Thinking about brining ds home from ps - WWYD

[sweet2ndchance]

I homeschooled ds from pre-k - 3rd grade. We put him in public school last year because I was at my wit's end with teaching him to read (he is at least mildly dyslexic no matter what the school says (they say he's not, I suspect stealth dyslexia)) and he really needs time with lots of people to socialize with and in our rural area the easiest place to do that for him was public school. At the time, it was a great decision. He had a chance to go to a multi-age, self paced classroom to catch up on his reading while working at grade level in most other subjects and ahead in math since math is his thing. His teacher last year was awesome and really worked well with him and the other kids in the class. He loved his class and his teacher last year.

This year, a new teacher took over the multi-age class because the awesome teacher moved to teach middle school math. A young guy (I could be his mother!) fresh from college, no kids of his own yet. Ds talks constantly about behavior problems in the class now. And he is constantly sent out of class while the rest of the class is punished for misbehavior. I'm glad ds isn't being punished for behavior he wasn't participating in but it seems to happen at least once or twice a week or more. Ds isn't making progress like he was last year in reading and he is almost out of math lessons so he gets to play games on his chromebook when he runs out of lessons. Then, I found out this week that they are taking naps at school. Now this is a multi-age class K-6, I'd understand if the little kids had nap time and the older kids like ds had quiet reading time or something but I verified with the teacher and yes, all of his students are doing naptime. Ds is a 4/5th grader this year. He doesn't need naptime at school IMO. He needs instruction and extra help.

I can ask for him to be put back in mainstream classes. Or I can bring him home. When I explained to ds that going back to mainstream classes meant that he would change classes and have different teachers for each subject, he panicked. He did not like that idea at all. He does have a bit of anxiety, always has. His reading is much improved, enough that I feel confident teaching him again but I do think he would struggle in a mainstream classroom. But I'd still have to find some kind of social outlet for him. He has friends at school and of course he could continue to see and talk to them. I'm thinking maybe Outschool classes or volunteering could make up the difference. There just aren't homeschool groups or coops around here.

So, WWYD in my shoes? I'm going to have ds finish out the year in ps for sure. Then I had already planned on tutoring him myself this summer. I just don't know if I want to let him keep slipping further behind at school when he could be catching up and getting ahead like he was last year.

[8filltheheart]

Since you posted this on the gen ed forum vs chat, it makes me suspect that deep inside you want to bring him home since homeschooling is more supported in here. 

My obvious answer is bring him home. Home allows for individualization, nurturing, and making sure your expectations are the ones being pursued.

[sweet2ndchance]

Funny you should say that, I started to post this in chat and then posted here because it seemed like a better fit for the question. But you're right, I do want to bring him home. I don't know why but, I'm just scared that bringing him home isn't the right decision. 

[Megbo]

I'm not sure that I understand the structure or purpose of the multi-age class, but K-6 sounds like a massive range for one classroom teacher to be expected to handle so I really wouldn't expect things there to change for the better. 

I sent my two middle boys to school when they were in 3rd & 5th and brought both home within a year. The older one was bored, didn't connect with his main teacher, and asked to come home after Christmas. The younger is more social, enjoyed school a lot more, and would have continued going to school if I'd left it up to him. But, he has some learning challenges and I didn't feel that he was going to make much progress if the same set up (mainstream classroom with accommodations, small group interventions for reading/writing only) continued for another year. I brought him home in 4th grade and have absolutely no regrets. He was able to continue participating in the school's extracurriculars, which helped him to stay connected with some friends he'd made in school. Part-time enrolment is also allowed where we live, so he's started taking two classes at the public middle school this year for 8th grade and will likely continue for high school. 

It sounds like you've already ruled out staying in the K-6 class, so in your position I'd check whether part-time enrolment is an option (maybe just attending 1-2 subjects to keep connected with his friends or joining the mainstream class for 1-2 subjects which might be less overwhelming than attending all day in a large group?) and find out a bit more about what attending the mainstream classroom could look like next year (including requesting an IEP evaluation to see if that might be a possibility - if he's falling further behind in reading, he might qualify for services). It does seem unusual to me that 5th graders would have to change classes for different subjects, so if that's a dealbreaker for him I'd look into it more - either the schedule might be less stressful than you're imagining or he might be able to get some extra help managing it (IEP, 504, or just a kind teacher or buddy). 

At the end of that, I would very likely end up bringing him home, but would feel like I'd investigated enough to be sure that continuing at school isn't the best thing for him. Like I said, I definitely don't have any regrets about bringing my boys home from school after that year. Looking back, sending my now-8th grader to school for a short while did help me understand his needs a bit better (I knew his strengths/weaknesses, but seeing how he got along with and compared to other kids helped me see which weaknesses needed the most attention) and clarify our goals. He was also a very different kid at the beginning of 4th grade than he was at the end of 2nd, so some of my reasons for sending him to school in the first place (i.e. wits' end) no longer existed. 

[Clarita]

I'd definitely take him out of the K-6 class. It doesn't sound very well run right now. 

I do think maybe you could work with him on the anxiety part of having to change classes and teachers for subjects. Will this be a new experience for all entering students? (I didn't have to change teachers and classes until 6th grade.) Maybe it'd make him more at ease if everyone is learning how to handle changing classes. Also changing teachers does not mean changing students so he can find a buddy and they can try and ask for the same classes to up the chances of being in a lot of classes together. 

Of course bringing him home can work too. Maybe you could get numbers for his buddies and make a point of staying in touch with them.

Honestly though I would have this discussion with my son and see what he wants to do. The K-6 class sounds like a mess so I'd take that option off the table and ask him what he would choose between homeschooling and mainstream classes. Just make it a year commitment type thing (or even shorter if that's possible) so he knows it's not a forever thing if he wants to change his mind.   

[ScoutTN]

I’d bring him home and continue remediating reading with Barton or Wilson or other good material. 
Does he have some regular extra curriculars or interests that could help meet his social needs? 

[sweet2ndchance]

They start changing classes in 3rd grade here. Ds hated it then and he really doesn't like the idea now. I agree the K-6 class is no longer a good fit for him though.

I talked about it with him and he's up for homeschooling again if he can keep in touch with his friends. His best friend will be "graduating" out of the K-6 class and going on to the high school next year (high school is 7 - 12 here), so that's a big factor for him. I'm perfectly willing to let him stay in touch and even have more time outside of school together than they do now. We also talked about possibly volunteering with the humane society. He already volunteers with the Elks club with our neighbor. I had forgotten about that.

I'm actually feeling pretty good about bringing him home at this point. I think I just needed to lay out everything "out loud". lol

[prairiewindmomma]

I'd call an IEP meeting, stating your concerns, asking for a more appropriate setting and level of interventions.  A mildly dyslexic student doesn't belong in a contained K-6 classroom. Of course there are behavior concerns in that setting. These are the kids who couldn't hack it in a mainstream classroom. I understand that he is anxious about going back into mainstream, but I'd have discussions around that. It's normal to have a bit of trepidation.

I'd do a trial of mainstreaming and if at the end of the year this isn't a good fit, then I'd consider bringing him home for fall.

[SKL]

There are good things about switching classes.  Just the fact that they aren't sitting still in one place all day, for example.  It's usually great to have a mixture of personalities teaching/guiding a young boy.

So, I would agree with giving mainstream a trial.  He won't be the only kid in mainstream who is behind in reading.

I'd plan to spend a lot of time working on reading over the summer, so that he can start stronger next year, whatever path you choose.

What is your son's age?

[sweet2ndchance]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

There are good things about switching classes.  Just the fact that they aren't sitting still in one place all day, for example.  It's usually great to have a mixture of personalities teaching/guiding a young boy.

So, I would agree with giving mainstream a trial.  He won't be the only kid in mainstream who is behind in reading.

I'd plan to spend a lot of time working on reading over the summer, so that he can start stronger next year, whatever path you choose.

What is your son's age?

He just turned 11 so he would be going into 6th grade in the fall but we held him back a year already at school so if he stays at school he would be going into 5th grade. His reading is at a 3rd grade level and his math is at a 5th grade level. The reading has come up at school but the math has stagnated. He's allowed to work at his own pace in all skills subjects.