Tarheel Heather Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 I give you big kuddos! I am going on two months of this and ready to pull my hair out. He comes home on weekends if he can, but it's not really home anymore since stuff is being boxed. The kidlets get upset when he has to leave. My two year old decides that he wants daddy, and doesn't like mommy anymore. Ughh! Anyway I don't know how you do it, it's not easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 DH is gone every week from Sunday night to Friday night. My kids are older though and I also have a housekeeper, who takes a lot of the strain. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet in WA Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My dh traveled for his job when our oldest son was a teenager. Not good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarheel Heather Posted February 18, 2008 Author Share Posted February 18, 2008 DH is gone every week from Sunday night to Friday night. My kids are older though and I also have a housekeeper, who takes a lot of the strain. Laura I want a housekeeper! Or at least someone to cook, and dust mop the floors! That would be wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My dh travels 2-3 days a week, and also goes overseas for about 10-14 days once a quarter. Once you get used to it, it's not so bad! It's also easier now because my kids are older and they pick up some slack. I like my quiet time, and when my dh is gone and the kids are in bed (by 8:30 or 9:00), I have the rest of the evening in peace, with no TV on. Or, if I'm in the mood to watch something, I'll watch a chick flick or a show that my dh usually doesn't care for. I'm so used to him traveling, it's weird now when he goes through a spell of being home a lot! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diana in OR Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 We spent the first 6 years of our marriage with two dc, and no t.v. I was perfectly content with that, until, on one said trip, I was STUCK at home for a week with a 5yo and 3yo who had a horrid case of chicken pox. We couldn't go anywhere, and no one would visit us. We didn't have internet or t.v. When dh got home, I went out the next day and bought a small tv/vcr. Boy how times have changed for us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friederike in Persia Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 A house keeper is by far the best thing ever about living overseas!!!! This was for Tarheel Heather. Sorry, I still can't place the specific replies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 We spent the first 6 years of our marriage with two dc, and no t.v. I was perfectly content with that, until, on one said trip, I was STUCK at home for a week with a 5yo and 3yo who had a horrid case of chicken pox. We couldn't go anywhere, and no one would visit us. We didn't have internet or t.v. When dh got home, I went out the next day and bought a small tv/vcr. Boy how times have changed for us! Amazingly, I once convinced my dh to stop the cable TV. That was back in 2001 at the very end of August. SO.....3 weeks later, guess who didn't have TV when 9/11 happened?? My dh called the cable company the very next day and had it hooked back up. So much for my grand experiment! Fast forward to 2008 and we're getting a plasma TV. Times really do change! :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bev in B'ville Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Monday through Friday. Sometimes Sunday night to Saturday morning if he's going overseas. It's always been this way, even when we were dating. Actually, now I find that it's sometimes harder when he is home for extended periods. The kids and I have adapted just fine. I made a change in our lifestyle, too. When husband is out of town, I cook lunch for the kids and I, instead of dinner. For dinner I don't have to worry about "getting supper on the table." We do what we have to do in the afternoons (kids activities) and then come home and have leftovers or sandwiches. Bonus: This has also helped me to lose weight. I have found that the divorce rate for couples we know where one spouse travels a lot seems to be dictated by independence level of the person left at home. I'm a very independent minded person, and my friends who have long marriages with husbands that travel are the same way. A couple of solutions to help ease the strain for the dc. Get a web cam for both your home computer and your husband's laptop. That way the dc (and you, too) can see him and talk at the same time. When my dc were small my husband wrote the words down from a few of their favorite books (short books, not novels). When he was in his hotel in the evenings he'd call and offer to "read" a book to the dc. They'd run get their copy and follow along as he read. The kids also enjoy emailing their dad, even now, and my teenage dd will sometimes text him. We've been married eighteen years next month and one thing my dh always does is calls every morning, sometimes in the afternoon, and definitely in the evenings (when he's in the states, if he's out of the country we wing it). So, dc and I talk to him a lot. If you have a family share plan for your cell phone, the calls are free no matter where he is. Emphasize the positive, downplay the negative. The kids will take their cue from you. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chai Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My dh was gone most of five months last spring/summer. Cell phones are wonderful because we could talk as long as we wanted. He would still do bedtime by calling dd at night and reading her bedtime story. I got pretty independent though, and it was quite an adjustment when we all got back together in the fall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Wisc Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 It is hard for them to be gone so much. Dh took a job that took him away from Sunday night to Thurs./Fri. night for the last 2 years. When he is home I rarely see him with his eyes open because that is when he does the farming. It is a lonely way to live married life. My kids are teenagers, so my sons do the farm work when dh is away; I just oversee the activity. I've gotten into a routine of starting the day, running the household, and closing up the house at night. What else can be done? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lorna Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 My husband often worked away from home on contracts during the week. I found that I dreaded every week, then, by the middle of the week I found my own routine without him and had to get used to him again at the weekend.:( Our solution now is to go with him :D. I really hate being parted from him. Ideally he is working from home but the next best thing is to have him with us by six in the evening so that we can all have tea together and I have someone to hug and keep the World in perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 In our entire relationship, DH has not traveled only 18 months! We met while I was living in England and he was there for 3 months. He was overseas our entire engagement. Traveled for work as newlyweds, with newborns, toddlers, etc. It's our way of life. I try not to think about how life could've been b/c it seems sad, and then feel overwhelmed. Just take each day as it comes and be grateful for having a DH who loves you! (When my DH has been gone for too long I ponder what life would be life as a single parent if the unthinkable tragedy happened. It makes me appreciate his work and homecomings much more.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 It's easier (kinda) when the children are older. they're not as physically demanding and can do more for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 dh is a pilot and just left this morning-- he'll be back saturday nite. he might be gone just for the day or gone for 14 days straight. on the flip side he might be HOME for two weeks straight! back to colleen's thread, lol. There are times that i call him up as he's on his way home and tell him to get psyched up to take the kids NOW cuz I've had it :-) He appreciates the heads up, lol. but we have adjusted pretty well. I agree that the kids will largely take their cue from you. 5 kiddos here, 13 and under. My 2yo is very much a daddy's boy, but even he gets in on the "wave bye to daddy" thing. The younger ones all have little photo books to carry around --that helps a lot. i wanna housekeeper too! good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.