Share a funny kid story... I need a laugh

[mommylawyer]

Ever since I've known my husband (and his 3 younger brothers), his mom has inundated me with stories, especially funny things they've said about their parts.

 

I was finally able to call my MIL with my own funny little boy story last week...

 

My son, youngest daughter, my mother and I were in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. My son starts YELLING, "Mommy, I can feel my bone!" I turn around and my sweet little 3 year old son has his hands in his pants, still yelling excitedly about the bone he discovered.

 

Color me embarrassed.

[newlifemom]

Grin grin, chuckle chuckle, :lol: :lol::smilielol5:

[Michele B]

Please don't let him say that in front of my dd4! You know she is already fascinated that he has " a different kind of bootie!"

 

Tonight she told her daddy the bread was "hard, d@!#% hard." We need a new bar of soap!

[Mom2jnb]

Heee heeee

 

:w00t::smilielol5:

[KIN]

My 4-year is learning how to wipe himself. He told me a few days ago "I know Mom! I'll wipe and you can check to see if I'm clean. We can do that until I'm a grown-up!" :tongue_smilie: Uhhhh, I hope not!!!! :lol:

[Jumping In Puddles]

My son, youngest daughter, my mother and I were in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. My son starts YELLING, "Mommy, I can feel my bone!" I turn around and my sweet little 3 year old son has his hands in his pants, still yelling excitedly about the bone he discovered.

 

Color me embarrassed.

 

:lol: :D

 

My 5 year old son spilled his milk at the dinner table and said, "****" then looked straight at me and said, I meant dam, like an actual dam... a beaver dam! I'm talking about an ACTUAL DAM!

 

O'RLY? :lol:

[Kathleen in VA]

I was reading a story about a dear, sweet princess to dd9 when she was about 4yo. I asked her if she was always sweet and kind like the princess. She shook her head "no" and seemed kind of embarrassed about it. In an effort to reassure her that she was not alone I said, "Do you want to know a secret?" She snuggled up close and said, "Yes." I snuggled back and whispered, "Mommy isn't always sweet and kind either." She leaned back in astonishment and said loudly, "Mom, that's no secret!"

[LizzyBee]

My 7 yo dd has chosen her life's ambition.

 

 

Drum

 

 

roll

 

 

please

 

 

 

 

 

She wants to live in MD (near her grandma) and work at "you know, that McDonald's there."

[Amy from WT]

My kids are older, and I don't get as many funny stories nowadays, sniff...

but I'd love to share one of my favorite homeschooling stories from my oldest daughter.

 

She's 18 now, and we just dropped her off three weeks ago on the opposite coast for her freshman year of college. We miss her like crazy!

 

When she was five, we were learning some things about our country, using an A Beka curriculum book. We learned three symbols of America: The Great Seal, the Bald Eagle, and the Statue of Liberty.

 

Well, we live right near the Statue of Liberty, so we decided to take a field trip. On our way there, I decided to see if she could remember the other two symbols of America.

 

She crinkled her forehead, thought for a minute, and then asked quizzically, "The Great Seagull?"

[Aggie]

We have a darlin' 7yo son, but he definitely hears a different drummer. :)

 

While out looking for a Christmas tree to chop down 3 years ago, he came upon a stump where someone else had chopped their tree down. He exclaimed, "LOOK! Someone planted an upside down tree."

 

Last evening, he had dinner at my sister's home. She had roast, carrots and mashed potatoes. His version, though, is "roast, carrots, potato salad, and potato sauce" (gravy) He leads a sheltered life, eh?

 

I love kidisms!

 

Aggie :)

[swellmomma]

My 7 yo dd has chosen her life's ambition.

 

 

Drum

 

 

roll

 

 

please

 

 

 

 

 

She wants to live in MD (near her grandma) and work at "you know, that McDonald's there."

 

Oh this reminded me of my oldest son, back when he was 3 yrs old. After hearing everyone tell his little sister how cute she was in all her dresses(she was pretty darn cute) he announced that when he grew up he was going to wear dresses and work at mc donald's. :001_huh: Thank goodness he has given up that plan and is now talking about joining the army.

[swellmomma]

Today I hear a little voice chanting reuse, recycle...reuse, recycle... over and over again. I look in the other room to see my 5 yr old taking his scooter apart. So I ask him what he thinks he is doing. He answers Well this wheel fell off so I am taking all the parts of for other people to use. You know reuse recycle.

 

Very smart boy that one. Turns out a neighborhood kid broke a wheel off his scooter. Easy to fix, jsut needed a new nut. Now I have to put the whole darn thing back together.

[Amy in Orlando]

Ever since I've known my husband (and his 3 younger brothers), his mom has inundated me with stories, especially funny things they've said about their parts.

 

I was finally able to call my MIL with my own funny little boy story last week...

 

My son, youngest daughter, my mother and I were in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. My son starts YELLING, "Mommy, I can feel my bone!" I turn around and my sweet little 3 year old son has his hands in his pants, still yelling excitedly about the bone he discovered.

 

Color me embarrassed.

 

:lol::lol:I feel like your mil lately. My oldest and my twin sons are 14-months apart. We have some crazy stories from when they were young. The one that comes to mind right now is my oldest son, coming back from a trip to our local farm/petting zoo. He was about 3 and the twins were on the verge of turning two. (I'm sure of this because all three boys fit in one wagon at the time.)

 

I was kind of relieved at dinner when my oldest opted NOT to tell dh of my shameful cowardice (I jumped over a fence when a turkey got to close). I left my three babies to the giant evil turkeys because the thought of being near one of them freaked me out so much.

 

Oldest son proceeded to tell dh about all the animals and the fun they'd had. And he went on to explain about the special cow that made milk. That cow "had seven penises" according to my son. Dh said, in his best Ward Cleaver voice, "Son, I think you mean 'udders.'" Oldest son excitedly said "Yeah, the cow had a penis and seven others!"

 

:::sniff:::: too many proud moments to relive in one post.

[ChrisN in NY]

My mother-in-law had two great stories about dh (which he retells on occasion)...

 

Dh must've been 4 or 5 and his mother had to go to the bank. Dh wanted to go in the bank with his mother, but she said no, he had to wait in the car. (They lived in a small town in the days when you could leave your kid in the car without thinking twice about it.) So he yelled out the open window at her "MEANIE MUDDER!"

 

Dh has 6 older brothers; he's the youngest. By the time he was 8 or 10, his mother had heard it all. One day when he was mad at her because he wasn't getting something he wanted, he called her a B**CH as she was walking upstairs. She called back, "You know what that makes you, don't you?" He did know.

[Rosie_0801]

My mother thought it was pretty funny when my brother decided to clean the shower for her, using sugar AND soap, instead of sugar OF soap. So funny in fact, that she made me clean up the sugar crystals. Then there was the time he did the washing. In bleach. Then hung it to dry over my school jumper. Lucky she caught that in time, because that wretched jumper was probably the most expensive article of clothing I owned! He would also, very helpfully, mop the kitchen and dining room floors, and leave them 2cm deep in water.

Such a cute kid :) Now a dreadlocked monster, and only cute on the inside. Though I'm getting used to the dreads...

:)

Rosie

[cin]

A few weeks ago I was in our local department store checking out the clearances. Z is 4, so we were near the baby section (sniff sniff). So Pip, being the older, wiser sister (all of 7) decided to explain to Z about the pink and blue stuff. Here's how the conversation went, generally.:

 

P: If the baby is a boy they give the mommy blue, if it's a girl, they give her pink.

Z: How do they know?

P: When the baby is born it's either a girl or boy.

Z: How do they know?

P: Mama, how do they know? :w00t:

ME: The Dr. tells them (We WERE in a department store, of course!)

P: How does the Doctor know?

ME: The little boys have a p&nis

Z: What's a P&nis?

P: That lump in daddy's pants.

:smilielol5: