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JAWM Any way to make threads disappear?


TexasProud
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I dunno.  Maybe @TexasProud's "art" is dancing through threads like this.   Some of you are being really harsh with her.  I get the tough love aspect and having her best interest at heart, but man are we a tough crowd.  If I were sleep deprived and on another continent I would definitely have trouble making the most effective decisions. I can absolutely imagine wanting to vent to a sympathetic audience.  I definitely reserve some venting for friends and some for my husband.  He can't possibly have the best advice for EVERY topic.  I like to let people specialize in in different genres of advice.

Maybe you should read Women Who Run With the Wolves or something in that vein that encourages ditching societal grooming in favor of discovering your authentic self?  (I'm not REALLY recommending that book.  It would be too much of everything and I can't be responsible for putting anyone through that.  It might help with the insomnia because it's friggin long.)

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10 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Or we are supporting her routine so she can move through it quicker.

It can be both.  I've got to admit that it's usually interesting enough to last for several pages of conversation.  I vote we send her a very involved lego set. 

Edited by KungFuPanda
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On 1/16/2024 at 8:18 AM, TexasProud said:

I guess I do not understand how you guys managed to fast from the board.  I mean if you block it, you just override it.  No problem.  I have no self-discipline unlike my husband. I SHOULD do a lot of things, but I have no self-discipline.  It is why I never started drinking or doing drugs.  I know I would never stop.  @Ginevra @marbel  I admire your self-discipline.  I have tried.  If I am busy, then it is easy.  When I have so much downtime, I cannot help myself. 

You can have someone else set the password to your screen time settings.  Turn your phone into a phone and have someone set the password.

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7 minutes ago, Nm. said:

You can have someone else set the password to your screen time settings.  Turn your phone into a phone and have someone set the password.

The same principal might apply, but I don't use it on my phone.  Nor do I have social media apps.  I am on my computer when I post on here. 

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On 1/18/2024 at 4:00 PM, Pam in CT said:

"do you want to be HELPED (=actually looking for solutions-oriented advice), do you want to be HEARD (= vent), or do you want to be HELD."  Three totally distinct things. Clarity helps.

This is so good!

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25 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

This is so good!

It *is* helpful. First because the first person who's initiating the communication has actually to figure out whether we want to be heard / helped / held;

and then because it makes clear what the second person can do to respond to the first person's distress. 

That first step is just as critical as the communication/ response piece.

 

We didn't make it up; it came from an ages-ago therapist.  By now it's, like, automatic marital code LOL.

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I’m going to try ten minute email to get rid of my account lol.  I struggle with any social media site including this one and it stinks we can’t delete our account.  I’m not tempted by sites I can’t post on 😂 

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28 minutes ago, Pam in CT said:

It *is* helpful. First because the first person who's initiating the communication has actually to figure out whether we want to be heard / helped / held;

and then because it makes clear what the second person can do to respond to the first person's distress. 

That first step is just as critical as the communication/ response piece.

 

We didn't make it up; it came from an ages-ago therapist.  By now it's, like, automatic marital code LOL.

I figured it probably came from somewhere--I've heard something like that before, but this was a good reminder. Dh and I have been married a long time, and while not using those exact words, we are good at articulating what we need. However, for younger members of the family, this is definitely a good protocol to pass on.

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