Beaniemom Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Ds has special needs but at first presents like a nt child his age (his hearing devices blend in well). Tonight as cub scouts began I got the following text from dh (who took ds to scouts) The other boys are doing complex multiplication While waiting And poor DS keeps asking them to do 2+2 It broke my heart especially since ds sometimes just gives up trying to talk to the boys since his executive functioning issues combined with hearing issues make it hard to jump in a conversation. To be clear 2+2 is where we are at with him in math. He learns but does not retain. We are finally seeing progress now that his ADHD is identified and being addressed. DH wanted to do something but had no clue what and here I sit at home with no good suggestions. Does the Hive have any wisdom to share? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 (edited) Are you concerned about him making friends or keeping up with same ages kids academically? Sorry autocorrect got me. Edited January 25, 2017 by Rach 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I would say watch the pack, make sure he's being included, and then completely forget about it. I was a cub scout leader for years and in my experience boys don't care. It may be a topic for a night, but rarely does it come up twice. They're not sensitive like moms and don't hold grudges like girls. Really. They have fun, they all talk at once, they might punch each other, and then 90% move on as friends. I'd watch for the 10%, and I would not make it a big deal with your son. I'd he brings it up, and if the issue stays, then I might react. Really, the only time boys were left out by other boys was when they were being super annoying (like, singing on and on super loudly on purpose when everyone has asked kindly to stop) or physically aggressive. Then, leaders step in and redirect, get everyone busy, form up teams, encourage, distract, etc. With good leaders cub scouts can be a great experience for every single boy (and I have a special place in my heart for the "annoying" and easily distracted as well as the kids who need extra attention - most cub scout leaders do). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 If I was in the room I would probably just watch and see if the others are taking it in stride. If I can see that they are showing disdain I would probably call my dc over and just say something like, "why don't you sit and watch with me." If I wasn't there I would probably ask him how the meeting went and then see where to go from there depending on whether or not he perceived a problem. Sadly, he will at some point start to realise that he isn't nt. You can't delay that day forever. You'll just have to do your best to coach him through it and hope that it doesn't hurt too much. Homeschooling him will help this be so much easier for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I find it odd that a bunch of 8 year old boys would be discussing complex multiplication at a scout meeting. Was it somehow related to the activity for the night? If so, I'd probably make sure the leaders are aware of your sons needs so they don't continue to do things at such a level beyond what he can currently handle. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I find it odd that a bunch of 8 year old boys would be discussing complex multiplication at a scout meeting. Was it somehow related to the activity for the night? If so, I'd probably make sure the leaders are aware of your sons needs so they don't continue to do things at such a level beyond what he can currently handle. I don't find it all that odd - someone may have been showing off a math trick they learned, or they might have been having a little friendly competition. If it was during free time, the only thing I can think of to do is to always send ds with something interesting, so he can occupy himself and maybe pull in another quiet kid or two. Collectible cards? A comic book? Drawing pad? I don't know how long free time is or what's allowed, but just anything so he doesn't feel left out. If it was a planned activity, then some are just going to be above his ability, but I'd certainly make them aware so they can have alternatives and also be ready to respond to the other boys if needed, or put ds in a smaller group for projects so he might be able to hear/attend better. My dh and my aunt have hearing loss, and I know quite well I need to speak up and also be looking at them, but I manage to forget pretty often. Your dh might be able to work on some plans with the leaders to unobtrusively help ds participate. It's hard. If there are parts of Scouts that he enjoys, I'd encourage him to continue. If not, I'd probably look for a different activity. Loud groups and hearing issues are just a tough mix, not even considering the other issues. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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