Remediating a grade after public school

[Shahrazad]

DS turns 8 in July. He was in 2nd grade until COVID19 put a stop to public school and I decided to take this as my opportunity to withdraw him and homeschool him again. For years, he has told me that he hates school. He's been in two different schools plus an awesome nursery program. He's had teachers he adored. He's had many friends. He's super quiet and withdrawn in school, always. We expected it would improve with time but this aspect hasn't changed over the years. So, I would like to take a more holistic approach to his school and slow it down so he can discover at least a little love of learning. He is super artsy and loves animals. If this upcoming year, instead of going forward into "third grade curriculum", I had him do something a bit less intensive (like Oak Meadow 2 or more Blossom & Root for example), but that would only meet second grade standards likely instead of third, would that be crazy? My major concern is that I live in Ohio, and I have to prove that he's keeping up with grade level at the end of the year, but is that based off of the last grade he was in school? At 7-8 years old, he would have been a young third grader anyway and easily could still be in second grade. I'm also concerned because having worked with him 1:1 now, I can tell that the objectives he was supposedly meeting in school are not actually met and he's been able to slide by in a large class of students. I understand that homeschooling isn't subject to the same grade level labels that schools use but I'm just wondering if this would be more inadvisable because he's already been in public school second grade (although he obviously did not finish it there due to the pandemic).

[8filltheheart]

From my long-term homeschooling perspective, it is pretty hard to be behind in 2nd grade or 3rd grade. I know nothing about Ohio state law, but I have homeschooled in multiple states and proving progress usually has a very low threshold (like above the 25th%).  I would encourage you to understand your state law specifically.

I have taken my last child through 4th this yr (8th time through).  I also work with my grandkids who are in 3rd and 2nd.   Primary/lower elementary grades are about learning how to read, how to correctly form letters, and basic math skills.  Anything beyond that is icing.  My kids spend about 1 hr per grade level on focused academics, so K is about an hr, 1st is 1 to 1 1/2 hrs, 2nd is 2 to 2 1/2 hrs.  It doesn't take much concentrated effort to progress through age appropriate materials.  

All that is to say, I would probably keep him a 3rd grader next yr, work at his level, make learning interesting and enjoyable, and not stress about grade level so much as just meeting him where he is functioning.  YOu might be surprised and see that working 1-on-1 leads to rapid leaps and progression.

[Shahrazad]

3 hours ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

From my long-term homeschooling perspective, it is pretty hard to be behind in 2nd grade or 3rd grade. I know nothing about Ohio state law, but I have homeschooled in multiple states and proving progress usually has a very low threshold (like above the 25th%).  I would encourage you to understand your state law specifically.

I have taken my last child through 4th this yr (8th time through).  I also work with my grandkids who are in 3rd and 2nd.   Primary/lower elementary grades are about learning how to read, how to correctly form letters, and basic math skills.  Anything beyond that is icing.  My kids spend about 1 hr per grade level on focused academics, so K is about an hr, 1st is 1 to 1 1/2 hrs, 2nd is 2 to 2 1/2 hrs.  It doesn't take much concentrated effort to progress through age appropriate materials.  

All that is to say, I would probably keep him a 3rd grader next yr, work at his level, make learning interesting and enjoyable, and not stress about grade level so much as just meeting him where he is functioning.  YOu might be surprised and see that working 1-on-1 leads to rapid leaps and progression.

 

This is a really good point. He's actually reading fairly well (he can read a Magic Tree House reader, for example) and he's still getting fairly on-level instruction with Dancing Bears/ Apples and Pears, and Right Start. Ultimately, that is likely what they'd be evaluating a grade level from, not the level of a general curriculum I use or what level of history and science he is doing. I just needed some reassurance that it is okay to slow it down to where he actually is and not overwhelm him by trying to meet him where the school claimed he was.

[Ellie]

4 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

DS turns 8 in July. He was in 2nd grade until COVID19 put a stop to public school and I decided to take this as my opportunity to withdraw him and homeschool him again. For years, he has told me that he hates school. He's been in two different schools plus an awesome nursery program. He's had teachers he adored. He's had many friends. He's super quiet and withdrawn in school, always. We expected it would improve with time but this aspect hasn't changed over the years. So, I would like to take a more holistic approach to his school and slow it down so he can discover at least a little love of learning. He is super artsy and loves animals. If this upcoming year, instead of going forward into "third grade curriculum", I had him do something a bit less intensive (like Oak Meadow 2 or more Blossom & Root for example), but that would only meet second grade standards likely instead of third, would that be crazy? My major concern is that I live in Ohio, and I have to prove that he's keeping up with grade level at the end of the year, but is that based off of the last grade he was in school? At 7-8 years old, he would have been a young third grader anyway and easily could still be in second grade. I'm also concerned because having worked with him 1:1 now, I can tell that the objectives he was supposedly meeting in school are not actually met and he's been able to slide by in a large class of students. I understand that homeschooling isn't subject to the same grade level labels that schools use but I'm just wondering if this would be more inadvisable because he's already been in public school second grade (although he obviously did not finish it there due to the pandemic).

When you're homeschooling, you don't "remediate a grade." You just start where the child is.

I also have a July birthday; and it wasn't until I started posting here on this forum that I learned that I was "young" for my "grade." o_0  Homeschooled children are not "young" for their "grades." They are however old they are.

You don't have to prove that he's keeping up with grade level. If you choose to do a standardized test, he has to be in the 25th percentile (and yes, *I* would use a third grade-level test). But you can also do a written narrative and a portfolio, which will be reviewed by a "qualified person;" your ds's "academic progress for the year[must be] in accordance with [his] abilities," rather than having to meet a standard. I'm sure there are homeschool-friendly "qualified persons" in your homeschool community.

So you don't have to meet any "standards." You just want to see him achieve as much as he is able to, yes? You can to that, without thinking of it as remediating or making sure he meets someone else's standards.

[Shahrazad]

To be clear, I don't think of it as remediating him, I was using the word in the sense of how the school and district would view it. He's 7, he's young, and he is sensitive and shy. Honestly, he probably started K in public school too early but circumstances at the time forced it. I do not see him as behind. I see him as 7 year old who was pushed into dry, intensive, busywork before he was ready for it. I've heard homeschoolers in my area mention that once you send your homeschool notification letter with a child, if they're under the age of requirement, you've essentially tripped a timer and the district is now concerned with whether or not your child is progressing in the way they expect. The reason I asked is not because I think it is problematic to do something that is marketed as second-grade work with a child who would go into third-grade in public school if the material is appropriate for the child, but because I want to make sure I am not missing something about doing so that would cause problems when it came to an evaluation later in the year. Would they look at his work and say, "well, he would be in third grade in public school and he was on track a year ago according to his school and now it doesn't look like he is "on track" anymore?" Would they consider his age or just assume that he needs to meet their listed third-grade standards? Or would I have some wiggle room to de-school and use my own discretion about where he is and where we should focus our efforts? This is not a kid who needed to be sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day doing worksheets and it has really ruined the way he views school (and I realize that this isn't the case for everyone, my eldest loved that stuff but he is a very different child.)

The 25% standard for testing makes sense and clarifies that. I planned to go with a narrative and portfolio this time but it was unclear to me as to which standards they would use to evaluate that and whether they, too, would be comparing him to public school progress. The fact that it is "according to [his] abilities" both clarifies the issue and takes the burden of comparison away.

[PeterPan]

5 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

My major concern is that I live in Ohio, and I have to prove that he's keeping up with grade level at the end of the year,

This is not technically correct. You have to submit test scores, portfolio review, or other agreed upon. When you notify, you do NOT legally have to declare a grade, which means they're not technically saying what grade level the standardized test has to be. I'm not saying I agree with your plan to retain, just that the law doesn't require you to specify his grade when you notify.

5 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

At 7-8 years old, he would have been a young third grader anyway and easily could still be in second grade.

I agree, red shirt a July bday if you want and have reasons. However it could also be not the right decision. 

5 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

I can tell that the objectives he was supposedly meeting in school are not actually met and he's been able to slide by in a large class of students.

Not a reason to grade retain. What is it you're seeing? 

1 hour ago, Shahrazad said:

he's young, and he is sensitive and shy.

Yeah, that's what I was wondering. I'm pairing that with "doesn't like school" and wondering what is feeding that. 

So if bringing him home allows you to address that and dig in there, it's good! If he enjoys the OM2, do it. If he'd enjoy the OM3 better, do that. Doesn't really matter for notification purposes. Don't put a grade on there, only his birth date. And you only provide the composite score on his testing. Or skip testing and do a portfolio review. My ds is all over the place, so I usually just do a portfolio review. 

Btw, I don't know if you saw this, but it's *possible* homeschoolers in Ohio will not need to submit test scores or portfolio reviews or anything this year. So if you're pulling/notifying now, it may not be an issue for this fall.

2 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

I just needed some reassurance that it is okay to slow it down to where he actually is and not overwhelm him by trying to meet him where the school claimed he was.

The school doesn't *care* if he's behind. My ds has an IEP and he's literally all over the place with stuff. He's still called by age grade for his IEP, even though there's ZERO chance that we'll graduate him at 18, lol. 

2 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

I just needed some reassurance

Yes, it is ok to meet him exactly where he is. The other thing about grade levels is that they are *social*. So he needs something to say to people who ask what his grade is, and he needs a grade level that places him appropriately socially for camps, activities, clubs, church, etc. 

Just from what you're describing, I think maybe I'd want to see how it's going and start having that conversation about a grade adjustment before actually doing that as a done deal. Teach him where he is, see what improves and what is still crunchy after a year of home instruction. If he's still behind or having red flags, you're probably going to be getting eval at that point or asking questions that you'd see someone for. Grade retention for developmental delay, yes. For SLD, no. 

If it's very clear socially he'd do better socially with a grade retention, I'd go ahead and do it. But nuts, my ds functions 2-3 years behind on most things and he's still usually fine with his peers for things. When he was younger we kept him younger. But now, he's usually with his peers. My plan is to transition my ds going into junior high, at the time when the Sunday School stuff changes from kid classes to the youth group. I've thought about doing it formally earlier, but really no one (not the IEP team, not the behaviorist, no one) thought it was the right time. So it might not be a decision you have to make now. Just teach him where he is. You'll have a whole calendar year before you need to do testing, so you can decide how to handle that then. And whatever you do, DON'T put a grade level on the notification form. Then you'll be fine. 

[kiwik]

6 hours ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

From my long-term homeschooling perspective, it is pretty hard to be behind in 2nd grade or 3rd grade. I know nothing about Ohio state law, but I have homeschooled in multiple states and proving progress usually has a very low threshold (like above the 25th%).  I would encourage you to understand your state law specifically.

I have taken my last child through 4th this yr (8th time through).  I also work with my grandkids who are in 3rd and 2nd.   Primary/lower elementary grades are about learning how to read, how to correctly form letters, and basic math skills.  Anything beyond that is icing.  My kids spend about 1 hr per grade level on focused academics, so K is about an hr, 1st is 1 to 1 1/2 hrs, 2nd is 2 to 2 1/2 hrs.  It doesn't take much concentrated effort to progress through age appropriate materials.  

All that is to say, I would probably keep him a 3rd grader next yr, work at his level, make learning interesting and enjoyable, and not stress about grade level so much as just meeting him where he is functioning.  YOu might be surprised and see that working 1-on-1 leads to rapid leaps and progression.

Sorry 8 I have always wondered with the one hour per grade.  Are the 12th graders really doing 12 hours a day?

[8filltheheart]

5 hours ago, kiwik said:

Sorry 8 I have always wondered with the one hour per grade.  Are the 12th graders really doing 12 hours a day?

No.  I normally elaborate but didn't bother in that post since the child is only in 2nd grade.  It is about an hour per grade level until middle school.  Middle school is about 6 to 8 hrs per day (so a 6th grader may be spending 8 hrs and an 8th grader may be spending 6 hrs.....it depends on the student, what they want to study, etc.)  High school is about 7 to 9 hrs per day.  That is just a generalized estimate. 

My grad student ds had times when he was spending 10+ hrs per day when he was in high school (some really long days).  He chose to take heavy loads with a crazy number of classes.  (The yr he dual enrolled at the local U for university physics, his physics lab write-up days were very time consuming. His labs were something like 10 pages typed.)  He was dual enrolling in physics and math beyond cal 2 while still taking a full high school load at home with me and graduated with 300 level credits in both (don't know if your university system is the same as ours, but 300 level courses are typically junior classes. He took some sr level classes his freshman yr of college.)

That said, weekends are 0 hrs.  My kids have never done school work on the weekend.  Our school yrs are also approx 35 weeks long.  (So definitely not yr round and designed with lots of time off.)

So 12 hrs per day?  Definitely not the norm!  The odd day?  Procrastinate on an assignment, have multiple things due at the same time......maybe the odd day.  I do try to make my kids experience deadlines for assignments so they experience that before heading out to college.

(ETA:  My 8th grader this yr gets up and starts school around 5.  Her goal is to finish all her school work by lunch. She spends around 6 1/2 to 7 hrs per day.  My 12th grader starts school around 8 and finishes around 4, around 8 hrs per day.)

Edited April 11, 2020 by 8FillTheHeart

[Ellie]

10 hours ago, Shahrazad said:

To be clear, I don't think of it as remediating him, I was using the word in the sense of how the school and district would view it. He's 7, he's young, and he is sensitive and shy. Honestly, he probably started K in public school too early but circumstances at the time forced it. I do not see him as behind. I see him as 7 year old who was pushed into dry, intensive, busywork before he was ready for it. I've heard homeschoolers in my area mention that once you send your homeschool notification letter with a child, if they're under the age of requirement, you've essentially tripped a timer and the district is now concerned with whether or not your child is progressing in the way they expect. The reason I asked is not because I think it is problematic to do something that is marketed as second-grade work with a child who would go into third-grade in public school if the material is appropriate for the child, but because I want to make sure I am not missing something about doing so that would cause problems when it came to an evaluation later in the year. Would they look at his work and say, "well, he would be in third grade in public school and he was on track a year ago according to his school and now it doesn't look like he is "on track" anymore?" Would they consider his age or just assume that he needs to meet their listed third-grade standards? Or would I have some wiggle room to de-school and use my own discretion about where he is and where we should focus our efforts? This is not a kid who needed to be sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day doing worksheets and it has really ruined the way he views school (and I realize that this isn't the case for everyone, my eldest loved that stuff but he is a very different child.)

The 25% standard for testing makes sense and clarifies that. I planned to go with a narrative and portfolio this time but it was unclear to me as to which standards they would use to evaluate that and whether they, too, would be comparing him to public school progress. The fact that it is "according to [his] abilities" both clarifies the issue and takes the burden of comparison away.

Homeschoolers say lots of things; that doesn't mean that the law actually says that. There's no timer to be tripped.

I don't believe in "red shirting." I say this as someone with a July birthday, married to someone with a September birthday who started first grade when he was five. I especially don't believe in homeschoolers red shirting. Homeschoolers always say that grade level doesn't matter, and yet so many jump on the red shirt bandwagon. Were I in your position, I would refer to this child as being "in" "third grade" whenever it was necessary to put a grade level label on him, including choosing a standardized test; but I would teach him according to his abilities. As has been pointed out, Ohio doesn't require a grade level on the notification; it does require date of birth, and that would indicate a grade level, but you don't have to specify one.

There are required subjects and hours, but there are no required standards for homeschooled children. Why do you think there are? Also, what makes you think that the school district has the time to investigate how well a child did in public school the previous year?

You absolutely have wiggle room to de-school and use your own discretion about where he is and where you should focus your efforts, That's why you're doing the portfolio, which will be evaluated according to *his* progress. 

[PeterPan]

5 hours ago, Ellie said:

That's why you're doing the portfolio, which will be evaluated according to *his* progress. 

Again, technically the portfolio reviewer only states that he is performing "at ability level" not even whether he made progress. Seriously. So my ds could make little progress but be performing at ability level. 

5 hours ago, Ellie said:

I would refer to this child as being "in" "third grade" whenever it was necessary to put a grade level label on him, including choosing a standardized test; but I would teach him according to his abilities.

Yes, if he fits in with his peers for activities by age grade (3rd), then it's fine to do that, teach him where he's at, and do the standardized testing that matches where he's being taught at. But remember, it's not an issue for fall 2020. No standardized testing required for 2020 and the assumption is no portfolio reviews either. So this is literally an issue she can punt an entire year on.

Anecdotes are less help on red shirting. You'll find just as many people say they wished they had had another year. I wanted my dd to stay another year to bake and she really wanted to go. She went, but after a year she came back and was like OH THAT'S WHY. So sometimes it works to give them the extra year and sometimes it doesn't. But there's no reason that decision has to be made exactly *now*.

Edited April 11, 2020 by PeterPan

[Ellie]

7 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Anecdotes are less help on red shirting. You'll find just as many people say they wished they had had another year. I wanted my dd to stay another year to bake and she really wanted to go. She went, but after a year she came back and was like OH THAT'S WHY. So sometimes it works to give them the extra year and sometimes it doesn't. But there's no reason that decision has to be made exactly *now*.

Homeschoolers always say that "grade level" isn't important, and yet they consistently refer to their children by their grade levels and not their ages.

When we play with the schools, we must play by their rules, and they have grade levels based on children's dates of birth and a cut-off date to begin school. Standardized tests are normed according to grade levels; school textbook publishers write their materials according to what is appropriate for children in each grade, who are expected to be within an age range, i.e., they assume that this third grade book will be used by children who are mostly eight years old. As homeschoolers, we teach our children what they need, when they need it, in the manner they are best able to receive it; but when we have to interact with schools and things designed for schools, even such things as grade levels to play sports, we should be playing by their rules.

And we ask for anecdotes all the time here, and base our own decisions on them, so we can't dismiss them when it comes to "red shirting."

[8filltheheart]

4 hours ago, Ellie said:

Homeschoolers always say that "grade level" isn't important, and yet they consistently refer to their children by their grade levels and not their ages.

When we play with the schools, we must play by their rules, and they have grade levels based on children's dates of birth and a cut-off date to begin school. Standardized tests are normed according to grade levels; school textbook publishers write their materials according to what is appropriate for children in each grade, who are expected to be within an age range, i.e., they assume that this third grade book will be used by children who are mostly eight years old. As homeschoolers, we teach our children what they need, when they need it, in the manner they are best able to receive it; but when we have to interact with schools and things designed for schools, even such things as grade levels to play sports, we should be playing by their rules.

And we ask for anecdotes all the time here, and base our own decisions on them, so we can't dismiss them when it comes to "red shirting."

 Based on your own description of playing by "school's rules," many schools recommend holding children back a yr for a variety of reasons. (My siblings have encountered it with their kids and grandkids based on immaturity, lack of readiness skills, and even size.)

Some children benefit by being held back. I have held back 2 of my 8 kids. I am definitely glad I did and didn't listen to someone else's rigid thinking.  One was born with a congenital heart defect. We made the decision based on health issues. (Absolutely the right call.) The other matured mentally at the later end of normal. She didnt learn her colors until age 4. She couldn't rhyme. She had difficulty sequencing patterns. We played an extra yr focused on readiness skills. She is dyslexic and the extra yr has given her the gift of managing to function on grade level vs. struggling to keep up. 

Both of these children are older, so the outcomes are not hypothetical elementary kids at the beginning of their journey. Being very slightly older than a few of their peers (lots of variance of age within a grade level) has never been a problem for them. But the gift of time has been a great blessing. 

[PeterPan]

13 hours ago, 8FillTheHeart said:

Based on your own description of playing by "school's rules," many schools recommend holding children back a yr for a variety of reasons.

Fwiw, my experience in our ps district is that they avoid holding back/retaining, even when it's OBVIOUS the dc needs an extra year or more of bloom time. There must be a lot of pressure to keep them pushed through the system, sigh. So I know people whose dc were retained in a private school/cs, yes. But in the ps, with my ds' IEP and more issues than you can shake a stick at, every time I bring up grade retention they're like oh no he's fine, move him forward, we adjust instruction through the IEP, he's fine. 

So while grade retention is really controversial or not even wise in some cases, I think for some kids the system is too slow to do it. I think we just have to look at it individually.

[Shahrazad]

On 4/11/2020 at 2:01 AM, PeterPan said:

This is not technically correct. You have to submit test scores, portfolio review, or other agreed upon. When you notify, you do NOT legally have to declare a grade, which means they're not technically saying what grade level the standardized test has to be. I'm not saying I agree with your plan to retain, just that the law doesn't require you to specify his grade when you notify.

I agree, red shirt a July bday if you want and have reasons. However it could also be not the right decision. 

Not a reason to grade retain. What is it you're seeing? 

Yeah, that's what I was wondering. I'm pairing that with "doesn't like school" and wondering what is feeding that. 

So if bringing him home allows you to address that and dig in there, it's good! If he enjoys the OM2, do it. If he'd enjoy the OM3 better, do that. Doesn't really matter for notification purposes. Don't put a grade on there, only his birth date. And you only provide the composite score on his testing. Or skip testing and do a portfolio review. My ds is all over the place, so I usually just do a portfolio review. 

Btw, I don't know if you saw this, but it's *possible* homeschoolers in Ohio will not need to submit test scores or portfolio reviews or anything this year. So if you're pulling/notifying now, it may not be an issue for this fall.

The school doesn't *care* if he's behind. My ds has an IEP and he's literally all over the place with stuff. He's still called by age grade for his IEP, even though there's ZERO chance that we'll graduate him at 18, lol. 

Yes, it is ok to meet him exactly where he is. The other thing about grade levels is that they are *social*. So he needs something to say to people who ask what his grade is, and he needs a grade level that places him appropriately socially for camps, activities, clubs, church, etc. 

Just from what you're describing, I think maybe I'd want to see how it's going and start having that conversation about a grade adjustment before actually doing that as a done deal. Teach him where he is, see what improves and what is still crunchy after a year of home instruction. If he's still behind or having red flags, you're probably going to be getting eval at that point or asking questions that you'd see someone for. Grade retention for developmental delay, yes. For SLD, no. 

If it's very clear socially he'd do better socially with a grade retention, I'd go ahead and do it. But nuts, my ds functions 2-3 years behind on most things and he's still usually fine with his peers for things. When he was younger we kept him younger. But now, he's usually with his peers. My plan is to transition my ds going into junior high, at the time when the Sunday School stuff changes from kid classes to the youth group. I've thought about doing it formally earlier, but really no one (not the IEP team, not the behaviorist, no one) thought it was the right time. So it might not be a decision you have to make now. Just teach him where he is. You'll have a whole calendar year before you need to do testing, so you can decide how to handle that then. And whatever you do, DON'T put a grade level on the notification form. Then you'll be fine. 

 

Thank you, this was extremely helpful and reassuring. I've tried to figure out why he hates school so much for two years now and my conclusion is partially that b&m public school just isn't the right fit for him or his learning style (he is the kid who would answer the first page of questions correctly, then start drawing pictures all over the standardized test and not finish, and thus test as though he was "behind") and then partially that he had to deal with a lot of emotionally difficult stuff in the last several years that were peaking at the time he entered school as a young K'er. Short version: I divorced and left an abusive marriage (father is still in the picture and involved and still very much a part of their life so that is good at least but I do think the toxicity of the living situation prior affected them more than I thought it did in the thick of it), I left my religion (Islam), stopped covering, stopped any practice. I went from being a SAHM for their whole lives to working full-time plus overtime to support us and was in nursing school full-time (that is all done now but it was 0 to 100 at the time). Their father remarried someone from Jordan 1 month after our divorce finalized. So, a lot going on in that time period and being forced into school when he probably wasn't emotionally ready for it has not been the best for him. He is doing better now, with time, and I feel like he is not resistant to school when I am teaching him at home but he very much needs a gentler approach and I've had to fight my instinct to be more academic and think that I shouldn't have him "lag" behind what he would be doing if he was in school. He has always been a very sensitive kid who is easily affected by the things going on around him. Once the pandemic is on the down slope, I do have plans to have him evaluated though.

[PeterPan]

11 minutes ago, Shahrazad said:

He has always been a very sensitive kid

And it sounds like you have been through a lot of tough, hard things!! I'm blown away, jaw dropping here. If you were near me, we'd get together and hang. Well after the virus. We could virtually hang now. 

Well that's awesome that you're on a path to making evals happen. I don't know what they'll turn up, but I think you're doing the right thing. It's always easier to make decisions with good information, complete information. 

So I'll just throw this out there, but does he need trauma counseling? I went back as an adult and get trauma counseling for my childhood experiences. It wasn't something I was looking for, but it just sorta happened back door. (in for another reason and the counselor was like hello, you need to talk with me)

So as far as priorities, I think emotional health is where it starts. Hopefully you'll be getting evals by fall. Maybe he gets some counseling. With my ds it seems like there's only so much brain energy, so it's not like pile pile pile it on, kwim? It doesn't let them focus. So if the focus in mental health and self-advocacy, then let that be the focus and all your academics work toward that. Simply by working consistently, possibly year round, most general academic problems and behind ness will resolve. Truly I would not worry about that. It's ok to focus on basics. And self-advocacy, mental health, narrative language, being able to say what happened or how you feel, these are a BIG DEAL. Especially if he's so sensitive. 

You know, you might go over to Chat and just start a thread on sensitive kids. Or google search the boards and find old threads, because I know we've had them. But maybe a thread on sensitive kids and see what has worked well for them. Parenting strategies, academics, how they deal with siblings, I don't know. None of my kids have been emotionally sensitive like that, so I have zilch to contribute on it. But I think you'll get responses and it may be a good way to fill your soul.

I'm glad your life is going better after some really hard times. Those sound like astonishing things you had to do to get to a place of peace and safety. 

Edited April 12, 2020 by PeterPan

[prairiewindmomma]

I withdrew my girls from public school in February. They had been in for two years. For my youngest, that was all she had known as I had also sent her out for preschool. I see some significant gaps in both of their educations. While my kids were considered on level or ahead for their local elementary school, they are not where they would have been had they been homeschooled.  

I am spending this spring filling in some gaps in various areas, but my plan is to keep them at grade level and just meet them where they are at in terms of math. I am documenting where they are now, and I expect next year's testing to show growth.  If that growth isn't there next year, then I think that just shows the necessity of evaluations.  IMO, as long as you are documenting and actively working with your kid, there's no problem.  These baseline regulations are to protect the kids who are being neglected. 

FWIW, my youngest has bumped through an entire grade level since I brought her home.  It's clear she had mentally checked out, and is thriving now.  Older dd isn't going to make that leap, but she has figured some things out she should've figured out a year and a half ago.  She should be back up to level within 6 months or so.