I'm so sad.

[Rhonda in TX]

I lost my mom 4 years ago today. It snowed here last night which is SO unusual, and she would have just loved that. I just really miss her. When does it stop hurting so much?

[MIch elle]

The pain became less so after the 5 yr. mark.

 

My mom has been gone 13 yrs. I cried every mother's day for 5 yrs.

 

:grouphug:

[PiCO]

The pain became less so after the 5 yr. mark.

 

My mom has been gone 13 yrs. I cried every mother's day for 5 yrs.

 

:grouphug:

 

I agree. I try to remember my mom in positive ways with my kids. Especially around the holidays we look at pictures and I tell them stories about when I was growing up.

 

But it still hurts- there's an empty place in my heart. I still cry sometimes. It's been over 20 years for me.

[WTMindy]

I'm so sorry!!!!! I can not imagine losing my mom. It makes me cry just thinking about it!!!!! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[RhondaM.]

I lost my mom 4 years ago today. It snowed here last night which is SO unusual, and she would have just loved that. I just really miss her. When does it stop hurting so much?

 

I have no idea. My mom's funeral was yesterday. And like you I was thinking how much she would have loved the snow.

 

RhondaM.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:Big hug, Rhonda.:grouphug:

[chai]

{{Rhonda}} I'm so sorry! :grouphug:

 

I lost my mother 7 years ago and there are days that I still cry. It does get easier, but it takes a long time.

[sheryl]

Rhonda, my Mom went home to be with Jesus 20 years ago last month on Nov. 4. It may take several more years...and it won't be obvious like one day you're down and the next day you're not. It is a gradual progression of emotional recovery. I know you know that already.

 

I miss my Mom, love her, and think of her. I ponder sometimes when making decisions.....what would Mom do, say? She was wise. I offer stories of my Mom to my dd.

 

Try not to compare yourself to someone else. I have always said, if you love big then the loss is big. Treat yourself well....if you feel like crying, do it. Call a friend or family member to "share".

 

In time it gets easier on a day to day basis, however there are still a few days here and there through the year which are very difficult.

 

HTH! May God comfort you with His peace!!

 

 

I lost my mom 4 years ago today. It snowed here last night which is SO unusual, and she would have just loved that. I just really miss her. When does it stop hurting so much?

[unsinkable]

I lost my mom 4 years ago today. It snowed here last night which is SO unusual, and she would have just loved that. I just really miss her. When does it stop hurting so much?

 

I'm so sorry.

:grouphug:

 

The pain changes, I think.

 

For me, I felt that intense ache less often as years went by. I steeled myself for the big days...births, wedding, anniversaries, holidays...and prepared for the pain.

 

I couldn't prepare myself for the sudden reminders of her...songs on the radio, movies in which the mom dies, a woman who looks like her, dreams of her. Those are the types of things that would bring that intense pain back as if it just happened.

 

You'll be in my thoughts.

[unsinkable]

I have no idea. My mom's funeral was yesterday. And like you I was thinking how much she would have loved the snow.

 

RhondaM.

 

RhondaM.

 

I'm so very read this. The holidays must be an awful time to say goodbye to your mom.

 

There are many women here on this board whose moms have died. It has helped me many times to get a virtual hug from someone else who know what I feel.

 

:grouphug:

 

You'll be in my thoughts.

[Mad Jenny Flint]

I know it's not the same thing, or maybe it is, depending on the relationship. It is for me. My grandmother was my guide and my touchstone. I lost her when my son was 4 mos. old and she didn't get to see him- the first thing I said when I found out was "I'm too late!" because I had planned a trip to see her the following month with my first-born. It was heart-wrenching.

 

I still cry thinking of her- it will be 14 years in March. But, I don't cry every time I think of her. I still have dreams about her, and when I see and interact with women who remind me of her in some way, it feels like a visit with her. I regard these experiences as gifts and they keep me in touch with her. I think about what she was to me, and that I want to be that to someone someday. So, she continues to live through me.

 

Your mom lives in and through you, too.

 

I guess I also take comfort in the fact that even though my grandmother was nobody special in the grand scheme of things, that she was special to me and to a few other people, and she had an influence on the world because of that. I will have an influence, too. What kind of influence will I have? Well, that is up to me. So, losing my grandmother and thinking of her in this way gives me a sense of purpose. Another gift from her.

 

Small ramblings, and I hope they are of some solace to you. Everyone has to find their own way through these pains. :grouphug:

[Jill- OK]

When does it stop hurting so much?

 

...because I'm not even at the four year mark yet, for losing my dad.

 

I've wondered when I'll stop feeling such intense grief. In a way, I don't want to, if that makes any sense, but I'm sure it will ease up, at some point.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting. I understand, unfortunately.

 

:(

[sleepy]

:grouphug::grouphug:Rhonda in Tx and RhondaM:grouphug::grouphug:

I can only imagine what it's like to lose your mother.

[Christine]

I lost my mom 4 years ago today. It snowed here last night which is SO unusual, and she would have just loved that. I just really miss her. When does it stop hurting so much?

 

I'm so sorry to hear you are hurting.

 

As a sort of silver lining though. . .Isn't this just the best opportunity to share a bit of your mother (the recent snow, and how she would have loved that) with your children?

[Kari C in SC]

The pain became less so after the 5 yr. mark.

 

My mom has been gone 13 yrs. I cried every mother's day for 5 yrs.

 

:grouphug:

 

I agree. I still have my mom (thanking God every single day. I did lose my sister in law 5 years ago this past November. She was my best friend and the loss was so extremely hard on me (and everyone else she touched). I don't cry near as much as I used to, but I still miss her a lot. Especially at certain times of the year. For me that is May and December. May is because she was a homeschool mom and we always spent a lot of May planning for the convention and new curriculum the following year. We also planned family vacations together. December is because of Christmas. She was so much a part of that for me. In fact, THIS is the first year since she died that I am really going all out with decorating. My dd is working on that right this minute and she keeps saying she can't believe how much stuff we have. I just couldn't do it these last 5 years. My son is gone to the Army and will be home for Christmas. He remembers the time before Aunt Debi was gone and I want him to come home to that. So, I think that it has taken 5 years to heal a bit, but will probably take several more years where I don't just sit and cry at least once a month. My niece was sitting at my table the other day during science. She asked me if her mom had made the mittens they hang up for Christmas stockings. I told her yes and before I knew it the tears were coming to my eyes. Then I told her how her mom had also made the fabric bags they wrap their gifts in. It is just darn hard sometimes. I just have faith that God has a plan. Hugs to you!

[HRAAB]

I lost my mom 7 yrs ago; it's not as bad as it was the first 5 years. However, just this morning I sobbed while in the shower missing her. I'm having trouble with my oldest dd, and what I wouldn't give to be able to talk to her about it.

I don't think it ever goes away completely, and things like anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or 'problems of some kind' sure can bring it to the forefront.

 

I am sorry; it's just plain hard. Have yourself a good cry, remember all the good times, and it'll get better.

 

Janet

[Rhonda in TX]

Thank you for all your kind thoughts and words. They meant a lot to me.