ADHD vs ADHD-like behaviors

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Just looking to have a conversation I guess. Doing my best with what I’ve got.

 

This isn’t a judgement on the parents. It’s just fact. All feelings for the kids put aside and looking at “treatment†or stimulation I can do when I’m not involved daily.

 

This is about one of my extra kids. She’s now 3 (3’s are a handful! I know!).

 

From 16 months to maybe 2.5ish, this kiddo had an insane attention span! My 13yo’s behavior analyst would even comment about it, and about how this little girl could keep ds on track. She was very slow to talk, but amazingly patient and a great communicator. She followed multi step directions and was curious in a way that I was certain she was seriously high level intelligence. She picked up signs like crazy. Toilet trained a bit before 2. Could dress herself before 2. She was and is extremely picky, and was doing feeding therapy with an OT at my house for a while.

 

Now at 3, she’s talking a bit more, but not in a conversation way (I’m not expecting worm hole chats! Lol). Her question answering is more off than it once was, and her question asking is nothing more than “why?†even when “why†doesn’t really makes sense, and she doesn’t care to hear the reason anyway. While curious, she’s more destructive than constructive. You have to get eye contact before asking her to do something, and she’s lost the focus she once had. Very often she looks like she’s going to cry, so I’m very gentle with requests and repeats. She’s got some extreme separation anxiety, but was removed for 2 months at 16-18 months and that could be a root cause. After going home, she still loved to be here, but recently has been a bit harder to distract. However, she’s been sick with one virus after another since about September. She has budding asthma that’s part of why she’s not getting better, and the adults at home smoke in the house. She’s here because of being sick, so there’s a lot of attempted distraction over going home ( her parents want me to keep her a bit to get her better, but also because they have a cold and are exhausted. Lol). Me taking a sick or hyper kid (they have 5) is a regular thing. This one was here a week with coxsackie, and again when her breathing wouldn’t settle. Others I’ve had because of mood, aggression, poor school behavior, or whatever. I almost always take the baby when sick. I used to take this one every morning for a bit, and that changes recently. Could be another cause of her anxiety here. I’ll fix that.

 

I’m not seeing anything big or bad with the 3yo. I don’t see regression per say, but more like maybe she wasn’t stimulated. She’s been though and still lives in a decent amount of neglect. The kind that’s screaming neglect to those that know them, but where CPS is just shy of safety requirements to keep an open case.

 

Can I “train†her back out of the ADHD-like symptoms? (Can’t think of a good word here).

 

I do not think ADHD is poor parenting! But there’s an obvious change here. For comparison sake, my ds first had mention of future ADHD at 14 months!

 

Can neglect alone look like ADHDish in kids?

 

At the moment, I’m well aware that illness and poor sleep alone takes a toll. But it’s been a gradual “decline,†or a gradual lack of cognitive development compared to where she was and the path she seemed to be on. It’s hard to explain without putting up bigger red flags that I don’t think are actually there.

 

When I have her or anyone, it’s a consistent routine that she follows and knows. She gets a bath anytime she comes over at whatever time, and then requests teeth brushing. She knows she’ll have another bath before bed as well if she’s staying. She knows to sit at the table for meals and snacks, though lately has been trying to leave to run around (I’m going to put the booster back on the chair to fix this). She takes her nebulized meds without issue (she won’t at home). I do make her help clean up, but that’s getting really bad. She’s been having accidents consistently 1-3 times a week, and still wets the bed (she was only night wetting once a week max from like 20 months. 7 and 10yo siblings do still wet, but it confuses the 7yo). Her parents say no accidents at home, but her siblings say otherwise, including peeing on a tablet.

 

Oh, her vitamin D is low, so her doc has me dosing once a week while I’m there.

 

She sort of goes to Headstart, but has been sick too often for any consistency.

 

What else can I do here?

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

When did she start asthma Meds? They can cause adhd like symptoms big time.

[Arcadia]

Besides asthma medicine which in my case cause lots of nausea and weight loss, a sickly and bored kid is likely to be destructive if she has clamped up (not wanting to talk). My DS12 who gets bored hyper easily has similar behavior as a 2/3 years old except he talks a lot as he is a little “attention seeking†and has no separation anxiety.

My friend’s child did better on nebulizer at home than asthma medicine at preschool age. His pediatrician prescribed a loaner home nebulizer machine for him. He was very skinny as a young kid but now is doing well as a 11 years old. He was tested for adhd twice and the two different psychologist conclude that he was bored and thrive on structure. He actually does very well in a more rigid public school than in his former private school which saves his parents some dole.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

She doesn’t do maintenance meds yet. Only nebbed albuterol (sometimes inhaler with spacer, but the spacer gets lost). She’s been using it as long as I’ve known her. CPS actually placed her with me for a week to see if the safety plan care giver wasn’t following recommendations, and to see if she’d get better (she did).

 

I can see the difference in pre and post albuterol, but that’s different and normal from my experience.

[gardenmom5]

for dudeling - the lagging development of the corpus callosum (structure in the brain allowing left and right hemispheres to communicate.) had a similar appearance to add.

 

it's actually a form of capd.

we did therapy - until we reached a point he utterly refused.  (it can be hard.)

I also make sure he get's high quality/high dose fish oil becasue the CC requires essential fatty acids to develop.  the sooner the better.  (fish oil gummies are a waste of money.  they have very little in them, and they're expensive for what you get.)

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I’d love to do fish oil! But price and daily dosing is an issue.

 

Did you see very early signs of capd?

 

ETA: mine are both on fish oil. Ds’s is an ADHD 4:1 blend. Dd’s is just a gram of any ol’ fish oil.

Edited February 3, 2018 by amo_mea_filiis.

[Katy]

Going back and forth can cause it.  Neglect can cause it.  Any sort of trauma that might put her into hypervigilance mode to protect herself can cause it.

 

I'd be inclined to think it's the medications and being sick though, unless it continues for quite a while.

[Ausmumof3]

Asthma and seasonal allergies absolutely kill my oldest kids ability to think concentrate and make him seem much slower than he is. I would assume it may be this. Alternatively it could be too much screen time as this seems to cause issues for some kids.

[Ausmumof3]

She doesn’t do maintenance meds yet. Only nebbed albuterol (sometimes inhaler with spacer, but the spacer gets lost). She’s been using it as long as I’ve known her. CPS actually placed her with me for a week to see if the safety plan care giver wasn’t following recommendations, and to see if she’d get better (she did).

 

I can see the difference in pre and post albuterol, but that’s different and normal from my experience.

The unmediated asthma could also be causing focus issues too.

[Ottakee]

Sounds like a lot of trauma issues.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

It’s pretty much all of it I guess.

 

She went home last night, but will come back a bit today for meds and bath. She wants to sleep over, but is a bit too emotional about it. I’ll leave it up to her to build the trust stronger.

 

I’m probably going to ask to start her on regular meds fairly soon. Or if nothing obvious in the spring and summer, I’ll ask at her school physical in August. The problem with that though is that meds aren’t given properly, if at all, at home. When they couldn’t get rid of strep, I got all the kids checked, medicated, and went over twice a day to dose them. So while I can continue to do this, it’s difficult. If it’s a pill with noticeable effects (like 7yo’s adhd meds), they’ll give it. I hesitate to consider singulair because my own have had such a bad time on it.

[Peaceseeker]

Some of the regression could be signs of an attachment disorder. Honestly if she keeps going back and forth like this there is almost no way she wouldn't have an attachment disorder! Is she seeing a therapist yet?