Do you confer with your spouse about every purchase?

[Audrey]

No, I don't.

 

But I don't think that question is relevant to your dilemma. 

 

In your case, I think those people are just trying to string you along until they can either come up with the money or see if they can find it for less elsewhere.  IIWY, I would simply reply with, "I'm glad you're interested, but the item will be going to the first firm purchaser.  I am afraid that due to the volume of interest, I'm unable to hold items or wait for replies."

[TammyS]

. Even 10 bucks can throw off the person who deals with the finances if you've already depleted your part of the budget for a specific thing

 

This.

 

I don't do it anymore, thankfully, but when we were really broke I talked to my dh about everything, just to make sure the money was there and didn't get spent on something else when I wasn't looking (like needing a bit of extra gas for the week or something).

 

Now, not as much. 

 

I do agree that they should just talk to their dh if they need to, before wasting your time on it.  I would just ignore what they said and pay attention to the first person with cash in hand.

 

[medawyn]

Aw, come on.  The rest of us would have liked to see some House Hunter drama, you know!

 

He moved in three weeks before the kids and I did (and by moved in, I mean camp chairs, air mattress, and the three kitchen utensils he brought with him.  Plus fishing gear and guns; you know, the essentials).  I was a nervous wreck!  I think I asked him for a week straight if he was SURE he liked it (not that a house is all that returnable).  I literally spent 48 hours in a town I'd never been in before - in a state I hadn't really been in before! - so I was gambling on things like location as well as house layout.

 

I did make sure to throw around phrases like "open concept main floor" and "entertain frequently" and "master retreat" just to satisfy my HGTV guilty pleasure :-)

 

I'll add that I just finished furniture shopping without him, too.  At least he can guarantee comfy things with a pregnant wife doing the shopping.  I sat in just about everything I could, and the criteria was basically, if I'm finally comfortable, it's going in my house.

[heartlikealion]

I think it was the day before we celebrated dd's 1 yr birthday dh texted me to ask my opinion on a toy for her. He showed me the price and color options. I'm glad he asked... the item was already purchased (at a lower price) and waiting for her to open at the party. I had told him when I bought it, but probably didn't go into great detail. It wouldn't have killed our budget but it would have been a pain to return. So maybe there's a slim chance the buyer needed to check to make sure her dh hadn't run out and bought a coffee maker yet lol.

[freeindeed]

No, I don't. If it's a major purchase, then yes. Minor things? No. 

[Tsuga]

I am trying to sell quite a few things on forums and online FB local sales.

 

People keep saying, "I want this but let me talk to my husband."  

 

They say this about little things.....$10 coffee makers to $50 homeschool curriculum offerings.

 

I honestly think they are trying to get me to hold it for them.  First of all, do they really confer with their husbands about everything?  And second of all, if you really want it and need to talk to him first.....talk to him and THEN respond.  I am not holding anything.  I need this stuff GONE.

 

Just curious what the deal is.

 

I was going to say "no, of course not, I spend my own money" but then when I thought about it... like your concrete example, buying a coffee maker, I actually do, because sometimes I forget we wanted something else, or I forget that we already have something. We discuss most purchases because we have so much STUFF. 

 

So I could see myself doing that, putting in a word but then consulting with him.

 

Whereas, with my EX husband, who was terrible at remembering things and would go off on a tangent, no, I did not consult him at all after a point!

 

We spend less when we consult. Now that you've alerted me to it I wonder if I will change. Probably not. He is a good control on my spending and I'm a good control on his.

[Danestress]

No. It's more the cost that would determine whether we consult, and whether it is something we both would have opinions on. I don't consult with him buying things only I use and that are less that may be $200. If he is going to use something too - coffee maker is a good example - I might ask if he cares what I buy. I think he probably had the same practice. Neither of us are compulsive buyers, though.

 

When finances were tighter we consulted more. But I consider it a joy of adulthood it to have to not ask someone about small choices, and he does too. If things were tight, we would though.

 

And I would never lie about needing to consult with him when I don't need to. It seems not only deceptive, but also cowardly. If I don't really need and intend to consult with him but am not sure about the purchase, I would say so.

[purplejackmama]

No way! He would think I was nuts. But in full disclosure, I'm cheap. He knows I'm not going to spend crazy stupid money. Maybe if we had "issues" with this, I would feel obligated to run purchases by him.