We got our results and diagnosis - would love curriculum recs

[Runningmom80]

11 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

I would take out a loan if you have to to make this happen. That is HUGE. 

So then you bring her in every day this summer, maybe even twice a day. Tutors will have opinions on that and say oh no, not more than 1. But fine, 1-2 hours a day, every single day, banging it out. And while she's doing that, you go get the Wilson training, yes. And then in the fall you take over, definitely.

I'm missing the price per hour. Twice a week is not enough, not when you have a highly skilled person, an incredibly bright dc, and are behind. She should be doing 3-4 hours OR MORE. It's not completely more is more better, but more is better. So she would be $3-4k for the summer. I would do that. I get that it's a pinch, but I would do that because it's cheaper than enrolling in a dyslexia school, is positive, is convenient, is a definite thing she can get done.

Make the rest of her life really good. Like do nothing else as far as academics or sucky stuff and make her life the rest of the day AWESOME. Like horse riding or swim lessons or something, kwim? Cuz it might be a sucky hard, tiring thing, doing that intervention. It's why that psych was so adamant that parents not do the intervention, because unless you're an oblivious soul like me you're probably going to notice how hard it is. I would limit taking off too. I would just tell her this is gonna suck, we're gonna work hard, you'll be glad.

The reason the $3-4k on the tutor will be better than Barton is because it will be custom. But could you do it? In theory you can. I can tell you what's going to happen though. You won't need all the levels of Barton. You'd get through levels 1-2 really quickly, dig in for 3, and slog for 4. You could do all that maybe in a year if you work at a good clip. And by good clip that could mean 1-2 hours a day, maybe more. That's a whole school year. And then you'll get through 4 and be like this is boring, this doesn't fit, I don't want to be doing this, and you'll jump. Many people jump Barton after 4. The reading kicks in, it transfers more toward spelling, and they're like let me out of the chinese water torture... 

So the Wilson tutor is covering your butt on keeping it interesting and giving you time to get into the deep so you can meet her where she is. You can go either way, yes. You could make arguments either way. But if your dh is willing to pay, *I* would have him pay. And I would want 4 hours a week at least and not agree if he won't fund it at that.

Tell her she's so brilliant it takes extra tests for them to understand her! 

That's what I do. I show ds people with dyslexia online and I'm like here's someone who's brilliant, here's someone who's brilliant, and oh btw they have a hard time reading too. And then I take him to meet an adult with autism and I'm like here's someone who's brilliant, and Einstein had hair like yours too. 

 

Ok you’ve convinced me. She has other students so I’m not sure she can do 4 days a week but I think she could do 3. It’s $70 an hour, which seems reasonable.

[PeterPan]

Push. And ask for homework.

I'm sure you'll do this, but keep calling around. This training is common enough, you can get more names, more options.

Edited April 25, 2019 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

When I want a service, I try to show how serious I am. That way, when she has options, she goes no put this girl up to 4. Think about it. She can spread herself between lots of people or do more hours with less kids. She is making choices like that. So you go in and you say no, I really want 4, she's behind, she's super bright, she wants this and will focus and work hard... 

Or maybe you don't and you're sort of like we're on the mental health plan, let's do 2-3 a week, this is fine, we'll get there as long as we keep plowing... That's legit too! It's just what you want. My style is sort of stupid intense, but I think roll with your gut with what makes her life the way it will be healthy for her.

[Lecka]

What could your schedule be this summer with her if you didn’t do tutoring?  Could you do much more than 2 hours a week?  

Is that a realistic amount, and cheaper than childcare for your other kids?

For one summer when we did a lot for us — we had an 80 minute block in the morning that was very solid, while my little kids watched 4 episodes of Dora or Diego.  We could have an uninterrupted time and be able to get done and go swimming in the afternoon (public pool opening at 1:00 for us).  

I have had in-home therapy and ime either my other kids need to be very, very occupied, or the therapist needs to desire or be open to having some games that include siblings.  Games that include siblings can be great if it isn’t going to be too obvious that it is easy for the siblings.  

I think, think about how much time would be “too much.”  80 minutes in retrospect was maybe too much.  If you are definitely homeschooling I think there is a lot less pressure to “take advantage of summer” and more freedom to slowly ramp up.  

I think there is a lot to be said for starting with less time and let the tutor work out any kinks, and then you transfer over with kinks worked out and you can gradually increase time if you want to.  

It is really important that your daughter like the tutor.  It really goes a long way.  

I think it does sound good.  

I would say though, are you pretty sure there will be no other therapy that might cost money?  You are expecting her not to need OT?  

I also — maybe this is just us — but it can be hard with home, that siblings can be like “oh what special thing is this?  I want in on it.”  And then you can’t really be like “oh it’s this reading thing” because that doesn’t send a good message to the child getting therapy.  It needs to seem special or desirable to that child.

And then for your other kids — if you do need/want to watch the tutor, here I would realistically be setting siblings up with a movie, but it would need to be a movie the kid getting tutoring would not care about.  Or if they get such-and-such time where I know I won’t get interrupted, then the child in therapy can’t be going “why don’t I have such-and-such time right now.”  

It all works out but think about your plans, and be ready to have some special things for the siblings, too.  

Unless your kids would not be jealous or interrupt you, and then — no concerns there!

[Lecka]

I was on the more intense track during the summer, but knowing during the school year I could only get in 20 minutes (for sure) after school on weekdays.  That makes a big difference compared to getting unlimited time with homeschooling.  

Edited April 25, 2019 by Lecka

[Lecka]

I think too I would only “count” time spent really working with intervention of some kind, but then in other times in the day there still would be read-alouds, and that is so beneficial, and it DOES count, even though it’s not working on intervention.  

[Lecka]

Actually I think my kids are old enough now that we wouldn’t have any problems.  If your other kids are little kids then it might not be that easy to be in with the tutor, BUT they can be great for playing games.  

[Lecka]

I also, at the time, thought I had to make “catch-up progress” “by age 7.”  

I do not think I was interpreting that idea properly.  I thought it was something you had to to and then there wouldn’t be any more issues whatsoever.

Now I think it means more “don’t put it off because you think it might be better to wait.”  

[Runningmom80]

My other kids are 8 (her twin) and 12. They won't be an issue at all. Everyone understands that sister's brain works differently than theirs. (We talk about this with my oldest too) We talk a lot about neurodiversity (not in so many words) I really don't think they would be a problem. They can also keep themselves busy for an hour. If I had little kids I could see how it would be a problem. That's actually how my twins ended up in Montessori school for 3 years. 😂

I'm 99.9% sure we are homeschooling next year. I just don't see her thriving in the public school. They aren't going to remediate her, the tutor I talked to was like, "yeah, no, she's probably not getting any services from school."  Anyways, yes we will have lots of time during the school year to work on this stuff, and also nurture her strengths.

 

[Storygirl]

I think the tutor is an awesome idea. If she is able to do more than twice a week, I would jump on that, since the tutor is not available during the school year. If she can only do twice a week, I would still do it but would ask her for homework for the days off.

When my kids have had tutoring in my home, I let the tutor work in the dining room, and I took the other kids down to our basement and did some summer school work with them. So everyone was working on academics at the same time. If you plan to watch the tutoring sessions, that won't work for you, but I'm sure you will figure it out.

Did you ask if you can observe the tutoring? Sometimes it can change the dynamic, and tutors don't want parents to watch. If you can't watch, perhaps you can listen in from the next room. I would request for the tutor to reserve the last five minutes of the time to confer with you daily, so that you can be briefed on what they worked on and see what homework you should do.

I'm glad you figured out a plan! That reminds me that I need to check with DD's tutor to see if she is available this summer.

[PeterPan]

We had a point where ds wouldn't focus as well on the therapist if I was in the room, and at that point we switched to having me around the corner, in earshot. I could still hear everything going on to stay in the loop and know what to work on, but it wasn't distracting from his attention to the task and his compliance. Because the therapy was HARD, he had to be completely focused on the therapist, without any options for outs. I would suggest that you set up a workspace for her where she will have minimal distractions while she works with her tutor and be within earshot, though not directly present. It will keep you in the loop and be informative while allowing them to keep a really up-pace session. You'll also want your other kids completely removed so she can focus. It will be something to think through, because for that one hour they need complete focus.

Yes, I would anticipate she'll talk with you to wrap up the sessions each day.

If you are able to work it out with the tutor and are within earshot while they work, this is going to turn out to be immensely valuable training for you.

 

[Lecka]

I think it could go either way.  The tutor can also demonstrate things if being right there is not working out.  But it could work out, too.  

[Runningmom80]

I’m confident that an hour of uninterrupted Minecraft is plenty to keep her brothers out of the way. 🙂

[Runningmom80]

Also my house is set up where I could be in ear shot with out being in the same room. She should be fine working with me in there but I understand how it could become a problem. (Or maybe the tutor prefers the parents to not hover/sit in on the session.)

Edited April 26, 2019 by Runningmom80