LaughingCat Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 It drives me crazy when the drama escalates - and it's just getting worse -- the world is ending drama over the (IMO) most ridiculous little things. I'd appreciate any tips people have on how they stay calm and cool in the midst of the tornado. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 How to maintain your cool? I just remember that while I have more important things in my life to worry about, this is obviously very important to the person who is upset. I offer an ear and a hug. If they are sulking, some snacks and a favorite drink delivered to their room, does wonders for my kids if they need to feel some extra mama love from a distance. In my own experience, when stress from many areas are pressing down on me, it isn't the most important or largest thing that sends me over the edge, it is often some stupid small thing that does me in. I try hard to remember that with my own kids as well. DD15 will rant a bit, but she isn't one to slam doors or create a disturbance. DS20-I have never seen him upset in 20 years of raising him. I am sure he has been, I just have never seen it. DD8 is a totally different story, wearing every emotion on her sleeve. For teens, it depends on the kid. DD15 will want one of three things. 1. to talk it out with me, accepting advice (not necessarily following it, but listening). 2. To hide in her room and draw, pouring her emotions on to paper. 3. Retail therapy. This usually leads back to number one by the end of the shopping trip. Ds20 has always been more of a 'hide in my room and delve into a video game' type person. If one of my older kids are creating huge drama downstairs and it is overwhelming me, I go hide in my room or if I can't do that (cooking dinner etc), then I ask them to go somewhere else in the house. Then the aforementioned snacks and drinks are delivered so they know I am still supporting them, just don't want to deal with it in my face at the moment. DD8 is the flail on the floor, cry, moan type person. That is not allowed downstairs at all and will get her sent to her room with instructions to shut the door behind her. She can be sad downstairs but not destructive or dramatic to the point of making others mad at her for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaughingCat Posted October 29, 2014 Author Share Posted October 29, 2014 Yes, how to keep my cool :chillpill: when DD is ranting and crying and falling apart. I start out well but can't maintain it. The times where a little thought and ingenuity could resolve the whole issue are the worst - I want to help her but the drama storm twists everything I say. I need to work on just keeping my lips zipped until the storm is past I guess. Good thought on how it is probably something else that is actually driving her to the edge and this is just the last thing to push her over - I will keep that in mind because I'm sure the "this is so freaking ridiculous" thoughts don't help me out at all :nopity: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 "Darling child, I want to help you. If you want my help, let me know. I will help you when you are able to be respectful of my time and energy. I love you." Kiss in the head and disengage. Once I lovingly set a boundary about how much *I* am willing to engage in drama, my stress level went down dramatically. And since I was not feeding the stress with my own aggravation, the drama of the moment tends to settle down more quickly. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 Watch a few episodes of The Middle. It won't stop the drama, but will help you get through it. 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 keep in mind - to a tween, these things are serious. be calm, walk them through thinking thinks through (they won't learn how otherwise) so they can see things in a more rational light. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My tween is still attached enough that when she feels really tempestuous she wants to be swept up in a big hug. Sometimes even with me singing a familiar song. I think things get so overwhelming fast that being reminded on such basic levels that she is still my little girl really helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My girls get super dramatic and cry. It doesnt help to talk, offer hugs, etc. I try to walk away, but they can carry on a lot. Usually over stuff like hair and clothes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 My tween is still attached enough that when she feels really tempestuous she wants to be swept up in a big hug. Sometimes even with me singing a familiar song. I think things get so overwhelming fast that being reminded on such basic levels that she is still my little girl really helps. My 11 y.o. too. He was starting to wind up a little this morning, then he came and sat on my lap. Sweet boy. Growing up is hard sometimes. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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