Question. Do I even try to make school engaging for a child who "hates" it?

[happyWImom]

My dd (almost 13) says she "hates" school, and just wants to get it over with.  She loves learning certain things on her own, outside of our "school".  She knows more about birds, reptiles, and other animals than I ever will, and voraciously reads field guides of all kinds.  She is a fantastic photographer, very artistic and creative, as well as a talented pianist.  She enjoys reading-what she wants to read, not for "school".

 

So, I have busted my butt for years trying to come up with interesting, engaging curriculum that she will love, because I want her to love learning.  Also, I'm now getting concerned about high school and college, and am thinking I should be challenging her more.  But.  She is/can be a difficult child, so part of me just wants to have her do Calvert, (or something similar) across the board for the ease and accountability, because if she hates everything anyway, what am I killing myself for??? :banghead:

 

I need lots of advice, because I've been scouring the boards for info. on distance learning, looking at MP, BJU, Abeka-all things that are totally different from our norm.  We've done literature type stuff-MFW, BF, SL unit studies.  They never seem to get done, though.  She is an average reader, but needs to take her time for comprehension.  So, something like SL (which my ds would kill for) is a nightmare for her.  When I read aloud, she says she doesn't take it in as well.  I'm at a loss, here.

 

Here is what she's doing now.  BF Early Am. HIstory, Intermediate, BF History of the Horse, Apologia Swimming Creatures w/ her own notebooking, Essentials in Writing, MUS, Vocabulary from Classical Roots, piano, drawing lessons, speech class.  She does pretty well with the BF (when she stays on task & we have time) as well as Apologia.  But, we started Apologia Gen. Science at the beginning of the year with a Co-op and it moved too quickly (with the co-op schedule) and was taking her FOREVER.  She totally hated it, and she's always liked Apologia.  I have BF Ancients and was thinking of using it for next year, but it's a lot more work than she's done.

 

Okay, enough background.  PLEASE HELP!  :001_smile: 

[Kalmia]

Sounds like a living books approach to science might be called for (maybe with a more engaging text for a spine). There are many lists on here of living science books none of which I have easy access to at the moment. I would also look for hands on work with a professional at a nature center, arboretum, botanic garden, zoo, natural history museum, or land trust.

 

A few of my favorite living science books.

 

According to Season by Mrs. William Starr Dana (botany)

The Frog Book by Mary C. Dickerson (herpetology)

The Living Year by Richard Headstrom (natural history)

Winter World or Summer World or Ravens in Winter or Trees in My Forest or anything by Bernd Heinrich (ecology)

Swampwalker's Journal or Year of the Turtle or anything else by David M. Carroll (herpetology)

Discovering Moths or Discovering Amphibians by John Himmelman (entomology)

The Edge of the Sea or anything else by Rachel Carson (marine bio)

Adventures in Nature or anything else by Edwin Way Teale

Life in the Soil by James B. Nardi

Noah's Garden and Planting Noah's Garden by Sara Stein (botany)

Chasing Monarchs or Walking the High Ridge by Robert Michael Pyle (entomology)

Basin and Range by John McPhee (geology)

 

Also the CD by Elliot Lang entitled A Guide to Night Sounds (this one, unlike all his others, includes narration)

 

 

 

 

 

[happyWImom]

Sounds like a living books approach to science might be called for (maybe with a more engaging text for a spine). There are many lists on here of living science books none of which I have easy access to at the moment. I would also look for hands on work with a professional at a nature center, arboretum, botanic garden, zoo, natural history museum, or land trust.

 

A few of my favorite living science books.

 

According to Season by Mrs. William Starr Dana (botany)

The Frog Book by Mary C. Dickerson (herpetology)

The Living Year by Richard Headstrom (natural history)

Winter World or Summer World or Ravens in Winter or Trees in My Forest or anything by Bernd Heinrich (ecology)

Swampwalker's Journal or Year of the Turtle or anything else by David M. Carroll (herpetology)

Discovering Moths or Discovering Amphibians by John Himmelman (entomology)

The Edge of the Sea or anything else by Rachel Carson (marine bio)

Adventures in Nature or anything else by Edwin Way Teale

Life in the Soil by James B. Nardi

Noah's Garden and Planting Noah's Garden by Sara Stein (botany)

Chasing Monarchs or Walking the High Ridge by Robert Michael Pyle (entomology)

Basin and Range by John McPhee (geology)

 

Also the CD by Elliot Lang entitled A Guide to Night Sounds (this one, unlike all his others, includes narration)

Yes, on my good days with her, those are my thoughts, too.  She has such an affinity for it, I'd hate to squash it by having her just do text booky stuff.

 

Your list is fantastic, btw!  Thanks!

[SparklyUnicorn]

One of mine is like that.  I've tried various things, but I often am left feeling that the "fun" stuff I come up with isn't all that educational.  It's just some fluffy filler.  And it's kinda tiring to put that kinda effort into something that doesn't seem like much in the end.

 

Although he doesn't complain about all subjects.  Mostly math.  I do play math games with him often.  That helps.  But some days it's like dragging an elephant through mud. 

 

I don't really have advice though.  My older kid rarely complains about school work. 

 

 

[PeterPan]

You consider her 7th this year?  The real question is going to be what is your game place for junior high and high school?  Her 8th grade is to position her for 9th grade work.  Have you ever wondered about ADHD with her?  You mentioned a couple things that could be flags for it.  

 

That's a big transition from the apologia elementary books to Gen.  Gen wasn't a fav here either.  Have you started thinking through how you're going to handle high school?  You're mentioning workload, but there's also what type of work it is.  (textbook reading, projects, whatever)

 

My dd is a doer, and you're correct that it can be a challenge in a situation like this.  I totally agree with what you're sensing could happen.  On the one hand, my dd is total phenomenal to work with.  She's a hard worker, very bright, mildly competitive (in class situations), and very diligent (when she wants to be).  On the other hand, when she decides something isn't whatever, she's totally checked out and just gives up.  It is as frustrating to work with as you fear it can be.  And you are correct that *structure* (buzzword=structure) CAN help with that.  

 

What you might think about though, rather than pat across the board (though that's not necessarily a bad way), is a blend of ways to get that structure.  Map out her high school work, and mark the subjects you know you can work out together just based on her own interests and volition.  For instance english, art, there are going to be some things she's fine with.  Then find the ones that need more structure to go better, things she might not drive so much herself, and figure out some reasonable structure for those.  BF is pretty open-ended time-wise.  MFW for high school tends to be pretty concrete.  Textbooks are pretty concrete.  If it comes with something you can type into a syllabus and has clearly defined tasks, that's concrete.

 

Actually, you know what she might really like (if you're open to it) is Oak Meadow.  Check it out.  Of all the structured, pre-done programs, it's going to be the one with the most artistic sensibility, the one that will have artistic options for projects, etc.  It's pretty standard stuff, very structured, and might appeal to her.  And that would give you that buffet where you'd say ok, here's our list of the credits we need to cover for high school (and show her the 4 year spread), how much of this do you want to use OM for and where do you want to diverge with a couple things we think up.  And sorta has that out.  Then your 8th grade is getting in place whatever skills she needs to be ready for that 9th grade plan.  Work backwards like that.

[happyWImom]

One of mine is like that.  I've tried various things, but I often am left feeling that the "fun" stuff I come up with isn't all that educational.  It's just some fluffy filler.  And it's kinda tiring to put that kinda effort into something that doesn't seem like much in the end.

 

Although he doesn't complain about all subjects.  Mostly math.  I do play math games with him often.  That helps.  But some days it's like dragging an elephant through mud. 

 

I don't really have advice though.  My older kid rarely complains about school work. 

It's nice to know we're not alone. :001_smile:

[Ellie]

My dd (almost 13) says she "hates" school, and just wants to get it over with.  She loves learning certain things on her own, outside of our "school".  She knows more about birds, reptiles, and other animals than I ever will, and voraciously reads field guides of all kinds.  She is a fantastic photographer, very artistic and creative, as well as a talented pianist.  She enjoys reading-what she wants to read, not for "school".

 

So, I have busted my butt for years trying to come up with interesting, engaging curriculum that she will love, because I want her to love learning.  Also, I'm now getting concerned about high school and college, and am thinking I should be challenging her more.  But.  She is/can be a difficult child, so part of me just wants to have her do Calvert, (or something similar) across the board for the ease and accountability, because if she hates everything anyway, what am I killing myself for??? :banghead:

 

I need lots of advice, because I've been scouring the boards for info. on distance learning, looking at MP, BJU, Abeka-all things that are totally different from our norm.  We've done literature type stuff-MFW, BF, SL unit studies.  They never seem to get done, though.  She is an average reader, but needs to take her time for comprehension.  So, something like SL (which my ds would kill for) is a nightmare for her.  When I read aloud, she says she doesn't take it in as well.  I'm at a loss, here.

 

Here is what she's doing now.  BF Early Am. HIstory, Intermediate, BF History of the Horse, Apologia Swimming Creatures w/ her own notebooking, Essentials in Writing, MUS, Vocabulary from Classical Roots, piano, drawing lessons, speech class.  She does pretty well with the BF (when she stays on task & we have time) as well as Apologia.  But, we started Apologia Gen. Science at the beginning of the year with a Co-op and it moved too quickly (with the co-op schedule) and was taking her FOREVER.  She totally hated it, and she's always liked Apologia.  I have BF Ancients and was thinking of using it for next year, but it's a lot more work than she's done.

 

Okay, enough background.  PLEASE HELP!  :001_smile: 

 

Wait...she's doing Beautiful Feet Books Early Am. History *plus* Intermediate History *plus* History of the Horse? :svengo: Gosh, I wouldn't blame her for "hating school" if she's doing all of those in one year.

 

Maybe it would work for her if you quit trying to come up with interesting, engaging curriculum and let her follow her own interests. Of course, she's at an age where it will be important for her to think about her future, and so you and she could have that discussion, and then go from there.

 

FTR, I doubt that all ABeka or all BJUP, especially done through the distance-learning schools, would be a great thing.

 

[happyWImom]

You consider her 7th this year?  The real question is going to be what is your game place for junior high and high school?  Her 8th grade is to position her for 9th grade work.  Have you ever wondered about ADHD with her?  You mentioned a couple things that could be flags for it.  

 

That's a big transition from the apologia elementary books to Gen.  Gen wasn't a fav here either.  Have you started thinking through how you're going to handle high school?  You're mentioning workload, but there's also what type of work it is.  (textbook reading, projects, whatever)

 

My dd is a doer, and you're correct that it can be a challenge in a situation like this.  I totally agree with what you're sensing could happen.  On the one hand, my dd is total phenomenal to work with.  She's a hard worker, very bright, mildly competitive (in class situations), and very diligent (when she wants to be).  On the other hand, when she decides something isn't whatever, she's totally checked out and just gives up.  It is as frustrating to work with as you fear it can be.  And you are correct that *structure* (buzzword=structure) CAN help with that.  

 

What you might think about though, rather than pat across the board (though that's not necessarily a bad way), is a blend of ways to get that structure.  Map out her high school work, and mark the subjects you know you can work out together just based on her own interests and volition.  For instance english, art, there are going to be some things she's fine with.  Then find the ones that need more structure to go better, things she might not drive so much herself, and figure out some reasonable structure for those.  BF is pretty open-ended time-wise.  MFW for high school tends to be pretty concrete.  Textbooks are pretty concrete.  If it comes with something you can type into a syllabus and has clearly defined tasks, that's concrete.

 

Actually, you know what she might really like (if you're open to it) is Oak Meadow.  Check it out.  Of all the structured, pre-done programs, it's going to be the one with the most artistic sensibility, the one that will have artistic options for projects, etc.  It's pretty standard stuff, very structured, and might appeal to her.  And that would give you that buffet where you'd say ok, here's our list of the credits we need to cover for high school (and show her the 4 year spread), how much of this do you want to use OM for and where do you want to diverge with a couple things we think up.  And sorta has that out.  Then your 8th grade is getting in place whatever skills she needs to be ready for that 9th grade plan.  Work backwards like that.

It helps me to see it all laid out, like you've done.  Honestly, everything you've written is what I have gone over in my head (and on paper).  I'm terrified of making the wrong choice for her, now that high school and beyond is looming closer.  I know that I just need to make a decision and be done with it, but it's difficult for  me.  I overthink everything!

 

I have looked at OM, because we did try a Waldorfish slant to our work for a while.  It appealed to me.  If I did it, I would do it with their distance learning school.  I know there have been lots of questions about the rigor of their classes, and that is a concern, however, we haven't been rigorous up until now, so....  

 

My one other thought (besides OM or Calvert) is Bridgeway, because I know they use multiple curricula, we could combine some online classes, etc...  For some reason I'm a bit hesitant, not sure why.

 

Thanks for letting me think out loud, and for your thoughts.  I think I will contact OM and see what they say.

[PeterPan]

Why would you need their distance learning school??  Why not just try *1* or 2 classes OM for 8th and just ease into it and see if it's a good fit? :)

 

Besides, when did rigorous become the religious word it is with some people?  Mercy.  Some people do better with engaged rather than rigorous, diligent rather than difficult, unusual rather than typical AP pile-up.  It's not like rigorous, pile up your list of 4s and 5s is the ONLY way to become a whole, productive, healthy human being who has a place in the world and knows what they have to give, kwim?  You've already shown she has an artistic, creative soul.  Probably she's going to want time for that to flourish, with an appropriate, diligent, consistent load of work.  OM, something normal can be that.  It doesn't have to be the hardest thing there is to be good.

 

When you're trying outside stuff, sometimes it's nice to build up slowly.  Like for 8th try *1* outside thing, for 9th try 2, just build up, kwim?  That way you build up her skills, her ability to handle homework and deadlines, etc. too.  Or maybe try a mix of one OM syllabus and one online interactive class, kwim?  You don't have to go into it all at once.  Build up to things so her skills build up.  Less shock.  She's not going to be the same person in 9th she is now.  Comparing 7th and 10th for us is like comparing K5 and college, wow.  Seriously, totally different human being.  8th is a great time to do some really interest-led wackiness (your last hurrah) before you buckle down.  So let her have something really wild she likes and then pick something that is a bit of a stretch that prepares her for whatever you might be doing in 9th.

 

It's ok not to have all of high school totally figured out.  You'll probably make some kind of framework about the classes she'll probably want to do (4 english, 4 history, art, PE, that kind of thing), and then shift what you actually use to accomplish those things as you get there.  It can all flex.  Lots of ways to skin a cat.   :)

 

I spent some time looking at Bridgeway a couple years ago.  OM has a lot easier structure to implement and would have the artistic side to fit her.  I think OM would be *easier* to make happen, easier to transition into and use selectively, and it's probably less expensive.  Does she have an ipad?  OM tends to use traditional texts, and some of those are now available for ipad.  

 

[happyWImom]

Wait...she's doing Beautiful Feet Books Early Am. History *plus* Intermediate History *plus* History of the Horse? :svengo: Gosh, I wouldn't blame her for "hating school" if she's doing all of those in one year.

 

Maybe it would work for her if you quit trying to come up with interesting, engaging curriculum and let her follow her own interests. Of course, she's at an age where it will be important for her to think about her future, and so you and she could have that discussion, and then go from there.

 

FTR, I doubt that all ABeka or all BJUP, especially done through the distance-learning schools, would be a great thing.

 

No, she's doing Early Am History Intermediate guide and History of the Horse is more like her lit. study.  

 

I have tried to sit down with her and ask which type of curriculum she would like, and her comment was "It doesn't matter what, I'll hate anything."  At one point, she said "Lets just do BF Ancients" because BF is known to her.  But, she didn't really look at it, as I wanted her to.  It is a lot more work than the 2 others.

[PeterPan]

Have you done any form of standardized testing with her?  I'd just want to be checking that reading comprehension to make sure it's actually on grade level.

 

You know, another thing to consider is the one thing for one subject rule.  BF has so much lit and writing woven in, she probably could have done just one BF course without the other and been fine.  If you're doing double of things, try eliminating that for next year.  Sometimes less is more.  She could blog her photography or do only pleasure-driven reading (on that ipad!) rather than a formal program.  Less could be more.  One thing for each subject, less things overall, and then count the amount of time it would take and trim if it's over say 4-6 hours INCLUDING her reading.  And make it such that she gets to do 1-2 hours a night of reading for pleasure that counts toward that school time.  

 

I don't know, just some things to consider.  I've done a lot of tabulating with dd's school work over the years and that's how I do it.  Sometimes less is more.  Sometimes less formal work, more time for the things they do to themselves, is good.

 

PS.  Have you ever looked at National History Day?  She has a great personality for her.  Look into it.  You could do that and skip formal history entirely.  Seriously.  :)

[happyWImom]

Why would you need their distance learning school??  Why not just try *1* or 2 classes OM for 8th and just ease into it and see if it's a good fit? :)

 

Besides, when did rigorous become the religious word it is with some people?  Mercy.  Some people do better with engaged rather than rigorous, diligent rather than difficult, unusual rather than typical AP pile-up.  It's not like rigorous, pile up your list of 4s and 5s is the ONLY way to become a whole, productive, healthy human being who has a place in the world and knows what they have to give, kwim?  You've already shown she has an artistic, creative soul.  Probably she's going to want time for that to flourish, with an appropriate, diligent, consistent load of work.  OM, something normal can be that.  It doesn't have to be the hardest thing there is to be good.

 

When you're trying outside stuff, sometimes it's nice to build up slowly.  Like for 8th try *1* outside thing, for 9th try 2, just build up, kwim?  That way you build up her skills, her ability to handle homework and deadlines, etc. too.  Or maybe try a mix of one OM syllabus and one online interactive class, kwim?  You don't have to go into it all at once.  Build up to things so her skills build up.  Less shock.  She's not going to be the same person in 9th she is now.  Comparing 7th and 10th for us is like comparing K5 and college, wow.  Seriously, totally different human being.  8th is a great time to do some really interest-led wackiness (your last hurrah) before you buckle down.  So let her have something really wild she likes and then pick something that is a bit of a stretch that prepares her for whatever you might be doing in 9th.

 

It's ok not to have all of high school totally figured out.  You'll probably make some kind of framework about the classes she'll probably want to do (4 english, 4 history, art, PE, that kind of thing), and then shift what you actually use to accomplish those things as you get there.  It can all flex.  Lots of ways to skin a cat.   :)

 

I spent some time looking at Bridgeway a couple years ago.  OM has a lot easier structure to implement and would have the artistic side to fit her.  I think OM would be *easier* to make happen, easier to transition into and use selectively, and it's probably less expensive.  Does she have an ipad?  OM tends to use traditional texts, and some of those are now available for ipad.  

My original plan was to do just as you suggest, let next year be a "last hurrah", with some slow build up.  I purchased Lightning Lit 7 for her to use when she's finished with History of the Horse, because we've not done much in the way of literature studies.  I like the look of it a lot.  It will be a challenge for her, but not too overwhelming.  I guess I was thinking we should do OM as a distance school for the accountability.  She's always worried about being "behind" and keeps telling me "If I was in public school, I would have to do such & such, and take tests" yet when it comes to getting school done, her motivation constantly fluctuates.  I know I am to blame for a lot of it.  She has anxiety & OCD, so behavior issues definitely come into play and I'm always trying to figure out the best way to handle it.  Melt downs put us back, and now puberty is here.  I guess that's where my panic is setting in.

 

I have come to the realization that I'm not putting any pressure on when it comes to math (our downfall) and will not let where "everyone else is" change our course.  She isn't going to be a math major, and I want her to understand what she's doing, get the basics, and not feel badly about herself.  As to rigor, you are correct, some people do better with engaged, and that was my hope & plan for both of my dc.  I get on these boards and look at schedules/classes for 7th & 8th graders and think "What have I done??"  or "They aren't prepared?"  Thank you for snapping my sense back into me!  

[PeterPan]

Is she getting any counseling for the anxiety and OCD?  Have you considered a full psych eval so you can see if there's anything else going on?  As much as people don't like labels, she might be eligible for some accommodations now, with her college entrance testing, and in college.  This would be a good time to consider evals, to make sure you have complete information.  For instance, what you're calling "needs time for comprehension" is low processing speed in my dd.  Like an almost 60% gap between her IQ and her processing speed.  And that gets her disability accommodations.  It informs how we handle our work now and having the paper enables her to request appropriate accommodations in her online classes.  

 

Yes, if you spend your time hanging on the MS and HS boards and looking at schedules for kids with no disabilities who are going to Harvard, who win national prizes, who do DE in 9th just because they're able to and bored, well YEAH you're gonna get all swizzled in the head.  I hang on LC and don't go over to the high school board much.  I know my dd's IQ and I'm not confused about how bright she is.  I just know I have to homeschool her through high school with integrity and appropriate to who SHE is, not somebody else.  My goal is to do things that help HER blossom, not what was great for somebody else.  And we don't do that perfectly, sigh.  But we TRY.  And it starts by totally ignoring the crowd and getting evals and looking straight at your own kid, with their reality, and thinking about what will help them blossom as a human being.  

 

I think everyone has something they can do well, maybe several somethings.  I think it's nice if kids have the time to find that. I think kids who find that develop a strong sense of themselves and what they have to give to the world.  Hopefully in the process they learn a work ethic.  And hopefully along the way those gifts and that willingness to work make a space for them in the world.  

 

At least that's my theory.  And rigor and shoving them through a list had nothing to do with it.

[albeto.]

She has anxiety & OCD, so behavior issues definitely come into play and I'm always trying to figure out the best way to handle it. Melt downs put us back, and now puberty is here. I guess that's where my panic is setting in.

[Edited because I saw the above comment]

 

In my experience, addressing her mental state should be done before working over academic expectations. If she has neurological challenges that are getting in the way of her accessing and processing information, anything you do with curricula will be met with similar resistance. Helping her correct the neurological imbalance should make any academic schedule less stressful. Otherwise, it's like asking her to work on her hurdle jumping before setting a broken ankle. Good intentions and will power will only go so far against a biological obstruction.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Oops, caught some updates which made my post less relevant so I deleted. Glad you are getting good advice. :grouphug:

[happyWImom]

Is she getting any counseling for the anxiety and OCD?  Have you considered a full psych eval so you can see if there's anything else going on?  As much as people don't like labels, she might be eligible for some accommodations now, with her college entrance testing, and in college.  This would be a good time to consider evals, to make sure you have complete information.  For instance, what you're calling "needs time for comprehension" is low processing speed in my dd.  Like an almost 60% gap between her IQ and her processing speed.  And that gets her disability accommodations.  It informs how we handle our work now and having the paper enables her to request appropriate accommodations in her online classes.  

 

Yes, if you spend your time hanging on the MS and HS boards and looking at schedules for kids with no disabilities who are going to Harvard, who win national prizes, who do DE in 9th just because they're able to and bored, well YEAH you're gonna get all swizzled in the head.  I hang on LC and don't go over to the high school board much.  I know my dd's IQ and I'm not confused about how bright she is.  I just know I have to homeschool her through high school with integrity and appropriate to who SHE is, not somebody else.  My goal is to do things that help HER blossom, not what was great for somebody else.  And we don't do that perfectly, sigh.  But we TRY.  And it starts by totally ignoring the crowd and getting evals and looking straight at your own kid, with their reality, and thinking about what will help them blossom as a human being.  

 

I think everyone has something they can do well, maybe several somethings.  I think it's nice if kids have the time to find that. I think kids who find that develop a strong sense of themselves and what they have to give to the world.  Hopefully in the process they learn a work ethic.  And hopefully along the way those gifts and that willingness to work make a space for them in the world.  

 

At least that's my theory.  And rigor and shoving them through a list had nothing to do with it.

We are getting counseling, and have for the past 3 years.  They've never brought up a full psych eval., though.  How exactly does that work?  She's never been tested, so I don't have any idea regarding IQ or anything.  It is making sense to me now, because while math has always been an issue, she gets frustrated and says she has a hard time remembering facts, historical type facts, and connecting things.  When I read aloud, she asks a lot of questions and doesn't always "get" certain contexts.  Yet she can remember the names of every bird, insect, amphibian, etc... she's ever seen or read about!  She knows their habits, behaviors, oddities down cold.

[Tess in the Burbs]

My DS hates school.  Always has.  he would rather play with legos all day.  And video games.  He has been to convention with me several years.  I let him pick from several options each year.  It doesn't help...he just hates school.  He is not motivated though.  He likes to read, but very little motivates him at this point.  So I just started being firm...what do you want in life?  I can show you how to get there.  Right now he has no clue, so until he can pick some great future to aim for he has to just move along.  It's like dragging a horse to water...the dragging wears me down.  he wants to be home.  But seriously, it's so hard some days.  I have tried forever in making it fun and engaging.  This kid just doesn't care.  

[albeto.]

We are getting counseling, and have for the past 3 years.  They've never brought up a full psych eval., though.  How exactly does that work?  She's never been tested, so I don't have any idea regarding IQ or anything.  It is making sense to me now, because while math has always been an issue, she gets frustrated and says she has a hard time remembering facts, historical type facts, and connecting things.  When I read aloud, she asks a lot of questions and doesn't always "get" certain contexts.  Yet she can remember the names of every bird, insect, amphibian, etc... she's ever seen or read about!  She knows their habits, behaviors, oddities down cold.

I would seek a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist and go from there. This may not be a family dynamic, personal character issue, but a legitimate biological issue that can be addressed. Let's say you're looking at a mild autistic spectrum, or non-verbal learning disorder. There are all kinds of really practical ways to help her here, and there's no reason for you to waste time reinventing the wheel when others can get you caught up.

[albeto.]

I'm curious about the evaluations also... Who does them? What do we ask for when we contact them? Thanks (not trying to hijack!)

I would start looking for a licensed child psychologist, psychiatrist, or developmental pediatrician in the area. Then call around and ask questions like what can they find out, what is the evaluation process like, are such and such behaviors cause for concern. The more you talk about this, the more you'll see what direction your conversations take, the more succinct your questions will become. As your family doctor for recommendations. Look online for reviews, see who takes your insurance (if this applies).

[PeterPan]

There are clinical psychologists, ed psychologists, and neuropsychologists.  What varies is how much time they spend doing testing (billable hours), how much feedback they give, etc.  I'm not so much talking psychiatrist, because that would be for meds and more involved counseling.  I'm talking a psychological eval to look for anything that needs to be diagnosed or needs accommodations.  Your counselor may be able to recommend someone.  Your counselor may have some thoughts on things going on that they aren't allowed to say because it's not their field, kwim?  

 

So ask your counselor, ask around your homeschool community, see what your insurance covers, see who is well-respected or liked in your area, see who is known for giving useful feedback.  Sometimes the ps does a really good eval.  You just never know and it really varies with the school district.  

 

The main thing is to get that full eval so you can get complete information on what is going on and documentation on how that carries over to her school work.  It may change how you're doing some things together.  Getting that info on how my dd processes DEFINITELY changed how I worked with her.

 

Btw, you might find this interesting.  Just something I came across in my own reading.  Addressing Anxiety & OCD in ...