kiana Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Hmmm. I see what you mean. My grandmother (maternal) and her sister were thin as young women, then after they had kids, they "solidified." Not heavy, but solid, sturdy. They were both really amazing cooks though and used to cooking in quantities to satisfy the Nebraska farmhands. Right, and this was actually what I was referring to as "matronly" (I think in a different thread?). Not heavy, just solid and not really slim anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Right, and this was actually what I was referring to as "matronly" (I think in a different thread?). Not heavy, just solid and not really slim anymore. Not in my family. Yes, they were refered to as matronly. But, they were fat, not just solid. Trust me, I saw them in their undies a couple of times... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Not in my family. Yes, they were refered to as matronly. But, they were fat, not just solid. Sorry, I was talking about swimmermom's family, where she did say "not heavy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Emphasis added to make a point. You are, of course, welcome to feel any way you wish about your own 20 pounds. That does not give you the right to speak judgmentally or cruelly to anyone else. I wasn't aware I was being cruel to anyone. I don't find obesity desirable......But I am not cruel to any of my obese friends...and I have a lot....seems to be a big problem..... Anyway, I need to bow out because clearly unless one posts that obesity is fine there is going to be judgment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Do you not believe that our word choices reflects our beliefs, both conscious and subconscious? You referred to Holiday's flaunting of her obesity specifically, not her body. I replied and referred to SI models' photos flaunting of their skinniness, and you replied and agreed that the SI models are flaunting their "bodies as well." But your first reference was to flaunting obesity, not a body. And my reference was to flaunting skinniness, yet in your reply you changed it to "bodies." If you don't see how your subtle terminology changes reflect your thinking here, I can't help you. You may not even realize it, but you're coming at this issue from a "skinny bodies are normal and acceptable to me" mindset, which automatically makes overweight bodies "abnormal and unacceptable." It informs your biases about this model's very existence in her photos. To you, slim semi-naked models, doing what every model does, are flaunting their bodies--something we all have. However, to you, overweight semi-naked models, although they're still doing the exact same thing every other semi-naked model is doing, are flaunting something unacceptable to you--their obesity. You don't even see this model as a human being with a body. You see her as her obesity. And your words don't reflect someone who believes that the poor health that may come with obesity is undesirable. Your words reflect someone who believes that obesity is undesirable because it's ugly. How incredibly sad that you feel like you need to cover up when other people show up at the pool because you have a little extra weight. Do you hide your body from your DH? From your son? What are you teaching your son about the acceptableness of women's bodies? I surely hope that he doesn't someday believe that his wife should cover herself up at the POOL of all places because she's gained a few pounds. The very idea breaks my heart. No, it's the kind, nonjudgmental thing to say. There's a vast gulf of difference between "That would not be my choice" and "She made a bad choice," especially over an issue that does not really affect you. Just for the record...I never cover up in front of my husband. Ever. And my son sees me at our pool in my itty bitty bikini..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 As someone who is very heavy, I don't think that glorifying what is essentially a health problem is a great idea. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Lisa, I'm one of the team leaders of the Well-Trained Sparks, a private Spark Team on Sparkpeople.com If anyone joins Sparkpeople and wants to be invited to that team, please PM me here and I'll invite you. Lifestyle stuff is the entire answer for some people. Lifestyle stuff is healthy. Like I said before, I do all the lifestyle stuff day in and day out. It is healthy and good. I wouldn't be a team leader on Sparkpeople if I didn't believe in the value of lifestyle stuff! But it has not made me lose weight. Or I should say, it hasn't made me lose enough weight. Oh and fwiw seeing as I am only one person with one person's data, I have never been on antidepressants. Jean, you just moved a little bit higher up on the pedestal I had already placed you on. :D I am in awe and grateful to anyone who is a team leader on SparkPeople. I think the years are going to show us that as a nation we are looking at weight gain and its causes on two different levels. There is the national aspect - why the dramatic increase in obesity in such a short period of time. 35% percent of the country lost all will power, including the children at the same time? If we all lived in cities where we had to walk everywhere, would things change? If we went out and did things with other people besides eating in restaurants or sitting at our computers, would things change? Someone recently linked an article for me on "dopamine squirts" and how programmers take advantage of the chemical reactions that people have when they check their smart phone, to make more "addicting" apps. Do companies in our food supply have similar strategies? We've talked about added hormones in the food supply. Does that wreck havoc with those who are already hormonally challenged. Then you have to look at weight gain on individual basis. Jean has provided an example of someone who is doing everything right, but still struggles. Others have shared stories of being thin for decades, having a health issue, and then struggling. Every body is unique and not a single answer will work for everyone. Kiana's article that she linked has been more of my experience with the battle of the bulge. Every time I have eaten less and moved more, I have lost weight so I know that part works, at least for me. What I do not have a grasp on finding a healthier response to stress than eating. Until a few years ago, my life always moved at a whirlwind pace. No time to melt down, so grab a cookie. Others here are not emotional eaters and do truly have physical reasons for their weight gain. I think it's good to talk about all of the pieces, but I have to tell you all that I am not ready to go a place mentally that says there is no hope. I may never look like Kate Moss, but I can be healthier than I am at this moment. For those of you that don't struggle with weight, but feel it is very important that everyone hear your concerns about heavy people, I caution you to think very carefully about your words. Think how similar words would affect you on a topic that is painful for you. Do not become part of the problem. A few years ago, I lost 35 pounds and felt so much better health wise and in my confidence level. One well-meaning person, that I love dearly, let me know just how they felt about my weight. That was soul-crushing and I turned around and gained 40 pounds. That person also left me wondering if they would care for me if I lost my chest to breast cancer or if my face was disfigured in a car accident. As someone said earlier upstream, the words we choose are often more telling about us as people than the person we are talking about. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan Wise Bauer Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Guys, I'm currently the only moderator, and I am on my phone hotspot due to power outages in Virginia, so I'm going to close this without sorting through all of the dialogue. Will try to do a more "surgical" approach tomorrow if reports warrant. SWB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts