cave canem Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I don't know whether the high school board would have been more appropriate, but I am trying here first. Has anyone sent a child to a therapeutic boarding school? Know a child who went to one? Know someone who runs one? If you have any experience or knowledge, please send it my way. PMs are fine. Thanks. Lee in New England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Lee - I have a friend from grad school who sent her daughter to a therapeutic boarding school in Vermont. If you like, I can see if she'd be willing to be in contact. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Two different kids I have known with very serious problems that were tearing up their families did well in therapeutic boarding schools. However, check, check,. check references, do above-and-beyond research. I looked at one place a friend was researching and it turned out that the clinical staff all had degrees from online schools. Given that there are usually rules about not contacting parents for the first month or so and that no contact can be a consequence for misbehavior, you have to know for sure that the school is being run by well-qualified professionals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sdel Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 We sent a kid to one. I have mixed feelings on the issue and it did not help (school admitted his issues probably couldn't be helped). And it was super expensive. I'd be more than happy to share more in PM if you have any specific questions... Stefanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Theraputic Boarding School or residential treatment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Therapeutic for what? Is there alcohol or drugs involved? Is it rebellion? Does the child have a criminal record of any kind? Different boarding schools will accept different types of kids. And they won't accept kids that have needs that they are not set up to handle. Do you want secular? Do you want Christian? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Just want to say you do not want to be in the mindset that the school or treatment will fix your child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Just want to say you do not want to be in the mindset that the school or treatment will fix your child. I wanted to echo this. Sometimes it will help, but not always. Sometimes, however, even if it will not help the child, it will help the family. That is a valid reason to consider going this route. I have limited experience with this, but what i do have leads me to make that statement. My parents' friends had to deal with this, and I have to say that time was the best teacher of all for their daughter, but that the rest of their family was salvaged by the daughter's attending this school. In my own adulthood, I have known people who had to go this route and 3 of them had salvaged families but the minor child him/herself was not helped that much. The fourth family, both benefitted. One of my close friends had to go live away from her family from ages 14-17. She uses a very interesting phrase to tell about the "why" of it. She says she could not come of age in her parents' home. She had to try things that just freaked them out too much. She doesn't fault them for their stance, nor does she blame her own self. It's just what it was. The people she went to live with instead were more detached and so when she shaved her head or came home drunk or whatever, they were caring but not as freaked out as her parents were. She and her parents are very close now. All and I mean ALL has been healed and redeemed. Her live-away family also says they never had a bit of disrespect from her. The decision saved everyone invovled, but it wasn't easy. God be with you. If you are asking this question, you are in a place that is full of pain and anxiety. I've been in that pit (maybe not as much as you are...) and it stinks. But that time will end, too. God be with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pronghorn Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 A friend of mine had an adopted child with attachment and trauma problems. The child lived away from home for about 18 months. I think it was partly the child's idea. They still had some rocky times after the child returned home. Now the child is pretty much grown and doing very well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cave canem Posted January 3, 2015 Author Share Posted January 3, 2015 To all, thank you for your thoughtful replies. I don't think an institution can fix anyone. I prefer a Christian environment, but I recognize that the needs might be best met in a secular institution. The student has no issues with the law. Ethel, I would like to know the name of the school. If it looks like something appropriate, I might want to follow up with your friend. Stefanie, I would be grateful to talk to you off board about this. I will pm you. Pronghorn, do you know whether the child went to a boarding school or just lived away from home? I am interested in this story. Thank you. Lee in New England Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 Lee - Here is what my friend says: ---------------------------------------------------- T goes to Rock Point School in Burlington, VT. It's not a therapeutic school to deal with mental health issues that are needing more focused attention. But most of the kids have BEEN at some sort of treatment program. The best help we got was to find an educational consultant to help find an appropriate placement. Not cheap, but definitely worth the money in our case! We used the Bodin Group: http://www.thebodingroup.com/ If the kid has active, unstable mental health issues, a therapeutic school or residential program is probably what they need to be looking for. We resisted at first, but one of the best things we did for T was get her to a wilderness intervention where they were able to better diagnose her needs. That's an option too. -------------------------------------- Hope some of this helps. Hang in there! ----------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurel-in-CA Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 My niece went to a therapeutic boarding school in high school. She was suicidal and failing all her classes with horrible friend choices. She completed the program and is in a better place mentally, and she caught up on her academics and was able to come home this year for her senior year; she really wanted to succeed at the same school where she had struggled. Guess what, it's still a struggle. She's better able to see & take responsibility for choices, but they're still often not the right choices. In her case, the place was chosen for its isolation and use of horses in therapy and work experience. It was not specifically christian, altho' my sis and her family are christians. What are the criteria for this choice? It helps to think what will appeal to/motivate the young person as well as looking at the quality of the program and the cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saw Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 My DS has been at boarding school since he turned 9. He's never been in a therapeutic boarding school, but he's the sort of kid who does far better in boarding school than he would in regular school or homeschool. I think some of the advantages of boarding school in general are relevant to therapeutic schools as well. The positives have been not having to transition between home, school or outside classes, sports, activiites. He is with the same group of kids for classes and outside activities. This is better for him because he does not do well with transitions. Another positive is the full scheduling. He is kept super-busy. Some sport is required, so he is getting exercise 6 days a week. Homework is supervised for the younger boys. Older boys are given responsibility for the younger ones (to a degree). Since academics and activities are all run through the school, there is good overlap of communication among the various teachers, coaches, tutors, etc. There's also enough going on for each boy to be able to find something he can be good in, which of course builds confidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 There are some therapeutic boarding schools that are probably good options for some kids, there are also some schools that are nightmares for various reasons. Investigate licensure, staff credentials and training, policies, and query for past complaints filed carefully before going forward. Beyond choosing a program, I think you need to be clear and comfortable that therapeutic boarding school is really the best option for the child. If you're at a point where you absolutely can't have the child at home and don't believe that an ip and or residential program can get things to a point where that will be doable then it may be a good option to arrange that they have a safe place and are provided with an education [presuming that you've found a school that offers both]. In general service intensity is much lower in therapeutic boarding schools than in ip/residential programs and often lower than in many iop/op programs so it may not be the best option for dealing with mental health diagnoses including addiction. If you're dealing with attachment issues, I generally believe that long separations don't facilitate better attachment and wouldn't be in favor of therapeutic boarding school for that reason. However, if you've reached a point where you've resigned yourself that you have a child who will never attach, trust, or respect you; you feel like you are powerless to keep the child safe for the aforementioned reasons; and possibly feel powerless to keep others safe from the child; then perhaps a therapeutic boarding school is the best of a bad set of options and a way to get the child safely to adulthood. If you're in this position then I extend a lot of compassion and no judgment. We've not been there but I'm sure it is not easy. Feel free to PM me if you have questions about anything I've shared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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