DawnM Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) I wasn't really looking for advice on how to parent. I guess I gave the wrong impression. Edited July 7, 2017 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 I'm sorry. We don't allow bad language from minors, however, once Ds texted me when he thought he was texting his friend and the language was pretty awful. I played along and he kept going. Finally I texted, "I'm not sure you are texting who you think you are." He was mortified. My friends told me that is just how boys talk when they are amongst themselves. They were also very impressed that Ds could keep his language so cleaned up around adults. I let it slide because I had embarrassed him enough. I'm not implying that you are wrong to be upset or to punish him. I'm just agreeing with you that it stinks when that happens. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 how old is your son? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Loss of all internet/electronic access plus a bunch of chores for bad language and crude humor? How old is your son? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 My suspicion is that he doesn't think he did anything morally wrong because no one seemed to be hurt by it (I assume the people he was talking with were speaking the same way). Convincing him that it is morally wrong to use curse words is possible, but punishment will not do it - punishment will just convince him that the possibility of getting caught is not worth doing the crime. What are your moral arguments against cursing? Maybe some other posters who are also morally opposed to cursing can help you refine your arguments so that you can present a convincing case. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Whether or not a kid can use bad language when he's in private with his friends is sort of irrelevant. If OP is paying for the electronics subscriptions, shouldn't she be able to dictate usage? I assume we're not talking about a 16+ year old here. The written word is forever, in a way that the spoken word is not. That may be a lesson the OP is working on with her dc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Like others have said, for me it would depend on his age and on what kind of bad language/crude humour we are talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Oh, of course she *can* dictate usage. I just don't know that she can dictate that he feel bad about what he did instead of feeling bad about getting caught. Feeling bad about what he did would require that he agree with her moral imperative against cursing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) N/M Edited July 7, 2017 by DawnM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Well, does he see the language as demeaning women or gay people? Do you think he intends it that way, or does he see the words as having a different use in this context? What does he say when you talk to him about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandapanda Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 I think you need to explain him what the meaning of it is and how it can hurt others. I have heard 6 year olds swear in the streets in the school and that is just a big wtf to me. I am pretty sure in their mind its either cool or either following their friends and they find cussing other funny. So i think making him understand these things will help him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 I think you need to explain him what the meaning of it is and how it can hurt others. I have heard 6 year olds swear in the streets in the school and that is just a big wtf to me. I am pretty sure in their mind its either cool or either following their friends and they find cussing other funny. So i think making him understand these things will help him. I'm not sure you intended that juxtaposition, but I find it pretty funny. 😆 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) N/M Edited July 7, 2017 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 This made me think of the recent story about the judge sentencing the vandalizing teenagers to read and report on diverse books. “It occurred to me that the way these kids are going to learn about this stuff is if they read about it, more than anything,†Ms. Rueda [the prosecutor in the case] said. “Yes, they could walk into court and plead guilty and get put on probation and do some community service, but it wasn’t really going to bring the message home.†“I just thought maybe if they read these books, it will make an impression on them, and they will stand up for people who are being oppressed,†she added. Maybe you could think of a positive, educational "punishment" for him to complete in order to earn back his electronics. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) N/M Edited July 7, 2017 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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