Daughter sick all year, can't send in grades to colleges--how to handle that?

[Chicory]

Hi All,

My daughter is a senior this year and applied to several colleges, but she has been sick almost all this school year. Mostly either gynecological stuff which has been gradually worsening after having responded to hormonal treatment last year, or colds/flu. Aside from spending 3 weeks at Christmas time applying, she has been sick pretty much for the whole time except for 4 or 5 weeks. The medicines the doctors prescribed did not help...

 

So she has not even been able to complete one semester's work--I can't send any grades for this year to the colleges she has applied to, and I have no idea what to do. 

 

I would be extremely grateful for any help or advice!!!! Thank you very much!!!!!

[Barb_]

What about community college? When is her birthday? Can you keep her home for a another year and just take the final four years as high school? That should work as long as she won't be nearly 20 when she graduates

[regentrude]

I would contact the colleges, explain the situation, and ask them whether they can hold the application for the year after. I assume your DD needs time to get well and finish her senior year, so would not attend college this fall if she has been this ill.

Best wishes for her health.

[Chicory]

What about community college? When is her birthday? Can you keep her home for a another year and just take the final four years as high school? That should work as long as she won't be nearly 20 when she graduates

Thanks, Barb. Unfortunately, if she did that, she would be 19.5 when she graduated :( 

 

And yes, cc would totally be an option, except that we hoped she could start as a freshman if she went to the state university because my older child transferred in with an AA and the transition was tough. The cc here is not known for academic rigor--it's a sort of a branch cc which has more art courses than math, and no foreign language at all!

[Chicory]

Are these colleges she's been accepted into? Can she request a gap year?

She has not been accepted yet. I thought they wouldn't accept her without her senior-year grades? That's my concern.

[Chicory]

I would contact the colleges, explain the situation, and ask them whether they can hold the application for the year after. I assume your DD needs time to get well and finish her senior year, so would not attend college this fall if she has been this ill.

Best wishes for her health.

Wow, can they do that--hold the application? 

 

 

She has not been seriously ill, just quite sick a lot, which is what is making the whole thing difficult.

 

Right now, if she got totally better and didn't get sick again, there is a chance she could get through all her courses in a reasonable amount of time, but this is kind of the tipping point, if you see what I mean.

 

 

 

Best wishes for her health.

Thank you :)

Edited February 25, 2016 by Chicory

[JanetC]

I wouldn't worry about her age when she starts school. She will go when she is healed and ready, to a college that appreciates her for what she has accomplished despite her rough year.

 

(If she does go to CC, there is no rule that you have to finish the AA before she attempts to transfer, either.)

 

I agree with calling admissions to discuss the situation. Setting the application aside for a year or being accepted with deferral may be options. Large universities often have CC transfers coming in all the time, so she could defer for a semester instead of a whole year, depending on where she wanted to go.

[bettyandbob]

I'd call off the stress.

 

I'd send a letter saying you are withdrawing applications due to illness. Set a new graduation timeline (Dec?). Have her work through the summer to finish some courses and finish others in December. Start applications again in the fall. Then, plan for spring to be working for college money or volunteering in a career field that interests her.

 

People do graduate in December. If you need to explain it, that would go in your counselors stuff next year.

 

People do start college at 19 and 20. I had a friend who was almost 20 when she started college. Her dad's job had taken the family on worldwide travels and she started school a couple years late. This was pre homeschool being known. It was fine. In fact she way more mature and focused than the average freshman.

[regentrude]

I'd send a letter saying you are withdrawing applications due to illness.

 

I agree with most of what Diana wrote, but think it would be preferable to ask for the application to be deferred as opposed to withdrawing, because withdrawing would mean the application fees and test score sending fees would be lost.

[Pegasus]

I'd send a letter saying you are withdrawing applications due to illness. Set a new graduation timeline

 

This!  Simply withdraw the applications, rest, relax, and heal.  Finish the final course subjects in her own time.  Apply to college anew in the fall for Fall 2017 entry. College will still be there and, important for scholarships, she will still be considered an entering freshman.

 

Even if she started feeling better, I think it is a mistake to pile on the stress/work to rush through her coursework in an effort to finish "on time." 

 

 

[DebbS]

I'm not sure withdrawing the application is a great idea. Not just yet anyway.  I would call the college admissions and find out what they suggest before taking extreme measures such as with drawing the application. Make sure you speak to an admission counselor rather than the student who answers the phone.  Most colleges accept students during their senior year contingent upon grades sent at the end of their senior year. Some colleges want mid-term grades, but not all of them do.

 

It is still possible for your daughter to finish highschool if she works into the summer, and then she could start in the Fall if desired. Another option might be to delay enrollment until the Spring. Many colleges won't require a new application for that nor will they pull merit aid. We actually put off my son's enrollment for an entire year while keeping his merit aid intact.

 

Also, if you have a chance of getting federal or state aid, go ahead and fill out the fafsa for her anyways. It won't hurt to do so even if she does end up waiting a year.

[Bootsie]

Being 19.5 when she graduates would not be too uncommon with many people delaying starting school. 

 

Before I made a decision regarding the application process I would consider her health and academic preparation.  Do you think she is healed enough to handle college in the fall?  If the answer to that is yes, do you think she is academically prepared for college at this point (regardless of current "grades" in courses)?   If not, what needs to be done to get her to that point? 

[Chicory]

Thank you all soooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All your replies and understanding of the situation have been very reassuring! And all the suggestions have been great, sort of like lighting a lamp in the middle of the night!!!!! 

 

 

[Chicory]

Debb, Pegasus, Regentrude, and Diana,

Thank you all for the information and thoughts about withdrawing or deferring and how to handle that. I will discuss this with my daughter and then call the school to see what they think best. I imagine this is the sort of thing that varies from school to school on how they handle it.

 

I hope the reduction of pressure and knowing how the school will react will help my daughter to at least relax while feeling sick.

[Chicory]

Being 19.5 when she graduates would not be too uncommon with many people delaying starting school. 

 

Before I made a decision regarding the application process I would consider her health and academic preparation.  Do you think she is healed enough to handle college in the fall?  If the answer to that is yes, do you think she is academically prepared for college at this point (regardless of current "grades" in courses)?   If not, what needs to be done to get her to that point? 

I was worried that graduating at a late age would look bad, even tho I know that starting college at a later age is ok, with gap years and all.

 

I am not sure about the coursework. Altho they require certain courses be taken in high school to apply there, they also offer them to students who do not test well enough in their placement tests, which seems weird to me because they are quite competitive academically--just another mystery of the regular schools I guess!

 

She is so ready to be off and starting the next phase of her life, and she is very mature in many ways, but I was already going to recommend to her to take "easy" courses her first semester (which we thought would be Fall) so she could get accustomed to how everything works in college, since so many freshmen get carried away. Of course, I can always think of more they should learn while still at home... in fact, I read something by my child who is a senior in college and thought, Oh, I should teach him this :o

 

Thank you for your suggestions regarding how to manage whatever situation comes up, that is very wise advice!

 

 

ETA: Healthwise, we will be seeing the doctor this week, and that will determine or at least begin the process of figuring out that aspect of her situation. I don't think anything they have done so far has helped, but I think that means we have to go up a level. What that will entail, I don't know.

Edited February 25, 2016 by Chicory

[cave canem]

What about community college? When is her birthday? Can you keep her home for a another year and just take the final four years as high school? That should work as long as she won't be nearly 20 when she graduates

What happens at 20?

[Barb_]

What happens at 20?

Nothing, actually. Except that delaying graduation for a year might be psychologically easier on the student if she were a late spring or summer birthday. I realized my June girl wasn't going to be ready to graduate on time. She has always been an emotional late bloomer and immature for her age. She spun her wheels her entire freshman year. She took a victory lap the following year and I can tell it was the right thing to do. She'll be 17 this June and acts like a mature sophomore or a childish junior, if that makes sense? Still, she had a hard time watching her friends advance without her. I think it may have been harder if she were going to be closer to 20 at graduation.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Barb_

[OnMyOwn]

if you think she is ready for college and has a decent chance of finishing over the summer, I'd work towards that and estimate the grades. Would that really be awful to do? I would think by now you'd probably know what kinds of grades she is going to receive. That is, unless she is okay with the prospect of putting college off another year.

[katilac]

I was worried that graduating at a late age would look bad, even tho I know that starting college at a later age is ok, with gap years and all.

 

 

No, graduating a bit later doesn't look bad, just like graduating early doesn't gain you any points. There may be other considerations, but you don't need to worry about that aspect. 

[Barb_]

No, graduating a bit later doesn't look bad, just like graduating early doesn't gain you any points. There may be other considerations, but you don't need to worry about that aspect.

You could leave an entire year or semester blank with an explanation that she had health issues, or you could group the transcript by subject rather than by year and leave the dates off altogether (except for graduation date).

[Reefgazer]

Once she is accepted, ask them for a deferment of a semester or a year.  I received a deferment for grad school for one semester because my employer asked if I could work an additional few months before leaving for full time grad studies, and the college I attended had no problem with it; all I had to do was write a letter asking for it.

[Chicory]

Hi All, 

Wow, where did the time go? I so appreciate all the help; it was so encouraging! 

 

Anyway, went to the doctor's, turns out she probably has endometriosis, which has to be dxed by their actually sending a tiny periscope in to see what is happening, but her symptoms match up with the list. 

 

——Note: who knew that a gynecological problem could aggravate allergies? She only had one problem all along!——

 

And while all that was going on, she was accepted to a different, but also good, state college (which is unfortunately not in our state :( ), so that has heartened everyone :) (OK, I was a couple storeys up from relief!!!!)

 

So now that will be treated and hopefully she will be able to actually make some progress in her schoolwork, but if she doesn't, well, it won't be the end of the world like I thought it would be!

 

Again, thanks so much to all of you!!!!