in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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