Vida Winter Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I would like to know your experience. We are pulling out daughter out of 8th grade immediately. I have posted on the curriculum board regarding what materials to use. What I want to know here is how to encourage learning from a teenager who is almost certain to be resentful and sulky. There is no option for her to get back into public school, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I think the fact that there is no option will help settle things. I'm sure you'll get some great advice from others who have done this. I think I would take a little time if possible and go through the "deprograming". Field trips, writing about subjects that interest her, find some different activities, get used to being with the family and get out of the middle school mind set. I wish you well. I'm sure it will pay off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingmommy Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I pulled my daughter out of public school in sixth grade. What I failed to realize was that she really needed that "de-schooling" time. Unfortunately, I had signed her up for a charter school and we didn't have an opportunity for some down time. We ended up dumping the charter school and taking the last month and a half of the school year, plus the whole summer off. It helped a lot. Now, if my daughter starts giving me any trouble, I will drive past the public school and say, "I need to stop here and see what we need to do to enroll you." She immediately stops giving me a hard time and does her work with no complaints. For a while anyway. LOL She really, really does not want to go back to public school! Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Wow I have not ever contemplated this exact scenario but assume it is a mighty change. Dd is in 8th being hsed by yours truly. I am however convinced from my personal experience and several books I have read including Reviving Ophelia and Hang on to Your Kids Why Parents Need to Matter more than Peers by Gordon Neufeld that there is little doubt that middle school is the pits socially, spiritually , psychologically ad infinitum. Freedom in every area possible is our approach apart from a few core academic subjects . Within those parameters it is choice about musical instrument, art emphasis(jewelry,loom weaving and crazy quilting) and even with the great books for history and literature as TWTMsuggests we give leeway. For every year since 6th we have electives as well. Anthropology, archeology,psychology, informal logic, French and Living Religions of the World are the choices she picks one per year. I find that being flexible regarding reading materials such as Les Miserables or A Tale of Two Cities her choice makes the entire year go much smoother. Hormones are a pain and I am adamant that they not rule her conduct. I just remind her that I understand that biology is part of who she is , maturity is controlling the evil meanies that make her roll her eyes and huff over nothing. She laughs at me says I am batty and we go on. I also find that saying something positive about her work every day helps with the teen meanies. Middle school did so much damage to me and I wish there was an alternative back then. This is no bed of roses either but by golly at least dd will not learn to be shallow, meek or a follower from being suffocated by her own efforts to fit in which invariably lead to destroying an authentic self. She might not see it today but this is the most liberating thing you can do for her to follow her own interests not those imposed by the crowd. Best of luck with your new adventure together . St Francis's quote really says all I need to know about you-everything is going to work out just fine. Peace be with you . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Dana, What about something like Grace Llewellyn's Real Lives book as a jumping off point of her gaining freedom from school. Though it sounds as if you are planning on a more traditional homeschool method (I haven't read the other board to know for sure), she still will have more ability to follow interests and such. What do you believe her concerns will be? Are there ways for you to address some of that? As it turns out, my ds has been in a virtual academy since Oct of last year (homeschooled before that). We are pulling him and starting to homeschool also. We are doing things a little differently this next semester and then will have a more traditional looking high school program in the fall. Of course, I would imagine there are some CONSIDERABLE differences in your situation from ours. But I do know what it is like to change gears somewhat in the middle of 8th grade :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 We pulled our kids out when my oldest was entering 7th. My kids wanted to homeschool and were looking forward to it so that's a bit different, but I agree with the others that I would deschool for a while. I would start with the bare basic core subjects and go easy. Maybe math and grammar at first with some trips to the library for her to pick out some books. You can add in the rest as you both get used to things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I removed my ds from school when he was at the end of sixth grade, and he had never been anywhere else. WE had the summer to destress, and then I started a pretty traditional seventh grade program in the fall. Our first task was establishing me as the authority and teacher, and the terms of our changed relationship. But he was younger than your daughter so that makes difference. I get the feeling you are removing her to solve some kind of problem, so that may be the focus of the first few months. Best of luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Keep a positive attitude yourself. Make hot chocolate in the middle of the day, go out for a simple lunch, if you have a pet - take it to the park during the "school day", read aloud humorous books, build a fire and work next to it. These are the little things I do to make homeschooling more "home-y" and less "school-y". Good luck and give it time and build in something fun to help the two of you bond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Our son came out at the end of the eigth grade. We were moving, so that helped a lot. The ties to the school friends will be the hardest...keep the good ones and let the undesirable ones drift away. Having PS friends kept my son stirrred up about whether or not to homeschool. Not good. Having a few homeschooled friends really helped. Being on a homeschooled sports league was terrific. I agree with the deschooling idea. Don't do school like the schools do it. Ask her if she could study ANYTHING what would it be? Go to the library and bookstore and gather all the material you can on that subject. Read, read, read...do some hands on projects or field trips. Make a scrapbook of what she finds and learns. Then ask the question again... We've always let our guys sleep until the school bus goes past. ;) It just reinforces the 'fun' part of homeschool. Schooling in PJs, going on neat family field trips, doing interesting things that kids stuck in a school can't do. You can do it and do it well. She may have issues with you as the authority figure, but you'll work them out. Be pleasant, persistant, patient, and powerful. :D Between now and next fall you will learn a lot and so will she. In addition to Grace Llewellen, also read A Thomas Jefferson Education. The idea of a student spending the day learning something of interest to them, then reporting on that in writing and vocally is appealing. You can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 You didn't give specifics, so just ignore if this doesn't apply... In our case when a dd was pulled it had to do with some lying and sneaking around. I wanted her to know that above all, I love her. When I took her to clear out her locker and check out of her classes, we went out to eat and my message was clear... I don't like the behavior, but I LOVE you. These years will slip by and you are her mom for life, look for moments to nurture that relationship. Sometimes that is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 You didn't give specifics, so just ignore if this doesn't apply... In our case when a dd was pulled it had to do with some lying and sneaking around. I wanted her to know that above all, I love her. When I took her to clear out her locker and check out of her classes, we went out to eat and my message was clear... I don't like the behavior, but I LOVE you. These years will slip by and you are her mom for life, look for moments to nurture that relationship. Sometimes that is hard. Some rather serious offenses have occurred. I can't say here though. Suffice it to say that PS is simply - over and done with. We homeschooled K-5 with her and she went into PS for 6th until now (mid 8th). She is doing fine academically, it is other stuff I need to deal with. In my opinion we homeschool and PS was the experiment - it failed and now we are getting back to what we know works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Thanks for your input everyone! Keep it coming. I need to go out of town today and will be back tonight. :grouphug: Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 My friend has her daughter in PS and I can say that as I look at their experiences, I am trying to make sure I don't repeat them. Her daughter is able to go off campus during lunch or leave and not attend classes, and only later (if she's the one that gets the call) know that she skipped. It just leaves too much room for things to happen, if your child leans towards getting in some trouble. Her daughter is now "put on restriction" and with her all the time....(except school time) and that's just not where I want to be. SO, I don't ever expect my daughter to be in public school. By the time she's 17, I want to be "letting her fly" instead of scared of what I've allowed to happen. Of course, the fact that I live down the street from the PS highschool and have seen all the kids every day for 7 years, reminds me that no child I have custody of, will ever voluntarily spend their day there. (maybe 1-2 classes...) I am part of the Classical Conversations community that is happening in Salem; there is also another group that is starting for next year for jr high/ highschool students. If you want to know about either of these, you're welcome to pm me:-) Also, there are First Class co-ops opening all over. I've heard that the book about TJ education is great to read (I mean, for her:-) I also plan on having my oldest read the Bludorn's book on Teaching the Trivium. Not that she will truly grasp it now, although she may, but so that she will understand what I want for her. My 5th grader, although she wasn't sure about being totally homeschooled (this is her first full-time hs year) wouldn't trade getting up and going to school for anything. She might miss the field trips, but not much else. My 11th grader just decided to get out of PS and be homeschooled... (she's doing some classes at PS and the rest at the homeschool group.) If you are close enough for CC, you could come and see what a class is like... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 When ds was 5, I had the opportunity to watch a junior high girl that was just pulled out of PS change from a sulky, whiny brat to a lovely, interesting young lady. We were in a hs group that met weekly at the park. At the beginning of the school year, she would sit and look at the school (next door) and moan about how much she missed her friends. She met another girl her age at the park and eventually they became friends. Both their moms allowed them to spend hours together during the school day/week. This is not something that PS kids have time for. They developed a close friendship. The young woman found out what it was like to have a real friend. Towards the end of the year, we were at the local theatre, and as she watched the school buses roll in, she commented on how the kids were like cattle, and she was so glad that she wasn't there anymore. If your dd is extroverted, get involved in a hs group and make sure that she has the opportunity to meet other kids her age. Taking a child out of PS and keeping them home in isolation (unless that's what they want) makes for trouble, imo. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vida Winter Posted December 26, 2008 Author Share Posted December 26, 2008 If your dd is extroverted, get involved in a hs group and make sure that she has the opportunity to meet other kids her age. Taking a child out of PS and keeping them home in isolation (unless that's what they want) makes for trouble, imo. Good luck! We'll be home in isolation for a while, I'm afraid. We are going to do Tae Kwon Do two nights per week, that is all the outside exposure planned for now. We live in a very remote area and it is extremely cold this winter. Not much going on in town. We may take up skiing if it warms up a bit. Or possibly cross country skiing at our house. I'm afraid her intent is to make us all miserable for as long as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I'm afraid her intent is to make us all miserable for as long as possible. :grouphug: I think the main thing with this statement is to keep that in mind - she is going to try to retain/gain the upper hand and bring you down in her misery. I'm sure you have said it, but i'd keep up with the "no matter what you do or say, our parental decision won't change." Hang in there..... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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