hippiemamato3 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Ugh. My DD is 10 and in 7th grade in a charter school. Suddenly she is kind of obsessed with her looks and it's really bothering me. I am a low maintenance person - clothing, looks, etc are not that important to me. My DD is quite beautiful but it's getting to be a bit much. Any suggestions? She is not snobby or unkind - she's an amazing kid. But the constant looking in the mirror and talking about her clothes and hair and skin is bugging me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Ten is very young for 7th grade. Is it possible that her age is making her feel increasingly self conscious at an already incredibly self conscious period of life? I think this is pretty normal. I get that it's aggravating, but I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can really do. It's pretty developmental. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 I agree, this is just natural for some girls. I would just let it play out. Looks are important to one of my girls, so I am supportive of that, including enabling her to experiment at home and occasionally when she goes out. When she was in 7th, for her 12th birthday, I bought her a subscription to Birchbox so she could learn and try new things. This despite the fact that I personally wouldn't touch make-up with a 10 foot pole, LOL. Rather than try to stifle this interest, I would listen to her talk and see if this is an obsession or just an interest/hobby. Does she seem to feel like she needs to do xyz to please her peers, or does she just want to do it because she enjoys it? Does she still have other interests such as books, sports, a favorite pop band? Does she respect others' choices to focus on other things to the exclusion of primping? Is she maintaining general good health? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Whenever my kids are becoming too obsessed/overly interested in one thing I find the best way to handle it is to get them interested in something else as well. Don't squash the one interest, just cultivate another one. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 We also try to look for opportunities to serve our community—looking beyond yourself is a good way to find balance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 My 10 year old is in 5th. Feeling more self-conscious is normal and definitely a huge part of dd’s peers’ lives also. We have started doing our nails and clay masks together. Not my jam, but a bonding moment and I want to be involved in the things that are of interest to dd also, iykwim. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted September 2, 2019 Author Share Posted September 2, 2019 30 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: We also try to look for opportunities to serve our community—looking beyond yourself is a good way to find balance. She does a ton of volunteer work! I think it's probably just a normal phase...and I need to just hold on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted September 2, 2019 Author Share Posted September 2, 2019 29 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said: My 10 year old is in 5th. Feeling more self-conscious is normal and definitely a huge part of dd’s peers’ lives also. We have started doing our nails and clay masks together. Not my jam, but a bonding moment and I want to be involved in the things that are of interest to dd also, iykwim. I agree - we got a pedicure together a couple of weeks ago and while the nail painting isn't my thing, the leg rub definitely was!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted September 2, 2019 Author Share Posted September 2, 2019 2 hours ago, Terabith said: Ten is very young for 7th grade. Is it possible that her age is making her feel increasingly self conscious at an already incredibly self conscious period of life? I think this is pretty normal. I get that it's aggravating, but I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can really do. It's pretty developmental. I think the age is part of it (and her peer group too.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 5 hours ago, hippiemamato3 said: She is not snobby or unkind - she's an amazing kid. Then let it go. She is her own person. This may be a stage for her, but she also may be a person who is always more interested in her looks, makeup, and fashion than you are. That's okay. Lots of awesome people care a lot about their looks. Try to avoid thinking of it in terms of low vs high maintenance. It's not good vs bad, it's just your style vs her style. "High maintenance" is such a loaded phrase, I really detest it. How often do you hear a teen boy called high maintenance, no matter how much care he takes with his clothes or his looks? Fashion for boys is no more coincidental than it is for girls - those button ups aren't untucked by accident, and their 'careless' hair takes just as much time to style! And grown men are no different. I mean, the beard maintenance alone 😂 Again, yes, it's typical for the age group, but she may also have an enduring interest in it that you don't share. Sometimes our kids surprise us with how different they can be, but it just keeps life interesting! 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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