Lies People Told Me

[TranquilMind]

I think we can definitely agree on this.

 

I've always expressed the importance and benefit (to me) of my family's dynamics. It's exactly why I prioritize them over every thing else. And you're right, we don't get to pick our parents. And I'm sorry for your husband's experiences, particularly what amounts to the loss of BOTH parents at a young age. Like him, my family counted on me to work. At the time I was studying for college, I had 10 younger siblings to help care for and financially support. Maintaining a college scholarship (away from home) was a breeze compared to what I had to deal with while trying to earn it. My challenges weren't identical to his but they were close, and I can relate to how defeating it felt.

 

I like what you said about it being something that builds from one generation to the next. I think where I benefitted most is that my parents' generation worked side by side with me to get me where they wanted me to go. Families who don't have that same multi-generational tradition can still benefit, it may just take more generations to realize the benefits.

 

But - not to get sidetracked - this is also where the culture of COMMUNITY comes into play, and where the differences between typical Asian culture and typical American culture are glaring. My parents didn't have a bunch of cash to put into a college home for me! And even if they had qualified for a loan (they wouldn't), they don't trust banks and would never have taken one - a carryover from the old country LOL. That money was pooled from the community - aunts, cousins, grandparents, friends, etc. This is not unusual for Asians, especially those new to the US. I just don't see that happening with Americans ... they seem to prefer formal contracts and keeping business separate from friends/family. What someone sees as then being lucky to have that option, neglects to see the accompanying strings that comes with it. Different cultures.

This community thing is something I have not known since early childhood.  They are all dead.

 

Sounds awesome.  You are right. That independent spirit you see in the movies is something essentially American, but it does have its drawbacks. 

[JumpyTheFrog]

I'm starting a spin-off thread about family helping family.

[Rosie_0801]

It feels unethical to me to have as your financial plan: make money off other people's work & money.

 

Everyone who provides employment to anyone else is doing this, and it's a good thing they do because subsistence farming isn't a viable option. Banks do this and you can't run a nation state without them.

[Arcadia]

And what are you thinking when you say this? What kind of job or career would you use as an example.

Trading. If you have the knack for it and don't mind the high pace, high stress environment. A friend did Forex trading after graduating from college for a few years. His chain smoking was worsen by being a trader. He did switch to something else in sales later, after making enough for a car and a sizable downpayment.

[8circles]

Everyone who provides employment to anyone else is doing this, and it's a good thing they do because subsistence farming isn't a viable option. Banks do this and you can't run a nation state without them.

 

Yes, I know.  That's what I was trying to acknowledge in my first post.  I just don't like it as a goal to "not waste your life because you're too smart to work for your money".  

 

I also acknowledge that I could be wrong as this is based on my emotional reaction to her statement.

[DawnM]

Trading. If you have the knack for it and don't mind the high pace, high stress environment. A friend did Forex trading after graduating from college for a few years. His chain smoking was worsen by being a trader. He did switch to something else in sales later, after making enough for a car and a sizable downpayment.

 

Oh good gravy no!  Shorten your life by smoking and stress, but hey, you can make money!

 

No thanks.

[sewingmama]

nm

Edited July 27, 2016 by sewingmama