Martial Arts for a 4.5 yo?

[medawyn]

I'm interested in getting DS started with martial arts, so of course I'm turning to the Hive with questions!

 

He'll be 4.5 in August.  Too young? If so, tell me when to start!

 

I don't have a particular discipline in mind.  My brother started with Karate, moved to Tae Kwon Do, and then has ended up practicing Aikido seriously since early high school.  Any recommendations for a young beginner?

 

And most importantly, what do I look for in a school/studio?  I REALLY don't want a belt factory.  

[gardenmom5]

belt factories tend to have overly large classes, and make you pay for *everything* - so LOTS of add-ons.

 

watch for how much time a teacher will spend with an individual student.

 

 

[Butter]

That's old enough, but he's going to be going for a very, very long time before he reaches first degree.  At that age, it's really playing.  Sure, they are learning stuff, but, as my kids who teach that age say, it's a bit like playing whack-a-mole.  If you look at it as a fun (but albeit a bit expensive) activity, with some exercise and maybe learning a little bit, you'll love it.

 

It's always important to make sure you and your kid mesh well with the instructor.  I've heard of (and seen) some terrible instructors and I've had (and seen) excellent ones.  Honestly, if we didn't have the instructor we have or one like him, I seriously doubt my older two kids would be working at taekwondo and preparing to open their own school and absolutely no way I'd be a black belt today.  With a little one like you have, look for adequate crowd control and ability to positively interact with little kids.  You want it to be a good experience for him.

 

Other than an instructor that you like, find out what all costs are (monthly, testing fees, equipment) and what length of contract they want you to sign before you sign up.  Try to do a free trial to really get a feel for it before committing.

[....]

Mine started at 3, so it's possible.  If I had to do over again....I would look for a place where the teachers are patient/calm with the kids and they weren't very strict.  I want the kids to learn, but I want them to enjoy class.  I would look for a place where they are doing a variety of things - like multiple weapons, etc.  Also, look for a place where they can really progress.  If they're going to outrank the teacher in a few years, I would keep looking around.

 

(And just so you know where I'm coming from, martial arts was our entire life for years and years.  Four of mine are black belts, DS14 ranked #6 in the world, DD15 ranked #2 in our state and both of them were certified instructors.  Instructors from other schools recognized my kids when they walked in somewhere.)

 

And if I had to do all over again, those are the things I would look for.

[Rebel Yell]

BabyBaby has taken martial arts for 8 of her 15 years. She also is an instructor in one of her styles.

 

4.5 would be the youngest I'd want to see... and ideally, a class no longer than 30-45 minutes, just for kids ages 4-6.

 

Styles would depend on what's available in your area. If I were starting over with a 4yo, I'd spend the summer visiting all of the gyms/dojos available, either having him try out a class, or just observing with instructors permission. Also (this is my recommendation for dancers, too) observe an older/more advanced class too. It gives good insight as to class discipline, and also how many kids stick with it through higher ranks (especially for girls in martial arts)

 

So... to avoid a belt factory, ask how advancing through belt levels works. It isn't uncommon for testing to be an additional fee, but if it is built into your financed payment plan, then I'd look elsewhere. A good answer would be, something like "When several students are ready to test, we schedule a testing day" but for a large gym, "Testing is scheduled once a month, but is only for students who are ready" would be OK. Also, how many belt levels between white and black? There are seven total in one of BabyBaby's styles. Another style has seven but with two extra added, if needed, for children under 18 since a black belt will not be awarded to anyone under 18.

 

What to look for?

For the little ones, an excellent teacher who can wrangle wiggly young children, still teach solid technique, and not neglect the students who are more focused while still reigning in the wiggly ones.

Older students who have been with the gym for years, several black or other advanced belts

Teens and adults just starting out

Organized classes, my ideal is Just a little below old-school super-strict

Everyone in proper uniforms

A variety of class times, especially for the future. If classes are only offered two days/week or limited hours then it will likely not continue to work for you or the majority of the students, meaning there will be a lot of turnover and not as much long-term commitment, or you will have to pass on other opportunities because of the limited training schedule.

[Guest]

We started ds at 4.5. My biggest piece of advice is to find a place that doesn't double as a daycare. 90% of the places around here are, as it's easy money and it excludes them from daycare regulations- they're "after school activities." But the parents aren't there. The ages are lumped into far too large of groups. One we tried put our 4 year old in with 10 year olds. We didn't return after the free lesson. It was not what we wanted at all.

 

We finally found a place that had a class for only 4-5 year olds. It was Kuk Sool Won. The instructors were very skilled with working with kids. They understood you don't expect from a 4 year old what you do out of a 12 year old. Yet they still commanded respect and our son learned a lot. They also taught a lot of general safety things that some parents forget. Like: learn your phone number, address, parents last names, call 911, what to do if someone approaches you, etc. That was a nice benefit- to have someone else stressing that to them.

 

We were very, very, happy with the instruction. What we weren't happy with was the inflexibility on contracts and billing. It's like joining a gym. Cancellation fees, nickel and dining, no flexibility st all. I had back to back knee surgeries last year and knew he (and our daughter) would be out two months. We asked if they could freeze the contract or extend it by two months- just don't charge us the two months our kids can't come. They refused. They were going to bill us even though neither could attend class over a medical thing. So we quit. And paid their cancellation fees- it was a principle thing though. My son misses it and I would love to find a new place, but so many are just glorified daycares at this age- it's been fruitless so far. But I'm very wary of another place with that type of contract again. (Most aren't like that except Kuk Sool that I've seen.)

 

ETA- our class was only 30 minutes. It was perfect length. Once a week. The "daycare" type places had hour plus classes which was just ridiculous for that age.

Edited May 17, 2017 by texasmom33

[Ausmumof3]

Ours don't start till 5. The younger kids can have more trouble paying attention. They do have mixed ages but it works ok because the higher level class runs straight after the kids class and they all help teach. The class gets split into groups.

[itsmylife]

DD started when she was 4.5 years - in the yoji class.  No sparring - the kids did not touch each other.  The classes were aimed more at teaching the fundamentals of karate, seiza, bowing before stepping on to the floor and the various kicks.  Its almost six years now and she is on her green belt, so definitely not a belt factory.  She tests once a year.

 

Safety would be my main concern.  At this age, the kids should not be sparring or doing anything that requires protective gear when learning/practicing martial arts.

[medawyn]

I knew the Hive was the place to come.

 

That's old enough, but he's going to be going for a very, very long time before he reaches first degree.  At that age, it's really playing.  Sure, they are learning stuff, but, as my kids who teach that age say, it's a bit like playing whack-a-mole.  If you look at it as a fun (but albeit a bit expensive) activity, with some exercise and maybe learning a little bit, you'll love it.

 

 

 

This is pretty much how I look at all activities at this age.  We don't do much, but what we do I look at as an opportunity for fun and hopefully a new and pleasant learning experience.  In this case, I'm hoping to start a longer term habit, but my actual expectations for making progress are about nil.  If he has fun and wants to continue, I would consider it a success.

 

BabyBaby has taken martial arts for 8 of her 15 years. She also is an instructor in one of her styles.

4.5 would be the youngest I'd want to see... and ideally, a class no longer than 30-45 minutes, just for kids ages 4-6.

Styles would depend on what's available in your area. If I were starting over with a 4yo, I'd spend the summer visiting all of the gyms/dojos available, either having him try out a class, or just observing with instructors permission. Also (this is my recommendation for dancers, too) observe an older/more advanced class too. It gives good insight as to class discipline, and also how many kids stick with it through higher ranks (especially for girls in martial arts)
 

 

Dojo! That was the word I couldn't come up with!  But thank you for all the solid advice.  I'm glad I'm asking now so I have an opportunity to do some research and hopefully find a place that we can grow into.

[heartlikealion]

I'll just tell you our experience. YMMV. We signed ds up at that age. He joined a 4-6 yr old group. It was Kung Fu. He always struggled to follow along. Some of it was issues paying attention (like he'd make silly faces at the mirror instead of looking at the instructors) but some of it I think goes deeper than that (still looking into it). They gave everyone a white belt and each month? they would earn a sticker for their belt (stickers were a word they discussed in class). At the end of the year he got a certificate and gold belt (which was a white belt with a gold stripe down the center).

 

I'd say a large number of the kids did fine in the class. Ds probably had the most trouble. So I think a lot of it is just dependent on your child. We took him back for a trial session at the beginning of this year (age 8) and he kept reversing everything the teacher did. Had he not done that, he would have fit in perfectly. We decided it wasn't in the budget and he still struggled a lot so we didn't return, but it's not out of the question forever.

 

My biggest piece of advice is do a trial session and find out of the one doing the trial will be the teacher. We felt like we got a bit of bait and switch. His trial session was done with a man we really like. But his class was taught by a teenager (she had a black belt so I think she was qualified but we just really preferred the owner).

[TABmom]

My kids' TKD instructor let's you take a couple free classes to try it out. Martial Arts had never even occurred to me, but I'm so glad we ended up there! I could not say enough good things about the instructor. He's crazy strict- but also one of the most patient and kind people ever. I am in awe of how he manages that. He is nothing short of amazing! Anyway, ask around. If you find moms that gush like I do, that's where you should go!

[mathnerd]

We started Tae Kwon Do at 4.5 years old and it was the best thing that happened to my DS. He is still doing it at age 9 and plans to do it as a lifelong activity well into college and beyond. I started my son early even though he was doing a lot of other fun activities for the benefits of martial arts, both tangible and intangible - we were looking for a way to constantly teach respect, self-confidence, focus/attention/concentration skills, hand/body/eye co-ordination, faster reflexes, a way to break his inherent perfectionism and to overcome his tendency to refuse anything that he was not good at, teaching work ethic, perseverance etc. He is happy with TKD. He does not want to switch styles. He is learning now from a Master who can mentor him until he leaves for college. Even though it looks like an expensive hobby at that age and it also looks like the smallest kids are not on the fast track to First Degree Black Belt, they learn and absorb a lot from martial arts and many of its messages get ingrained in them when they start young. 

 

As for what to look for in a studio: we went to a belt factory because everyone around us went there. They had an awesome kids program (designed to retain young kids) that included fun, games, competitions etc and DS knew many kids there and the instructors were super fun and it worked well. Later we realized that most of our friends were focused on getting the First Degree Belt in 4 years and quitting and that our goals were different. So, we switched to a Korean master who runs a small studio and personally mentors his students. That has proven to be good for DS to build skills to go on to higher degree belts and also to compete. Look for a school that is accredited to some national/international organization (e.g. Kukkiwon for TKD) so that if you ever switch schools, the curriculum would still be the same and your DS does not have to start from scratch again. For the initial years, it does not matter how big or small the school is as long as your child is having fun and learning - observe the classes for white belts and see how the kid/instructor interaction is.

For the younger set, TKD is the most recommended in my area because it uses hands, legs and whole body and hence teaches whole body co-ordination. Though, if you find other styles with good teaching, then that is OK too.