I feel bad for disturbing my cat's comfort

[almondbutterandjelly]

I did not let my cat sleep in my room last night.  For the prior two nights, every time I moved from bed to bedroom recliner (yes we have one), my cat jumped up to the top of the recliner and pushed her feet and back end up against my head.  This is difficult to ignore and makes it very hard to sleep.  So last night, I closed the bedroom door.

This morning, she is feeling very remote from me, and I feel bad that she hasn't gotten as much human contact as she normally does overnight.  Supposedly she was very needy this morning with dh, but when I came out, she was already on her cat tree, asleep.

Now I feel guilty.  I think I'm going to leave the bedroom door open tonight.  Should I gently push her off the top of the recliner when she tries to join me, or accept it for a loving gesture and not disturb her comfort?

Cat guilt.  I am her staff and she has me trained well.

[catz]

Cat parenting can be rough.  One of my cats thought 3 am was time for my bath and started licking my arm.  😂🙄   I bet kitty will hit you up for some love later at her convenience.  I am way too accommodating of my cats and their diva quirks.   But sleep is important!

[katilac]

Move her. She'll be mad. She'll get over it. If you don't mind her in your lap, just pull her down rather than pushing her off. If she doesn't want that (or you don't), she can go sleep with dh. 

It might take more than once. I had to move one of our cats a ridiculous number of times when she became determined to sleep just above my head. It was in bed, so not actually that uncomfortable, but she snores 😄

[ktgrok]

Do you think she felt this guilty over disrupting your sleep so many nights? No? Than why should you feel guilty over not letting her stick her butt on your head and keep you awake?

Would you let your husband sit with his butt on your head and keep you awake? No? Then why let your cat?

It is okay to have healthy boundaries, even with our pets. I promise. Your body is your own. Your sleep is important to your health. You do not need to tolerate someone touching your body in a way you don't like, or disrupting your sleep that way. 

Put another way, you NEED sleep. The cat WANTS to put her butt on your head. Needs come before wants in healthy relationships. 

I am a HUGE HUGE animal lover, I worked in vet clinics for two decades, I have rescued and fostered multiple animals, I recently was helping care for an injured homing pigeon, and I recently told my husband, when he got jealous of me loving on the dog, "Honey, I love you as much as I could love any non-dog". So yeah, I get it. But people tend to treat their pets as babies. Your cat, if older than a year old, is an adult. Would you let any other adult treat you like that? No. You and kitty will have a better relationship if you are not a door mat and end up resenting kitty at some point. 

[Carrie12345]

Oh, you are way too kind. I plot revenge every time my cat disturbs my sleep. That may be why he’s always trying to kill me...

[KrissiK]

Oh, my cat has me trained, too. I don’t make the bed if she’s gotten there first. She demands fresh, running water from the sink. I acquiesce.
#thesteuggleisreal.

[almondbutterandjelly]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

 Than why should you feel guilty over not letting her stick her butt on your head and keep you awake?

Would you let your husband sit with his butt on your head and keep you awake? No? Then why let your cat?

The cat WANTS to put her butt on your head. 

I am literally laughing out loud!  Oh, my eyes are watering.  Thanks, Katie!

[almondbutterandjelly]

Oh my goodness!  That face!  Love!!!

[vonbon]

Hmmm...  Yeah, she's pretty cute buuuuuut.... 

I'm loving Katie's post.  I'm currently dealing with 2 new-to-us mares (horses) and learning to establish good boundaries. 

One would totally sleep with her butt in our bed if we let her...and would do any other dang thing she pleased if she could get away with it.  

On 6/20/2020 at 7:05 AM, Ktgrok said:

But people tend to treat their pets as babies. Your cat, if older than a year old, is an adult. Would you let any other adult treat you like that? No. You and kitty will have a better relationship if you are not a door mat and end up resenting kitty at some point. 

These horses are "adults"... We can't treat them like babies or we'll have some major issues weighing in at 1000 pounds.  I think the cat is the same scenario, just smaller and fluffier.  😄

[gardenmom5]

she has trained you very well.  But, you can't be good staff if you are exhausted because you haven't slept.

[ktgrok]

On 6/20/2020 at 11:53 AM, Indigo Blue said:

I admit mine is spoiled. She rules and she knows it. She’s got me hook, line, and sinker.

Here is one of the days where the bed did not get made. 😊

Ok, so that may be the most gorgeous cat I've ever seen. Wow. 

4 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

she has trained you very well.  But, you can't be good staff if you are exhausted because you haven't slept.

Ha! Truth. 

and less anyone think I'm very firm with my kitties, the old man has me trained to give him food almost every time I go in the kitchen. He will meow and meow until I give in. I'm totally trained. (but he's old, and although his thyroid lvels are fine, kidneys, etc...we check lab work frequently) he has lost weight over the past two years and so he really does need to eat)

[Tiberia]

Kodiak has responded: "Foolish Human, you have been chosen. It is a great honor to have a Blessed One sit on your head. Your sleep is unimportant; the comfort of the Blessed One is all. Change your wicked ways or you will be shunned."