Looking for Advice on Grade Placement (LDS/Seminary)

[bibsandmegs]

This is long.  I apologize, but I want to be sure the whole story is explained for better understanding and responses.  Thank you for reading and for your responses.

 

We are just finishing our fifth year of homeschooling.  I have a graduating senior, a sophomore (who attends public school), an 8th grade ds, and a dd who by age should be in 6th grade.  If you've done the math, you've realized that the youngest went to 1st grade in public school and then came home.  While in public school, it was determined that she was advanced and they were going to allow her to skip 2nd grade and put her in third grade.  Long story, but they didn't have room in third grade which was one of our reasons for bringing her home.

 

That first year, she did third and fourth grade work, essentially putting her at the same grade level as her brother (the now 8th grader mentioned above).  Since that year, she has done everything he does.  The only exception to that is English.  We have used TPS and due to her age, they would not allow her to be in the same class as he is.  However, she writes significantly better than he does.  In talking to her TPS teacher, she thought that skipping ahead now might be possible, but a placement test would be required.  We chose to go with another provider for next year instead putting her in a class that would be freshman level.

 

So, at this point, they should both be entering 9th grade next year, which for us (we are LDS) means Seminary.  She is almost 12 (the end of this month).  In addition, we are looking ahead to the future.  This dd desperately wants to go to BYU Provo, which is fine and probably achievable given her grades, etc. assuming all continues as is now.  Our concern is, do we send a 16 year old off to BYU?  We live on the east coast.  My initial first blush is, No Way.  However, then I start thinking about whether we would be stifling her back by not letting her, etc.

 

Another concern we have is her maturity level.  Yes, she is mature for her age.  However, is she high school mature?  That's something we aren't sure about.  Having said that, it's not a huge concern since she is homeschooled, but she does have to go to Seminary with high school kids daily.  For the recent Face to Face event, our ward had a get together at someone's house to watch it.  She came along, and was "bored" within 20 minutes and went in the other room to read a book.  We are concerned that this is a sign she's not ready for Seminary.

 

We could put her on a five year high school path which would give her more opportunity for AP classes, etc. and delays Seminary for a year.  However, what does that do to her psyche when we tell her.  She doesn't know we have concerns.  She assumes she starting high school and Seminary in the Fall.

 

Given her desire to go to BYU, we are not inclined to graduate her at 16, have her attend a CC for a year and then apply to BYU.  This would make her ineligible for scholarships and also have her coming in as a transfer student.

 

I would sure appreciate any thoughts anyone has on this.  Maybe practical experience if anyone has any.  I would love any insight anyone has, LDS or not.  This is not a normal situation for anyone, but I'm sure there are some great ideas out there that haven't even crossed our mind.  Thank you so much!!

[freesia]

I would not put a 12 year old into church events with high schoolers.  Are you ready to address dating? What if a 17 year old "falls" for her.  (And, yes, I've seen this happen in this type of situation).

 

I would do the 5 year high school plan with APs.

[Plagefille]

My DD is the same age, but turned 12 a few months ago. We are thinking of putting her in seminary one year early. So not this year but the following year. She wants to go to BYU when 17. We will probably do AP and Community college concurrent enrollment. From what I can tell they can take college classes but will still apply as a freshman at BYU because of age. Anyway I have been thinking of calling them and asking about seminary and kids that graduate early.

Edited April 14, 2017 by plagefille

[fourisenough]

I don't know anything about Seminary, but I vote for the 5-year high school plan with extra AP's, time for significant extracurriculars, volunteer experience, etc. No way would I send a 16-year old off to college across the country. (And I also have very bright, mature, 'old soul' girls.)

[justasque]

There is so much you can do with an extra year to make your dd a good solid candidate.  Don't just think in terms of coursework - she will have more time to do volunteer work, take classes relating to sports or hobbies or future major interests, or even take on an internship or job.  That extra time will help her to qualify for more merit money, too.  Think "broader, deeper, explore, experience, create."  And spread it all over the five years.  

[maize]

I attended seminary as a 12 year old, it was the once a week program where most of the work is done at home. I enjoyed the class and did not feel out of place.

 

With regard to college though, I would be inclined to give her an extra year. She can dual enroll in a local college while still in high school without losing freshman scholarship eligibility at BYU.

[Butter]

You may not get to make the decision about entering seminary.  Some stakes adamantly refuse to allow kids younger than typical high school age to attend.  Not completing all four years of seminary because of age is fine for BYU admissions.

 

I started taking college courses at 14.  I was full time college at 16.  But I was still living at home.  I would not suggest anyone send a 16 year old to BYU unless they live in Provo or somewhere very nearby.  I'd not worry about saying she's in high school quite yet and do as much dual enrollment as possible.  You can enter as a freshman with several credits earned via dual enrollment.  I know several homeschoolers who have done that and graduated in 3 years from BYU.

[winterbaby]

I would not put a 12 year old into church events with high schoolers.  Are you ready to address dating? What if a 17 year old "falls" for her.  (And, yes, I've seen this happen in this type of situation).

 

I would do the 5 year high school plan with APs.

 

I agree. Also, it can be awkward just with other girls as well. In the mid to late teens - even among religious people -  there's just a level of discussion about certain concerns that they're not going to want to include someone four or five years younger in... there's a developmentally important form of female friendship that won't be possible because they're not living the same concerns. I know you're concerned about the potential effect on her emotionally if she's told she's not going on to high school/Seminary this year, but you also have to consider the emotional effect of putting her in that kind of ongoing awkward situation with her peers, which could be much more lasting and extensive.

 

[Butter]

I would not put a 12 year old into church events with high schoolers.  Are you ready to address dating? What if a 17 year old "falls" for her.  (And, yes, I've seen this happen in this type of situation).

 

In the LDS church, a 12 year old WILL be in church events with high schoolers no matter what.  Once a month all girls 12-18 have a lesson together on Sunday and once a month all girls 12-18 have a mid-week activity together.  In addition, all the kids, boys and girls, 12-18 have a mid-week activity together once a month.  It's just the way it's done (and was done when I was a pre-teen/teen, too).  No dating until 16 is kind of pounded into kids' heads from early on.

[Targhee]

I had to make a similar decision last year. I chose NOT to start 9th/seminary. And I haven't regretted it. DD was frustrated at first, mostly about what grade to tell people she is in. I told her "8th grade 2.0".

 

If you are interested the is an LDS sub group here on WTM.

[bibsandmegs]

Thank you everyone for the replies. You've given me lots to think about. We are leaning towards the 5 year plan for many reasons, but you've given me more things I hadn't even thought of.

 

Although, as mentioned by Butter, the kids are already with older kids automatically and dating won't be an issue here. She can try, but she knows full and well that she better be 16, which of course, presents other issues like the fact that if we put her in high school now, she may never have a date before going off to college. I hadn't totally processed that, but you all have helped me think through more of these things. Thanks!

 

Targhee, I'd love the link to the LDS sub group here on WTM. Thank you!

 

Thanks again everyone!

[Butter]

Targhee, I'd love the link to the LDS sub group here on WTM. Thank you!

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/groups/83-lds-beehive/

[prairiewindmomma]

Dh went to BYU at 16, but he was emotionally ready for that.

 

I would have a chat with the stake seminary supervisor or the CES director--whoever it is that coordinates seminary enrollment in your area. I agree with Butter that you may not have a choice.

[stephinsocal]

For us, one of the great features of homeschooling is the ability to move ahead academically without having to skip nominal grade levels. Ds will head off to BYU in the fall at age 18 with a nice scholarship, having already finished all of the math classes required for an engineering degree. He intends to use the extra space in his schedule to study music and other things that interest him.

 

I'm very leery of putting a bright kid in a situation where s/he will be treated like a prodigy all the time. It's hard for them socially, and can influence them to avoid challenges for fear that they'll lose their status as the smart kid if they're seen to fail at something. FWIW.