Carol in Cal. Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 (edited) So, great advice so far, and BTW the guy is a bunch of names I do not want to write down here. I would add one more thing. I know this will hurt. But. Butter him up. Be extremely pleasant. Don't let your face get mad or your voice sound irritated. Think, I am projecting calm pleasantness toward a toddler. Compliment what you honestly can (his reputation? Something that he did right?), remembering that he will use this against you if you ever go to court, so make sure it's absolutely accurate. Make him want to help you. Then hit him with ONE LIST of the stuff you want different. That way it puts boundaries on the issue--it's not just an endless blank check of misery. It's a specific, comprehensive list. When you present it, don't go into a lot of he said she said. Just say, as per our original agreement, if he argues that these are change requests. Make sure that he doesn't do anything else until these things are fixed. 'Clean as you go!' you can say, cheerfully. 'We need to fix this stuff before we move on. I'm SURE that someone of your fantastic reputation can make these things right really, really quickly.' Meet with him with your husband along, but don't let him triangulate you. Talk about how to do this with your husband in advance. Seriously, this works. If you want the guy to ever fix his errors this is the way to do it. Then as soon as he does, inspect the heck out of everything and fire his ass. Oh, and, you ARE going over there almost every day to look things over, right? That's crucial. They miss stuff, and it's easier to correct it the earlier you see it. Edited September 17, 2017 by Carol in Cal. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 More hugs :grouphug: and something for you to laugh about... over the summer we had both bathrooms redone. They are back-to-back, mirror image of each other, and the plumbing for both sinks, toilets, and tubs were tied together, so it made sense to do both. We had some serious issues, such as water leakage/damage, broken semi-functional fixtures, and falling-apart tub surrounds, so not just a cosmetic remodel. Anyway, we picked out the basic stuff: tub or shower, color of fixtures... but little details such as exact placement of the shelves in the shower? Or the precise height of the grab bar? Or the placement of the shower curtain rod? He kept asking me about those, and honestly, I had NO IDEA. Like where should the grab bar be? He kept saying it was up to me and I had no clue. I kept trying to ask where do most people place it? DH & I are average height, so no need for anything unusual. I shoulda called your guy :rolleyes: I hope this gets straightened out and you get the kitchen you want. Haha! Maybe most people prefer to make fewer decisions. I dunno, I like to be hands on. More than one person I've dealt with was surprised by my level of immersion but I'm a homeschooling mom and I have Google :lol: 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 (edited) So, great advice so far, and BTW the guy is a bunch of names I do not want to write down here. I would add one more thing. I know this will hurt. But. Butter him up. Be extremely pleasant. Don't let your face get mad or your voice sound irritated. Think, I am projecting calm pleasantness toward a toddler. Compliment what you honestly can (his reputation? Something that he did right?), remembering that he will use this against you if you ever go to court, so make sure it's absolutely accurate. Then hit him with ONE LIST of the stuff you want different. That way it puts boundaries on the issue--it's not just an endless blank check of misery. It's a specific, comprehensive list. Meet with him with your husband along, but don't let him triangulate you. Talk about how to do this with your husband in advance. Seriously, this works. If you want the guy to ever fix his errors this is the way to do it. Then as soon as he does, inspect the heck out of everything and fire his ass. Oh, and, you ARE going over there almost every day to look things over, right? That's crucial. They miss stuff, and it's easier to correct it the earlier you see it. My general contractor is great. He and I have a good working relationship. And yeah, I'm checking in every day. As far as the cabinet guy, your advice is sound. I didn't let his snappishness get a rise out of me. I was pleasant and polite but firm in my opinions. I complimented him when his ideas were good, but I asserted myself when he gave me pushback or changes things without clearing them with me. Unfortunately the list idea never worked because we'd go through the list and when he'd send me the updated drawingings he'd take it upon himself to add and subtract things. Then I'd have to set up another meeting. It was just me because my husband works out of state. I'm done with him though, thank goodness. I'm out. ETA The emails I sent were sharper than usual because I was just so blown away that he'd sneak that past me at the last minute. Edited September 17, 2017 by Barb_ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 I have never seen mouldings instead of kickplates - they are cute except the bit he stuffed up. Thanks! I kept the kickplates by in the main workspaces where you can't see them because the baseboards might be annoying there. I really like the look 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 (edited) Does he have a Yelp page? If not, you can make him one. And, you know, let the world know what you think of his sexist, jerky, prima donna deal. More immediately, I think you need to talk to the GC. Pitch a fit. Or make your dh deal with him. He's clearly one of those men who only respect men. No but our Next Door neighborhood page has 24 local neighborhoods on it. That could potentially reach as many people. Thanks for the idea. Edited September 17, 2017 by Barb_ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 No but our Next Door neighborhood page has 24 local neighborhoods on it. Bwa ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Bwa ha ha :Evil grin: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 OK, but by 'check in' do you mean talk to him? Or physically go over there? Because I meant 'physically go over there.' Everyone I know, literally EVERYONE, who has been happy with the results when they built a house has physically visited, usually daily or almost daily, once it was framed in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 OK, but by 'check in' do you mean talk to him? Or physically go over there? Because I meant 'physically go over there.' Everyone I know, literally EVERYONE, who has been happy with the results when they built a house has physically visited, usually daily or almost daily, once it was framed in. Physically go aver there. I am fortunate to have found a house to rent a block away from the rebuild. I'm on a first name basis with all of the carpenters, the painters, and the project manager :D 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 (edited) Haha! Maybe most people prefer to make fewer decisions. I dunno, I like to be hands on. More than one person I've dealt with was surprised by my level of immersion but I'm a homeschooling mom and I have Google :lol: Behold the power of a homeschooling mom with Google for she will rule the world! :hurray: Edited September 17, 2017 by Catwoman 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 I met with the General Contractor on Tuesday and I'm happy to say he's stepping in to handle things from here. I guess I'd forgotten he should be doing that. This project has been going on for over a year now and I've been closely involved due to the proximity of the rental house. My husband works out of state and is only on site once a month. So I forget I can just step back and say, "you handle it!" C. agreed that the cabinet guy's behavior was out of line. He said he knows this guy is rigid and regrets putting us together on the protect because he has another guy who is more laid back and just as good but tends to be a little more fluid on timing. He was afraid he'd put the project behind. So he got me a door sample with a satin finish (yay!) and has promised to get the baseboard fixed. The cabinmaker said, "I'll go over there and talk to her and straighten it out..." and C said, "no! There is no way I'm going to let the two of you get anywhere near each other" Lol Anyway, thanks for being there, guys. I hope he's able to get it all fixed and it ends here.I could tell by his manner he felt bad that it had gotten this far. But I've bookmarked the thread for later just in case I need all the good legal-related advice 42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I'm so glad your general contractor stepped up to the plate and is taking care of things for you. You must be so relieved to not have to deal with that idiot cabinetmaker any more! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 No but our Next Door neighborhood page has 24 local neighborhoods on it. That could potentially reach as many people. Thanks for the idea. You could also give him a bad review through BBB. Many people check there before hiring contractors. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I met with the General Contractor on Tuesday and I'm happy to say he's stepping in to handle things from here. Good job! I'm glad he was responsive! A friend of mine just had someone come give her a bid on a basement makeover. The guy was really trying to tell her what she wanted instead of listening, and kept challenging why she wanted certain things, etc. I mentioned your story and told her don't go down that road! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 I'm glad your general is stepping up to the plate and handling it. You could also give him a bad review through BBB. Many people check there before hiring contractors. since he's still working on her kitchen - wait until it's all done. and yelp, and any other review site that is popular in her area. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 20, 2017 Author Share Posted September 20, 2017 Good job! I'm glad he was responsive! A friend of mine just had someone come give her a bid on a basement makeover. The guy was really trying to tell her what she wanted instead of listening, and kept challenging why she wanted certain things, etc. I mentioned your story and told her don't go down that road! I'm happy to serve as a cautionary tale. I'd never done anything like this before and didn't recognize that as a red flag. I thought he was just confident and was trying to save me time and money. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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