Scouts question - how is your Troop run?

[saw]

Just trying to get some perspective here and have a bit of a vent... how does your Troop run? DS and I just got back from a two-night campout that was not fun at all. About half of the campouts are fun, the rest miserable. Our SM likes to say the Troop is boy-led, but actually is a bit of a micro-manager. DS tried to do camping cooking for the cooking merit badge this weekend at a campout. SM assigned himself to DS's cooking group (DS was the only one from his patrol there, so he couldn't cook for his patrol). SM said that DS could cook for himself, the SM and another adult to meet the requirements (technically, he's wrong, but when I questioned him I was told off). DS got up at 6.30, started a fire (I was there to take instructions from him if he wanted my help) and added charcoal to do foilpack breakfast. SM wakes up an hour later, comes over, criticizes DS's fire, tell him to do this, then do that, then this, etc. DS is getting nervous and stressy. At lunch, SM comes over and tells DS to use oil, not butter, for the eggs, tells DS that the hole in the bread isn't big enough to crack the egg into, etc etc etc. SM offers to be sous-chef, DS says he's fine on his own, and SM is visibly put out. DS puts together a snack, dutch oven dessert (asked an ASM for help but SM kept interfering) and cooked dinner. I was there, and every step of the way, SM was making comments. BUT SM maintains that it's boy-led and that the parents should leave the boys to do their thing (especially the moms -- he's not fond of the moms being there). By the evening DS was losing it. They did a night hike (got back to the campsite at 12.30 am.) and DS was terribly upset the whole time (also two Scouts were pretty unpleasant to him, which didn't help).  

Anyway, so that's part vent, but also -- how are your Troops run? Do advancement coordinators (I'm one) have any say? Is the SM firmly in control of everything that happens? Basically, I cannot imagine that this is normal, but hey I was never a Scout so what do I know? Older Scouts almost never come on campouts or, for that matter, show up at Troop events, which I think is a result of this treatment. This is the only Troop around ... 

[saw]

Cooking MBC wasn't, but ime the SM would overrule the MBC. We do have Committee Meetings, which I attend, but there's a lot of talk with no change. At the last one we discussed survey results, which showed those involved wanted more boy-led activities with less top-down management, but the SM's response was effectively to refuse to acknowledge an issue. At least DS has his 20 camping nights now. 

[City Mouse]

I am sorry that your DS is having such a difficult time. My DS was almost quit Scouts because of his scout master and how the troop was run. It is so hard in rural and small towns where there is only one troop. 

 

[SKL]

Not in boy scouts, but in my experience with AHG, it depends on the individual.  Some of them just make sure the basic requirements are met, others want it to be done a certain way and will make kids take way longer to get a badge.

To be honest, while I like the lady involved, it is one reason we are almost certain to drop out of scouts.  Because we don't have time to do every badge requirement to the level of detail and perfection she requires.  Maybe she is right and scouts just aren't for us.  I don't know.

As for the frustration level, to be honest, I think it's good experience to have to deal with someone who makes things challenging (even with criticism).  Either it can make the child stronger / better, or it can signal that maybe this is not the activity for him (or both).

[mom2scouts]

SM needs to back off! There WILL be mistakes and that's where a lot of learning happens. My dh is a SM and as long as nobody is in danger, he lets them make mistakes. He sometimes tries to give gentle guidance, but mostly tries to let the Scouts handle it.  He may even be thinking, "So the patrol planned french toast AND sandwiches and you only bought one loaf of bread? I guess you'll be figuring out something else to eat or going a bit hungry, but I bet you will remember to buy more bread next time!" The idea is not to frustrate the Scouts, but to support them. They'll have enough frustration just with the challenges of the activities and their own mistakes. I'm sorry you don't have another troop as an option.

[wathe]

Scouts Canada.  We are as hands-off as possible, whilst still maintaining safety and some semblance of order (in other words, finding the line between youth-led and feral).   And at the cub age, still quite a bit of behavior management - hands-off, respecting others belongings etc. 

In practice it looks a lot like what Margaret in CO posted above.

[saw]

Thanks all! @Margaret in CO I think DS would love to join your Troop! Reading this I realise that one issues the Scouts in our Troop have is not knowing when the SM is going to step in and take the lead, and when they (especially SPL/ASPL/PLs) should. At the "planning" meeting, DS, for example, tried to remind the group of the cooking/camping mb requirements. The SM just ignored him. I would have said, hey Scouts, these are the requirements, figure out how to ensure that you meet them. SM just assigned groups according to his (incorrect) interpretation of the requirements. At the campout I saw our SPL doing a great job of going over the required safety guidelines with the Scouts at one activity, only to have the SM suddenly appear out of nowhere, ignore SPL's efforts and do the safety talk himself. As a result, the Scouts often just wait to be told what to do. Sometimes though the SM thinks they should be taking action and tells them off for not taking action. Sometimes the Scouts take initiative and are then shut down. 

I'd like to let DS go to campouts by himself, but I really don't think it's safe. There are often no older Scouts along (so oldest Scout at most campouts is often just turned 13) and those older Scouts who do show up refuse to help or to lead (as in, literally refuse to help -- DS asked the oldest Scout at the campout for help and the Scout refused because he was too busy messing around). There's also a boy or two who have issues, that I happen to know about, and there's no way on this planet I'm letting DS alone in a group with a kid with this history of dangerous actions, especially because this kid likes to pick on DS and stir up trouble (eg telling another Scout that DS was messing with the Scout's tent, so the other Scout comes tattling to me to discipline DS, when DS was nowhere close to the tent. Also making fun of DS for not knowing things like "that's what she said" etc). I did of course tell the Scout not to run to me but to sort it out directly with DS. I know there's at least one other family that has a parent present at all campouts, so I think I'm not alone in my concerns. 

Actually, reading this and the replies makes me realise that there's quite a lot going wrong in the Troop. Fortunately there's only one campout before the end of the year, and we know we have a conflict so cannot go. 

[hshibley]

My son’s troop is similar to what Margaret describes. SM asking questions to help move things along in the right direction etc. 

My son is pl and just cooked for his patrol at their last camp out. My only involvement was taking him grocery shopping before the trip. He worked out the budget and menu before hand. My only input was occasionally while shopping- do you think that’s enough spaghetti think about how much you eat and how many boys you’re cooking for etc. and to be honest if they’re short food or whatever that’s a one time life lesson. 

Can your husband camp with the troop instead of you? Sometimes as the mom I think it’s best not to know the nitty gritty of what goes on with a group of middle school boys 😂.

Edited March 11, 2019 by hshibley
Grammar

[ScoutTN]

I think I'd find another troop!