People who start an argument....

[fairfarmhand]

And then when you start trying to work out what they meant or have the discussion say "Never mind. Forget it, You don't care anyway."

 

GAH!!!!!!

What in the HECK!

[Katy]

nvm, oversharing

Edited October 19, 2023 by Katy

[Indigo Blue]

Similarly, I dislike when people take one thing you say and twist your words to mean something entirely different, and they won’t listen as you bewilderingly try to explain that,  no, you did not mean it that way, but they continue to try to back  you into a smaller and smaller corner, and suddenly, you are the bad guy who has this horrible idea, belief, opinion, etc. 

Just infuriating. 

[fairfarmhand]

3 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

Similarly, I dislike when people take one thing you say and twist your words to mean something entirely different, and they won’t listen as you bewilderingly try to explain that,  no, you did not mean it that way, but they continue to try to back  you into a smaller and smaller corner, and suddenly, you are the bad guy who has this horrible idea, belief, opinion, etc. 

Just infuriating. 

Oh that also was a part of my discussion with this person this morning. And then, when I tried to engage it was “never mind. Forget it.”

[Melissa Louise]

Failure of emotional regulation in two parts - first, externalizing inner bad feeling by starting the argument; then, belatedly realizing they've done that, not being able to acknowledge it, but needing to walk away from the failure in order to save self from shame/blame.

 

[fairfarmhand]

1 hour ago, Melissa Louise said:

Failure of emotional regulation in two parts - first, externalizing inner bad feeling by starting the argument; then, belatedly realizing they've done that, not being able to acknowledge it, but needing to walk away from the failure in order to save self from shame/blame.

 

My Brain knows this, but the interactions still make me STABBY!

[Melissa Louise]

39 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

My Brain knows this, but the interactions still make me STABBY!

I mean, fair. 

[bookbard]

I will add, people who start an argument and then when you engage with evidence, start going, haha, you're so triggered by this, I knew I could set you off, can't cope with hearing anything that disagrees . . . in other words deflecting so they don't have to provide evidence back. So now it's pretend I don't hear and ignore (which of course gets the response of 'can't argue with that, huh?)

[KSera]

5 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

And then when you start trying to work out what they meant or have the discussion say "Never mind. Forget it, You don't care anyway."

 

GAH!!!!!!

What in the HECK!

One of these in my life. I hear you.

5 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Similarly, I dislike when people take one thing you say and twist your words to mean something entirely different, and they won’t listen as you bewilderingly try to explain that,  no, you did not mean it that way, but they continue to try to back  you into a smaller and smaller corner, and suddenly, you are the bad guy who has this horrible idea, belief, opinion, etc. 

Just infuriating. 

And this is part of the dynamic for them as well.

3 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

Failure of emotional regulation in two parts - first, externalizing inner bad feeling by starting the argument; then, belatedly realizing they've done that, not being able to acknowledge it, but needing to walk away from the failure in order to save self from shame/blame.

 

And wise words from Melissa. That's a good take on what is likely happening internally and might help me to remember that.