secular family looking for warm city to plant roots

[moderatelycrunchy]

Hello! My family is currently looking to move to a place that is better for homeschooling. We live in an area in the northeast that has very limited homeschooling resources (fellow homeschooler families, things to do, etc.) and over-regulation by the state, to the point where our children can't be in public school programs like sports. 

We are looking for a place that has the following criteria, and we are hoping that some of the great minds here can speak to any locations that seem like a good fit!

Additional information: we are a single-income family ($150K) and I work remotely, so any place in the USA is an option for us.

Our wishes:

• Vibrant homeschool community that is open to secular families (we are fine with religious friends; we just don't want to live somewhere where the only place to meet people is through church.) 
• Warm climate where we can be outside for most of the year without bundling up. We don't want to be trapped inside due to cold or wind.
• Good hiking/swimming (30 mins or less to beach is a HUGE plus).
• Scenic location -- trees in neighborhoods, etc. Minimal strip malls, etc. 
• Healthy culture (farmer's markets, CSAs, people out running/rollerblading). We are vegan and it would be great to have plant-based options. 
• Lots of families with parents in their early thirties.
• Lots of educational opportunities, like art classes, swimming classes, music lessons, sports, etc.

[Sneezyone]

Hawaii

[Clarita]

California is pretty decent. The big problem you are going to encounter is cost, especially if you are near the beach and it's scenic. Housing prices are coming down so it might be better. 

Homeschooling

For homeschooling there isn't much regulation from the state. For minimal state involvement you just fill out paperwork to say you are a private school (Private School Affidavit). I don't know if traditional public schools would allow you to join them for stuff and that may differ between districts. There are a number of private schools in my area who would allow homeschoolers to join their sports programs. There are also homeschool charter schools which can give you some funds to purchase curriculum and stuff. There is variation within those as to how much oversight you have to deal with and you will have to do state testing (starting in 3rd grade).

I live in an area with pretty bad school districts. So there are a lot of programs for homeschoolers and a lot of homeschoolers with a lot of different views and reasons. I meet a lot of homeschool friends just through activities we do. 

Location

Scenic, near beaches, cute locations exist but they are also desirable locations so it will be more expensive. I don't know if the affordable, cute, scenic location near the beach exists somewhere in the state, but then likely you will be farther from an urban/suburban center with a lot of activities. Weather, I think people living anywhere else would say you can be outside 365 days a year here. Although you start to acclimate to the weather here and you will become a wimp temperature-wise. 

Food

There is a lot of food options available. Tons of farm to table options, farmers markets, CSA's etc. You can totally eat locally grown fruits and vegetables year round. Lots of vegan options.     

[moderatelycrunchy]

3 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

Hawaii

We are strongly considering Hawaii! We used to live on the Big Island, but are thinking Maui or Oahu would be a better fit. Do you live there? Any thoughts are welcome. 

[Sneezyone]

8 minutes ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

We are strongly considering Hawaii! We used to live on the Big Island, but are thinking Maui or Oahu would be a better fit. Do you live there? Any thoughts are welcome. 

We’ve lived there twice and, while costly, it tics all of your boxes.

[moderatelycrunchy]

2 hours ago, Clarita said:

California is pretty decent. The big problem you are going to encounter is cost, especially if you are near the beach and it's scenic. Housing prices are coming down so it might be better. 

Homeschooling

For homeschooling there isn't much regulation from the state. For minimal state involvement you just fill out paperwork to say you are a private school (Private School Affidavit). I don't know if traditional public schools would allow you to join them for stuff and that may differ between districts. There are a number of private schools in my area who would allow homeschoolers to join their sports programs. There are also homeschool charter schools which can give you some funds to purchase curriculum and stuff. There is variation within those as to how much oversight you have to deal with and you will have to do state testing (starting in 3rd grade).

I live in an area with pretty bad school districts. So there are a lot of programs for homeschoolers and a lot of homeschoolers with a lot of different views and reasons. I meet a lot of homeschool friends just through activities we do. 

Location

Scenic, near beaches, cute locations exist but they are also desirable locations so it will be more expensive. I don't know if the affordable, cute, scenic location near the beach exists somewhere in the state, but then likely you will be farther from an urban/suburban center with a lot of activities. Weather, I think people living anywhere else would say you can be outside 365 days a year here. Although you start to acclimate to the weather here and you will become a wimp temperature-wise. 

Food

There is a lot of food options available. Tons of farm to table options, farmers markets, CSA's etc. You can totally eat locally grown fruits and vegetables year round. Lots of vegan options.     

California is definitely a top contender for us. Not sure if the wildfires / smoke are impact daily life for much of the year, but that's something for us to consider. We aren't a fan of some of the politics, but we don't anticipate it will really affect us. Mostly, I'm not sure if the cost of living is feasible on our salary, but maybe we could find some neighborhoods that would work. Do you live in California? Would love some elaboration! 

[moderatelycrunchy]

18 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

We’ve lived there twice and, while costly, it tics all of your boxes.

Which island did you live on? Yes, the cost of living is something to consider, but we think we could make it work. We didn't love the geographic isolation, but it really is an incredible place to live. 

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

Which island did you live on? Yes, the cost of living is something to consider, but we think we could make it work. We didn't love the geographic isolation, but it really is an incredible place to live. 

We lived on Oahu both times. Some folks get island fever but that was never an issue for us.

[moderatelycrunchy]

4 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

We lived on Oahu both times. Some folks get island fever but that was never an issue for us.

We didn't get island fever on the Big Island either, but it definitely didn't have even 1/10th of the things to do that Oahu has. Were you near Honolulu or did you live North Shore or Kailua? What did you like about living on Oahu? 

[Sneezyone]

7 minutes ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

We didn't get island fever on the Big Island either, but it definitely didn't have even 1/10th of the things to do that Oahu has. Were you near Honolulu or did you live North Shore or Kailua? What did you like about living on Oahu? 

Both times, we lived in Honolulu but had some friends choose kapolei and Hawaii Kai. Ewa is too far (and cramped) for me, personally. North Shore is nice too just not convenient if you work in the city.

Edited April 8, 2023 by Sneezyone

[moderatelycrunchy]

35 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

Both times, we lived in Honolulu but had some friends choose kapolei and Hawaii Kai. Ewa is too far (and cramped) for me, personally. North Shore is nice too just not convenient if you work in the city.

Makes sense. We'd be remote, so no concerns about working in town. 

[Clarita]

16 minutes ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

California is definitely a top contender for us. Not sure if the wildfires / smoke are impact daily life for much of the year, but that's something for us to consider. We aren't a fan of some of the politics, but we don't anticipate it will really affect us. Mostly, I'm not sure if the cost of living is feasible on our salary, but maybe we could find some neighborhoods that would work. Do you live in California? Would love some elaboration! 

Yes I live in California, specifically in the San Francisco Bay Area but not in San Francisco. Affordability is certainly a problem here. Our worst wildfire/smoke year we had to stay inside probably for 1-2 months indoors. In addition, they turn off our grid power when they deem it "unsafe" now, on the plus side usually when that happens if you have solar and batteries you can have power because there is a decent chance of it also being sunny then.

The cost of living is definitely the hinderance, I checked with my husband and $150K close to the beach will be a shocking drop in the standard of living that you might be used to. Low Sierras (Fresno, Mariposa, Clovis) those are pretty areas but not coastal. Central Valley seems to have a lot of homeschool stuff but it's not cute and not coastal. Southern California has more beach vibes warm beaches vs. cold beaches of northern California and is a little cheaper than where I live, not winning any affordability awards.       

[moderatelycrunchy]

1 minute ago, Clarita said:

Yes I live in California, specifically in the San Francisco Bay Area but not in San Francisco. Affordability is certainly a problem here. Our worst wildfire/smoke year we had to stay inside probably for 1-2 months indoors. In addition, they turn off our grid power when they deem it "unsafe" now, on the plus side usually when that happens if you have solar and batteries you can have power because there is a decent chance of it also being sunny then.

The cost of living is definitely the hinderance, I checked with my husband and $150K close to the beach will be a shocking drop in the standard of living that you might be used to. Low Sierras (Fresno, Mariposa, Clovis) those are pretty areas but not coastal. Central Valley seems to have a lot of homeschool stuff but it's not cute and not coastal. Southern California has more beach vibes warm beaches vs. cold beaches of northern California and is a little cheaper than where I live, not winning any affordability awards.       

Thank you for the info! Southern California is more appealing to us than the San Fran area, but it is definitely pricey. We are in an expensive Northeast suburb, so we are used to wild housing prices, but we would ideally like to escape that. 

[Arcadia]

Deleted 

Edited April 11, 2023 by Arcadia

[73349]

If you decide Hawaii and California are too expensive, you might look at somewhere like Chapel Hill, NC. It's close enough to where you are now that you could easily visit to see if you like it.

I don't think they have homeschoolers playing PS sports, but there are a lot of homeschooling families in the Triangle and lots of activities available. It's two hours to the beach, still doable for a day trip and you're far enough inland that hurricanes aren't much of an issue. Lots of hiking and camping opportunities in the area. It's a university town. Some vegan-friendly restaurants in nearby Durham and Raleigh, and some in CH as well. Grocery shopping at Wegmans and Whole Foods, or shop small at Weaver Street Market. RDU is the airport, and there are Amtrak stations in Durham, Cary, and Raleigh.

[moderatelycrunchy]

7 hours ago, 73349 said:

If you decide Hawaii and California are too expensive, you might look at somewhere like Chapel Hill, NC. It's close enough to where you are now that you could easily visit to see if you like it.

I don't think they have homeschoolers playing PS sports, but there are a lot of homeschooling families in the Triangle and lots of activities available. It's two hours to the beach, still doable for a day trip and you're far enough inland that hurricanes aren't much of an issue. Lots of hiking and camping opportunities in the area. It's a university town. Some vegan-friendly restaurants in nearby Durham and Raleigh, and some in CH as well. Grocery shopping at Wegmans and Whole Foods, or shop small at Weaver Street Market. RDU is the airport, and there are Amtrak stations in Durham, Cary, and Raleigh.

Thank you for the suggestion! We are leaning towards Virginia. The politics in California aren't a good fit for us. We are pretty liberal, but not liberal enough. 

Do you have any thoughts on NC compared to Virginia, maybe like Charlottesville Virginia? Would love to know your thoughts. 

[Sneezyone]

11 minutes ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

Thank you for the suggestion! We are leaning towards Virginia. The politics in California aren't a good fit for us. We are pretty liberal, but not liberal enough. 

Do you have any thoughts on NC compared to Virginia, maybe like Charlottesville Virginia? Would love to know your thoughts. 

So, this region is mixed. You can definitely find your people and you will definitely run into not your people, lol. I find Charlottesville quaint. It's small. There's not a lot going on. If that's what you're looking for, land/housing is definitely cheaper than elsewhere in the state. The advantage of NC is the affordability of higher education.

[moderatelycrunchy]

31 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

So, this region is mixed. You can definitely find your people and you will definitely run into not your people, lol. I find Charlottesville quaint. It's small. There's not a lot going on. If that's what you're looking for, land/housing is definitely cheaper than elsewhere in the state. The advantage of NC is the affordability of higher education.

I think we'd like a bit more going on. We don't want to live in town, necessarily, but we would like to be 15ish minutes away from things to do. We are looking into Richmond, VA. We've also been recommended to look into Cookeville, TN. So we are checking those out too! 

[Sneezyone]

2 hours ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

I think we'd like a bit more going on. We don't want to live in town, necessarily, but we would like to be 15ish minutes away from things to do. We are looking into Richmond, VA. We've also been recommended to look into Cookeville, TN. So we are checking those out too! 

Richmond is cool. Cookville is probably not what you’re looking for since it’s smaller than Charlottesville. Like, d’you want to see the occasional touring Broadway show/theater production? It won’t be there or anywhere close.

[moderatelycrunchy]

1 hour ago, Sneezyone said:

Richmond is cool. Cookville is probably not what you’re looking for since it’s smaller than Charlottesville. Like, d’you want to see the occasional touring Broadway show/theater production? It won’t be there or anywhere close.

That's good to know. Someone REALLY hyped up Cookville and made it seem like a total dream. Maybe they just love living there? Not sure. 

[The Governess]

4 hours ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

Thank you for the suggestion! We are leaning towards Virginia. The politics in California aren't a good fit for us. We are pretty liberal, but not liberal enough. 

Do you have any thoughts on NC compared to Virginia, maybe like Charlottesville Virginia? Would love to know your thoughts. 

There are some CA counties that are less liberal than others - it is a huge state and there is definitely political diversity. Some areas are actually pretty conservative.

Edited April 13, 2023 by The Governess

[Frances]

I don’t know how cold is too cold for you. Oregon would fit all of your criteria expect potentially the weather one, but most people here remain active year round.

Check out Village Home in Portland if you are interested in a large, secular homeschool center.

Bend or southern Oregon would be warmer. 
 

Unfortunately, the COL is high pretty much everywhere in the state due to housing prices.

Homeschoolers here can participate in public school sports and music and at the district’s discretion, even take classes.

[moderatelycrunchy]

On 4/13/2023 at 12:08 AM, The Governess said:

There are some CA counties that are less liberal than others - it is a huge state and there is definitely political diversity. Some areas are actually pretty conservative.

Yes, for sure! We are aware of that; we just mean that we don't want to be touched by some of the policies like mask mandates, the new reparations bills, etc.

[moderatelycrunchy]

On 4/13/2023 at 1:03 AM, Frances said:

I don’t know how cold is too cold for you. Oregon would fit all of your criteria expect potentially the weather one, but most people here remain active year round.

Check out Village Home in Portland if you are interested in a large, secular homeschool center.

Bend or southern Oregon would be warmer. 
 

Unfortunately, the COL is high pretty much everywhere in the state due to housing prices.

Homeschoolers here can participate in public school sports and music and at the district’s discretion, even take classes.

I think Oregon would be fine temperature-wise, but I get seasonal depression from the lack of sun, so we really need to be somewhere where there is a decent amount of sun. I've heard good things about Bend! We don't mind a higher COL because we are coming from an insanely high COL so anywhere else will likely be lower for us. 

It's great to know that homeschoolers can participate in public school sports & music --  you're referring to Oregon, right? 

[Clemsondana]

We live near Knoxville and I'm confident that I could happily live on Cookeville.  The kids that I know who got to TN Tech love it, and their families love visiting them there. But, I don't have a lot of need for stuff to do - I'm the type to be content with an outing to see a high school or college ball game with dinner at the concession stand (or maybe I've just adapted to it since that is what my life looks like right now!).  🙂  People who live in Cookeville would likely drive to Nashville or Knoxville to do something like a Broadway show.  So, I could easily imagine somebody really loving it, but I'm not sure whether it would work for you if someplace like Charlottesville wouldn't be busy enough.  

[Aleyed]

My family and I lived on Oahu for 4 years and are likely moving back early next year.  We are also secular, vegan homeschoolers, so as soon as I read your post I thought "Yes! Hawaii!"  We lived in Mililani before, which is central and is much cooler in temperature than other areas, but are planning to live in Honolulu when we return, since there is much more to do there.  I believe the central Oahu park is home to a weekly homeschool meetup, however, so living in Mililani would keep you close to that.  North Shore is also gorgeous and way less crowded than Honolulu if you want to go to the beach, and is about a 15- 20 minute drive from Mililani.  There are turtles there most of the time (giant sea turtles!) and snorkeling up there is wonderful too since it's super clear.  The Mililani High parking lot had a weekly farmer's market and monthly food trucks, so I feel the area was a nice mix of suburban safety with typical Hawaiian beauty surrounding you.  Also, no matter where you live, it's about an hour to get where you want to go, two hours at most, so you're never having to drive TOO far.

[ScoutTN]

On 4/12/2023 at 9:40 PM, Sneezyone said:

Richmond is cool. Cookville is probably not what you’re looking for since it’s smaller than Charlottesville. Like, d’you want to see the occasional touring Broadway show/theater production? It won’t be there or anywhere close.

If you want TN, Nashville is way better than Cookeville. But I’m not sure it really meets your criteria. It’s 7 hrs from the Gulf and 10 from the Atlantic. We do have winter, but shortcand mild compared to the northeast. LOTS of homeschoolers, ps sports access, beautiful area. Not lots of in-person local classes for secular homeschoolers at the middle snd high school level. Nice city with a decent symphony, museums, pro sports, shopping, restaurants, excellent hospitals, several universities, affordable state unis and free community college dual enrollment, no state income tax. Housing has gone up a lot, but I’m sure nothing like comparably sized northeastern cities and certainly nothing like CA. People moving here from Ca constantly now. PM me if you want more info.

Edited April 17, 2023 by ScoutTN

[moderatelycrunchy]

On 4/16/2023 at 10:52 AM, Aleyed said:

My family and I lived on Oahu for 4 years and are likely moving back early next year.  We are also secular, vegan homeschoolers, so as soon as I read your post I thought "Yes! Hawaii!"  We lived in Mililani before, which is central and is much cooler in temperature than other areas, but are planning to live in Honolulu when we return, since there is much more to do there.  I believe the central Oahu park is home to a weekly homeschool meetup, however, so living in Mililani would keep you close to that.  North Shore is also gorgeous and way less crowded than Honolulu if you want to go to the beach, and is about a 15- 20 minute drive from Mililani.  There are turtles there most of the time (giant sea turtles!) and snorkeling up there is wonderful too since it's super clear.  The Mililani High parking lot had a weekly farmer's market and monthly food trucks, so I feel the area was a nice mix of suburban safety with typical Hawaiian beauty surrounding you.  Also, no matter where you live, it's about an hour to get where you want to go, two hours at most, so you're never having to drive TOO far.

Wow this is so perfect! We lived on the Big Island but found it to be a little isolating, so Oahu would definitely be great. Unfortunately, it seems like it is WAY out of our budget. I assume you have a much higher income household than us? If not, do you rent? How are you going to make it work?

[Aleyed]

7 hours ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

Wow this is so perfect! We lived on the Big Island but found it to be a little isolating, so Oahu would definitely be great. Unfortunately, it seems like it is WAY out of our budget. I assume you have a much higher income household than us? If not, do you rent? How are you going to make it work?

We rented previously, and are likely going to need to rent again.  We were in a 2000 sqft home with a small yard in Mililani, and we had excellent landlords.  We are a military family so they raise our housing allowance along with the increase in housing prices (for the most part).  I think buying is unlikely for a LOT of people there, unless you have a generational home, because yes, the housing prices are ridiculous.

[moderatelycrunchy]

3 hours ago, Aleyed said:

We rented previously, and are likely going to need to rent again.  We were in a 2000 sqft home with a small yard in Mililani, and we had excellent landlords.  We are a military family so they raise our housing allowance along with the increase in housing prices (for the most part).  I think buying is unlikely for a LOT of people there, unless you have a generational home, because yes, the housing prices are ridiculous.

Can I ask how much you were paying in rent approximately? Trying to figure out if we can afford renting. 

[Aleyed]

6 hours ago, moderatelycrunchy said:

Can I ask how much you were paying in rent approximately? Trying to figure out if we can afford renting. 

Absolutely!  It was $2,700 a month at the time ('16-'20) and I believe our housing allowance almost matched that (around 2,800).  Military housing allowance is all the way up to 3,500 now, though, so I would guess prices have changed since the market is going kind of crazy now.  Maybe Zillow can give you a better idea.  The house was rather large for Hawaii, and had 3 bedrooms and 2 bath, but I think that price is pretty much the norm these days.  Feel free to message me if you want any more details or have other questions 🙂

[Sneezyone]

I am, *cautiously* optimistic that we'll go back in two-three more years. We're somewhat insulated from housing costs as I can work and DH would be working and our kids will both be in college. It's still our happy place and, if we get the chance, it will be our third rodeo in Hawaii. That's how much we love it.

[goldenecho]

I love San Diego.   It has a huge homeschool community, with a lot of secular homeschoolers (it's almost too huge...like you could go to a different homeschool event every day of the week but you might not see the same people).  Weather is beautiful.  Close to the ocean.  Lots of hiking trails in the hills and near the ocean too.  The only issue is cost.  At $150 K though I think you can afford it, especially since you can be anyplace in San Diego and don't have go where the good schools are.    Finding a house is also a challenge as there is a housing shortage.  Gas prices are high but  since you work from home that should be less of a problem for you.  

If you homeschool through a homeschool affidavit you have pretty broad freedom to do what you want (there's some required subjects to teach and you have to keep attendance and some other records, but generally no one is checking in on you). 

You also have the option of homeschooling through an "independent study" charter...there are several in the area.   Most provide help with buying curriculum, and often with other things like tutoring, sports, classes, etc.   All require meeting with a teacher periodically, and some have other restrictions.   But that's also a cost factor to consider, if you're willing to give away some freedom for that.

Because of this, there are less homeschool co-ops here (and those that are are often religious)--because so many homeschool through a charter, and most charters cover the sort of things co-ops usually do.   But there is lots of homeschool meet-ups, field trips, classes, and activities that don't require charter attendance. Like I mentioned, you could do a homeschool activity nearly every day if you wanted to...though I don't suggest that. 

Oh, and I noticed you said earlier that you are fairly liberal, but were worried that California was TOO liberal.  California is one of the few politically mixed counties in the state (it's a swing county...healthy mix of red and blue and independent/3rd party).   There's lots of moderates here, though there's also people on all ends of the spectrum. 

 

Edited May 5, 2023 by goldenecho