Anne in CA Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Judges who side with abusers during court should go to hell. Straight to hell. Do not pass go. Get to hell. That is all. One of my oldest friends just went to family court because her abusive ex has decided he would like custody now that the kids are old enough not to be too much work. The judge believed every lie that as&&&le said without question. My df had lots of proof the creep was lying, but the judge went with the lies of the creep over her absolute proof. I hate the parody that is becoming American Justice sometimes. The lying creep is a famous doctor, so I suppose the judge game him some credibility because of that, but a lie should be called out as a lie, period. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Oh no, this is terrible. Family court is so messed up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 It really is. It is so hard to listen to people lie like than and have them be completely disproved with FACTS and have the facts dismissed for whatever reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 :( I'm sorry. I hope the kids are safe. And that your friend can appeal. And fame should not = credibility. That makes me angry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 Actually the kids are probably not safe. He has hurt the younger one twice in the last year and the counselor the kids have been seeing do not believe them to be completely safe at his house. However, they wouldn't testify because they were sure that if they testified the judge wouldn't believe them, and the kids would pay a bad price for being honest in sessions. That is family court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Anne, I am so sorry. How tragic for the children. I'm guessing the ex is probably a narcissist and for whatever reason they seem to be particularly convincing liars. It's absolutely tragic what can happen in family court. No jury, just a judge. And a judge is a power person. And famous doctors are power people. And power people stick together. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 It is terrible! My brother was in court in early September for custody stuff and it has not been decided on yet! There really should be limits of how long a judge can have to make a decision. Six months! In the mean time the mom moved her, which isn't suppose to be legal. She started at a new high school, had a blow out with her mother and is back with her father where she wanted to be. There has to be a better way to make sure kids are safe in the eyes of the court. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 It just seems like the court doesn't really care about kids at all. I mean, is there a judge anywhere that cares about kids???? Because I was so sure in this case there was so much evidence that this guy is a controlling abuser, and yet he was given more control over my friend and more time with the kids. To make matters more disgusting the judge's wife sits on the domestic abuse counsel for the state they live in. I feel so bad for women in who have been through this. It is just not fair at all. The only silver lining to this cloud is that that the expert witnesses my friend hired believed that her ex would completely capable of killing her if he didn't get what he wanted. The way the judge made the decision though, he will not be allowed to move and I think that's why he wanted custody. He has faced several wrongful death suits in the last three years and he probably wants to get out of the state he is in before his reputation is ruined. Now he will have to stay. So I am still not sure that he won't harm my friend. He certainly won't go to jail for it if he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I'm so sorry. I've seen it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 One of the hardest things in these cases is that it is almost impossible to make a 'legally clear' connection between a person's behaviour towards their ex spouse -- to be able to take it as an indication of probable behaviour towards children. In the legal system those two pieces of information are about as closely related as alleging that negligent car maintenance indicates someone is likely to neglect kids. Plus, you can't curtail someone's parenting rights because they are 'likely' to break laws... Only after they have done so. And, many acts of unwise and damaging parenting simply don't rise to the level of permitting the court to remove one's access to one's children. It leads to cruddy parents continuing to have rights after divorce... But I don't think it can be helped? Most of the 'he's just a poopy human being who is poopy to me and my kids' information is complete irrelevant to the legalities of the rights of poppy parents. They get to keep their kids if they are married and under the radar (just like good parents), and they get to keep the same rights as good parents when they go through divorces. Whether married or divorced, you've got to really cross clear legal lines -- with the kids, not in your other relationships -- to loose parental access. Judges get don't decide what actual situation would be best for the kids. That's not their role. Their role is to decide whether either parent has done anything (in the legal sense) sufficient to actually lose their children. If not, they have to be treated as equal in the eyes of the law. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 We deal with this all of the time in the foster care system.....sad to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.